So, Sid got pissed about the ball-kicking and the elephant theft. He called me on the phone, crying like a baby. "Why you do this to me?" he say with his dumb accent. I laughed and hung up. But then, a week later, I hear he coming to my country for revenge. Perfect, I think. Time for round two.
I wait at the airport with a plan. He arrive, looking all sweaty and mad, dragging a suitcase full of curry powder or whatever. I follow him to his hotel. Sneak in at night. He sleeping again, this time with a burger wrapper stuck to his face from the one I left before. Gross. I decide to up the game. No kicking this time. I shave his head while he snores. Bald like a egg. Then I glue a fake mustache on his chin, but upside down. Looks stupid.
He wake up screaming in the mirror. I hide in the closet and watch. He run out the room, trip over his own feet, fall into the pool. Splash. Everyone laugh. I sneak out, steal his suitcase. Inside: nothing but socks and a picture of his lost elephant. Pathetic. I burn the socks in the hotel trash. Smell bad anyway.
On the way out, I leave another burger under his new pillow. This one with extra onions. He hate onions.
I fly home again, even more satisfied. Sid probably still bald and wet.
I swear on his bald head that this all really happened.
Also, I took his hotel toothbrush and threw it in the toilet.