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this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.
13 -
I downloaded the Visual Studio Installer.
It actually turned out to be the Visual Studio Installer Installer.6 -
When I self-published my first indie game on steam and people actually started buying it.
Remember sitting on the floor with a bottle of vodka trying to tell my girlfriend like that lunatic dotconnecting on a whiteboard meme guy, this is really bad because too much people bought it.
They should spend their money on something useful instead of me, I felt like a fraud.
It turned out good in the end tho, made some updates for it that made it better so i felt better about it, plus got a job from a publisher because they liked my game 😃6 -
I know a guy who writes everything in Haskell.
He started learning it because his parents got him into a math school (and math schools in Russia use either Python or Haskell), he liked it, but later he dropped out. Today, apart from Haskell, he only really knows HTML and CSS, and maybe some JavaScript.
He writes backend AND frontend in Haskell and uses some kind of JRPC stuff to manage all that. He told me that his life is a pure heaven. He IS RELEVANT (!!!!!!), his apps always run without bugs (because in Haskell you can mathematically prove that there are no bugs), they are performant, faster than C (because you can't write a complex enough app in C that will be as efficient as compiled Haskell, because it's you vs compiler). He doesn't have any problems in life whatsoever. He never got burned out, he never got anxiety or depression. He doesn't act pretentiously and stuff, he's just a normal person who rarely even mentions that he can program.
Science says it can't be done! You can't only know Haskell and be a relevant software engineer! You know what, he didn't _know_ it was impossible. He's like that grandpa from a meme, he got Alzheimers, but because of it he forgot that he had Alzheimers, and now remembers everything.
The fun thing is that he looks like a typical gopnik, with adidas suits and stuff.
What a gem of a person.26 -
> Amazon like website - 9 dollars
> Webdev homework. - 50 dollars
> Spelling mistakes. - have no price
Freelancing can be so bizarre, I'm 50 bucks wealthier now tho.2 -
Probably the most rage inducing data loss story...
When it comes to my cellphone I'm a data hoarder, I store each relevant meme, conversation, video, contact, nudes, etc. Had to replace my phone? Easy, change the SD.
I did this for about 4 years, had over 11GB of almost everything and anything in a 36GB SD, one afternoon my buddies and I went to a small tech convention and on our way to my car we got mugged by 5 armed men.
They took my brand new phone along with my wallet and all my cash, luckily I had GPS tracking enabled and we were able to pinpoint the exact location of my phone within 30min.
So far so good...
We called the cops and went with them, we found the car with illegal plates and weapons inside (knives, a bat, gun) so I tell the robbers were in there inside a closed cyber cafe and showed him the point on the map confirming this.
Cop: oh we can't do that we don't have an order...
Me: are you kidding me, here's the GPS, there's the car, there's the weapons, doesnt that count as at least probable cause or some shit?
Cop: we don't have that in this country, you can file a report and after 3 business days we can come here to inquire.
Me: (fucking lost it) do you fucking think they'll be here in 3 days?! I'll give you 500 bucks if you go bust their ass now.
Cop: (thinks about it) but what if they are armed? [4 patrols, 8 cops, 4 rifles and at least 6 guns plus vests] Maybe if you had contacts within the bureau we could have an order now...
(┛✧Д✧))┛彡┻━┻
I lost a lot that day, including respect to this fucked up system.
t(ಠ益ಠt) FUCK THE POLICE go eat a dick.
10 -
Rocky Linux.
The ancient Linux distro, presumably the main desktop Linux used by cavemen.
You can still see some instances running these days.
6 -
I seriously feel like this should be a joke/meme.
What you see in the picture is a database table.
This guy's now running around with a degree in something related to web development.
6 -
We've had a bunch of flaky tests in our repo for a while now that no one could be bothered to fix; we'd just re-run ci until it's green. Today I looked into it and I was inspired to make this meme, because I lived through it.
Adding logs to investigate just lowered the fail rate making investigation more difficult. I do have an idea of what it might be though so, we'll see tomorrow.
3 -
This may or may not be an old meme but this is the first time i ever saw it and all i can say is
THANK YOU to the original creator, whoever he or she might be!
