Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Happy April Fool's!
- Windows 8 == Best OS
- Apple is fairly priced
- PHP > C++
- Java === JavaScript
- facebook > devrant
- Github useless, use .zip
- Comic Sans best terminal font
- Nobody needs a web developer because Wordpress much better
- Linux is for virgins21 -
Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄5
-
Wow this one deserves a rant. Where should I even begin? I got a new job for over half a year now doing work in an agency. We're building websites and online shops with Typo3 and Shopware (not my dream, but hey). All fine you might think BUT...
1) I have been working on the BIGGEST project we have all by myself since I started working at this company. No help, nobody cares.
2) If something goes wrong all the shit falls back to me like "wHy DiDnT yoU WoRk MoRE?". Seriously? How should one dev cover a project that's meant for at least two or three.
3) The project was planned four years ago (YES that's a big fat FOUR) and sat there for 3,5 years - nobody gave a fuck. I got into the company and immediately got the sucky shit project to work on.
4) I was promised some time to get familiar with the projects and tech we use and "pick something I like most to get started". Well that never happened.
5) I was also promised not to talk directly to our customers. Well, each week I was bombarded with insults, a shitload of work and nonsense by our customers because (you guessed it) I was obligated to attend meetings.
6) The scheduled time for a meeting was 30 minutes, sometimes they just went on for over two hours. Fml.
7) Project management. It does not exist. The company is just out to get more and more clients, hires more god damn managers and shit and completely neglects that we might need more devs to get all this crap finished. Nope, they don't care. By the way: this is not like a 200 employee company, it's more like 15 which makes it even sadder to have 4 managers and 3 devs.
8) We don't use trello (or anything to keep track of our "progress"), nobody knows the exact scope of the project, because it was planned FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO.
9) They planned to use 3 months on this project to get it finished (by the way it's not just an online shop, it has a really sophisticated product configurator with like 20 dependencies). Well, we're double over that time period and it is still not finished.
10) FUCK YOU SHOPWARE
11) The clients are super unsatisfied with our service (who would have guessed). They never received official documents from us (that's why nobody knows the scope), nor did they receive the actual screen design of the shop so we just have to make it up on the go. Of course I mean "I" by "we", because appearently it is my job to develop, design and manage this shit show.
12) My boss regularly throws me in front of the bus by randomly joining meetings with my client telling them the complete opposite of things that we discussed internally (he doesn't know anything about this stupid project)
13) FUCK YOU COLLEAGUES, FUCK YOU COMPANY, FUCK YOU SHOPWARE AND FUCK YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS.
14) Oh btw. the salary sucks ass, it's barely a couple of bucks above minimum wage. Don't ask me why I accepted the offer. I guess it was better than nothing in the meantime.
Boy that feels good. I needed that rant. But hey don't get me wrong. I get that dev jobs can be hard and sucky, but this is beyond stupidity that I can bear. I therefore applied for a dev job in research at a university in my dream country. Nice colleagues, interesting projects, good project management. They accepted me, gave me a good offer and I can happily say that in 6-7 weeks my current company can go fuck themselves (nobody knows the 10.000+ lines of code but me). Just light it up and watch it burn!19 -
We passed a milestone: 250,000 phpunit testcases.
If it weren't for a heavily parallelized build pipeline which splits it out over 20 servers, it would take about 7.5 hours to complete.
Not hating on PHP, and without tests it would truly be hell...
But still, fucking hell, we outgrew PHP.
Not having a solid type system just means you either accept more bugs, or write thousands of unit tests to guard all the foundational cracks in the system.
On the bright side, I get a coffee break after every commit 😄22 -
[Certified CMS Of Doom™ moment]
Ah yes, the good old "generate a huge CSV just to know how many rows there are"
15 -
Behold the PHP pyramid of doom!
You know what kind of code is coming... a big pile of shite! 😍
Obviously you have to return by reference (&) because of performance and memory reasons. ☝️🤓
Man... I've seen code...
23 -
It was fucking weird when our teacher in web programming class told to make a PHP page but he forgot to give us root access to Apache server and most importantly more than half of the class didn't know what the fuck a web server was and what is Apache.
Rest in peace college degree.1 -
My worst dev experience in 2021 has been a PHP-based CMS developped by lobotomized, single-celled organisms incapable of coherent thoughts.
A CMS even worse than WorstPress.
200k lines of "code", no use of packages, multiple entrypoints, no namespacing, all dependencies loaded by "include" at random places and everything is dependent of every thing else... a complete mess.
One could call it the butterfly effect CMS. Adding a space could completely crash the application.
At this point I've almost developped terminal eye cancer...5 -
!rant
Let's take a moment to appreciate interested and enthousiastic non-developers who really want to learn a programming language.
I am studying Medical IT at my college and most of my classmates aren't coming from an IT background.
