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Search - "anxiety"
I've always hated Omegle, but my online friend forced me to do it, since she thinks it will help my social anxiety.
I had to send her screenshots as proof.
As much as I didn't want to, I had no choice. I was too scared to do the video chatting so I did the text chat instead. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Just programming, you?
Stranger: ur a programmer?
Me: Yes :)
*Stranger has disconnected.*104
Is devRant Just for rants?
I see such a Great community here that goes way beyond complaining about PMs and users (even though you're all right, usually). I've read comments about support for depression, Anxiety, people being supportive of woman and downvoting/commenting against the common sexism that we see on the internet every single day. We have fun, we all feel like friends even though we can remember only a few names and stumble uppon them once in a while. We mostly understand each other and it all feels like a huge family. It's a Great thing to help throughout all of the struggles I have daily in Life, and I bet many people here feel the same.
Thank you all so much for making devRant this Great community. Papa bless.13
This rant is a confession I had to make, for all of you out there having a bad time (or year), this story is for you.
Last year, I joined devRant and after a month, I was hired at a local company as an IT god (just joking but not far from what they expected from me), developer, web admin, printer configurator (of course) and all that in my country it's just called "the tech guy", as some of you may know.
I wasn't in immediate need for a full-time job, I had already started to work as a freelancer then and I was doing pretty good. But, you know how it goes, you can always aim for more and that's what I did.
The workspace was the usual, two rooms, one for us employees and one for the bosses (there were two bosses).
Let me tell you right now. I don't hate people, even if I get mad or irritated, I never feel hatred inside me or the need to think bad of someone. But, one of the two bosses made me discover that feeling of hate.
He had a snake-shaped face (I don't think that was random), and he always laughed at his jokes. He was always shouting at me because he was a nervous person, more than normal. He had a tone in his voice like he knew everything. Early on, after being yelled for no reason a dozen of times, I decided that this was not a place for me.
After just two months of doing everything, from tech support to Photoshop and to building websites with WordPress, I gave my one month's notice, or so I thought. I was confronted by the bosses, one of which was a cousin of mine and he was really ok with me leaving and said that I just had to find a person to replace me which was an easy task. Now, the other boss, the evil one, looked me on the eye and said "you're not going anywhere".
I was frozen like, "I can't stay here". He smiled like a snake he was and said "come on, you got this we are counting on you and we are really satisfied with how you are performing till now". I couldn't shake him, I was already sweating. He was rolling his eyes constantly like saying "ok, you are wasting my time now" and left to go to some basketball practice or something.
So, I was stuck there, I could have caused a scene but as I told you, one of the bosses was a cousin of mine, I couldn't do anything crazy. So, I went along with it. Until the next downfall.
I decided to focus on the job and not mind for the bad boss situation but things went really wrong. After a month, I realised that the previous "tech guy" had left me with around 20 ancient Joomla - version 1.0 websites, bursting with security holes and infested with malware like a swamp. I had never seen anything like it. Everyday the websites would become defaced or the server (VPN) would start sending tons of spam cause of the malware, and going offline at the end. I was feeling hopeless.
And then the personal destruction began. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I was having panick attacks at the office's bathroom. My girlfriend almost broke up with me because I was acting like an asshole due to my anxiety issues (but in the end she was the one to "bring me back"(man, she is a keeper)) and I hadn't put a smile on my face for months. I was on the brink of depression, if not already there. Everyday I would anxiously check if the server is running because I would be the one to blame, even though I was trying to talk to the boss (the bad one was in charge of the IT department) and tell him about the problem.
And then I snapped. I finally realised that I had hit rock bottom. I said "I can't let this happen to me" and I took a deep breath. I still remember that morning, it was a life-changing moment for me. I decided to bite the bullet and stay for one more month, dealing with the stupid old server and the low intelligence business environment. So, I woke up, kissed my girlfriend (now wife), took the bus and went straight to work, and I went into the boss's office. I lied that I had found another job on another city and I had one month in order to be there on time. He was like, "so you are leaving? Is it that good a job the one you found? And when are you going? And are you sure?", and with no hesitation I just said "yup". He didn't expect it and just said "ok then", just find your replacement and you're good to go. I found the guy that would replace me, informing him of every little detail of what's going on (and I recently found out, that he is currently working for some big company nowadays, I'm really glad for him!).
I was surprised that it went so smoothly, one month later I felt the taste of freedom again, away from all the bullshit. Totally one of the best feelings out there.
I don't want to be cliche, but do believe in yourself people! Things are not what the seem.
With all that said, I want to give my special thanks to devRant for making this platform. I was inactive for some time but I was reading rants and jokes. It helped me to get through all that. I'm back now! Bless you devRant!
I'm glad that I shared this story with all of you, have an awesome day!16
I gor a problem with my gf, and she asked for space, then i got a new problem in my workplace, i want to kill my boss and my senior mothercuker! FUCK THIS!!!11
Me: *works all day and night to finish project before deadline*
Me: *has constant anxiety attacks. I'm gonna fail*
Me: *gets home and takes a 4 hour nap*
Everyone: OMG! I never see you doing any work. All you do is sleep and stare at your computer screen ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT! You need to get a job and do something with your time instead of being a lazy shit!
And people wonder why I have no fucking motivation to do these things. You are not helping my anxiety, woman!12
Should I work on my game..
Should I go to my parents Easter Party in a hot ass park with tons of people and get stressed out and let my social anxiety implode on me..
Who am I kidding, I don't have a choice here. *gets ready for the party*16
Always put yourself out of your comfort zone. Always. It's the main source of both anxiety and personal growth. Don't think that you're a fraud because you can't understand the new stuff right away, how else would you learn? Looking back you should always be impressed on how much you've covered, but still have anxiety of what's to come.4
My anxiety is kicking in again.
I want to build something meaningful outside of work but my mind is blank, I have no ideas to implement, and whenever one pops up in my head, I DDG it, I find that there's someone who already built something similar and I lose all interest.
I want to code, but I'm tired of solving fictional problems.
I miss being excited to learn a new tech, since I know I would ditch it if I can't find anything to build with it.
This is causing me to lose all motivation to code and learn, I really hope this is just a phase ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡17
I get serious anxiety when someone is doing something on a computer and I know that the way they are doing it is the slowest way possible.8
2 years into polytechnic I got my 1st big project as a subcontractor doing Symbian. No need to tell the company I presume.
Anyways, I was brought into the project just couple weeks before holiday season started. My Symbian programming experience was just the basics from school. 1st day I was crapping my pants out of anxiety. I pretty much didn't understand anything what my project manager or teammates were telling, so I just wrote EVERYTHING down on paper and recorded all the meetings to my laptop.
My job was to implement a very big end to end SDK feature. Basically from API through Symbian OS through HAL to other OS and into its subsystem. Nice job for a beginner :/
As the holidays were starting we had just drafted out the specification (I don't know how, because I didn't understand much of what was going on) and I got a clear mission from team lead. Make a working prototype of the feature during the time everybody else was on vacation.
"No problemos, I can do it" I BS'd myself and the team lead.
First 2 weeks I just read documentation, my notes and internal coding tutorials over and over again. I produced maybe couple of lines of usable code. I stayed at the office as late as I dared without seeming to obvious that I had no clue what I was doing. After the two weeks of staying late and seeing nightmares every night I had a sudden heureka moment. Code that I was reading started to make sense. Okay, still 2 weeks more until my teammates come back.
Next 2 weeks were furious coding and I got better every day. I even had time to refactor some of my earlier code so that quality was consistent.
Soooo, holidays are over and my team leader and collagues are very interested with my progress. "You did very well. Much better than expected. Prototype is working with main use case implemeted. You must have quite high competence to do this so well..."
"Well...I did have to refactor some stuff, so not 10/10"
I didn't say a word of my super late nights, anxiety and total n00biness.
Pretty much finished "like a boss". After that I was on the managers wanted list and they called me to ask if I had the time work on their projects.
Fake it, crap your pants, eat your crap and turn into diamonds and then you make it.
PS. After Symbian normal C++ and almost any other language has been a breeze to learn.2
>first day on the job (first ever)
>received job interview email from another company literally the moment I entered the building.
I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS ENOUGH!2
FUCK TESTING CHECKLISTS
FUCK CODE REVIEWS
FUCK DAILY STANDUPS
FUCK THE OFFICE
FUCK WORKING FROM HOME
FUCK GOOGLE MEET
FUCK PARTNER COMPANIES
FUCK BROWSER COMPATIBILITY
FUCK FRAMEWORK WARS
FUCK USER COMPLAINTS
AND FUCK TOP MANAGEMENT!5
Am I the only here who get so much PUSSY when encountering bugs in code?
P - panic attacks
U - uncontrollable anxiety
S - suicidal fantasies
S - sadness
Y - yearning to death12
You write code.
A strange issue prevents you to proceed further.
Try one fix. Fails.
Try another Fix. Fails.
Try fix #28. Fails.
You decide to ask for help in the support forum.
You start writing your post, mentioning everything you've tried so far. You feel your social anxiety and fear the humiliation of being told "because you didn't try X, you idiot". Then you come up with an idea for fix #29.
(fix #29 normally involves Wireshark or similar low-level inspection tool)
Try fix #29. It succeeds :)6
My psychiatrist has recently taken me off paroxotine which i was taking for anxiety. As a result, I'm wide awake unable to sleep cos my head is running at a million miles an hour. You know what I keep thinking?
1.) Sweet hairy balls of Mary Theresa I'm getting married in 3 months.
2.) Installing Arch sounds like fun. I wonder if I can do Unity3D and C# dev on it.
3.) @Gitpush, @Alice, @Linuxxx, @Bluenutterfly, @ThatDude, @AlexDeLarge Love your rants, keep up the good work!16
Does anyone else not enjoy pair programming? As an introvert who prefers to "work alone" and someone who has to look stuff up frequently, even things I "should know by now", I find pair programming very anxiety-inducing. I'm always wondering if the person I'm programming with thinks I'm an idiot/imposter.8
What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4
Ever have a feeling that there is so many interesting stuff out there - Angular, React.js, TypeScript, Rust, ELM, FRP, Machine Learning, Neuronal Networks, Robotics, Category theory... But no way to ever figure out what are all those about? And there is too little time to even get a good grasp of any single one of those. IT seems to be like hydra - one learns one thing and 10 new concepts pop up in the meantime.4
In these floods of anxiety and depression, coding is the only thing that is keeping me from sinking... <311
Sad to make my first post here a depressing one, but I really hope that some of you have some tips to help in this line of work.
If anyone of you suffer from depression, how do you cope with it? How do you keep yourself motivated and don't start this self-loathing that I'm currently in? Other than antidepressants or therapy (already have meds).
Why I'm asking is because I have a very tough time getting motivated these days and right now I really need to be most active. I need to do a lot of small and big stuff at my work and at the same time try to graduate from school. The deadline for my thesis is at the start of May, which surely seems far away now, but it does not feel like enough.
The more I understand the systems that I'm working with, the more I can see how much I may have f*cked everything up and I build this never-ending list of tasks for myself in my head to try and fix everything. Which leads to a complete lockup with anxiety and I can't get anything done.
I don't believe in myself or my code anymore. I'm afraid of pushing anything to production. I also don't have anyone else to help me with my work, as I'm the only developer in the company (we have a service provider where most of the big stuff happens).
To add to all this, I have been sick for the last 4 days.
I truly am in a bad place right now.22
Since this category is called rant/story, let me tell you a story today.
I went paragliding above the turqoise colored "dead beach" of Fethiye.
And boy was that awesome.
I was very insecure about flying first. I have such an anxiety. While moving up towards the "Babadağ" Mountain which is 2000 meters above the sea level, my hands began to Shake. We reached the Clouds. The pilot told me everything will be fine. He is doing that since 2006 and has 4 medals for Turkey's best long distance flyer and he also was a stunt man.
We ran down the Cliff. And as my butt was pushed against the seat, my anxiety began to lower itself.
We even did some stunts, but I do not have them on tape.
Those having such anxiety problems should definitely try this out! Really! :)9
When you work remotely and communication from your boss or coworkers sucks and you're paranoid that they think you arent doing anything since they dont check in with you.1
Robots are stealing our jobs, now they're stealing our ways of dealing with the anxiety of them stealing our jobs.4
You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT
I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF
dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.
Dude even said wow.
I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"
Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.
*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead8
Today I learned that coding in front of a room full of developers while they watch me code, sends me into anxiety mode and I forget how to type properly. Now all my coworkers think i type at 2 works a minute. yay :/4
That moment when your supervisor gets back to you so fucking late that you consider dropping out literally days before finishing your degree.
Lol. Kill me right now please.10
I really really want to start working.
I have social anxiety, but my mom is really on my ass about bringing in money. I need some sort of job that I can do from home on my computer.
Something related to programming.. Administration.. Whatever. I don't mind having to learn something new to find work.
I have no formal qualifacations.