I had this insecurity for a long time as i always portrayed myself as more of a thinker than coder. I have to go over everythibg before i got to write even one single line of code, and for this reason i tought i might not be made out to be a programmer after all :s
It's truly reassuring to hear that your short comings are actually quite normal 😥
Sorry for the long post on a joke tagged post 😁
5 -
So for my programming class, we had to make a game using Scratch. No problem, I said. Scratch is easy stuff. Just drag and drop blocks. Like legos. Legos that actually do shit. Cool.
So my game is about a dog underneath a plinko set, dodging balls that come down the plinko thing. Easy enough. I figured I would spice things up a bit. My teacher has to go through 20 of these games, I figured I'd make mine interesting. I add a little heart system.
Now for those of you who don't know Scratch, or don't care enough to look it up, all of Scratch's codes are within the sprite themselves. They can communicate with other sprites with a thing called broadcasting. When other sprites receive a broadcast, it can activate a script. yeah, cool.
So I had a script on the dog, that broadcasts a message to the heart system to remove a heart when the dog is hit. So to keep things short, I call the broadcast "Dog's hit."
For anyone who knows programming, computers have no clue what an apostrophe or a space is. They can't read it unless you have it all letters, maybe a semicolon. So, I removed the space and apostrophe, with my innocent 17 year-old mind not realizing this makes it "Dogshit."
Game's finished. Finally. Due date comes in, I submit it all proud and everything. I just created the best dog-plinko simulator of all time. Later that day, I show it to my friend, who then points out the typo.
At this point, my teacher already graded it. I went down to see him after school, and he must've known why I went down as soon as I walked in the door, and just cracked up. He told me it was fine, and not to do it again.
I left red.
4 -
Me: *Gives second round in an interview, didn’t go as expected, waits for the result (at this moment we can’t go further with your profile kinda result)*
HR: *calls after 2 weeks* Hi, hope you’re doing good, your last round was declared CNS (Candidate no show)
Me: was it this bad, that the guy interviewing me simply wiped off my existence?
HR: let me figure out something. *Calls back after 5 mins* since it was a no show, we’ve decided to not go with your profile further.
Me: 🥲 it didn’t have to be this brutal of a rejection6 -
Hey here we go:)
My first comic series - “DevStory”
A story of two devs aiming at changing the world’s impact about cryptos by their own token project.
Bugs, cheap scammers, money, flying unicorns and a lot of laughs!
(Episode 1)
26 -
Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.
In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)
I present a rare look into our national archives!
This document features two exhibits:
Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles
Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles
Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.
I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"
Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.
Just kill me
Happy friday ☠️
7 -
seriously. every time i use git i feel like it's playing tricks on me and changing shit around or how something worked. like ill make a new branch and it just magically told me im 17 commits ahead of master even though...i ... made ... one?
10 -
Tempted to write in this super-scientific paper/glorified report: "our findings show... my ass!" 😂😂😂8
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I love tools such as IntelliSense or Copilot, don't get me wrong!
But i still have a deep rooted fear that one day, developers will become so dependent on those luxuries, that we will become practically unable to write code on our own, without our cloud overlords blessings.
Until, you know.. the server for such a service will crash and no one will know how to fix it without its own help. *see Palpatine meme reference*
15 -
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5 -
The guy kept laughing all the time, so I turn and I see… a guy browsing anime underage feet pics.
And yes, before you ask he looked like the basement dweller meme guy.4 -
Hi devrant. Super-long time lurker, (years), but now introducing.
Expect the Spanish (ranting) inquisition.
Even as a green dot, I post in joke/meme just to not annoy innecesarily with non-rants.3 -
Funny how everything that seems like an almost general truth about the computer users is conditioned only but the phrase "..excepting Linux users" 🤔
No one randomly recommands operating systems ... excepting Linux users!
No one needs to know how to do <complicated hilly-billy technology> in order to use <generic simple software>!
It seems that we (the Linux users) are all rebels without a cause😅2 -
Sartre once said "Hell is other people" .
Obviously he did not use public transportation very often.1 -
So, I've seen a github repo whose owner puts all of his code in an unformatted README.md file, no further files. I'm not sure if I should be concerned for them or scared.1
-
Would you like to talk about our god and saviour TDD?
P.S. I like test driven development very much. It makes complex stuff really easy.