We're currently working with Java, PHP, JavaScript and some require Node for their semester projects.
Some of my classmates approach me when they're stuck while coding and I try to teach them as much as possible so they understand what they are doing wrong and how to fix it.
I also show them how they can optimise their code step by step and they love it!
As a classmate told me yesterday:
"It's always so much fun working with you. I come up with a small problem, but I end up learning so much more about programming when solving a problem with you. I appreciate that."
It's a mindset I've learned when I was doing my developer apprenticeship back in the day. One of my colleagues told me: "if they want your help because they need a quick fix, tell them to kiss your ass. If you know they've already tried everything they could and ask you specifically because they want to understand what they are doing wrong, they are future developers with great potential, so go teach them."
May the force be with you, my enthousiastic little non-devs ❤️6 -
Ah yes, write your own fucking website crawler in PHP and deoptimize so hard that it uses some gigabytes of RAM and takes about 1 hour to crawl the very own website it's running on.
Oh and don't forget to download every single image and video file in order to "crawl" it for extremely valuable text content.
What a genius move! I'm really impressed.7 -
We can compile, transpile, and do all sorts of fucky internet things through an entire development pipeline and then troubleshoot through all sorts of hackery and dev sorcery to output html.
Or I can just index.php and be done with it.
I dunno man, I dig frontend and using the popular js libs to put shit online and be done without having to deal with the fuckery that is wasm or use something similar to Rust to bring shit to my clients.
9 times out of 10, these dudes have been well served with the php or node or even golang that i give them.
Seems that a lot of tools coming up just make shit harder.
Even VBScript seems simpler compared to the amount of web fuckery going on right now.
Yeah I keep current, but fuck, every day it seems as if shit was just getting more and more complex16 -
[CMS of Doom™]
The gift that keeps on giving...
When you think you've seen it all after 7 months in legacy hell, you get another gift:
Let's say you use PHP, but your IQ is in the zero-ish range, then it is obvious to:
- use define() for constants in all your config.*.php files
- then include said config.*.php files multiple times
- and because define() doesn't overwrite the same constant, because it's - you know - a constant, you instead of including just do a file_get_contents() to read the PHP file as string and then parse the values by Regex.
The dev who wrote this was truly one of the devs ever.
12 -
I enjoy being an embedded software engineer that is allowed to use C for most projects and doesn't have to program JavaScript or PHP nor has to use dozens of foreign libraries.12
-
Our software needs apache, php, mysql and node of certain versions installed. This is too many dependecies for our customers.
Let's dockerize!
Now they need docker, docker-compose, make, bash and python in a certain version. What an improvement!
I mean yes but hm.10 -
In the Ruhr area (Germany) we have some very old, very strange words with strange meanings. One of those words is ‚Prutscher‘.
A Prutscher refers to a person who does things but never gets a good result, due to lack of knowledge or simple carelessness. Most of the time, Prutschers are people who are interested in certain subjects and often work in the related jobs, but who lack the motivation to properly train themselves, learn what there is to learn and to always keep up with their technologies .
Here are a few examples I've stumbled upon so far in my career:
- Developers in their 60's who read a book about PHP 25 years ago and decided to become a software developer. Since then haven't read anything about it. Who then now build huge spaghetti monoliths for large companies, in which they prefix every function, every variable and constant with their initials and, of course, use Hungarian notation.
- People who read half a fucking tutorial about <insert any fancy js framework here> and start blogging/tweeting about it
- Senior web developers who need to be told what the fuck CORS is and who can't even recognize CORS related errors in their browser console.
- People who have done nothing else for 18 years than building websites for companies on Wordpress 1.x and writing few lines of PHP and Javascript from time to time. Those who are now applying as a frontend dev due to the difficult economic situation and are surprised that they are not accepted due to a lack of experience.
- Developers who are the only ones working on Windows in the team and ask their Linux colleagues for help when Windows starts bitchin.
- People who have been coding for 30 years, have worked with ~42 languages and don't know the difference between compiled and interpreted languages in the job interview.
- Chief developers at a large newsletter-publisher who think it's a good idea to build your own CMS (due to a lack of good existing ones, of course).
- Developers who have been writing PHP applications for multinational corporations for 25 years and cannot explain how PHP is executed. They don't even know what the fucking OPcache is, let alone fpm. FML
- People who call themselves professional developers but never ever heard of DRY, KISS, boy-scout rule, 12-Factor App, SOLID, Clean Code, Design Patterns, ...
- Senior developers wondering why the bash script won't run on their fucking Windows machine.
- Developers who consider Typescript to be a hindrance and see no value in it.
- Developers using ftp for deployments in 2022
- Senior Javascript Developer applying for a job and for whom Integer is a primitive data type in JS.
