Who the fuck invented the glorified pile of shit people call laravel? Is this actually used in PROD for anything else than load testing a monitoring server by creating loads of error messages?
OOP exists for a reason, not to create bazillions of classes with static methods.
Dump that shit ffs!

Never worked with it, but considering the person I see raving about it the most thought classes all had to be instantiated as an object exactly once at the start of each script and globaled into existence wherever called (instead of creating new objects using the class), this doesn’t surprise me for some reason.

Had to teach the same boss about constants and foreach.

Personally I really enjoy working with Laravel and I think it’s really amazing + I really like tools like php artisan, but I can understand that you don’t like it.

Plus it comes with clobber hardwired to the framework. Why the fuck would I need my PROD server to have the ability to output an inspiring quote? How much other junk is hidden in it?

Shit, I just started new project on it, due to somebody suggestion.
The doc look clean and first implementation easy and effortless...I think I'll stick with it for a while before ranting about it.

What else would you suggest as alternative?

@deviloper I can recommend using the Yii2 framework, because:

- it comes with a code generator (called Gii). You create your database schema in the DB with foreign keys and everything and your PHP models are generated from the tables. After generating the models, you can generate CRUD controllers from the models and the required views for the controllers. Your MVC code base is setup in half an hour tops.

- it's routing is sane and automatic with the option to override single routes. The url "domain.tld/user/view" automatically points to the function "UserController::actionView()" without any route configuration.

- There are no services or middlewares making the execution path pretty clean and easy to follow per default. But you can modify the behaviour of the controllers with so called behaviours.

(part 2 follows)

part 2

- the Yii2 documentation is better (personal opinion, I found solutions to my Yii2 problems faster than for Laravel related problems)

I prefer a textual documentation over videos (laracasts). But this is a personal preference, if you like videos more, this point is invalid for you.

- Yii2 framework upgrades are less painful than in Laravel and every change is documented with instructions what has to be done after the upgrade. (Like "function x is deprecated after this update, use function y instead")

- the Laravel contains too many global functions which breaks the object-orientation.

- Too many quirks of Laravel makes it hard for the IDE to assist you. You need to create an "ide_helper.php" with the artisan command to get some kind of support. You still cannot follow it to the class which implements the function you intend to use.

There is also a Yii3 in development but I haven't checked that out yet. So my recommendation only applies to Yii2.