4 -
!dev
fun fact: when the world made the switch to the Gregorian calendar in the 1500's, we lost about 8 years in translation, so technically, this is the year 2012.8 -
I love how stupid idiotic shit companies think their bullshit email spam abuse works. Hell no fuck off blind monkey fuckers. You sick fucks makes me sick. The only thing i hate more than normal company spam is when your shitty company (in this case Sound cloud) begs for money. Just because a meme of a platform like that that was only used by people to find leaked songs got bought by some shitty investment company. You will have to be the biggest idiot that has never existed to buy "premium" on a clear ineferrior platform that is clearly a joke compeared to serious music platforms.
But hey thank you for remining me to remove my accounts you begging rats. Hope nobody is dumb enough to support your shitty platform.
8 -
my brain feels like an AI. It just slices things it sees and layers them over and over again. It doesn’t even change things, leaving them pristine and intact, it doesn’t filter stuff out. I cite memes exactly, word by word, with the exact intonation, because I literally just lip syncing to that meme playing in my head as if I was watching a youtube video. Some days I’m not even conscious of my surroundings, I don’t realize where I am, what I do, I’m just caught in that process I can barely put in words. People ask me to do something for them, I do it, and they’re like “no! it’s not what I asked for, well, it is, but not in this sense!” If they asked me if I could make their company the most profitable one in their niche, my brain will probably decide to instead sink and destroy other companies there. All that unspoken, “common sense” knowledge, I don’t understand. I feel detached, as if everyone else was “in” on something, some common notion, meanwhile I’m alone with my perfect things. I feel like a perfect Haskell codebase trying to interact with biker bar gloryhole dirty equivalent of an API. I want things to be exact, I want things to be precise, I want words you say to have specific meaning that I can understand, and I’ll ask you even though it takes overcoming my anxiety and guilt for asking “stupid” questions. If you throw in some clue, my brain will generate a Vsauce video worth of elaboration on that, and I’ll just tell it to you. Sometimes I feel like I just don’t fit, I can’t have fun at party with other people, if there are more than five of them, I’ll probably cry for no apparent reason. My consciousness operates smoothly, and then it don’t, it overheats, crashes and burns, then comes the numbness and derealisation.
I’m not okay. Now more than ever, I sometimes want to just end it.5 -
There is that meme "I've no idea what I'm doing" and there's the meme "it's fine *in a fire*". Currently I feel like a combination of those two. I'm in unexplored waters and nobody knows what's going on anyway, so I just make sure my part is technically correct according to specifications and when everything comes together I'm ready to respond to the expected disaster..
I tried to spread awareness of the coming disaster but nobody listens so I'll just wait and see what happens..1 -
Google carefully naming their language CARBON so that wherever I search it have search CARBON LANGUAGE! :/13
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I'm an idealist. I'm an optimist.
So of course I get enormously stressed out and depressed when the world just keeps fucking me over.
I have been at my current job for 2.5+ years. Been on the same project for the past 2+. And I am now on my 4th manager (not including the guy who hired me and got fired before I started).
It's just been one thing after the other. So many problems on this project with only one other dev on it until recently. Management has been avoiding taking proper actions.
I have done as much as I can and it has been a burden on my health. Last year I got passed over for a pay raise because of a bad manager, who since left for greener pastures. This year I got a small pay raise (below inflation) and a surprise bonus of such minuscule proportions that it's fucking laughable. I am being grossly underpaid for the weight that I'm pulling.
We just had a reorg that actually is a huge step in the right direction, and my new manager seems to actually want to give the project some proper attention.
So I asked him for a talk about my title and salary, so we can set things right.
We have now had two talks in a little over a week, in which he has emphatically stated over and over again how he just doesn't have the information or the power to give me anything at all.
And the thing is. I don't want to find another job. Of course I could easily do so, and for a lot more money too. But the problem is, I'm an idealist. I actually believe that what I'm working on, and what I will be working on in the future, at this place, is really important.
I should just get the hell out, as many of my colleagues have. It's actually quite incredible how many people have left my team over the past 6 months.
But I'm an optimist. I cannot see how management can possibly continue on this path without realising the consequences and taking action.
So now I've scheduled a meeting with the CEO to give him my two cents. I've done it before, which may actually have played a part in putting the reorg in motion.
I have to believe I can appeal to reason.
Otherwise, what's the point of anything?
I know. I'm the fucking clown meme.