I don't care how easy or hard it is, as long as I can make at least $100/mo.20
Signed up for a coding contest that starts at 9am. I’m bad at timed code challenges, but I’ll never get better if I don’t push myself.
Woke up in a panic, thinking I’d overslept... 1.5 hours after falling asleep.
This is definitely not going to help matters. Thanks, brain.10
Legit can't remember. I've been driven by anxiety of deadlines for so long (and also, had no real vacation) that I only can work if a deadline is approaching fast.
Had an employee evaluation today that I had been anticipating with a lot of anxiety since December. Went in with major impostor syndrome thinking I’m just not contributing enough and I was going to be put on the spot. But, they told me they couldn’t be happier with the work I’ve been doing. Now I can finally relax.4
After 9 months of my course that involved much fear, anxiety and depression, last night I had a great moment.
Learning about scrapers for my dissertation - watched 10 minutes of a tutorial video then thought of an idea and went away and an hour later had built a little program to read a restaurants menu on their website then read back what they had in the form of a poem - all in a language I hadn't used before that night.
The reason I learnt coding was that I idolised the idea of thinking of a problem and then just solving it with your own code. Last night was the first time I felt like I might be getting there.
p.s. Sorry this isn't very ranty.2
Note to myself:
Went alone to a conference, without knowing someone and
have problems to start a conversation with complete stranger,
is a stupid idea.
Social anxiety HURRAY but at least the talks were nice.4
I feel bad when I commit too often, especially for little stuff. I'm afraid people will think I just do it to get a higher number of commits :/11
I have a bit of work anxiety, since I feel that I'm terrible at programming, but that's because the other people have been working with code for 10+ years and I just started my job 3 months ago. but my manager is super supportive and tries to help any way possible.
SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME:
HOW DO I STOP BEING SO FUCKING AWKWARD!!!!!!!! Tell me please, i swear to you. My life would be so much better if i wasn’t so awkward and have social anxiety. Tell me what to do because i’m tired of it, i hate it so much.44
Exercise devs, exercise, exercise and then exercise a little bit more
I've been coding for a long time and tbh programming is a very fiscally stale labour/hobby and even if your mind is rushing looking for answers, jumping from one place to another you are not moving that much, yes adjustable desks for programming while standing up are good and having breaks also helps but nothing like running, jumping, climbing or any sport.
During my lifetime I've seen the long and short term negative effects of sedentary jobs, back problems, liver problems, hormonal imbalance, overweight, depression, and anxiety.
I've been fiscally active for a long while but when I stopped, the first symptoms I had were weight gain, anxiety and depression, one night I even broke a tooth from stress teeth grinding.
Ive seen that people here might be having this issues and think it's normal, but try it out, start with a walk or jog sprinkled on your weekend.11
Today I'm reminded of Robin Williams as the world mourns the loss of Anthony Bourdain.
You may think: "this has nothing to do with development", but I think it does.
I've struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time. Before my passion and love for writing code became my career, I just assumed it was due to not being happy. When it persisted after finally moving into a career when I do what I love, I realized it's much deeper.
When these people who greet the world with smiles, or make us ourselves smile, end up taking their own life... it gives me pause. How many times do I fight back the darkness? Will I ever lose that fight? Will it matter?
Depression is a serious illness. It's not simply someone being ill-equipped to deal with life. Even the most stable-seeming person around us could be battling this darkness in silence.
You only find out when they lose that battle.
We finish our sprints on time.
The PM congratulates us for the good work.
The client gives positive feedback too.
And yet, I have the feeling we're sailing full-speed straight into an iceberg.2
It made me anti social. It got me thinking in a very logical way, I can't connect with people.
I'd spend a lot of time (and still do) coding that I didn't make many friends and made me have social anxiety.
Nobody respects what I do or even understand it.
The one girl I would've happily fucking died in the most brutal way for with a smile on my face, wasn't interested at all... I was a geek to her and my lifestyle wasn't compatible with hers.... I wasn't good enough...
I am very self aware of my shortcomings and working towards that... But generally, I'm too fucking late to dating and all that.
Programming put me in a disadvantage in dating and social life.11
I really truly want to run my own dev blog, but every time I write an article, I feel that it's too dumb and useless because I already know the thing I wrote. I know it's absurd, yet I can't fight my own anxiety about it.2
This is what being a security enthusiast does to you.
A little background : This is our team's designer who asked me to send him one of my pictures to put on my ID Card (that he is designing) for the event that I'm organizing along with my team. I have known him for about 2 years now but well, security awareness gave me trust issues because I apparently asked him to delete the picture he is finally using for my ID Card after he is done with the work. He must be thinking I'm crazy.
P.s. I still don't know if he actually deleted it or not but let's just give him the benefit of doubt and try to live in oblivion.19
My phone just froze. But this one time, instead of being mad at it for stopping I had the thought that it's probably working harder than when things are going smoothly. So I watched with compassion as my phone tried to resolve its internal struggle, it being so overwhelmed that it could no longer communicate with me. It was like watching someone having an anxiety attack. There, there. Take all the time you need, little friend. You're safe in my hands ♥️8
Anyone else get extreme excitement/anxiety when you overhear random strangers discussing dev and nerd stuff, while you're sitting there trying really hard not to eavesdrop and join in?10
I dont know why. Maybe the appearance and performance.
Still i think i am better than most of them.
I am sure that i have a place in this industry.
Boss came in with new project:
boss shows me the design
me: it's a wordpress website ?
boss: client wants it with prestashop
me: but the brief is for an ecommerce website with 2 categories and a blog, wordpress with woocommerce and a blog should be enought
boss: no, client wants it with prestashop
oh I forgot, client wants it in a shared hosting server, where I can't add php extensions
started the project, fucked my weekend with anxiety and depression, and then products list came in ... 15 product
me: ok, I need to get the fuck out quick
I quit, I sleep at night, I smile with my kids ...2
I just realised that I've been experiencing a lot of stress and frustration over the last couple of months. I also realised that these feelings of dread and existential anxiety stem from my heavy use of Ubuntu. So I ended another agonizing 3 hours of trying-to-get-internet-access-again-so-I-can-get-some-fucking-work-done and managed to blow off some steam without causing too much property damage. Then I sat down and thought about it. And you know what? I hate Ubuntu.
With Window$ I can at least get some work done without having to write my own network drivers because the current ones do not function when the day of month is a prime number or some shit.17
Normal people dream about shit before they go to sleep.
I, on the other hand, try to formulate a hypothesis that I'm already stuck on for 3 business days, thereby giving myself anxiety, henceforth failure to sleep.
I'm just perfect! 👌🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️31
That I am not good enough for this shit.
Recently left my job because anxiety, a lot of it.
Tbh, I should not burntout myself, because:
- salary was a shit
- the scrum was a lie, there was no end of the sprint, so no retrospective meeting ever done.
- They change the """sprint""" task pile at any moment, usually adding more tasks for the same sprint.
- previous project manager was an idiot who said "yes" at EVERYTHING the client asked, even if the request was outside tje scope of the project.
The project was heavily delayed, and I was the only developer left on the most hideous backend you can imagine (the code was just tje very definition of "what not to do"). NO UNIT TESTING at all.
My task: clean the mess so we have a """stable""" release (with the tests), add the new features and re-do the backend again, but this time properly.
8 months of develop for this shit and they wanted the stable-shit-backend in a month and the new backend in other month "because everithing was already done in the shitty one". Do not forget the new features too.
So, I was doing the imposible to try to do tje task, overdoing hours and reading the docs of the project (because I was new in it), but it take me.a lot of effort to simply correct bugs because of complexity of the code and not understanding fully some parts of the project.
Then the comments like "why this is not finished yet?" Or "I do not understand why this is taking so long"
So, I had poor sleep, I was anxious because my inhability to do the imposible and in the end, a feeling kind of defeated because I quit.
Sorry if something is wrong typed or so, english is not my native language.5
Noticing a bug once or twice but not being able to reproduce it after that gives me anxiety. This job is detrimental to one's mental and physical health. Serious question. How to unfuck yourself?4
Hey guys how do you deal with juniors who code like this?
As a Senior this give me OCD and anxiety.61
How it feels to be an intern : "Omg I helped people making an app in reactJS I feel like I improved a lot in the past months"
How it feels to come back at school : "omg I have trouble writing a simple algorithm I feel so dumb I'm the worst dev in the world"
That's the difference of working in a team with a great mood and close to no-stress AND studying while having to deal with social anxiety.
The conditions in which I work have a huge impact on the way I feel about myself, my skills and basically on my motivation.3
At the end of each work day, once I am sitting down, I take a moment to do a little stress relief exercise.
I get in my car, make sure all doors/windows are shut, make sure the coast is clear, and I yell at the top of my lungs.
The relief is almost instant. And even if it was a good day, sometimes a good, loud yell can just help to relieve any build up tension, anxiety, or stress you may not have known you were under. Give it a try (:2
wondering whether the fact that I'm avoiding people to extreme measures is part of my identity and it is completely fine to be like that or is actually an obstacle in realization of my identity and I truly should do something about it6
Job seeking is mentally and emotionally tiring.
Done several skill tests that I think I killed every single one of them.
I've heard "Can you go through your resume?" a million times, 1 company hasn't said yes or no for 1 month, I have at least 2 job interviews a week. Recruiters low balling.
I also feel that being hispanic is more challenging. They think I didn't code anything back when I was living in my country. 10 years of experience reduced to the ones I've been working in the US.
It's been a long and tedious journey.
Thanks for bear with me up to this point...22
So I need some advice from some fellow devs here...
I recently accepted a job offer at a new company and I'll be leaving my place of work for the last 11 years. I'm a senior level dev who comes from a place where software is more of a secondary function and the skills of my peers are very... Atypical of most software developers.
My interview was ok, but I passed the mark barely - in that they recognize I'm rusty and have some gaps to shore up, but have decided to give me an offer anyway. I'm taking a "step down" to enter in as a level below senior to get my foot in the door of a real tech company.
I've got myself convinced I'm setting myself up to fail, despite being told by people that work there that they encourage mistakes and that they wouldn't be offering me a position if they didn't think I'd be successful.
Is it typical to feel inadequate and worried you'll be fired prematurely for underperformance? I've had little to no experience in a fast paced tech job so I have little to refer to. I was a very high performer where I'm coming from, but that's hard to equate to where I'm going. It seems like classic "impostor syndrome".
I've not even started there yet but I'm terrified my anxiety will get the better of me before I even have my first day there. Anyone out there have any advice?
I'm excited for this new opportunity but I can't seem to shake the fear of the unknown.4
Depression and anxiety is a major challenge in my work life.
I could remember vividly when I was at my last job, any time I felt depressed I'll call for sick leave. It was hard for me to pinpoint the cause of my depression because even while on most sick leave I still felt depressed.
I blamed it on my job, blamed it on my family, on my social circle, on my friends, on my lifestyle, on almost everything. At some point it all felt like it was me versus the world, a fight I could never win.
Thoughts came in... Maybe it's because John is now married with two kids, or because Stella is now the new manager, or that David just bought a new Ross Royce and I'm still riding an ice-cream truck, or its because Steve is always on vacation and PM always complaining about uncompleted task with no acknowledgement for the 2 months task finished in a week, or because Boss is always calling for stupid meetings. Different thoughts in my head... Jealousy, Envy, Disappointment, Tiredness, Confusion, all combined at once.
But I did found a cure for my anxiety and depressed nature...
During lunch hours I visit a beach close to where I work, it's called "Tarkwa bay". I'll sit at the rock formations and glare at the shadows of the rising sun, listen to the sound of rumbling waters and passive the complete overview of nature. The feeling I get there is really calming, It occupies my head with neutral thoughts and a love for nature. 🤗
I truly experienced an improvement overall and it's been a while I felt depressed since I started such a routine.
Nature is really a gift.1
Friends cause more problems than they solve. At least for me.
I'm currently not feeling well at all right now, anxiety and depression. I've never really experienced this before and let me tell you, if you're a person with problems like this regularly, I'm so sorry.7
Sort of !dev
I can't do school anymore. I get so many panic attacks. I was shaking the entire time I was writing my essay today. It's hard to focus when your brain is fucking freaking out. I'm missing deadlines, failing tests left and right.
Real talk, I'm not dumb. This was never a problem. My University fucked me up and now I can't even look at an assignment without an electric feeling and I don't know what to do.
I had a panic attack during the opening crawl of Star Wars. I had to leave the theater. My anxiety is going to give me a heart attack one of these times. I'm 18, why am I experiencing health issues like this?
School isn't done right. How could this be the intended effect?9
!dev I guess
Stress and anxiety are bitches. I'm sure that mostly everyone here already knows that. Sometimes life is just a fucking mess, and no matter what you do, it just gets worse and worse.
