Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

  • 80
    Marry her
  • 51
    @thijsvn I don't find marriage a useful construct, but I have been with her for over a decade 😊
  • 22
    @daegontaven I initially proposed, she said: "Nice, although I'd prefer hardware over spending our savings on an expensive marriage party". So I returned the ring, and bought her two GTX 280 cards.

    I value honesty in my relationships. I'm not poly amorous, but we have, in all honesty about intentions and feelings, had another girl involved at some point. My girlfriend liked her, I liked her... why not.

    I can imagine that people sometimes lie about their feelings and storm into a threesome without discussing their emotions truthfully. If that's the case... you only have yourself to blame I think. I couldn't imagine not being super fucking straightforward, the relationship would never survive long.
  • 17
    Por... documentaries hahahaha
  • 10
    @AlexDeLarge I don't speak German though. And I've never done WordPress development, so I'm not as scarred as you are. 😁
  • 4
    @Bitwise There's quite a spectrum of encounters possible between disassociated sex with a prostitute and passionate lovemaking with your soulmate though.
  • 2
    @Bitwise I thought they were interesting comments :)
  • 3
    @Bitwise its funny because it has actually worked in my favor rather than against it :P you can really play the sistem through it.
  • 2
    Awww that bit at the end
  • 2
    @Bitwise derailing this thread even further: what kind of aircraft have you worked on? (3rd yeah aerospace engineering here, and working on a small plane :D)
  • 9
    @Bitwise Possible... Although I would hope that in 2017, people in our industry have moved past most forms of prejudice.

    I've seen my boss dancing with glowsticks on 300µg of LSD, and giving a presentation in a suit in front of our prime minister. I've worked with female, black, trans and gay developers, some of which were total cunts, some so awesome I idolize them. Sex workers range from abused trafficked slaves to classy refined entrepeneurs.

    Relationships can be purely romantic, purely sexual, purely intellectual, continuously flirty, for companionship, or lie on any point within the many dimensions that relationships are defined by.

    You always have relationships with many people at the same time, maybe life long, slowly changing or quickly fleeting.

    Nothing is ever simple as simple as it seems, nothing is straightforward. But I do find that quality of life springs forth from communicating your thoughts and feelings, as straightforward as possible, with your loved ones.
  • 4
    @Bitwise I don't know if above comment makes much sense.

    What I mean is that most people are not definable in one word or even sentence, and are usually a complex mosaic of traits and relations.

    So I find it difficult to judge someone based on a single trait.

    My girlfriend is my wife (even though we're not married), but also a great buddy, a bit neurotic and damaged, interesting to talk with, etc. I've been her psychologist and motivator, but she has taught me structure and social skills. We will probably get kids one day.

    That network of relational links is pretty intense, but not necessarily complete. It doesn't have to be, but I also don't think it would be healthy to "claim a person". She connects with others about things I find uninteresting, and vice versa, through friendships which play out on various levels.
  • 1
    @Bitwise Cool we have an employer in common. I did a job regarding QA software in aerospace ;)
  • 2
    @Bitwise holy shit! That is quite the list, that's awesome!
    I'm focusing on propulsion mostly, and if I'll have half the fun (I assume) you've had, I'm gonna call myself happy about that! :D
  • 1
    @masterdoctor Back then, 2x GTX280 in SLI was very good, with a price tag of around €1200, same as the engagement ring.
  • 2
    @masterdoctor We still have the graphics cards btw, our names engraved in the heatsinks.
  • 3
    +1 for correctly identifying the real problem with PHP
  • 1
    Girlfriend! = lamer
  • 2
    @Bitwise really looking forward to it! (The fun, not the burnout xD)
  • 1
    @Bitwise huh, interesting, I'd have expected something more for a mechanic with that kind of experience :/
    Then again, I suppose most of the money is inside the big companies that design and build stuff from the ground up, isn't it? Ever worked at one of those?

    Also, any experience with the russians? I've always had a soft spot for their crazy designs (Sukhoi in the <3)
  • 3
    BTW , Porn is actually a nature documentary
  • 4
    Thanks for the ++, Mr Assembly @noop
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