86
Condor
6y

Random person: wanna get a girlfriend? Shave your beard.

sysadmin@condor:~# no.
sysadmin@condor:~# FUCK NO.
sysadmin@condor:~# What are those muggles even thinking?!!
sysadmin@condor:~# Would you also ask Khal Drogo to cut off his ponytail?!

Comments
  • 22
    How dare they!
    A mans beard is a sacred thing...

    Also what sort of advice is that?!
    My fiance says she hated my beard but constantly rubs it and has had a mini freak out whenever I do shave it even slightly...
  • 8
    @irene perhaps the random person I spoke to doesn't know science ¯\_(ใƒ„)_/¯ to be honest, it wouldn't surprise me anymore at this point.
  • 8
    @irene "but but I'm an insecure soyboy and 3rd wave feminists apparently love it when men dress their hair like a woman!! All I have left to do is cutting off my testicles and then maybe I can get into their pants!"
  • 4
    @irene @Condor I feel personally attacked...
  • 3
    @lxmcf hmm ๐Ÿค” styles differ I guess. But buns? I mean I can get a little mafia tail but buns seem so strange - I can't even imagine that to be part of a man's attire.
  • 3
    @irene I have a man bun haha

    However I am far from a soy boy so forgive me for my sin
  • 5
    @lxmcf presence of a beard evens it out I guess ๐Ÿ™ƒ
  • 2
    (โ˜žโŒโ– _โ– )โ˜ž @Condor
  • 4
    Now that I'm being bald on top, the beard doesn't make sense anymore -- WHERE DOES IT NEED TO STOP!?!!1! haha :p
  • 1
    @irene I digress, it doesn't make sense to me, on me :P Maybe tho, but when I shave, I just go all'round (...the facial region yo [I added that for the filthy bastards haha])
  • 2
    @rutee07 Whaaaaa... k :P So... now, you miss one fleshlight? (You could use the fleshlight as a holding-cup for the dildo ( อก° อœส– อก°) )
  • 2
    @rutee07 Aah yes, a bit of action in ~~ Omelet du Fromage "Toy Story"-style ~~ xD
  • 2
    >@irene But science says that beard is actually a sign of masculinity and invokes subconscious response
    Only if done properly. You have to take care of your beard. Like trimming it regularly, beard oil, etc.
    Do not just let it grow until it is a bush.
  • 1
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- hmm, should I really trim it? It stifles growth tbh ๐Ÿ˜•
  • 3
    @rutee07 pardon me, I lost you.. How exactly a man's beard reminded you of your dildo and fleshlight? Made me curious
  • 1
    @rutee07 oh, got it. Tx
  • 3
    So I have beard and long hair. I can get a good 10 inch ponytail going right now. Is it bad that I put it in a quick bun for stuff like eating and when it's too hot?
  • 0
    @Condor it stifles it, but it increments the growth rate. It is not a big deal.
  • 3
    @hackedranger actually after curiously looking for how a bun and a beard look, I found it quite handsome. It's just that I've never seen it before - maybe it's just not very common here in Belgium. Please forgive my previous comments on it.
  • 3
    @xewl beard ends where your hypothetical sideburns would begin duh
  • 2
    @jeeper yeah, but it's a very harsh start, very 0/1
  • 3
    1) There are girls who like beards.
    2) If you still shave yourself because of this shitty advice, you probably make yourself feel uncomfortable and may end up with less self-esteem which is a key ingredient to finding a gf.
  • 0
    Tip for him: selfcuttimg hair with an hot sword save money in the long run.
  • 1
    @xewl search it a bit. Some folks do a hard transition, some fade
  • 2
    @stop hm?
    @jeeper personally I have a very pronounced difference between beard and head hair, but meh. Head hairs and beard hairs are different ones, right? And most of the time you'd keep them at different lengths anyway, only depending on what looks best in your case :D
  • 1
    @Condor think about the follpwing situation:
    an idiot tries to cut his hair with an heavy long hot object.
    1. he looks terrible
    2. every sane person will avoid him.
    3. he could kill himself.
  • 2
    @stop oh, I see now! Well that person might as well jam the heated sword a bit deeper into their flesh for suggesting me to cut my beard ๐Ÿ™ƒ
  • 2
    @Condor For me, the difference between "free growing" and "lightly trimming beard & shaving fuzzy cheeks/neck" is a the difference between organ harvesting hobo and sophisticated man in charge of the cave fire.

    "Women like x" is a myth though, there are no homogenous groups. It's all about target audience and probabilities. There are unicorn hippie girls who love unkempt beards with chunks of tofu in it, but that's like 3% of all fish in the sea — a little bit of a trim might include a larger group of beard-loving ladies.
  • 2
    @bittersweet hmm, guess I'll trim it again then ๐Ÿค” thanks for the input!
  • 2
    @irene Also science says that many women subconsiously like men that have some slightly female facial aspects. They think those men would be more loyal to them because they don‘t attract other women as much. Ironically because of this fact that thought is invalid.
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