Personally, shit's just gotten so bad lately. A bit more than a year ago life was shit and I started pulling out my hair, then I noticed I had a bald spot after about a week and I did everything I could to stop. Managed to stop, until recently. Right now I have a fair sized bald patch right on the top of my head after about a month of pulling. At least I have long hair (about chest length) so I can just put it up to cover the spot.
This community has been the thing keeping me sane lately and I just wanted to thank you guys for just doing what you do. I'm a fucking mess and just need an outlet11
Seasonal depression is starting to kick in. I'm feeling like I'm not doing good, whenever I ask for help with code people usually just rewrite all of it when they fix it so I feel like I'm not improving at all. I'm almost to the point in my life where I have to move out and be on my own I'm 19 I still have about 2 more years but it's so stressful. My room is the most comfy place for me I cant be away too long or I'll just get depressed so how am i supposed to find somewhere i like more? And what would I even use the other rooms for. I want a roommate (particularly a friend of mine) but I'm not even out there and I can see the future depression I'm gettin myself into with all the Bill's and jobs and shit, and college doesnt help with stress or depression at all. I probably shouldnt worry about that right now but i just cant help it.. it goes by too fast fuck.
Sorry guys this is the only real outlet for my feelings nowadays8
not universal, but works for me:
1. start listening to long video/podcast/talkshow i'm interested in
2. (optional) think about all the physical things i should do, such as cleaning the house, running errands, etc. conclude "nah, i'd rather stay at the computer".
3. open the project i'm working on, thinking "while i listen, i might as well muck about with this for a bit". the key is for the thought to be duration-indeterminate and non-commital, so it feels like an idea for a voluntary idle activity.
4. start mucking around with the project, starting with the simplest smallest tasks, to slowly shift my focus away from what i'm listening to, so it gradually becomes the background thing as the work gets into foreground of my concentration without me even noticing. this also naturally shifts me towards the more important and complicated tasks in the project
5. naturally lose track of time, realizing i've been working for 2 to 3 hours without break only after what i'm listening to ends (sometimes not even then)
6. at that point, take a break, stretch my legs, get some food, watch some 20-30 minute thing with full attention.
7. find a new long-form mostly audio thing to listen to, and go to step 4. repeat.
8. i found i can work like this 8 to sometimes 20 hours straight in a nice atmosphere, without feeling like i spent the time working with all the mental exhaustion it brings, instead it feeling like "i was listening to interesting/entertaining things and mucking around with some stuff on the side", with all the feeling of "i've been idling the whole time" except the work is actually done, or at least i made a progress. it feels almost like procrastinating except without the guilt because i can see i've done a lot through that time. kind of a good compromise between total procrastination and working your ass off into complete anxiety/depression2
I had anxiety regarding webcams. I need a webcam every weekday to communicate with my colleagues, so I glued my MacBook's internal webcam and resurrected this ancient artifact.
Yes, I rewired it to use type c. Yes, no thermal shrink, I actually disassembled it and replaced the whole cable. Yes it works.
To those of you who doesn’t want to do it like this or needs portability I recommend a free app called OverSight, it blasts notifications every time the mic or the webcam is enabled. I learned many new things about my apps with it :)22
I work remotely and have to attend a 'scrum' call everyday which I fucking hate. It gives me anxiety as I already dont like extensive phone calls.13
Sorry, long since my last post...
I have quit my job recently at DERP & CO.. The level of anxiety was already somewhat of medical severity.
For months I had been in a project that not only did not progress, but that it was getting worst day by day.
A bit of Context
November: "Dev, junior anon needs you to help him on the SHIT project because they are running out of time, it is mainly doing unit tests."
Well, the code was a mess, there was a LOT of copy paste and it was all bad quality (we talk about methods with complexities between 80 and 120 according to SONAR QUBE).
Dev: "Anon, you know this is wrong, right?"
Anon: "Why? it works"
Dev: after long explanation.
Anon: "Oh well, yes, from now on I will take it into account." And he did it / try his best.
Dev does the unit tests and do extra work outside of the reach of the sprint (y than i mean work after hours, classic) and alerts the boss of the mess.
December: After a project of approximately 6 or 8 months of development, the boss discovers that the junior anon have been doing everything wrong and/or with poor quality (indicating that throughout the whole development the quality of the code was NEVER checked nor the functionality).
Boss: "This is a shit. Dev, you have to correct all the errors and warnings marked on sonar", which are around 1200 between smelling code, high risk errors, etc.
Dev fixes something like 900 bugs... lots of hours...
Boss: "This still is all wrong, we have to redo it. We will correct the errors leaving something stable and we will make a new repository with everything programmed as it should be, with quality and all"
- 900 corrections later, now are irrelevant -
Boss: "Dev, you will start to redo it, anon is out on other project. First you must leave the existing one working properly"
Dev: "ok ..."
January: How can I correct the mess if the client asks for more things. I am just fixing the mess, doing new functionalities, and when I have free time (outside the work) I try to advance the new repository, poorly I must say because burntout.
Boss: "Everything should be arranged at the end of January, so that you can redo everything well in February."
I can't handle everything, it starts to fall further behind. Junior Anon quits the job.
February: Big Bad Bugs in the code appear and practically monopolize the month (the code is very coupled with itself and touching in one place sometimes meant breaking other stuff).
Boss: "It can't be, you've been with this since January and you haven't even started correcting this mess in the new repo"
Dev: "It is that between the new things that are requested and the bugs I cannot put myself with that"
Boss: "Do not worry, you will be helped by random dev if you needed. SPOILER ALERT: random dev is allways bussy. Not made up bussy, He had a lot of work by itself, but it can't help me the way I need it.
High anxiety levels, using free time to try to reduce the work left and gradually losing the taste for develop.
March: So far, not only do they add new things day and day, but now they want to modify things that were already "ok", add new ones and refactor everything in a new repo. I just did not see an end of this nonsense.
Dev breaks, the doctor says it's anxiety, so I just know what I have to do.
Dev: "I quit my job"
Cool Manager: "Damn, why?"
Cool Manager: "Do you want to try if I can change you to other project or anotjer scope on the same project?"
Dev: "Thanks, but no Thanks. I need to stop for a while".
End. sry for long sad post and maybe poor use of English (?) Not my native language.11
Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄
And..... it’s Monday now....7
My gf left me, it's been a month.
I still can't focus on anything. Suffering panics and anxiety.
Couldn't code for a month. Still can't.32
Best: Defeating a seasoned IT professional who was unable to troubleshoot a problem for a week and me doing it in 25 minutes.
Worst: Dealing with anxiety and programmer's block.1
So, it's 22:40 here and I'm sat on a bench staring out at a pond because my stress and anxiety is at an all time high after a couple of weeks of hellish arguments with work and my personal life so as were all developers here to some degree let me convey my fucking thoughts here.
If you care more about maintaining your fucking superiority complex over writing good clean efficient code then get the fuck out of the industry.
I don't give two fucks whether you use Linux or Windows. I couldn't give two fucks about whether you use sublime, Emacs or VIM. I couldn't give two fucks about the framework you spend more time defending than coding in, because absolutely none of it matters if you code like a retard on bath salts you pretentious cunts.
Stop feeding you fucking ego. Absolute cluster fuck of an industry.4
Wow, fuck this ISP.
Someone reminded me of the due date last Monday and I said I paid already but they disconnected anyway. I reported it so many times and talked to two agents who said they will transfer my concern to the technical department. It's Wednesday evening and I got nothing. I tried calling them again where I listened to their retarded jingles, robotic assistance, and advertisements. I spent another five minutes losing brain cells with more "waiting" jingle music until it emptied my prepaid load. I talked to NOBODY.
I've been using a pocket wifi ever since. Died in Minecraft because I walked into a chunk where stones should be but hasn't loaded yet because of this shitty shitty internet. I plan to work from home tomorrow after this fever fuck days but how the fuck is that even gonna happen?
Not to mention the fucking airline company who kept reminding me to pay for my flight booking long after I paid for it. How hard is it to check your database if someone has already paid instead of spamming them with the anxiety that they haven't paid for their shit yet? How lazy are the fucking developers around here? Fuck all of you.
I hate the services in this country.7
Just received an email from a client's new liaison.
He spells "going to" as "goner" and "could have" as "could of".
As if I needed more anxiety these days.5
People distressed the fuck out of me today.
So now, 2:18 in the morning, I'm in bed, wide awake. Because anxiety is shit.
... And I have to be up early to do the work that I didn't do today.
Why do people have to be such dicks?24
This is definitely a total first world problem but I am so frustrated.
I am stuck in a team that embodies the Japanese proverb "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down".
The management are there because it is convenient and flexible and have no interest in managing or keeping up with tech.
The lead developers are extremely anti-social and are not approachable and the this stems down to the devs (not all but really most) - all there just to do the bare minimum and spend most of their energies in trying to avoid work or having learn something.
Unfortunately I am passionate about what I do and want to build high-quality products and this has put me at odds with the way things work.
I could fill up alot of time talking about how I was ordered to "cut" images/icons out of PDFs rather just getting them from the branding team, or how I was scolded for having set up logging, detected a problem caused by another developer and fixed it before it cost a big client a massive amount of money... But really the point is that I have never worked somewhere with such an awful attitude to enthusiasm and quite frankly it boggles my mind trying to understand how they rationalise these things but the answer is always laziness.
Obviously there are worse problems in the world than working in a job where you are encouraged to do nothing... But it actually really depresses me and causes anxiety that I am working with people who don't care about testing or monitoring or learning new things or even collaboration.
Hopefully the job market will start opening again soon5
I quit this startup side job coz I was over worked and under paid for 3 years and I decided it wasn't worth the mental fatigue and anxiety. Plus I didn't feel like it added any value to my life other than stress. Gave them at least 2 months notice (since February effective April 30th) coz as the only server side engineer+team lead, I did ALOT. Now they brought this hot shot new CTO who wants me to basically rewrite the entire app before I go while maintaining the existing system and making sure everything functions smoothly (there is a ton I chose to optimise to make things easier for the new dev who they have not hired and I have 4 weeks to go) . The app was built in mongo db now he wants it in mysql. Can't believe ask me this after breaking my neck and falling in and out if depression for this job?!! I want to laugh and scream at the same time.9
* Sit back and enjoy the night watching series/movies*
* Chills in the weekends*
- It's nice to code at work
*anxiety building up*
Should I code all time?
When I get home I'll start a project7
Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of disparate microservices when building applications. I started 4 years ago building monolithic applications on symfony, laravel and .net.
SPAs have not only made my applications more flexible but have allowed me to build more flexible front ends. But I almost ALWAYS have this dirty, unorganized feeling when working in this microserviced approach.
My data always feels scattered. Because my backend doesn't have as tight of a grip on what view is being rendered and what data it gets, I am always left with a sense of disorganization and lack of security. I have more anxiety that my application will unravel at any given moment then I've ever had and that keeps me up at night.
Does anyone else feel this way when working with disparate systems?
And dont even get me started on mongo. Again, I love it, but the feeling of disorganization is intense when using it.4
My fellow nerdy ranters what's the best way to take care of social anxiety completely, am contemplating alcohol10
The new iPhone is gonna have an odd number of pixels in width. I can already feel the anxiety of trying to achieve pixel perfection.7
Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed, excited, confused and in an anxiety/desesperation-scene on developing JS base de software.
Don't judge me, I'm a newbie10
Anyone else here with anxieties, depression or what-not? I feel this could get heavy, but I feel this is the only place I could write this. So...
My 18-month-long programming course is slowly coming to an end. Time has come for us to be sent out to job interviews at various companies.
Every single time an interview comes up, I feel the exact same mix of my inconfidence, constant anxiety, "I'm gonna throw up", impatience and whatever else is there in my head. I figured it would get easier with each consecutive interview but it hasn't.
The questions they ask make me sick. The atmosphere is unfathomable. Robots are more humane.
- Why do you want to work with us?
I need money for my meds and something to down them with? I willingly put myself through this shit to become a corporate slave, what else is there to say? I can only hope I'll be writing any code here.
- Where do you see yourself in 2-3 years?
Far away from anything remotely related to an HR department of any sort?
- Had you been a fruit, which one would you be? Whatever would come out of my tears blended with semen? What the fuck is even that question?
Of course those aren't my actual responses, but conjuring the IRL ones to finish the process is a serious burden. And those are only some HR ones. After this barrage of questions they want my lifeless, flaccid body to write code. I mean ok, it's a software dev gig, but I already gave all I had on self-clairvoyance.
We'll be in touch!
Is there a strategy you guys have when you go to an interview? Any tips for taming the acrid beast running around in your brain? Is it too much to talk with a human in a humane language without "15 buzzwords to make the recruiter moist"?5
I did it. I finally fucking did it.
After a year of anxiety, entire months of wasted time, bashing my head against the wall trying to solve stupid issues that should not have been there in the first place, and learning a lot of stuff for the first time, I have finally finished my first real project.
All I have left is to polish up some documentation and then ship it. And then I will actually get paid for the first time.
