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Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.14
I finally joined uni. With all of its fucking bureaucracy. But I love the feel I get being there with people I know wants same stuff as mine. I picked Math.
It's equally ambitious and crazy as 1) My previous school didn't prepare me at all, (not even limits for fuck's sake) 2) it has given me an antidepressant boost, but I'm also a person that yes goes on anyway but at the first difficulty I second guess my own ability in first place to overcome what's ahead (so, depressive rebound). 3) I have dyscalculia and adhd. Lucky me, not the kind of dyscalculia that makes you unable to grasp logic, it's more like I can't do calculations in my head and 8x7 is HARDER to me than explain graph theory or some stuff about riemannian geometry.
What did you all feel when you went to university? Because I'm feeling a lot ignorant, but worse, stupid, very stupid.
Not a dev!rant,/but certainly a rant. Long post ahead.
First of all I MISSED YOU ALL
Had my fair issues of shit these months. And for that, FUCK EVERYTHING. End of rant for now. I am still managing somehow to do - slowly as fuck, but who cares at this point - like finally going to uni, finding a psychologist and not a psycho, unraveling a fuckton of previous trauma (hi abuse) and ~drums~ buying my new desktop! Not exactly a nasa server but a middish level workstation/gaming place. I am shopping right now. The previous days have been shaky with all the flashback business and emotional rollercoaster of death, but I feel like going the right way somehow. Is it true? Who knows! But after enduring several issues of suicide planning and luckily only one serious-bugged attempt epically hilariously failed, the slightest hope is a victory. I like p2p, so feel free to torrent and seed this little joy. If it is mine it can be yours. Take it!
Also, you know how much autistic I am, but I'd really like to make some friends. I make attempts but honestly I am awkward errrr.... I don't know how many dude/ttes I can count on. For friend I mean simply someone that honestly likes me somehow, is loyal, and has interest in sharing they like to do or think! (And if they want to give me tips on security/sysadmin/dev stuff, even better, but not required obviously).
Also, I may have some projects in mind. Will publish in the projects section when the roughest idea is finished.
Maybe I deserve an updoot. In real life.
(Which is also here....)
I feel very sad because breakup.
Would like some updoots to make my avatar nicer or video of kittens.
Or just hugs.6
PISS ON YOUR PANTS BOSS
PISS ON WORDPRESS TOO
GO EAT A TUPLE OF ASS SINGING SPOILED FOODS YOU SPOILED LITTLE KID
GO BANANAS AND EXILE YOURSELF TO OBLIVION3
Here at the end of high school they make you create a sort of mini-thesis and/or a conceptual map. I found mine in midst of full blown bedroom chaos, dated one year ago (it's in italian because I am italian but you can definitely ask for translation). I got that fucking diploma despite all the issues I had and still have. Fuck 'em.4
I. HATE. DELL. WITH. MY. GUTS.
Their low tiers products are full black plastic overpriced fuckshit, if you press too much the cover you can actually destroy your display. Fuck shitty laptops and fuck this shitty laptop in particular. It's slow. It's so slooooooow. It's everflying fucking slow motion, being on the web is like being in the matrix while dodging bullets made of wordpress plugins. The only good thing I can say is that is living right now, it has been... Three years? I only picked it because of high discount and ubuntu preinstalled (that made me think: oh, maybe they have components that are linux compatible regardless of distros. It was not). I'm enjoying Manjaro, when I'll have the skillz i'm going full Arch.
I will start university this fall. It's going to be a math major. I absolutely need something better than this anyway. I am also freaking out because I don't know which genre of software they could want to make me install and if they're windows/mac only. In the meanwhile I do photography, video, design and as you may suppose Adobe is often my go-to; I also have to build a workstation at home. I am freaking out because WELL FUCK WINDOWS 10 AND ITS PRIVACY NIGHTMARE PERIOD.
Which laptop I buy?
How well does heavy software run in a Windows virtual machine (on the desktop, not the laptop)?10
Ok, you have ranted majestically about the horrific tech stacks you hate. Now I ask all of you, which stack would you like instead?4
I have a problem. I can't do anything.
I can't really get started with the new path of software development. I have lots of stuff (like *tidying the room* or *exercise* or something good for my life) do but in the end all the things I have to do are tangled up. So learning usually gets in the pile of tangled up shit.
I try to use organisational tools. But my focus is zero.
Mental health issues don't help.
I think I would put at good use a few coding buddies, mentors, whatever... Self paced courses dont work for me. Bonus point of notgettingshitdone if online course.
I have low self esteem and I'm not trying to hide it.
I hate myself to the fucking core.7
OH GOD I HAVE AN INTERVIEW FOR A JUNIOR SOFTWARE DEVELOPER POSITION ON THURSDAY
IN A COUNTRY THAT APPARENTLY HAS LESS JUNIOR DEVS POSITIONS THAN PRESIDENTS
WTF I DO THIS IS MY FIRST JOB INTERVIEW18
That moment when you get started as a junior frontend and end up having to design a couple databases. I dont know shit about that. 😱 also in between I happen to become sort of unofficial IT staff in this music school. I'm confused. Not a proper rant, but just wtf? At least I'm getting money... someday. Maybe. 😲
At least I'll have my voice and piano lessons covered. 🌟2
I swear, I swear this is going to be the last (the best, also, but mostly the last) webdev gig I'm gonna do. SO. FED. UP.
When I end this, I have one month I want to spend in refining some other tech related skill. The main two points needed: a decent pay, a fair amount of free time (I have to study along that: math major, my singing/piano/maybe other stuff too during the year). What do you suggest? Linux sysadmin is a thing I can reasonably become in that windows of time or at least compatible with my needs? Because it catchs my eye. 😵
I HATE THIS SLOWLY FUCKASS CHEAPIE COMPUTER IT'S SO SLOWWWWW
I can't focus and actually do antything you nasty typerfucker son of a breach and I have to do CSS with the biggest headache ever holy fucking adamantine shitty shit
Hello! My dad handed to me a pair of unused Sony Xperia SP. I want to put them on a paranoid-setup. Which custom roms do you suggest? Good apps are appreciated too!11
Today, my fellows not a rant, but a glimp of blissfully sent client from heaven. Doesn't complain at all. He is not a fuckin jerk, he just trusts my judgment both in code and looks. No one will ask me to adjust some petty thing for some obscure mental fixations! Join me in this party!4
Founding an international organisation to teach code in organised focus groups with little or no fees, with various paths3
Which is a good platform for dedicated servers, privacy-wise, and if possible (but it's not my primary goal) not too heavy on my wallet? I'm finding it hard to find something reliable that won't hand out my ass data to the first cop it sees. Which are the best companies? Also, since it would be my first time, how I recognise a bad service?1
Hello World! First post here. I'm literally done with frontend stuff. I want to design code, not to code design. Unless it's Processing. I find it cute. So.. I have a somewhat handy grasp on C++ because of a class in electronics course, Python seems quite easy to catch. I'm totally new to programming. I'd like to get into software, game development and android development (but I would like to do things cross-platform).
Which paths, resources, languages, useful books, videos, or just anything would you recommend?
To be fair, I have no coding friends so mentorship or simply finding code buddies would be great. 💜7