- Developers who prefer to code without frameworks and libraries because they are only an unnecessary burden/overhead and you can quickly code everything up yourself.
- Developers who think configuring their server(s) manually is a good idea.
You fucking Prutscher. What you have already cost me in terms of work and nerves. I can't even put it into words how deeply I despise you. I have more respect for the chewing gum that has been stuck in my damn trash can for the past 3 years than I do for you guys. You are the disgrace of our profession. I will haunt you in your dreams and prefix every fucking synapse of your brain with MY initials.
As a well-known german band once sang in a very fitting song: I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire.
If you recognized yourself in one of the examples here: FUCK YOU!37 -
An ancient legend goes that there exists sacred knowledge that enables anyone possessing it not to turn one’s career into a constant uphill battle with the management.
I sought this knowledge, I travelled the world, to no avail. Once upon a time, I climbed the Mount Fuji and met the wizard in his pagoda on the mount. I won in a CSS-golf battle with him, and he revealed the sacred truth: one need to chose companies that do business instead of constant backroom deals and dick-measuring contests.
Like Prometheus, I give this knowledge to you. An ancient scroll says that for this I’ll be chained to the mountain of PHP legacy code, and HRs will peck my brain for eternity, but I found Arachne, the queen of HRs, and exchanged the keto-diet secret for freedom.1 -
4 hours! four fucking hours! f.o.u.r. h.o.u.r.s.!
It's the amount in the time domain this bug has cost me to fix. The cost in the sanity domain is immeasurable...
I swear, the god damn ass births of devs who coded this abomination should be slowly mutilated and then raped by their own severed limbs.
It took me 4 hours to figure out that their 12 year old binary CLI tool they used to generate PDFs from PHP could not handle neither HTML5 nor some linebreaks at specific places. Some part of it is due to them using REGEX to find and replace HTML tag.
Yes, I am indeed very pissed. And I need a 🥃 or 3
What we learned:
- Don't use REGEX to "parse" HTML
- Don't call random compiled CLI tools from PHP if there are PHP packages to do the same shit9 -
When you have a 400 line PHP file and you want to add two new translations, please don't copy past it twice and put it into a huge if-else5
-
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.
33 -
[wordpress trigger warning]
Had an idiotic colleague who re-implemented the insert image function as a shortcode. A “senior php developer”. No, I’m not kidding.
Him: “But this way we can set a class”
Me: “As you can with the standard mode”
Him “No you can’t”
Me: *shows*
Him (smiling): “well why don’t you remove my stuff then?”7 -
Worked for a friend of mine in the early 2000s. Had to implement a booking system into PHP for some private customer. This was PHP 4.something, the CMS was some alpha release of an open source project that my friend was sure was the future (it wasn't), and the specs were one A4 page of pencil scribbles that he took while talking to the customer.
Deadline was insane, nothing worked. I worked from getting up to laying down to get shit done, not being able to sleep, feeling stressed all the time. One week before roll-out I actually managed to get it running and we showed it to the customer. He was like "nope, that's not what I meant" and demanded lots of changes but accepted only one or two weeks of roll-out delay.
I did finish the job, made some good money, but then quit as soon as it was done.
This experience broke me so much that I worked in a workshop for 2 years to get away from programming as far as I possibly could.2 -
Someone here on devrant that used to go under the name LetMeCode ranted about php and said how much they'd rather work with the Phoenixframework.
Love on first sight. Studied Elixir to get a job as an elixir dev and got my first and current job right after graduating high school.
So yeah, that rant might have changed my life. Saved me from becoming a java or php dev for sure!4 -
[CMS Of Doom™]
Imagine bringing every HTTP Query Param and every god damn fucking POST var into to current code context.
"extract()" is one of the reasons why I have terminal PHPTSD.
10 -
"So Alecx, how did you solve the issues with the data provided to you by hr for <X> application?"
Said the VP of my institution in charge of my department.
"It was complex sir, I could not figure out much of the general ideas of the data schema since it came from a bunch of people not trained in I.T (HR) and as such I had to do some experiments in the data to find the relationships with the data, this brought about 4 different relations in the data, the program determined them for me based on the most common type of data, the model deemed it a "user", from that I just extracted the information that I needed, and generated the tables through Golang's gorm"
VP nodding and listening intently...."how did you make those relationships?" me "I started a simple pattern recognition module through supervised mach..." VP: Machine learning, that sounds like A.I
Me: "Yes sir, it was, but the problem was fairly easy for the schema to determ.." VP: A.I, at our institution, back in my day it was a dream to have such technology, you are the director of web tech, what is it to you to know of this?"