There are no words to describe the joy of seeing all the pieces falling into place and the project coming to life.
Now, how do you tell a client that you went overtime as fuck?5
I haven't really known what to post. But I've decided not to care about being relevant or care about the like count. I'm a very competitive person so things like like count tend to effect the way I see the quality of a post.
I want devRant to be a place where I can be honest and feel safe even if I don't get the validation I sometimes wish I had. And hey maybe someone will think my opinions or thoughts are interesting.
So let's start with a little about me. I'm a 17 year old kid that loves programming. I work full time as a full stack web developer and I'm really the only web person. The current system is built on WordPress because of fucking course it is. I don't like it but I gotta keep it user friendly for less techy people to manage. No one likes have all minor changes and tweaks having to go through one person when they could do it themselves. So I manage.
I'd say my passion is more backend development but I do love having a pretty UI to display the results.
I've struggled with mental health the past few years but I'm doing much better. Even just last week I had an anxiety attack during a social event. I came here for the community and I do enjoy it, but I'm gonna try to make it an outlet. My best friend went off to university and I don't really have any IRL friends I can just be me around.
I don't have anything special to say. But if you read this thank you for listening to some random kid on the internet. I hope you have a great day.4
Man, I'm a second week intern at a company, and the anxiety that I have is making me stupid. I literally lose all of my coding skills, stuff that I could do at home in 15 minutes takes hours at work.
Am I crazy, or will this go away.
( am a naturally stressed and anxious person, I know this is not good)6
I've really struggled to make friends with people who code... and it's been absolutely frustrating. Does everyone in this industry have a god complex or something? Everyone I try to make friends with ends up being super narcissistic and self obsessed it's crazy. One of them wanted to be my mentor a while back, and we still talk occasionally, but after getting to know him I decided I didn't want to learn from him. It turns out he only mentors people to showboat his greatness and claim later that all their success is directly his doing. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those people and I only ever had 2 sessions from him. One of the best choices I've ever made. But I've found a lot of people who are programmers tend to be a lot like him. A lot of them I talk to will hit me up to brag about themselves or what they've done. But none ever ask what's been up with me or how my journey is doing? Is this just a normal thing in this industry or am I just meeting terrible people. It's made me appreciate my slightly dumber friends, cause at least they care about me and it shows.
More a rant than anything, but genuinely curious if anyone else has this issue... I'm starting my bootcamp soon and I'm hoping to make friends but I'm so concerned about this it's kind of giving me anxiety.14
Flying back to NY for my last semester.
Don't know how to feel about it.
Let the job hunting begin!
Pssst... Please hire me2
Anxiety and depression came back today.
I have so many feelings I can't express to anyone.
I have so many thoughts and ideas I can't talk to anybody about.
Friends never invite me anywhere.
Sometimes I think about ending it all.
It's been like this for the past 5 years or so.
Isn't life just great sometimes? 🙃8
Do you ever get anxious and do some work to calm down but then you forget about time and stay up until 6am finishing two features which were due in a month?4
Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.14
Because I didn't start coding until 21 I constantly feel behind, but the pure satisfaction from finally getting something to work or to see a project grow iteratively over time keeps the gears turning. The bad part is I feel like I am constantly stressed because of my feelings of always being inadequate. The thing is I didn't only have to learn how to code but I basically had to start from scratch tech wise. i had a decent acer laptop in high school and basically just web browsed and gamed with it. So needless to say most of my life has been away from a computer. Now I feel at a constant rush to compensate for my ignorance. I have slowly become more introverted because I feel like if I don't work on my skill set everyday I stray further away from making myself marketable; this has caused me to become more irritable and to close myself inside more. I want to make a career doing this and I also have the added pressure of not having a degree, so projects and skills are even more mandatory. I truly love programming to the fullest extend, but not having local friends to express code with and to bounce concepts and ideas off of is torture. But I try to keep my head up and make progress out of the day- if the will is there- so I can land my first job as a developer and actually make a living doing something that brings me a little piece of meaning. So overall there is a tradeoff of having added pressure, stress, anxiety and sometimes depression to build a craft that still has ages to go to reach a stage of maturity.10
My daily scrum, the team I'm in doesn't care and just blows our 10min daily into a 1hour "talk about anything" meeting2
It is really really really hard to do anything, including development or studying, when you're worrying about losing your teeth.
You can't imagine the anxiety.13
Who did I piss off in my life to have to deal with this bullshit? First day off of vacation. I am vacation hungover and just regular hungover. Left my Xanax at home. I just sat through a 45 minute meeting that I didn't have to be in for longer than three minutes. I have what my work place calls scrum in 7 minutes, another fucking meeting I don't have to be in cuz vacation. I wasn't even planning on coming in today except for the fact that my fucking boss came in, in the middle of his vacation, to schedule a meeting this afternoon and then go ghost when I try to either reschedule or at least ask what my fucking responsibility in this meeting is this whole thing is making me sick to my stomach because anger triggers my anxiety which triggers my stomach issues which triggers my phobia which triggers more anxiety which then triggers my anxiety. Gods fucking dammit. Why did I come back from vacation just to arrive in meeting hell? Nothing is okay.4
I worked really hard to make this girl my friend at work. We go for morning breaks around from 10:00 AM – 10:30 AM.
And then this new guy joined the company sitting close to me and we become friends. This new guy finds my girl friend really awesome and they are getting closer everyday and they are leaving me behind now and separates me with almost all the conversations during morning break meet.
Today, during the morning break. My girl friend said that I have changed and don't talk to her much like I used to. Way back when we met I really clearly told her that I have anxiety and social disorder so please bare with me and she told me that she will be there for me as a good friend.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to lose a good friend really soon.5
I get anxiety when I have no work for days,
I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.5
First week at job as newly graduated from CompSci. And I feel like a fucking monkey trying to figure out how everything works, I have help from the main developer but it feels like I have to ask questions all the time and I can feel the judgement in his voice. Today I committed my first lines of code (phoneformatting) and he basically had to hold my hand the whole way through. I feel like shit atm, I really want to be good at this, I watch tutorials but when it comes down to it my mind just blanks out and I can't figure out how to even write a simple fucking method in php (which he did and my brain just shut down ). Please help me, how do I improve at remembering all these terminologies, I feel like if I keep it up like this they won't have me around for long.7
Every time I want to post here about a problem, my social anxiety tells me what I should try before asking about it.4
Me: *Working peacefully*
One hour later:
*Action items are sent*
My Anxiety: 📈4
It's sometimes really anxiety inducing thinking that all data could be gone, if somebody decides to kill/discontinue/crash [see gitlab shitting 6 hours of data due to fucked backup strategy and shitty seperation of servers] your account/service, be it server, git-repos, backups, chrome syncs, games, music, sim card, ..
But there's simply no way of having a backup of absolutely everything (ignore DRM) - especially automated and abstracted away from you, so you don't have to do all that shit yourself13
So we'll be using three main languages in the back-end now and I'm the only back-end developer.
On the bright side, my plan is happening on its own. Plan: https://devrant.com/rants/2437649/...
On the dark side, my ex (Java) is haunting me again and the years we spent apart makes me less confident about working with her again. Also, I still need to support my current girl (Python) even after my future arranged marriage with this other chick (Go).
So I am literally getting gangbanged by these three (my past, present, and future) and while that's pretty hot, here comes the anxiety. The only thing I'm thankful for right now is that these are inanimate objects, not creatures with faces that I want to punch in the face. Those tend to make my blood boil the most.2
Ok everybody, listen up.
For a long time, even before I knew devrant, I failed an exam and had to retake it. It was, and I think this is fair to say without exageration, the worst thing that had happened to me. Put me deep into an anxiety crysis that it was very difficult to escape from. Months of hard work, at the sacrifice of many other valuable things, helped me to climb out of this hole. It was a struggle, but I finally made it. Earlier today I retook the exam. It was great. Thank you for standing by in this difficult time of my life. We live in a post-thisfuckingexam-time. Many of my rants on here were influenced by this issue. Now they probably wont ever be again. Thank god, and thank me for keeping it up.
Tldr: i wrote an exam today.3
I'm done fighting with my professor over my thesis project. They want me to go slower in building my project and we only have 7 weeks to deployment. Well screw you how in the hell do you expect me to prototype, build, bug fix and deploy all this and go SLOWER. YOU AREN'T AIMING TO BE A CAREER DEVELOPER ARE YOU?
I feel really sick this morning. Between the anxiety of graduating soon and my debt...
I just want live for myself. Not the sake of a school or some corporate entity. When this is over I want to work overseas in Europe. Do something for myself for once.2
My anxiety is over the roof. I have keep 3 media players simultaneously playing Pink noise, Sounds of raindrops and lofi hiphop just to keep my brain grounded.14
Pretty sure I’ve finally got over my anxiety of going to gym. Trying to move more during the day and get my weekly exercise in the mornings but my general anxiety messes up a lot.
Now I’m feeling pretty fresh for a full day of build errors 🙃1
Does someone else also know the feeling when you are together with other devs that you instantly feel like your skills aren't even existent?
Often I notice that I feel that way without actually habing a reason :/4
Feels like I'm battling anxiety lately. Always tons of projects to work on and they seem so easy, but getting round to them feels harder and harder. Anyone else have this issue? How do you deal with it. Cigar seems to have helped today...3
Tech sector job interviews assess anxiety, not software skills - ‘A new study finds that the technical interviews currently used in hiring for many software engineering positions test whether a job candidate has performance anxiety rather than whether the candidate is competent at coding. The interviews may also be used to exclude groups or favor specific job candidates.’
Full story: https://sciencedaily.com/releases/...
Fucking coding interviews3
Fuck it all to Hell today. I'm cutting into my mostly night time Xanax script at noon.
My boss just made my coworker remove his own copyrighted photo from our Trello board for internal development. The board is only used by the two of us for internal projects. He thinks that our C-level execs would get onto him, not my coworker, for us having a fucking photo of the Boston city skyline on our own, internal, never fucking seen by anyone but us, Trello board. It has fucking animated gifs from Giphy on it, but my fellow dev can't use his own god damn photo as the background.
We're a fucking marketing department for home building materials not a blog using Getty images without permission for fuck's sake.
Then on top of that fucking Cache rules are fucking up on Drupal views and a webform decided to just stop fucking working for submissions after about 26,000 successful ones and it corrupted the last 500 or so in the process.
Oh and fuck Varnish.4
Do you get filled with anxiety and mental anguish when asked for your availability for a technical interview, knowing you’ve spent all your time recently programming and not working on algorithms/data structures and so you’re terribly unprepared but have no idea what the acceptable amount of time to schedule out without seeming like you’re incompetent is?
....me neither. (She says, lying)8
Was reading something about delusional disorder, and it got a bit scary cuz it made me question myself. Now, I tell you why.
I have a bad memory when it comes to trivial stuff. And I am, by occupation and therefore on a daily basis, creative and imaginative. Having pretty strong imagination means that I often have to ask myself "did that really happen or did I imagine it?" Which, given anxiety, I imagine all types of scenarios before they happen. (Parallel universes got nothing on me 😎)
So, now I'm wondering, where is the line between imagination and delusion, and how can you say what's real and what's not, be it offline (distorted memory) or online (schizophrenia).
One idea could be that video recording could help confirm, but we read emotions and vibe in real-time, and often those can't be recorded.
... Idk. Maybe I'm overthinking it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thank you for reading my half-baked thoughts!6
Every time my anxiety kicks in, I hear the music from Outlast 2 when the Christian loonies start chasing you and my heart starts racing. I want to run fast, grab a shotgun, and shoot every demon in sight. But someone said that talking to me during these moments is like having a gun pointed at them.
Fuck the dark thoughts, I'm not getting paid being hunted down by the same old demons. I'm gonna finish a week's worth of work today on a Saturday. Fuck, maybe a month's worth for the whole weekend. I'm gonna hunt bugs instead and actually understand all the boring concepts I've been avoiding.
Fuck you, brain. Fuck. You.2
Someone did something right - i sometimes get anxiety and this little wonder helps tremendously....
Holding it while it spins....thats all it takes and "poof" - anxiety gone and am 110% able to focus9
Night time depression+anxiety combo is super fun!
Specially that part that tells you "check your emails" and then you find like 69 more reasons to worry.
I should just call it quits and become a middle manager. Or is it too late? 😬10
Do you find it difficult to make new friends in your late 20s? Im talking about situation when you left your hometown, left your university city and started living in a fresh new city while working as a remote dev? Only way to make some would be to get into some hobbies, but for now I just try to kick my anxiety causing addictions (nicotine in particular). Once Im back to my calm state I will get out there, but for now Im just an anxious uninteresting wreck haha. At least Im living with my sister and managed to find a great girlfriend, but in terms of social life I dont have it as much as I wanted. Im in a strange situation where I hate people but at the same time want to connect more with them.11
Having the coder anxiety, can't finish code in one sitting, getting anxious, not eating because cannot eat while in the middle of something "important". Trying to finish it anyway, getting more tired, staying up too late, losing concentration on the next day and doing it all over again...2
I'm very frustrated at my job. Nobody gives a shit to work and don't have technical knowledge. My colleague keeps on battering the peers. And colleagues are discussing everything without me.