Peace out.2 -
Okay, let's admit this, being a programmer, I never heard of devRant. The thing that made me join this platform was that it was giving away some free goodies, please don't hate me xD. I thought this would be like any other meme sharing platform where all nonsense is talked. But boy, how wrong I was. I ended up, using this application all the time. The people here, they are just amazing, I learned a lot here.
But the irony is, that I never received free goodies xD.5 -
does my co-worker code is actually really necessary, for the sake of arguments lets ignore server performance, and focus on this snippet.
added comment on the side of the parameters
11 -
Deep learning is probably (????) the only research branch where every successful paper title needs to be a stupid acronym or meme
I work in a conversational AI startup and the new intern that joined yesterday didn't understand half the memes or acronyms (especially all the Simpsons related) because apparently he's "Gen Z" and all the paper title is "Millennial" humour
He's only 2 years younger than me. Am I literally at the millennial - GenZ border ? Or the intern is out of touch ?7 -
Same sh*t different day. Let me play with my pet project! I know it does not earn me anything, but hey it will make millions in the future once it's done! I am sure! :D
2 -
time to go for full snack development
https://youtu.be/h8fh9R4401g
https://youtu.be/y4w5E8W2f0M
started some open source project for discord bot that provides info for some free game users, through scrapping forum and requesting apis
This is kind of going to be a major refactorized second version, that considers all mistakes of a first version. And going to be much more scalable and easy to maintain.
6 -
<"Perfect is enemy of good"
>"Excellent! I keep my enemies very close"
I do believe it possible that one can find at least one perfect counter to every stupid folk saying that startup-for-brains suit bags love to parrot.
2)
<"We must fail fast"
>"I already did it!"
3)
<"We must have a long tail of offerings"
>"Can we offer focus on our core strengths?"
-3)
<"We must focus on our core strengths"
>"Isn't our core strength 'having a long tail of offerings'?"
4)
<"We must use agile methods"
>"An agile habit does not make an agile monk."
5)
<"We must be flexible and adapt"
>"Is it a law or more of a rule of thumb?"
6)
<"We must avoid bureaucracy"
>"Can I have that in writing?"3 -
I’m sooo excited when any new frontend JS framework is available. Angular, React, more recently Vue, Svelte. Bring ‘em on. I wanna try them all.
Just kidding…
As long as the tools at hand allow me to get the job done, keep clients and end users happy, I don’t give a fuck.
This meme is actually the epitome of what I hate with a lot of web developers I’ve encountered
2 -
Dum acts, Every hacker scene in movies screen contains htop and cmatrix, even sometimes 'sudo apt update && upgrade ' is enough .
3 -
Coding the board software for a car while you drive it at 120 kmph can be called agile programming?1
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I just found another "npm install" meme in my Twitter feed. They don't seem to get old, ever.
And then I remember that Unity Package Manager is npm under the hood. I hope this is not the future of Unity packages.
https://twitter.com/ChrisArter/...1 -
why are you not using HTML5 to create your own super computers and AI's?
source: https://truckinginfo.com/330475/...
7 -
My first words to one fresh graduate , which just started his backend path:
Untested code is a garbage waiting to be collected. Even if some companies / teams somehow manage to do miracles and to work with untested code... that's just a pre-death fantasy of a dying man. -
Me: What algorithm prioritizes food no matter how you use it?
Coworker: Idk, never heard of that one.
Me: Bread-First-Search1 -
Some had teased me a bit on my previous meme so let me tell my anecdote...
I have to tell you a rather funny anecdote that happened to me during a job interview..
To put you in context, I am a front/back developer and the language where I perform best is JS. I started learning JS at an early age during an open source project to make animations on websites then I also quickly moved to the backend using NodeJS. I gained a lot of experience by going to small start-ups and this time if I wanted to try my luck on big companies in the field of video games.
So I wanted to present some projects to my interlocutor who seemed to be someone with an important position in the company, about 26 years old and we talked about the JS language. I showed him all my projects including those where I was doing free/open source and also in the field of video games such as volunteering like the back off https://mylolmmr.com And suddenly he called out to me and said "JS is not a real language".
I must confess that I was quite disturbed by his assertion and did not understand his condescension or his belittlement. This mind...
Especially since I find it extremely misleading to say that the JS language is not a real language when you know its advantages and disadvantages, but I did not dare to express myself on this subject and we continued the interviews, even though he saw that it bothered me.
