I'm working on a bug I can't figure out. I go out for a smoke to clear my mind. Some time passes, I get an idea, finish smoking and I wanna go back up to my desk ASAP.

I have to go up to floor 14. Building has a basic elevator with 2 buttons:
UP arrow - "I wanna go up"
DOWN arrow - "I wanna go down"

User-friendly, intuitive, idiot-proof, you might think. NOPE.

Elevator stops at floor 1 because moron who wants to go down pressed all 2 of the over-intuitive buttons.
Floor 1 moron: "Going up?"
Other people: "Yes"
Floor 1 moron: "Oh"
Me (in my mind): "Oh? BITCH, there's an idicator telling you where it's going. Don't fucking press UP if you're not going up."
Moving on.

Elevator stops at floor 3.
Frustration sets in.
Floor 3 brainlet steps in, doors close.
Floor 3 brainlet takes eyes off phone screen and realises we're going up.
Floor 3 brainlet makes an "oops" kinda noise because "it" obviously wanted to go down.
Floor 3 brainlet stops elevator at floor 5 because "it" doesn't want to go all the way up to floor 14.
Rage sets in.
Me (in my mind): "I hope I get lung cancer so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore"
Moving on.

No more incidents, I calm down. I get to my desk and begin brainstorming about elevator coding. My preferred idea so far:

Elevator is called at floor X but nobody steps in? Elevator doesn't stop at that floor for 2 hours. elevators.size() strikes and the entire floor uses stairs, BITCH.

I spend 1 hour reading rants and writing this. Now I have to get back to my bug. I would appreciate other punishment ideas for elevator misuse.

  • 1
    Oh, fuck. People that push both elevator buttons. That fucking people. Seriously, why is it that hard for people to understand?

    You want to go down? Press down. You want to go up? Press up. It's that fucking simple. If you want to go down, press both buttons and the elevator stops in your floor while going up, you're not going to board it anyway! Why bother pressing the up button then???
  • 0
    Simple solution: Up/down call buttons are toggles. You push the wrong one? Push it again. Each elevator polls its up/down indicators to see if it should stop at a particular floor prior to passing it.

    Both call and level buttons should push their status onto a queue, and the elevator should do them in order, plus stopping at any in-between floors if they're on the way.

    Better elevator behavior.
    Hundreds lines of code or less.
  • 0
    Punishments? Hard to pin to an individual user. If you could: odor dispensers and keep the door closed for an extra 30 seconds.
  • 0
    @Root Efficiency or effectiveness is not my goal. There's no need to pinpoint an individual user. The entire floor is acceptable collateral when the goal is retribution.
  • 0
    @Root hundred* stupid autocorrect.
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