So trying to switch company but no luck in a year. And I have stopped working at my job. Gives me serious anxiety.6
TFW you open a brand new project after working on lines of code for months.
>closes last project
>at least 400 lines of code
>be me: "good bye my old friend."
>opens blank document
>hello darkness my old friend
Nightly anxiety is a new concept that I'm embracing.
On tonight's episode:
> The boss did not like my work.
> He was being nice when he said it's good work.
> I am a failure and should immediately go and get a degree in nail design and work as a minimum wage nail artist. Or hair dresser. Or even cleaning crew.
... This is fun. 😐18
The proof that the time machine really exists and that Microsoft is using it gives me a lot of anxiety
I just hate this life so damn much, 14 and depressed with possible anxiety and suicidal attempts is not easy. My parents are the worst. MY brother sucks. I wanna die.9
Health anxiety is funny.
a pendulum between
"oh no, what if I have x and die"
"jesus christ, this anxiety is too painful i wish i was dead"
death is a fucking tease.
anyhow, just venting, not promoting self harm, if you are having thoughts of mortality contact your national suicide hotline.
also, not trying to be a dick, but id appreciate receiving no advice, just a "i hope you get better" will help me a lot.5
Ugh! I'm in unfinished project Hell. Three website owners need me to finish big features and I just keep uncovering bugs and feature gaps. So much anxiety about all of it.3
I've come to notice that mindful meditation does some good things to me.
And by "mindful meditation" I mean my subjective experience based on the shitty articles and videos I saw online, aka, I close my eyes and focus on how my breathing feels...
spoiler: it doesn't fix my depression and anxiety. The good thing that it does to me is that I seem to be more focused and to bump into simple solutions to problems I have everyday instead of freaking out about them.
So while it doesn't fix it, it does help a bit with anxiety.
The problem is that it's very, very, very goddamn hard to meditate to me.
I try to focus on my breath and not think for like 10 minutes. Even for 10 minutes, the experience is jarring.
I have this insane urge to just do something immediately. It's not a painful experience or anything or bad for my mental health so far, I just get massive urges to start doing something else, like, for example, I can't wait to start working.
So it's as if it decreased anxiety, but increases adrenaline or whatever? I dunno.
Disclaimer: I don't care much about the religious aspect at all, which is kind of problematic because 95% of what you find online is just biased religious marketing, and I avoid that like the plague.8
Am I the problem or is my job?
TL,DR: Problems at work on a specific project with wide scale, I'm the only developer charged to fix them, work is very frustrating, I'm getting very anxious and stressed and thinking about leaving.
Recently we've been having problems with software that we developed which has been in production for a year now, the client has accepted the software but decided to put it on the shelf for a year and release it publicly now, after that some bugs and problems started appearing and I was pretty much the only one who had this mission to help with the problems since the other coworker had left the job, problems are still appearing to this very day and there are new functionality requirements as well, I'm getting anxious and overly stressed, in the last 2 weeks I have worked 3 weeks worth of hours, no pay for overtime, and even when I go home or on a weekend I can't stop thinking about work, problems and new tasks there. It has stressed me out so much that sometimes just wanna say "fuck it" and leave, I think it's damaging my mental health as well, my boss told me that problems are not my fault since the system was not tested properly and I should just focus on solving the problems at hand, but fuck it I don't wanna get anxious and think about what problem is left for me on the table whenever I go to work, I overthink so much it's like my life depended on it.
The scale of the project is large (nation-wide, small nation though), I started developing it with only 1 year of experience, now I have 2 years of experience which I think is part of the problem since I do not have enough experience to deal with this shit and also I think it was inadequate of the management team to let me (a junior dev at a time) develop the core of such software.
I hate this project and everything associated with it, I'm thinking about leaving.
Your thoughts and what would you do in my shoes? Should I stay and deal with my stress and anxiety and continue working here? Or should I leave and look for a fresh start and a better organized team?
If you are still reading this thank you.3
Learning to juggle my depression/anxiety/urge to punch stupid people. Currently still a work in progress.2
How does one handle stress? I’ve got way too much on my plate... I’ve never puked before due to stress and anxiety until recently.11
1. It's one of those few times in life that listening to Lq's Numb doesn't make me feel less anxious. Or Somewhere I Belong. Either way, anxiety levels are on all time high.
2. I have completely lost appetite. Usually at this point in time I'd go to doctor and ask for Xanax or something similar, to chill for a few days. But covid. I ain't going to any clinic, plus, ain't nobody got time for that.
3. On top of everything, I am also PMSing. The lack of energy, times n. (n>10)
4. Struggling to get out of bed for hours is now a reality.
5. I'm glad ("glad" is exaggeration tho) this will pass in a few weeks. I am hanging on to that hope and experience tells me it will pass. But my feelings are like "nah, we doomed. Let's just run away. Or just sleep until it all passes or we die of starvation."
6. My brain must work for the next few days. If I have to push it by drowning it in sugar, I will. But I'm also obese rn. Well, I guess it's "Hello diabetes!".
7. My hands and feet are cold. Like, freezing cold. Meanwhile, the rest of me is sweating. This sucks. Ngl.
8. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Like, those last stabby stabs moments in a battle where you know you're gonna fall down soon. I know this feeling of doom and gloom is PMS related, but it's there. I have no solution for that aside from nicotine and sugar.
9. I can't even cry. Which is sad.
... Do you see what's happening there? That's the loop I'm in.5
I cannot wait for the fireworks to stop. People are loud enough with their partying, and at least shitty music and loud talking doesn't set off my panic and anxiety.
All I want to do is program, not vomit my guts out from anxiety.9
How do you guys deal with managers who message you after hours about work? My slack and email keep going off and it's been causing me a bit of anxiety. I decided to close the slack app on my computer and change the notification preferences so that I can breathe for a bit today. I am a frontend dev intern.7
Source : Reddit
P.s. Anyone had a look at today's eclipse ?
Here in Delhi, IN it's all cloudy and I can't see shit.4
I had mentioned before I got offered a new role, with 50% increase.
I wasn’t expecting my current employer to counter, but they suddenly shat themselves and basically matched the salary, and offered promotion to software developer (sans junior). They acknowledge my role within the company is only increasing in responsibility and so far I have exceeded expectations. Its a nice response to have from them, although I do wonder how long it might have taken without the panic.
The new company have counter-countered, promising to raise salary by a further 20% of total, within the first 6 months, provided I learn React reasonably quickly (about a month), integrate with the team and start to take on my roles within the Agile set relatively independently (3-6 months). They also don’t bother with the junior role title at these pay bandings.
I said I would stay with my current employer, before the counter counter move. Now I am full of doubt.
Has anyone landed in teams like this, only to find they didn’t offer increased learning at all? If that was a high risk for me, I wouldnt take it, despite the offer of more cash. I’d sooner get more skilled in the stuff I have been working in at my current role.
Pretty amazing how much amazing life experiences can cause anxiety. Never been in the middle of a bidding war before...13
<no trolls tag>
I suffer with anxiety.
I took pills (pristiq), but side effects almost ended with my marriage.
And now I'm having more problems. Even a message from my boss trigger me and I can't think properly.
I have a good job and small mini projects and I enjoy playing games
How do you deal with anxiety?6
I work at a company that sees front end developers as, basically, lab rats. I make less than my coworkers, who are all underpaid, and also turn out more clean code (based on mutual agreement, plus the only person who documents anything) than the rest of the team, and at much higher quantities.
Why? Because I get my ass handed to me by depression and anxiety every morning, and end up coming in ~1 hour late everyday. (For nearly a year now, even with medical intervention)
I'm probably going to be fired for it fairly soon, as well as get swallowed in medical bills.
On the bright side, I finally fixed a bug with my portfolio website that I've been working on, so I've got that going for me which is nice.2
Therapy is hardest when you're starting it IMO. I don't like talking about my vulnerabilities with people face to face very much, I get pretty defensive about it. We've agree that I'm suffering from a high level of anxiety which is likely leading to depression and we'll be working on solutions in the coming weeks.
Over the weekend I stopped programming and dedicated myself to more leisure. Went out for a hike (literally) and got a PS4, my first new gaming machine in over two years. Been playing Horizon Zero Dawn.
I'm starting to feel a little bit better. :)2
I took a day off work to go enjoy camping.
I've never felt so much anxiety about work at this time. I feel like I need to be working right now.4
Does the light of your laptop destroy your sleep ?
Mine REALLY does :/
Been suffering of insomnia for more than 4 months and the therapist said it's either self depression or anxiety !
Now I know : It's all my laptop's blue shade fault !!6
That moment your senior gets an email saying the company was bought over. Should i worry?... Why did i not get the mail?.. So many questions. Not sure if i should even worry.7
Just became an instructor at an microelectronics course, can't even finish a normal course due to social anxiety. Fuck.1
Sorry to repost,
I had made a request for friends post last week, but someone mentioned my discord link was too far down, so maybe people missed it.
So here it is chirptune#1829.
Again, I'm doing wfh and having decent anxiety so I would appreciate talking to someone. I can also hear you on your problems.
When my boss says, isn't it nice to get to do something else than studying all the time (studying uni full time). My initial reaction, nope uni is a thousand times more fun than this reception job, second of all I get anxiety every time I have to go to this work, sorry not sorry man
I try to do one thing, I try to make one thing a little better and the universe shovels shit in my face. I’m just trying fix all this old outdated shot and I keep getting shit on in so many ways. I’m trying so hard to not become a bitter angry old man but damn if I don’t understand the bitter angry old mans motives right now. Fuck this ongoing onslaught of crashes and shit shows.
I hate it when depression strikes again and it renders me useless because I can't focus here at work.
I'm spending my break time right now trying to cheer myself up by looking at some memes online.3
Do you know how to spoil my weekend? Interview me on Friday afternoon for my dream position and tell me that "you'll let me know Monday latest".
Guess who couldn't mentally switch off over the weekend?4
God why is it so hard to let go with people around, especially potential friends or partners... It could be so easy to just have fun and do the things you always think about, but then you mess it up and that somehow.. purposely.3
Whose idea was to send an e-mail at 11pm about a dev job convention for this weekend!!! And on top of that there will be testing to weed out the candidates!
SIMPLY GREAT! I have to be off town for unavoidable family matters for three days without Internet connection...
Thanks a lot automated mail system for letting me know 4 days in advance that I will fail!!!
It's not that things were awful enough, now I have one more reason to be stressed, get more rashes and weep internally!
OK, so, did my first 5 hour pre-interview coding test. it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. now I can't decide whether to be chuffed at myself for not finding the test all that terrible, or beset with anxiety that it was too easy because I misunderstood and just handed in pure crap and I'll never hear from them again.9
Version control is important... But holy shit I'm having an anxiety attack from this: https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/...2
Does anyone else feel bored of sleeping ?
Purposely closing my eyes and dozing off to sleep is something I cannot do... It's just boring.
I tire myself out until my weakness kicks in to give me a couple hours of sleep. This has been affecting my health, concentration and ultimately work and I don't know how to tackle this problem.
Trying to sleep is easier said than done, staring into a blank empty space is a huge anxiety trigger for me on top of being a less exciting thing to do.23
Good friend, Jay. Helped level up my understanding over the years, JS patterns, using APIs, best practices, etc.
Also helped kill off anxiety about the community by proving we work together and share knowledge.
Many thanks and I hope everyone has a Jay in their life.
I have healthy anxiety, it started around 15.
I have melanonychia right now, which is a change in a nail pigmentation. I have a grey vertical line running from the the start of the nail to the end.
I had it checked out 6 months ago with a dermatologist and he said it was fine, to do a checkup later.
I took a picture now and it's a bit wider than 6 months ago but it still seems pretty regular and doesn't seem to have signs of subungual melanoma (skin cancer beneath nail, which is the only danger).
Because of getting wider, I'm doing another checkup this week. I wished I had more money.
Meditation is helping me a lot, like big time, but I feel that it's just a distraction for a potentially early demise.
I fucking hate this part of my life. It's too painful.
I'm not depressed enough to not want to be alive, but sometimes I wished I wasn't.6
Work is still going great, but I'm killing myself with general anxiety about other things...
Covid, laptop is gone for now, phone is acting up, I don't have any backup device, I'm running out of money, need to fix my teeth soon enough, health-wise I'm pre-diabetic and almost obese, (not look-wise, rather weight-wise) as well I will need to check for hormones because I'm growing body hair more than I should and still am losing head hair more than I should, and I should quit smoking.
... but I still love the work I do, so what does life and gods have against me? :|
I have been taking deep breaths more often to just not lose my shit these days. Like, unless I end up in a great situation next, this all is so unfair.3
Someone in the office(to someone else)- This thing broke yesterday in production. I think this was the problem.