The funny thing is that once the interview is over and I decide to go home and I receive a call from the company in question who wanted me to take a technical test telling me that the oral interview was successful...
I reassure you right away, I refused.. For a question of salary which was extremely low and obviously the bad experience with this famous director.
3 -
Had a sleep paralysis of Rick Flair's voice saying "ostentatious, yeeeah" over and over again slightly changing the tone like in that "Doctor Deuce dot com" meme https://yewtu.be/watch/...
fucking hell1 -
Sometimes I really don't know how else to put it lmao, I'm on the level of caffeine crash and overtiredness that I literally typed in "clear" to the Windows file save dialog. I swear Python has made me suffer for longer than Java has, and that says something. Help.
3 -
Years ago I made a meme about eating dogs.
My detractors have continued to hound me to this very day. -
I go to YouTube and I get recommended the same selection of videos almost everytime.
I made a joke about being a virgin on 9GAG, after that the first video recommended to me on YT is "Master of Virginity" by penguinz0 (MoistCritikal).
Is that how being spied on like ?1 -
Made fun of JavaScript and told millions why Python is better than all other languages on this fucking planet. But still...
8 -
How do you handle a colleague who just throws his/her work at you saying that he/she is able to implememt things at his/her side in meetings. And when you ask on personal he/she says not done yet !? Things getting delayed because of that and I don't know what to do ? can you give some advice.....1
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#Suphle Rant 6: Deptrac, phparkitect
This entry isn't necessarily a rant but a tale of victory. I'm no more as sad as I used to be. I don't work as hard as I used to, so lesser challenges to frustrate my life. On top of that, I'm not bitter about the pace of progress. I'm at a state of contentment regarding Suphle's release
An opportunity to gain publicity presented itself last month when cfp for a php event was announced last month. I submitted and reviewed a post introducing suphle to the community. In the post, I assured readers that I won't be changing anything soon ie the apis are cast in stone. Then php 7.4 officially "went out of circulation". It hit me that even though the code supports php 8 on paper, it's kind of a red herring that decorators don't use php 8 attributes. So I doubled down, suspending documentation.
The container won't support union and intersection types cuz I dislike the ambiguity. Enums can't be hydrated. So I refactored implementation and usages of decorators from interfaces to native attributes. Tried automating typing for all class properties but psalm is using docblocks instead of native typing. So I disabled it and am doing it by hand whenever something takes me to an unfixed class (difficulty: 1). But the good news is, we are php 8 compliant as anybody can ask for!
I decided to ride that wave and implement other things that have been bothering me:
1) 2 commands for automating project setup for collaborators and user facing developers (CHECK)
2) transferring some operations from runtime to compile/build TIME (CHECK)
3) re-attempt implementing container scopes
I tried automating Deptrac usage ie adding the newly created module to the list of regulated architectural layers but their config is in yaml, so I moved to phparkitect which uses php to set the rules. I still can't find a library for programmatically updating php filed/classes but this is more dynamic for me than yaml. I set out to implement their library, turns out the entire logic is dumped into the command class, so I can neither control it without the cli or automate tests to it. I take the command apart, connect it to suphle and run. Guess what, it detects class parents as violations to the rule. Wtflyingfuck?!
As if that's not bad enough, roadrunner (that old biatch!) server setup doesn't fail if an initialization script fails. If initialization script is moved to the application code itself, server setup crumbles and takes the your initialization stuff down with it. I ping the maintainer, rustacian (god bless his soul), who informs me point blank that what I'm trying to do is not possible. Fuck it. I have to write a wrapper command for sequentially starting the server (or not starting if initialization operations don't all succeed).
Legitimate case to reinvent the wheel. I restored my deleted decorators that did dependency sanitation for me at runtime. The remaining piece of the puzzle was a recursive film iterator to feed the decorators. I checked my file system reader for clues on how to implement one and boom! The one I'd written for two other features was compatible. All I had to do was refactor decorators into dependency rules, give them fancy interfaces for customising and filtering what classes each rule should actually evaluate. In a night's work (if you're discrediting how long writing the original sanitization decorators and directory iterator), I coupled the Deptrac/phparkitect library of my dreams. This is one of the those few times I feel like a supreme deity
Hope I can eat better and get some sleep. This meme is me after getting bounced by those three library rejections
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