Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.

  • 3
    meh, it happens 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Good to c your around still to talk about it though.
  • 3
    Learn any technical skills in meantime.
    Thst will be for you in personal and confidence level.
  • 6
    Hang in there.

    Take baby steps.
    - take a walk
    - talk to people (like in a cafe)
    - get a job where you talk to people like Starbucks or a be a waiter
    - do some community work
    - main thing is be around people

    Limit online (Facebook Twitter and stuff like that)

    You will be fine. Everyone goes through this.
  • 5
    Depression steals life, so we have steal it back. December through March are my worst months, and it really is a struggle, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train, fortunately. Things do improve. I've survived decades with depression. I know it's a pat phrase, but stick in there, because there are good things out there, even if our sight becomes so dark at times, that we can't see it, but they are there, and we can beat this soul-darkness.
  • 4
    This is not a failure. This is you moving forward. 😊

    Including myself, I know people who have been at best unhappy down to heavily depressed due to all kinds of reasons. I'm not sure what's going on in your situation, but one common part of our depressions was that it helped to really find out what gives us energy. At this time that's probably nothing. I understand that. But really, what is your biggest dream? What would be the first trivial step towards that?

    Just 'being not depressed' or 'being happy' doesn't count! Everybody gets unhappy every now and then, everybody has stress. It's a matter of dealing with it, cutting yourself some slack, recovering after stress, etc. to be able to handle it.

    Want to become a pro? Accept that you're a noob! Almost everybody is. However, if you know what drives you, you might just excel at your noobness, which others might see as pro.

    Take care.
  • 0
    @iAmNaN May I ask why they are the worse? Mostly curiosity though. I heard about thing called seasonal affective disorder and since you mentioned a specific season, winter time, which is also the worst in general because less light and sun exposure, temperature drops so you're less likely to go out and so on, I also read that scandinavians get more depressed because of this thing, more or less...
  • 0
    @eeee I have something to think upon...

    I am very academical in nature. I do love my major, I felt like home when I stepped in first. Worst thing: seriously, ADHD, wtf. I tried some of that self help stuff to go through. But focus doesn't work anyway. Tried medication too, but here you have only two options to choose from and if they don't work you're basically fucked.

    I don't know if dropping is a bit like letting my illness win or if this pause can be productive (also having the option not to start in in second semester would be good.....meaning, next academic year I could start right avoiding to be "late" and having to).
  • 0
    Keep on going. I'm also struggling very much right now. You're not in this alone.
  • 1
    FX [ Hugs. ]
  • 0
    Dont worry, i was in a similar situation (depression anxiety etc). I stayed in college for like 10+ years (lol). I finished it eventually.

    I wanted to quit after like 3-4 years, but theres this retarded rule that if you quit, you cant continue the education at a later time, which i wanted to do (wtf are they retarded or what, this caused me so much dispair).

    Anyways, dont worry, even though i was waaaay late, i saw that most other ppl around me didnt do anything with their lives in the meanwhile, so im not really behind. During that time i learned some programming and how to deal with depression and bad things in life, so im set for the future (while others yet have to face such hardships and learn how to deal with them).
  • 1
    Do small things that make you feel better (eat, shower, take a walk to the store, slowly fix sleeping schedule, ...). See a psychiatrist/psychologist until you figure out how to deal with it. Get medication + talk therapy + do things to improve your situation - it helped me get out of the downwards spiral enough for me to learn how to deal with it.

    What helped me is to recognize it when it starts happening and stopping myself from doing things that make it worse. Also realizing that when youre feeling bad, its ok, it will get better. Theres bad and ok times, its normal. Baby steps, it will add up eventually.

    Remember, it will get better.
  • 0
    Oh didnt read the comments. Dunno about ADHD, i dont have experience and knowledge about that.

    What helped a friend (and me) is when she realized theres someone with similar problems that has gone trough most of it, and that it can be dealt with and "beaten" if you learn how (i told her my example and how it went for me). She was relieved and after some years, shes better now. So dont worry, theres tons of ppl around you having same problems, you can do it. :)
  • 1
    @keksprache yes, exactly, it has to do with Winter. Not sure if it's genetic, because I'm in Texas (chilly, wet, and dreary today), but my mom is German, descended from a Junker family that came from Swedish Pommern, and Sweden before that.
  • 2
    @keksprache sounds like you know what you like. This is very good! Your academic nature should be nurtured by yourself and maybe some teachers / professors. If you can, talk to some of them about it. Admit that you have been having difficulties studying, but that you like what your studying. Maybe they can find you a side job, or an early research spot?
  • 1
    @keksprache I swear you sound like me 10 years ago. I didn't try any meds though, at least not in prescription form, ADD wasn't a well discussed topic where I'm from and it was only after I had already blown my scholarship, self-sabotaged my military career and dropped out of school twice that I discovered there was something that would possibly fix me. This however was a third substance that you didn't mention, most likely because it only comes off the street and its highly addictive. This habit of course eventually led to a felony and a trip to rehab, but ironically not before I had already kicked it and somewhat got my life back on track. I used weed to kick though and when everything came down on my head I failed a u.a. and treatment was a condition for my bond. They put me on probation for 5 years and I started back on the same cycle that I had been on before, school every other semester, diff. job every 2 or 3 months, struggles with alcoholism, etc etc....
  • 2
    @keksprache long story short its been about 5 years since I got off. I've had two jobs for over a year and a half a piece (relocated for a better opportunity). And had, past-tense, a relationship for about 4 of those. She left a year or so into me starting my to do my own work. That has had its own ups and downs of course but I'm still at it after 3 years. It took finding a balance in things, making sure I left ample time to relax and not have to run around all the time. I had to cut out my weekends with the guard to do so and start educating myself through the internet rather than the university, but it's been worth it in the end. Things are much more peaceful now and dark thoughts rarely ever find their way in. Also not having to take a u.a. helps, at least if you happen to live in a conservative state 🙃
  • 0
    @keksprache I feel like I should probably add this in, none of that was to say you should not take your doctors advice, just that the stuff they give you will make you think you can just go all the time and if you have the hyperactive kind of add, the meds they prescribe help but the also can lead to severe anxiety and a similar pattern. You can space your days out and avoid them in the evening and on the weekends though if you work on keeping a reasonable schedule. You just have to stay mindful of the fact that your not superman. They're also now studying the affects of cbd on the condition, so hopefully soon enough there will be a third option to get from the doctor that doesn't cause one to have that idiotic notion in the first place 🙄
  • 1
    One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
    And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all
    Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall

    All what your described sounds like one of my sons.
  • 0
    @iAmNaN haha, yea there are some that would consider us to be entirely bonkers 🎩:)
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