My anxiety- oh that must be something related to what I did. Probably it's my fault, even though I haven't yet pushed anything that's released in production.2
I have a programming tutorials website I built from scratch in the PHP framework Laravel 5.4. Recently my friends have been pushing me to use WordPress instead.
I haven't worked with WordPress yet but I just hate it. I always think that it will not give me the flexibility I might need when adding new features.
This has put me in great doubt and anxiety about what I'm doing.
Is wordpress a better choice? I'm I just being lazy about the WordPress stuff?
I'll appreciate any advice on this.6
Well after working a normal office job for a while I'm kinda starting to think I thrive on isolation.
All of the people, the noise, the distractions, the lights, it's all so overwhelming. I have constant anxiety attacks.
Idk does anyone relate with this? We're they ever able to overcome? Cope? Bend their employer to the will of their isolationism by working at home more often and still producing results despite the Beck and call to "please stay in the office and fit in our prescribed work time box, you robot."3
Does anyone else have this subtle anxiety about talking to people on the phone? I can talk to people face to face all the time, but for some reason the phone is my mortal enemy. I had to order pizza the other day and I swear calling the pizza place was terrifying for some reason. Maybe I'm associating phone calls with job searching :/3
I just got out of the office late and in a hurry to catch the train. I was in the zone dude, I was in it. I made an huge maintainability improvement on a framework I've worked on during the last year.
I fucking forgot to push and I'm in data corruption/laptop thievery anxiety 😥😥😥😥2
I have a pill anxiety. My two medicines I need to take everyday come in 10-packs, and I have to take two pills of both. So if packs are somehow misaligned, for example there is 8 pills left in pack 1 and 6 left in pack 2, I wait until pack 2 is gone and I throw away pack 1 with two pills remaining.
So I decided to pour all my medicines into two jars so it isn’t immediately obvious how much pills there is. Pill anxiety gone.10
Anxiety in my brain is like Mozart's Lacrimosa is playing out of key and proper arrangement.
So. Fucking. Annoying.6
Currently trying to start a freelancing career and deal with rly bad anxiety and depression at the same time... Not quite sure how to motivate myself to move forward and get some jobs and cash..3
i get a lot of anxiety if i didn't push my code or save somewhere remote, especially if i make a lot of changes
is it just me?9
If you live in the past, then you have depression. If you live in the future, then you have anxiety. If you live in the present, then you have peace.3
I have a phone interview for a summer co op in a half hour!!! Aaah!!! I have so much anxiety but I’m also excited, I wanna finally start WORKING!3
How to deal with anxiety before an interview result when you know the result can be out at any moment? mfs are releasing it in batches and I'm checking my emails a thousand times a day.28
I feel like crying because I couldn't configure ERPNext on windows (Virtual Box). Damn thing showed this error "Already Registered, There were problems" and redirect me to homepage.
Hate this when there are no error codes or no proper documentation.
Tried every possible solution in past 4~5 hours. I'll sleep3
It is 10:54 on a Monday and I have not had a Monster because my drug deal- um doctor, told me off for drinking it (not good for anxiety etc). This shit is tough...8
I was asked to revisit some code yesterday - code that I had written at a much better time in my life. I was productive, I was on top of my project and we were delivering value to the organization.
I'm at a point now where I haven't written any code for months. I've been documenting and designing and arguing with teammates over inane shit. It's been an absolute slog, and I've started looking at what it would take for me to actually quit since I've got a kid on the way, and I've been bringing the stress and anxiety home from work. I've got so much money in options and salary, it's basically impossible for me to leave for better work.
I'd consider this the lowest point in my professional career. Four years of college - where I beat alcoholism and depression (mostly) only to end up at a place that I fucking hate, but cannot leave. It's affecting my family. I've drank more in the past 6 months than I have in my entire life.
And now I have to start repurposing old code to work on a new project that is fucked up 5 ways from Sunday. I honestly don't know how much further I can stretch my professional ethics to keep this shitload of cash flowing into my savings.3
The frontend developers in my company are the reason why I have anxiety. Here are few things that grinds my knees:
1) for a long time in projects, they deleted the auth token from their storage without integrating the logout api. They thought why use an API for that. :)
3) One of them asked me to convert a PATCH request to DELETE cos fuck REST and HTTP methods.
For fuck’s sake. I need to get out of this place.4
I'm noticing that installing a new distro and making it your main distro tends to be very stressful to me.
Here's a couple of reasons why:
There's this anxiety I get that is just crazy, like I need to set this thing up perfectly, meanwhile I have work to do.
And the thing you estimated to take 2 hours at most ends up being a full week.
Work starts to pile up but can't just shake the obsession with setting this thing up.
Another reason is that usually my main distro instance tends to be VERY customized.
So much that when you switch, you need to configure those things again, and troubleshoot a lot.
Troubleshooting isn't a problem in itself. The problem is that you're trying to troubleshoot with a machine that needs troubleshooting.
the shell, the editor, the terminal, the window manager, tmux, the notifications, the custom kb layout. it was all so neatly customized that fixing problems on the machine was manageable.
but without all that I feel like an idiot.
Even something as simple as keeping having youtube music to focus is now intermittent because you need to restart the X server.
Maybe my problem is that I don't do well for bootstrapping.
Anyhow, I'm really stressed right now, but I think it'll be worth it.2
Expecting a job offer from a great company next week. Finally, my anxiety is starting to ease. I can kiss goodbye to a company that doesn't value their employees or doesn't invest in their education or learning.
My motivation is completely gone. Senior developers harbour a culture, where anything new is deemed bad, even though these are not new technologies or ideas but battle tested by the industry, and instead want to keep spending time working on re-occurring issues every month. Leadership is too busy trying to keep up with all the feature requests that they don't care. Hopefully someone will realize it once people start leaving.1
My plan was to potato today.
... But given anxiety, might as well have a minor heart attack and a few panic attacks on the side.
Plus, second day of no proper food seems to be helping that cause greatly too.
At this rate, I'll die of dehydration first. Lol. My greatest regret is missing out on the robot's uprising. Ain't got nobody I love deeply, so at least I don't feel regrets for people I leave behind. Tiz a short meh life I've lived.
Aight. Ms NoRegrets is out.
In case you're stupid, let me clarify: I was being a drama queen. Shall fetch water... soon, hopefully.2
I have my first developer interview next week. I'm really nervous. Its an interview for both a front end role and a php backend role, and they are hiring 9 developers.
I'm a full stack developer, dot net core backend and learning React.js frontend. My html and CSS knowledge is fine but I don't quite have a grasp of js yet. As for php, I know nothing, but the recruiter said they are looking to train someone and I explained that I enjoy learning, not to mention php is very popular so it's a good tool to have knowledge with.
I've been told to look at their site, so I've written a list of about ten aspects of the site that I like and that I would change. From the lack of interactivity to images being larger than necessary, something that could be optimised.
The interview will be an hour and a half long and I'm shitting myself. Im not a confident person as is, plus I suffer from anxiety. I'm mostly worried about being put on the spot with questions like "tell me your best achievement". I will rehearse the obvious questions this weekend.
Doss anyone have any advice? Good experiences, bad experiences etc.7
I was assigned a task to troubleshoot some buggy code. I am a developer and I don’t know how to get started. Does anyone else experience this kind of anxiety? Where you’re asked to apply your skills and suddenly your brain just shuts down and you feel like you know exactly nothing? I’m older than most coders in my field. Onset of some kind of brain disorder?5
Back home from vacations tomorrow.
It wasn't the best time I had but the thought of returning to daily life is already giving me a stomach ache.
Gotta take care of my little pug too, my anxiety about his partial eye keratosis isn't doing great too. Since the caretakers don't apply eye medication regularly.
There's this fear of my productivity before uni begins, I really don't want my vacation to end with me returning without completing my application.
I've still got a lot to do, anyone want to partner up with me ? I've still got load balancing and failover mechanisms which I have no real-time experience with (excluding api related stuff). I've got a general idea to use nginx.
Serious question guys.
How do you deal with stress of f-ing up at work?
I had to upgrade a whole postgresql stack today. Most of the upgrade went fine, but... Restoring a backup by pg_basebackup lead to an unusable database (would not replicate), had to apologize to the client and make last second modifications as disaster recovery, and all the while, ever since the DB didn't start up, to when I eventually went back to work and was no longer alone on the task, I was going through a crippling anxiety...
I... Love the job, but incidents like this... Make me doubt my future as anything more than a mediocre sysadmin...16
So, I interviewed at one of the biggest investment banks for a role of software developer.
And I can't get over my interview anxiety. Shit it sucks. Breakup has made me really passive.
Anyway, it sucks to be grilled at some stupid problem solving question on a tree. I started the approach, and arrived at a wrong solution. Yeah, fuck it. Cause you always have to have a right answer. Fml.
Any credits for thinking and atleast trying to apply everything I know? Apparently no.
So only way to get hired now, is learn problem solving. * Basic problem solving -_- *
Practice 6 months or a year so you can clear the interview and then go and work on multi fucking threading.
Also, after DS algo, also prepare to answer framework, specific questions, then language specific tricky shit.
Interviews these days be like, trick questions, trick questions and then typical already existing problems on the internet under the name of problem solving.
Will I be eligible for doing multi threading then?
I think I'm depressed!1
Get over my anxiety and get an actual job in infosec, so I can stop hearing "can you hack my BF facebook" requests.
The computers and network seem to be CRAWLING today. Which is great, gives me plenty to time to imagine the many ways I could get myself fired for doing the deployments the way I am. 😅💀
Nobody has any use from a 80% finished project (so not finished at all) except it was a lot of time and money to get to that point. Oh boy I need to make progress on about 500 different projects to get them to a useful stage.
Also very important lesson: Dont have your anxiety take over when facing the "omg I have a 6 digit number of things on my 2do list" because you can't say no to the "awesome" ideas you have.
Also: I have made a rule for myself that prevents me from starting/working on a side project when I have important deadlines on main projects2
My mind seems to be a mess. I think it's stress related. I have really high anxiety and its making me make stupid mistakes.
For example I used instanceof to check the class in a number of places in code. Originally the class I was checking was a base class. Later on I decided to extend the class but I didn't change my instanceof's so they became always true. This went to prod and only was caught due to severe slowness on a part of the app. Failing PHP 101 seriously. I know how instanceof works just couldn't focus enough to catch my mistake.3
Again my anxiety hiting me bad.
I had an internal meeting today with this team where my new project depends on. The goal was to understand about the impacts we can have on thier services.
Instead everything was different, everyone just went on talking and I couldn't understand. There were seniors in the call but this is the part of the project I am responsible for.
I was the junior but still have 3 years of experience and expected to do these things, at least I expect it from myself.
I don't understand everyone around me is so normal, no one's like me. They work, people trust them, people ask them for help. I am on the other hand just a below average person trying to do things I don't understand.
I prepared for this meeting, but the things that were being discussed, I couldn't understand although they were simple.
How do people not feel anxious? Should I not think about this meeting at all? If I think about what went wrong then it ia only me, I couldn't understand things well. How to deal with that?
I literally want to cry but I am a big girl now, it's hard for me to cry. :( I am too sad and habe no confidence. My senior muat be thinking she does know anything, she's incompetent. :(5
1. No sugary snacks (ugh, gonna be brutal).
2. Find a Node project I can become a regular contributor to (because I haven't had an excuse to really learn Node yet).
3. Learn to sit back and stop worrying about whatever the big new thing is in the industry. Be content to read up on it and see how it plays out.
That third one can fit my laid back personality anyway, but it's so hard not to get caught up in worry when things like Node, Blockchain, and AI become such big crazes -- and then the hype dies down.
Of course, I do still want to learn and use Node, but anxiety about being left behind isn't a factor anymore. So that's a plus.
As a long time Ubuntu user, last month I upgraded from Xenial to Bionic to try the new Gnome based desktop.
At first I thought it was a good transition, everything was working fine, beautiful UI, nice animations, so I installed all my tools and started the real work... then the problems started. The memory usage was always very high and only getting higher, the animations were stuttering and laggy, and it was having an unrecoverable freeze at least twice a week. Searching the web I was seeing more and more people complaining about freezes, lags, bugs, memory leaks, password input field bugs... damn, how I missed Unity! That was it, Gnome Shell made me miss Unity more and more.
This week I installed Unity 7 and purged Gnome Shell from Bionic. Now I'm happy again!
It's so good to be free of the anxiety caused by the lack of stability of the system, so good to know that the system will not break or freeze if I'm doing a resource intensive task. Now he sh** is working fast and stable, and I'm here wondering why such a good DE could be dumped for something so buggy like Gnome.1
Tldr: fuck me!
Ok this is only marginally dev-related, but I need to let off some steam as if I was valve. And this is, as I understand, the general purpose of this app.
