A recruiter called me today. I had to barracade myself in the laundry room to hear him, and still needed to ask him to repeat himself 7-8 times. he spoke at what must have been 15% volume with a super thick Indian accent. He also couldn't pronounce a full third of the terms.

Here's how it went.

recruiter: you full-stack dev? what experience?
me: yes, about 8 years, maybe 10.
recruiter: you know C#?
me: no.
recruiter: you know java? tomcat? spring?
me: no, I don't know Java.
recruiter: you know react? angular? apache? node?xml? json? html?
me: yes. yes, angular 1. yes, yes, ...
recruiter: ok, i email you java job posting
me: I don't know java.
recruiter: ok, i email you.

Recruiter used "email java job posting." It wasn't very effective.
Recruiter moves quickly! Recruiter used "did you get my email? email" immediately after. It was super effective! @Root becomes angered!

Recruiter calls.
Recruiter calls.
@Root becomes enraged!

Recruiter calls.
recruiter: what [???] [?] [???] [??] java [???] [??] [???] okay
recruiter: You know C#?
me: No, I still don't know C#.
recruiter: ok thank you for time. 😑 *click*

What just happened?
I really don't understand their species.

  • 61
    Are you certain you don't know Java? πŸ€” He seemed pretty convinced that you do.
  • 13
    @Elyz πŸ˜…
    !(public static boolean (that) => { return assert(Java === that) })(this)
  • 12
    Same thing happened to me with a major tech temp agency based in the US. Apparently, if you can bang on a keyboard in any type of code, then you must know Java.
  • 19
    This reminds me of that one weird video that went like:

    Reporter: 'Why are you gay?'

    Woman: 'Who says I'm gay?'

    Repprter: 'You are gay'
  • 8
    I just usually say "yes" to all the dumb ass 'requirements' and see it where it takes me. That's how I landed my past 2 jobs.
  • 3

    Never said there weren't any. I had a ton of embarrassing interviews due to the lack of knowledge. Regardless, helped built up my confidence and improve anxiety.
  • 5
    Halo but do you know see sharp, what experiyence
  • 6
    Well @Root, it's nice to meet a fellow Java programmer. 😁
  • 6

    It's all good.

    Some job interviews that specify "5 yrs experience in X" are sometimes BS to deter lesser experienced applicants. For example, when I applied to my current job, one of the requirements were 3 ~ 5 years relevant experience in graphics programming ( I had zero). Turns out the technical interview was just OOP, C++, and C related questions, i.e. "create a byte pointer array in C," "what are abstract/derived classes?," and "given this draw function in OpenGL, draw a triangle", etc.
  • 1
    Take the phone ...



    In canada thx
  • 1
    Vaco and RHT has some good recruiters in the US, if you're here and interested
  • 7
    @jak645 I live in the states, so.

    But Indian recruiters are surprisingly common here; no idea why. And they all have super thick accents. It's weird.
  • 0
    @Root if i cannot understand my Superior what is the point of the job XD ahahaha
  • 1
    @Root There are recruiting companies that take money from companies just to give them a list of potential candidates. the deal is probably 10 candidates. once they have enough, say 8, they just add 2 more candidates who may be ineligible for the role, but is willing to apply.
  • 2
    @monzrmango Maybe I should start writing job applications …
  • 9
    @kalippu So they intentionally do a crappy job?
    Fuck them with a rake.
  • 3
    Use a D&D dice and answer accordingly
  • 1
    @Chrupiter Dice is the plural form of die, often incorrectly used as singular as well...

    (Sorry, couldn't resist)
  • 1
    @TempestasLudi If you look up dice in the Oxford Dictionary, you will notice that dice is an acceptable singular and plural form of die.

    English is not my native language btw.
  • 0
    @Chrupiter Rest assured, it's not mine either.
    And I'm afraid you are right. Forget I said anything.
  • 4
    @TempestasLudi It might be accepted, but it's still annoying
  • 1
    @Root Yes. But that's more the problem of those who get annoyed than anybody else's :P
  • 2
    honestly, showing to know how DnD works would give bonus points if I had to recruit you. If you can understand DnD you can probably read documentations
  • 1
    I'm curious about the term called "thick indian accent". How does that sounds?
  • 3
    @scorpionk Probably like your accent. πŸ˜‰
  • 0
    @Root Is thick indian accent hard to understand? Well, I want to improve myself, so non indians can understand my english πŸ˜…
  • 2
    @scorpionk It is at 15% volume over a crappy connection.
  • 0
    @smb26 Yup. You are correct about the speed. My PM is from Stamford. Whenever we have sprint retrospect, I always talk with less speed, so they can understand. πŸ˜…
  • 3
    What kills me is that an Indian (or any other english-as-a-second-language) individual has a better grasp on the English syntax than I do (from the American south, y'all). The accents make it difficult.

    Even talking to someone from say Boston is hard to understand.
  • 1
    @alexbrooklyn I see. You're a man of culture, as well
  • 3
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- and @alexbrooklyn , do you perform the natural obligations? πŸ˜‚
  • 1
    @bioDan PEPE OM ZIMA!!!
    Before you go AH do you recognize these things AH?!
  • 1
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- why do u recruit young boys?
  • 2
    @bioDan @-ANGRY-CLIENT- what? I am so lost.
  • 2
    @Root its just a mock about an Ugandan news network host interviewing a gay-rights activist, i apologize for the thread hijack.

    The host is very sexist, straightforward and childish. I do not encourage this behaviour but it made me laugh.

    Everything will make sense after you watch the video:

  • 1
    You actually speak to recruiters? I consider that stuff spam…

    Am I a bad person?
  • 3
    @devios1 It basically is...
  • 1
    dont respond to indian recs tbh....
  • 0
    in my experience half of indian devs are brilliant in the fundamentals.

    And the other half are corrupt incompetent cunts.
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