today my (ex) gf admitted she cheated on me for the past 2 years. February 2023 june 2023 in hotel twice fucked by some guy. 21 november 2022 it all started. 16 december 2022 other guy. 2 weeks ago on my birthday 9th may, she fucked that same guy and said he snorts cocaine before fucking and she finds that attractive...... Says he mostly cums in her mouth and all the details possible

I am beyond loss of words and disgust. I want to just vomit. Im in way too deep shock to be able to feel anything

Sounds like a keeper

@ars1 totallii, she has a great memory

@b2plane you should question yourself why she tells all that. What does she have to gain with that. It kinda seems that she wants to hurt you

@retoor i asked for details so before fucking her off my soul can be at peace and not being shattered by constant curiousity

And this, kids, is why my wife and I are polyamorous. Sooner or later, everyone wants to fuck around, and we don't want this biological quirk to ruin what we spent so much time and effort building.

Yes, YOU can fuck my wife and I won't be jealous, just like you can fuck me without my wife being jealous.

It also helps that we're both pansexual

Monogamy was invented by insecure, small dick male supremacy bigots who had power via the corrupt church of the time. Polygamy is the natural order of life.

@kiki
> Sooner or later, everyone wants to fuck around

That's just not true, different strokes for different folks. Lets not pretend we're all adicted to sex and need to fuck people left and right for new highs.

@Hazarth I don't need freedom of love because I have no one to love, I don't need freedom of speech because I have nothing to say. Even if you want to sleep with no one else but your wife, why limit what she can and cannot do? Why enforce that on her? Sex is not that important, so let's not allow random sex to ruin families.

@kiki I don't tell you how to live your life, so don't tell me how to live mine. You're advocating for degeneracy and hey, you can do that, free speech and all, but I disagree with your rhethoric. If birth control wasnt a thing, polygamy would be a huge problem for our society. It's like you're a vegan taking supplements, yet still advocating how super healthy being a vegan is. We're not a Tribe in a forrest anymore

@Hazarth I don't need to argue with you. I already made a person who's in between relationships consider going polyamorous, or at least remember that this is an option, with my own long-term happy relationship as an example. I made you remember that too. My mission is accomplished :D

To anyone else, don't hesitate to ask questions about how our relationship work, I'll answer all I can

@kiki pinguïns are monogamous. Is that because insecure penguins?

I prefer monogamy because the sex is best with the one you love. I rarely had good hookup sex

@kiki had to Google pansexual. Not as shocking as expected

@kiki I don't need to argue either, I can leave the arguing to researchers.

Check out the paper "Are We Monogamous? A Review of the Evolution of Pair-Bonding in Humans and Its Contemporary Variation Cross-Culturally"

The conclusion is that humans are historically mostly monogamous and dozen of evolutionary traits we posses or lost suggest that while our ape ancestors were not exclusively monogamous, we evolved to be, which gave us an edge (I mean look at how many of us are there :), clearly its working )... While there sometimes are cultures who are polyandrous or polygynous, the predominant strategy is monogamy.

It may work for you, Let's be honest here, you're the odd one out, but for many others it might only lead to pain or at best lost time "playing around" during their peak age.

So do what you will with that information. If you're lucky you wont coerce many people into relationships that will cause suffering to them or other, but that's on you if it does :)

@Hazarth ah, yes, the research.

Polygamy may or may not cause suffering, just like monogamy. About coercion, well, people are being coerced into monogamy en masse by traditionally monogamous societies.

About trying to back monogamy up with the evolution argument, let me answer you with your own words: “We're not a Tribe in a forrest anymore” :D

Anyway, @b2plane, remember that polyamorous relationship is a viable alternative, no matter what society tells you. It is easier to find a polyamorous gf than to ask your existing gf about your desire to try polygamy, so you have an advantage already. Polygamy gives you more freedom. It works for us and many more.

@kiki what if one of the partners find hookups and the other don't? Can't imagine it's fun that way

@retoor I can be a hermit in my home without going outside for weeks. But if you tell me I'm under house arrest, I will immediately want to leave. Merely knowing that you can find a hookup at any moment without bullshit repercussions changes everything.

Relationship is not a competition.

@fruitfcker no cumming on the wedding ring

@retoor Yes, nothing to do with pans apparently. Or goats.

@donkulator question for you to figure out: what's the difference between a pansexual and a bisexual?

@retoor If you're one of those people who don't believe the set of genders is isomorphic to Z/2Z then the "bi" part doesn't make sense.

@fruitfcker we have a ritual of touching each other's noses in a cute way, this is very personal and very important to us. We agreed to never do that to anyone else. Other than that, there are no limitations

@kiki Is "touching each other's noses" a euphemism?

@donkulator no, I mean literally. You touch the tip of their nose with your finger

@kiki I was poly for a number of years but now I'm with a dude who would be absolutely heartbroken if I ever cheated on him and I don't think I'm missing anything. I respect him and it makes me happy to make him happy

hmm maybe that's hard to explain

but for him I know it's genuine he only sees me
and I respect that. like it's very real for him. it would break my heart to violate it, it's like a bond or something

so I don't think it's universal that all humans want to be poly

@retoor basically what happened when I was poly. I'm basically asexual so I was like hey maybe they should fuck other people. instead I was with like 5 dudes and they were all just with me. this is now a gangbang.

not only that a lot of them suffered it seemed. so it was pretty unfun. because I have empathy

so much for solving my problem!

@kiki maybe polyamory is a cope to you feeling insecure in your environment being permissive to your actions

since I don't think all monogamy is gonna be from insecurity and that's such a wild statement to say

and because you have reactance to want to cheat if you were monogamous
which would be you feel your autonomy threatened
and feeling something is threatened, specifically when it isn't relevant, is classified as the neurosis of insecurity... where you see your fear in situations that it doesn't even apply to. like not caring to cheat but if you know you can't sleep with other people then you suddenly want to