So: fuck my university, I really love what I study, but the over all circumstances are far from ideal. In addition to that the pressure from the exams and the workload that is expected really stress me out to an extend where I suffer from anxiety and stress related health issues, which again makes me less able to do a good job, which again stresses me out more. This is an incredibly hard time for me but I am sure I will make it. Thanks for listening.3
I really don't like the anxiety when Xcode crashes, I need to force quit it and really really hope that my code is saved...
My first was in the toilet, I had to clean up fast and go to my laptop to catch up the idea, when it worked I realized I will love this field.
After few years, with this stress and anxiety. I am slowly having my next big epiphany that this is not my job.2
I don't know if someone has noticed but I haven't been on DevRant lately. It's not that the community is awesome. In the last month or two, I've had a blast of an experience here. I've just been avoiding screens, specifically texts in screens. I think something snapped on my head last week. Here's why:
As I've said in other rants/comments, I study history, and at the moment, I haven't found any career that has to read more than this one. Sometimes I've had to read about 1200 pages in less than three days. Last week I had to read 6 books which accounted for about 3500 pages. I was actively reading more than 600 pages a day. Now, this was for an investigation, and each of these reads had to be properly summarised with their respective arguments, thesis, etc. So I intensely read everything before Thursday, the day in which I had to present my work, in which I referenced about 10 books.
Apart from that, daily, I spent 4 hours coding. That's been the minimum I've done daily since I started learning.
I wasn't too tired. I'm used to read a lot, and coding is always fun. But the problem came in Friday when I woke up with a strange headache that spanned from my eyes to the back of my ears. Hurting especially on the sides of my forehead.
It eventually dissipated, but whenever I read something, the ache slowly came back. Loud noises and bright lights also brought it back. So you could imagine, everytime I tried to read a Rant, comment, etc, the headache came back. The same for coding and reading. For fucks sake I feel like I'm fucking crippled.
And no, the pain isn't the worst. Pain is pain and you can't do anything about it. The worst is that I'm developing some anxiety here. In all this time I have been learning daily nonstop. Coding was something I craved for everyday. Now I'm fucking wasting entire days in non-productive activities. I'm losing my fucking time here guys!
I'm afraid I have some anxiety problem with time. I've already fucking wasted entire years, now I don't want to continue wasting them and push my goals further away, I want to get to my goals as soon as I can because time and life can't be stopped and once time is lost, you can't fucking get it back. And, considering I'm still 21, I do notice this feeling is somehow irrational, but for fucks sake, I'm wasting fucking LIFE :(
Been fighting with PDD (dysthymia) for about 7 years now, does any of you suffer from mental disorder (depression, anxiety, things like that) and has some advice to share?4
Btw guys... It isn't a real burn out if you get better by yourself in weeks or months without lots of medication... A burn out is a type of depression with lots of health problems associated, anxiety, intestinal problems, bolimy or anorexy... Constant pain, stress, muscular atrophy...7
I currently have to finish some intermediate report for a big international research project which my CEO forced us into because of the incentives. But he doesn't care for any of the research and just want to get the money.
Due to my inexperience I promised some things for this project, which now prove to be untenable. And now I realize all this and I get to deal with small anxiety attacks (especially today).
I just want to say "fuck you all" and go, but this no real option for me. That makes me totally exhausted, especially because it feels like a personal failure. :/2
High school students today have the same anxiety levels of as insane asylum mental patients during the 1950's.
No wonder I feel like I'm going insane.
That moment when you realize you've basically been having a protracted anxiety attack for two months. Should uh...build character or something, right?
How difficult is it to get an entry level programming job without a CS degree?
I'm gettin fed up with all of my shitty university's bullshit. They constantly try to make a fool out of me, the classes are crap, most of them have nothing to do with programming, and every single fucking day i am constantly anxious about my upcoming exams (that are nearly impossibly hard) and I can never know for sure whether the info that my teachers give me is correct or not.
I am seriously considering dropping out of this fuckfest, but I don't know if I can start making a living after that.16
Oh the sweet anxiety that comes with job hunt. May the odds be in my favour this month as i attempt to crawl back into the corporate world (remote of course)3
When you spend so much time at an event you start to get anxiety near the end of it because you have no idea how many unread emails you have waiting for you.
Was hoping someone with experience can provide insight or advice on this. It's a long one, so thanks in advance to everyone who took time.
Received a great job offer a few weeks ago and was told I'd get a contract in January. They seemed pretty switched on about the kind of problems I might be facing and even raised my asking price, so I'm definitely not interested in looking elsewhere.
However, I started getting interview requests Thursday last week, one of which is for next Thursday.
Received and signed contract on Friday. Haven't received copy with employer's signature yet, but it's still early so np yet. However, I still haven't replied to the interview requests.
Should I turn down the requests or accept them and hope I get the contract back in time to cancel? I mentioned to the recruiter that I was receiving interest from other companies and I wanted to seal the deal with this company, but didn't receive response yet advising me whether it's cool to keep my options open.
I don't wanna look dodgy to the dudes I signed with in the unlikely event they find out I accepted interviews. I also don't wanna come across as combative or a pain to work with by pressuring them to sign soon.
However, I also don't wanna have a panic attack in the middle of revision season if I don't hear from these guys for a week (they get pretty busy at times). I feel like I could be sentencing myself to short-term anxiety (and I'm already anxious af in final year) if I start turning down offers before I have a signed contract.
today started as a great sunny day. but really my nightmare began a couple of nights ago. i installed gnome on linux by accident, all i wanted to do was create a desktop link to a webapp in my files. Since then, I have been offered updates by ubuntu. well today i couldnt pass up the offer. and after the update my broadcom driver stopped working. has anyone dealt with the bullshit that is broadcom on linux?! i wanted to reset the connection so i click to stop using the driver. window comes up says its out of date. now the driver has completely disappeared! wtf!!! now i need a dark wizard and to sacrifize my first born to get internet on my baby back.... fuuuuuuuu
plz help if you know..
stuck at work so wont be able to try till tonight. anxiety is real6
Being jobless for a long time is frustrating, but when you're now in a situation where you really need a job within the month, life has become a horror story. My anxiety is off the charts. I can't even focus on learning and improving my skills. I don't have any savings to be able to afford more time.6
A whole lot of anxiety and confusion as to what I wanted and liked. A few interviews later this was then calmed down by the realisation that most interviews are the same and that you in time learn what you're supposed to want and like in the industry.
PS. Not really, but I learned what things are desired by employers and what skills are really required in the real world. These things are sometimes hard to grasp for CS students and graduates. It's like when one was in gymnasiet (Swedish highschool, I guess) and would have needed a few lectures in normal grown-up stuff like paying taxes, etc. DS.1
Is there an acceptable way to deal with API secrets in an Android app that can cure the anxiety that is slowly taking over me during the past few hours that I am researching about it? Thnx.
p.s. I am not sure how people that work in security can go on with their lives and not have suicidal tendencies10
I hate relatable/anxiety/cringe posts, but I need to talk about this.
Sometimes when I try to sign and focus on hitting notes and making it sound good, I get a sudden flashback to something weird I did in the past.
It's either something extremely cringey/embarassing or just plain out asshole'y, mostly from when i was a teen.
It's weird how sudden and vivid the memory of these actions get. One second I'm singing, the other I'm clenching my stomach thinking "oh god why did I do that?"
I also make the signing turn into making weird fucking noises and going very off pitch.
Some people find it easy to let go of the past. Not this guy.
Walking past a conversation with people and over hearing the term CNN, thinking its about Convolution Neural Networking. Long story short. Im standing here between people discussing news resources. Fml
Got Aa job interview offer from a far location via my site contact page. I don't even know what to do or say. Social Anxiety sucks. I saw their sophisticated site. How do I not feel dwarfed? I don't know how to respond. Please help.1
So in the past 3 days I've almost had 6 heart attacks, I've been giving public speeches for random classes at my school as a practise.
Today I'm going to some capital city finals shit whatever you call it and I have to give a public speech to fuc knows how many people.
I wrote a speech about lies in 700 words, speech has to be 5 minutes, oh yeah, in English. It's not my native...
Man, I am not ok at all Xd, they had to choose the one who has anxiety dosorders.2
I missed my scrum today. Missed the team meeting with VP, he asks everyone what are they working on, a good way to get in touch with peers.
Reason being, when I was sleeping the family started screaming in the morning for 2 hours they went on. I got little stressed and my eyes are still swollen.
Is it the valid reason not attending the meetings. I'm working for a promotion and 1 day in 2 weeks miss my scrum due to some reasons. What do you people think, should I stop struggling for promotion now and find another job?4
Why everytime we have meetings with management people, I think these people are so disconnected with their reality, they look so much indulged in their work. Whenever there is a meeting with them I get anxious thinking they might get to know I am a weak developer.
The language is same for everyone, it looks fake and looking at this makes me anxious.
Anyone feels the same? I need help.5
How do you deal with the anxiety coming from the problems that you have to fix on a system that was assembled very quickly due to management incompetence and is already in production?2
Programming anxiety is when one of the similar methods could be 1% better in performance and you're stunned by such a tough choice, which one to use/test first.
I am anxious about the phones audio not playing through the headphones, but through to the speaker, when connecting in public. Even when the Bluetooth icon shows connected.
I have to remove the headphones and check, every time.
It is only me ?6
Is it just me or anyone else feels anxious due to work, even when there is no reason to be.
I have 2 3 meetings each day, whenever I know that I have to speak in the meeting about something I get anxious. This anxiety can hit anytime, maybe 1 hour or 10 hours before the meeting.
I feel like whatever I am going to say is dumb, people will judge me. No matter whatever people suggest on this, that no on's actually thinking about you or asking questions is good, this anxiety doesn't go.
Please help if you had same kind of problem. Share your scenarios of you were in anything like this.2
Timelines will shift because of my incomplete code. My senior will be pissed that I took so many days and delivered a simple code with no junits with a lot of conditions missing.
I am doing nothing. I am. preparing for a switch but I am feeling anxious again. I earlier also got a feedback that I ask for the feedbacks or suggestions very late, in this case my senior kept on saying that he'll review directly. This code review was expected to have problems but now the timelines are set. Although I knew that the iterations will be there, I did not put those in the timelines, I could not voice it out in front of my manager. I suck.
I never got a positive feedback here. NEVER. Looks like 2 people I need to closely work with are always pointing out the problems and I have lost my confidence and anxiety hits me hard.5
Have you ever managed to land a job a d immediately realised: what have I done?!
I start an IT tech and web dev for. 100+ user company as the one and only IT guy. Immediate anxiety.3
How do you guys deal with the anxiety of everything just going to shit? I keep having this feeling that my applications are held together by paper clips and chewing gum.
Not just my code, but the language, framework, compiler/interpreter, OS, and the hundreds of libs holding it all together. Like.. really? If this was a physical building, I would not want to live in it! haha3
Well this is a comforting alternative to the stress and anxiety I feel just before i start to spiral perilously out of control...
I'm not burning out I'm just getting my flame on while I level up. 🔥🔥🔥🤣
I have anxiety attacks and i wanted to get my mind of things. I took 2 internships at once so that my mind would stay focused. Turned out that was really the worst idea i ever came up with.
I was fretting a lot. People calling me from different time zones at 1-2 am midnight asking me about updates. Things went completely messed up faught with my friends.
So i messaged my boss. I told him i have some problems in life i need time to sort it. And believe me he said take a month off.
He is really the coolest boss i know (out of the 4 i ever worked dor 😅)
Guys a lesson don't overdo the things you love. You want to make it a good experience. But making it unbearable to yourself can make you hate your love for coding.7
I have a problem. I can't do anything.
I can't really get started with the new path of software development. I have lots of stuff (like *tidying the room* or *exercise* or something good for my life) do but in the end all the things I have to do are tangled up. So learning usually gets in the pile of tangled up shit.
I try to use organisational tools. But my focus is zero.
Mental health issues don't help.
I think I would put at good use a few coding buddies, mentors, whatever... Self paced courses dont work for me. Bonus point of notgettingshitdone if online course.
I have low self esteem and I'm not trying to hide it.
I hate myself to the fucking core.7
What do you think about autogenic training by Johannes Heinrich Schultz or meditation in general ?
Do you use it ?
I got back to meditation, autogenic training and walking and I feel better, it helps me fight with my anxiety.1
I need help!
I'm in my first job out of college. Been here for more than 10 months now and there hasn't been any talk of promotion or bonus etc.
I don't know how to start this conversation with my manager.
I accidentally came across a Slack chat which said that a person is getting a raise and a bonus so I know that it's not like there is nothing like that but I also now understand that all these things happen on the down low and are not communicated openly or whatever.
I'm not sure what to do here.
One thing that came to my mind was getting a higher job offer (which I know I can) from some other company and show that but rather than that, I'd love to just sit and talk about it with my manager because we're on good terms and I haven't heard or been told that I need to improve or anything.
All this is coming up in my mind because some of my friends in their companies got promotions after 6-8 months of working at their companies. So, it is kind of giving me anxiety now because there has not even been a discussion about this.
Also, I am not close enough to anyone on my team that has been here long enough. So, I can't just bounce this off of them.
HOW DO I START THIS CONVERSATION? ARGH?7
Is it just me where does slack have some of the stupidest names for emojis imaginable? Slightly smiling face? What the fuck is that? I thought the point of emojis was to make digital communication less awkward.
And you're telling me everytime I type a :-) I'm only slightly fucking smiling?! Do you realize I already have enough trouble with communication as it is?! The devs that slack use their own product so much they've become social Hermits beyond the point we thought possible as developers.1
Seeing articles and stories and rants here of other devs gives me anxiety when they mention CS concepts and algorithms and stuff. My college teaches IT and not CS, so none of that more complex stuff. I begin to fear my hiring potential without that knowledge.
Luckily, there's online resources everywhere.7
Well. After my Wooting keyboard broke and this shitty corsair keyboard broke, I am now keyboardless.
Seriously, there doesn't seem to be a reliable keyboard on the market. Everything fucking sucks.
I get to wait 36 hours before I can even work. Fuck everything, my anxiety is going to have a field day.14
How do I know if I am pushing my work output too hard? How can I let my team know I'm not trying to make anyone look bad?
My CEO uses me as an example often of what a hard working dev looks like. I personally just enjoy working on the product. I don't like attention and I can't help but feel like I'm getting too much spotlight opposed to the other devs. 🤷4
Spent about 5 hours today writing unit tests before needing to immediately drop them to work on something else that I didn't realize was urgent because the single email talking about it was sent to a different inbox.
Then, 2 hours after not being able to figure it out, I also had to drop that to try and solve an even more urgent issue.
Everyone keeps asking me if something will work and it's outside of my scope of knowledge. I keep saying I don't know but they keep asking. I can not go 5 minutes without someone messaging me asking if X will work or if Y is done or how Z is set up.
I DON'T KNOW. Christ in heaven take a hint, I'm in over my head here. I've been nauseously overwhelmed for hours and I feel the anxiety creeping in. This shit isn't cool.
Work isn't normally like this but it's been inching closer. I worked hard and raised some eyebrows and now everything is dumped on my head. People ask me DAILY question I have no idea how to answer. They ask me about systems I've never interacted with. They ask me about configuration I've never seen. They ask me about capabilities so far removed from reality it's asinine to even estimate on.
I'm also the only developer in my role. There's other devs but I do all the work for my part of the project, including massive broad features.
Is this normal? I'm a mid level developer for what it's worth, and that's a relatively new development. I was a junior not a too long ago. If this is what's to be expected him gonna need some fuckin meds like NOW7
Completed all interview stages with a recruitment firm last month. Passed all the stages. They reach out to me to begin with. They reach out to me saying they are currently waiting to hear back from the partner firm whom they shared my profile with but I was successful in the final stage. I asked the recruiter what's up like a month ago and she said she was waiting to hear back from the partner. It's been 4 weeks now and I don't want to seem desperate so I am holding off on emailing the recruiter again. Do u guys think it is a bust offer? The company is prominent here and I feel they wouldn't make me go through all the stages of interview if they didn't have a placement for me. I am so impatient coz I am basically out of a job rn, haven't been paid in the second month and man I need this job coz I know they pay well. What do I doooo???1
npm docs for package.json containing comma on both separate and on the same line is the reason I'm having anxiety at 10 o'clock in the morning https://docs.npmjs.com/files/...4
I know there will always be new things to learn... But...
How do you guys deal with that overwhelming feeling that strikes when you start to think about how many things are there to study/research/understand yet?
Do you even feel it at all?2
So yeah, right now I feel 50-50% about this whole thing.3
ColdFusion and ZKOSS framework documentation has been my reading for this first week at the new job.
The nervousness and anxiety is starting to settle down but won't be gone for a while I think. I'm excited and eager to start actually working on our product to both prove my worth (after being selected over 40 or so other applicants) and calm the hell down about my competence.1
My touch keyboard on this phone cant keep up w/ how fast I feel I need to type, so everytime after I blindly hit post I have to go back in my message, fix typo, then post, just to notice another f*@&ing typo I missed and have to do it all again. I know I should just slow down and do right in the first place, but when I try I get like this little internal anxiety that makes me uncomfortable and forces me to go faster. Maybe too much coffee...1
Just got back from my interrailling trip across Europe! Are there any folks from Florence ? French Riviera ? Paris ?
It was awesome and I'm kind of sad I didn't have more time to meet some of you there!
It's also nice to shut off all the tech and nerdy jokes you laugh at before starting to cry and falling to anxiety because understanding them means you have no life
Hope some of you will travel to my country too 😎5
Even though I was offered a future position (from intern part time to junior full time) I still worry that I'm not doing enough. Some days I just don't have work to do and all the higher ups are in meetings. Mix that with the bit of social anxiety and having trouble approaching people and I feel like I look like a slacker, even though I really do want to work on stuff and improve.
What can I do to wow the higher ups with some consistency?4
oh shit oh shit oh shit...
Do to my horrible anxiety about covid-19 I have not been calling into stands up in the last 2 weeks or doing much work.
My boss just messaged asking if everything is okay.
First msg I said yes and sorry was having techinal difficulty.
Then I msged him back saying it would better if we talked. I can see he is on a conference call so no response.
Should I be honest or list fake technical reasons?
He is pretty cool boss but only been there since October.11
If this doesn't give you anxiety, I don't know what will...
Such a hard year. So many personal trials and tribulations. Only good part, the boyfriend is super supportive(and damn sexy) but Lord knows I am very close to a break down. Dangerously close.15
Chamomile, coding, and clonazepam.
Days like these make me feel like I’ve never had an anxiety disorder... until I open a *.java.
Nah ‘ma stay the fuck away.
Getting cold-feeted and didn't join a coding group in high school. I ended up stopping coding for a good 3 years, which could have been spent for so much learning... :/
Alright I know what you’re thinking. “Bubbles, again? You’re doin this aga-“ yes I am.
As some of you that tune into my rants on the daily should know, I have the tendency to want to LEARN and just throw my thoughts in here cause you all understand me more than most people. WELL IM BACK AT IT AGAIN, and with the anxiety of when to do things.
I’ve been preparing my C# skills for a job and currently working on projects (one at a time) to put in a portfolio and just help me learn by making cool things. BUT I also have books I want to go through and read to teach myself C and Security stuff which is spread out in three different books. But I don’t want it to seem like I haven’t put my time in with C# and took my time with it. And I just idk when a good time to transition into all that. Which I feel like after a few more C# projects I’ll be okay. Then go through those books in the order I have chosen.
I get a lot of enjoyment out of watching people on YouTube program and talk about what they’re doing. Idk if that’s just me.
I feel like I’ve been making some real progress on my project though. I’m quite proud of myself
I also have a small story saved for tomorrow so stay tuned for a barely entertaining short story
I hope yall have a great day
Hey Everyone I’m new to coding and I just wanted to ask what I should be do when feeling overwhelmed and burned out from code, I have anxiety and ADHD, I am not able to focus for very long.7
Waiting on my supervisor this week to let me know what my responsibilities will be for the coming months. They are handing off the app that I built from scratch to an offshore team...
I need help.
I don't know if I can do this anymore.
As much as I love coding, what I do and making new things, I feel like I can't handle it as well as I used to be able to. I was diagnosed with treatment-resistant depression and anxiety (amongst other things) and it's taking a toll on me. I can't work on problems as well as I used to. I overlooks simple errors and typos and spend hours trying to fix it. I can't focus on anything or even remember what I was doing a minute ago. I seem to constantly miss deadlnes. My performance has taken a nose-dive and I'm in constant fear of losing my job. I'm the breadwinner for my household (dad doesn't work, mom doesn't make enough) and much of my salary goes towards my family and rent.
I have a couple of attempts, and one of my recent ones got me fired from my previous job. I've tried to get help. I've gone to therapy, I'm on a shit-load of anti-depressants and trying to change the outlook of my life, but nothing seems t work.
I don' know what to do. I needed to vent out. What do you think I should do?4
So, for about two days ago I got hit with a crazy anxiety attack. My chest started to tighten and things seemed dark at the time.
I'm a CS freshmen this year and I find myself struggling with some subjects. I felt like I've dissapointed a lot of people that I really cared. Anxiety attacks have been happening recently. Do you guys have any advice for dealing with anxiety attacks ?
*sorry for the bad english4
Im not sure if I can put a awk love thing here but it happened at work and this is a rant so here we go:
I told my coworker that I like someone at work and they promised they wouldn't tell a soul. I was trying to work in the kitchen today and this ass ( sorry for swearing but I'm mad) says really loudly OH WHO DO U LIKE HUH IS IT FROM BLAH BLAH COMPANY HUH?
The crush was there and so were his bffs. And they heard.. u could hear this from the north pole all the way to the south pole.. Uranus, mars, IT GOES ON...... I felt so embrassed and had an anxiety attack. And maybe im dramatic but I didn't know how to deal with this situation and I'm a shy person so I was so angry my coworker betrayed my trust and told people and like now people r teasing me. I can't even look at my crush .... I was friends with my crushes bff ... I was too embrassed to say anything.... Sigh
My crush has a partner. It's not right to act IN A PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT PEOPLE.
what do I even do omg. How do I even GO ON FROM HERE.
I NEED A NEW JOB A NEW IDENTITY A NEW LIFE6
I've done a social anxiety test to find not-so-surprising results. I shared that to a group of programmers then hm, that's a lot of anxious people. Are we socially anxious naturally or what? are you guys socially anxious even?8
Help!!! I've been experiencing a withdrawal from programming for several months! I want/need to get back into the loop again! I stopped working on personal projects and taking online courses or learning languages, frameworks and tools. I get distracted after writing 2 lines of my Go practice project. Please, I lost my hyperfixation on programming, which is causing me depression, anxiety and guilt.
Has some of you lost your interest temporarily and returned to programming again? I'd like to know what brought you back, what made your hyperfixation return.10
There is an applicant for a dev position coming in today for an interview and a short coding exam. I'm looking forward to walking by the meeting room while they are doing the exam and seeing the anxiety on their face while I give a completely useless thumbs up.
Hmm...code compiled. I've earned a coffee break.
if I'm lucky, I'll be using a devrant stress ball!
Otherwise, I once made this paddle ball game to help with concentration and anxiety, I use that and if that fails I'll go unload my brain doing something else, and come back.
Alright , I've been having palpitation sometimes and I've been pretty stressed out . Is this anxiety and does anyone have something similar ?2
Why does devRant show I have 6 unread notifications?
I cleared the cache. Even downloaded the mobile app to check whether it was only a problem with the web-app.
No, that number is still there. The mobile app claims it is the comments section. I scrolled down to 2019 ( no, I haven't been all that active ) and still no unread notifications.
Why didn't you think of putting up an 'unread tab' when you were creating all those tabs on the mobile app? Please add an unread tab 🙏
Also, the read and unread markers in the dark mode could have a little more darker contrast difference in the dark mode. I don't know about light mode, because I don't use it ( but I could check once I get notifications from this rant; I'm turning light mode on for a brief while to check this )
I haven't had unread-anxiety before, but I guess I have it now ( not really though )23
Too early in the year for goals so far, but I'll give it a shot. Here's what I'm gunning for in the short-term:
Week 85 - 2018 Dev/Coding Goals:
- Continue educating myself in the Rust programming language (I feel like I dropped the ball there last year, Rust is easy to get programmer's block because it's syntax isn't always clear what should be done with it and/or why, the references. Ugghh fml).
- Get feature parity of PYXReloaded with it's predecessor, and get most of the planned features implemented. Friends of mine really want this and like screencaps I've sent already. It's a project I've been working on with @Gianlu for the past few days.
Week 85 - 2018 General/Personal Goals:
- Get over my motivational issues.
- Get over my depression/loneliness
- Get over my social anxiety.
I'm trying to better myself, both in coding and personal life. I fucking love this community. I used to use Reddit to find posts exactly like the ones here, but this is wayyy better and has everything all in one place.
Have a prosperous 2018, guys. Remember not to look at what you want to get done in just 365 days. You need to see the big picture.
I hate so much RStudio that it gives me anxiety attacks whenever I try to debug something with it. What a fucking nightmare1
Currently still working on this one. Interning at the sugardaddy for dutch students. Have a great team there, but the whole research thing that my university demands me to do is on my mind so damn much that it takes all my joy from the internship. It feels like it prevents me from learning things that truly matter to me, like my extreme anxiety of even doing any form of coding. I just want to be an IT teacher/lecturer ;¬;
Have a hackathon starting in 12 hours and have no ideas rn. Kinda freaking out, so would love it if you guys could help me out with some ideas! My team includes 3 computer science juniors, and we've worked with Java, Python and frontend and backend web dev frameworks.