Me: "I just like to experiment with new stuff, it was the easiest rout to determine these things, I just felt that i should use it if I can"
VP: "This is amazing, I'll go by your office later"
Dude speaks wonders of me. The idea was simple, read through the CSV that was provided to me, have the parsing done in a notebook, make it determine the relationships in the data and spout out a bunch of JSON that I could use. Hook it up to a simple gorm golang script and generate the tables for that. Much simpler than the bullshit that we have in php. I used this to create a new database since the previous application had issues. The app will still have a php frontend and backend, but now I don't leave the parsing of the data to php, which quite frankly, php sucks for imho. The Python codebase will then create the json files through the predictive modeling (98% accuaracy) and then the go program will populate the db for me.
There are also some node scripts that help test the data since the data is json.
All in all a good day of work. The VP seems scared since he knows no one on this side of town knows about this kind of tech. Me? I am just happy I get to experiment. Y'all should have seen his face when I showed him a rather large app written in Clojure, the man just went 0.0 when he saw Lisp code.
I think I scare him.12 -
Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!17 -
A gigantic codebase of several tens of millions of loc [prolly hundreds of mill's as we don't see all of it] in java EE.
Very complex business logic where bells have their own whistles with their own bells with .... You get it.
Very fine-tuned performance to make app so performant that the only bottleneck becomes the db. The beefiest rds instance becomes too laggy [orm, so sqls are immutable]
Client moves to rewrite the whole thing in PHP. Motivation: lower TTM
:facepalm:11 -
I don't know if I'm being pranked or not, but I work with my boss and he has the strangest way of doing things.
- Only use PHP
- Keep error_reporting off (for development), Site cannot function if they are on.
- 20,000 lines of functions in a single file, 50% of which was unused, mostly repeated code that could have been reduced massively.
- Zero Code Comments
- Inconsistent variable names, function names, file names -- I was literally project searching for months to find things.
- There is nothing close to a normalized SQL Database, column ID names can't even stay consistent.
- Every query is done with a mysqli wrapper to use legacy mysql functions.
- Most used function is to escape stirngs
- Type-hinting is too strict for the code.
- Most files packed with Inline CSS, JavaScript and PHP - we don't want to use an external file otherwise we'd have to open two of them.
- Do not use a package manger composer because he doesn't have it installed.. Though I told him it's easy on any platform and I'll explain it.
- He downloads a few composer packages he likes and drag/drop them into random folder.
- Uses $_GET to set values and pass them around like a message contianer.
- One file is 6000 lines which is a giant if statement with somewhere close to 7 levels deep of recursion.
- Never removes his old code that bloats things.
- Has functions from a decade ago he would like to save to use some day. Just regular, plain old, PHP functions.
- Always wants to build things from scratch, and re-using a lot of his code that is honestly a weird way of doing almost everything.
- Using CodeIntel, Mess Detectors, Error Detectors is not good or useful.
- Would not deploy to production through any tool I setup, though I was told to. Instead he wrote bash scripts that still make me nervous.
- Often tells me to make something modern/great (reinventing a wheel) and then ends up saying, "I think I'd do it this way... Referes to his code 5 years ago".
- Using isset() breaks things.
- Tens of thousands of undefined variables exist because arrays are creates like $this[][][] = 5;
- Understanding the naming of functions required me to write several documents.
- I had to use #region tags to find places in the code quicker since a router was about 2000 lines of if else statements.
- I used Todo Bookmark extensions in VSCode to mark and flag everything that's a bug.
- Gets upset if I add anything to .gitignore; I tried to tell him it ignores files we don't want, he is though it deleted them for a while.
- He would rather explain every line of code in a mammoth project that follows no human known patterns, includes files that overwrite global scope variables and wants has me do the documentation.
- Open to ideas but when I bring them up such as - This is what most standards suggest, here's a literal example of exactly what you want but easier - He will passively decide against it and end up working on tedious things not very necessary for project release dates.
- On another project I try to write code but he wants to go over every single nook and cranny and stay on the phone the entire day as I watch his screen and Im trying to code.
I would like us all to do well but I do not consider him a programmer but a script-whippersnapper. I find myself trying to to debate the most basic of things (you shouldnt 777 every file), and I need all kinds of evidence before he will do something about it. We need "security" and all kinds of buzz words but I'm scared to death of this code. After several months its a nice place to work but I am convinced I'm being pranked or my boss has very little idea what he's doing. I've worked in a lot of disasters but nothing like this.
We are building an API, I could use something open source to help with anything from validations, routing, ACL but he ends up reinventing the wheel. I have never worked so slow, hindered and baffled at how I am supposed to build anything - nothing is stable, tested, and rarely logical. I suggested many things but he would rather have small talk and reason his way into using things he made.
I could fhave this project 50% done i a Node API i two weeks, pretty fast in a PHP or Python one, but we for reasons I have no idea would rather go slow and literally "build a framework". Two knuckleheads are going to build a PHP REST framework and compete with tested, tried and true open source tools by tens of millions?
I just wanted to rant because this drives me crazy. I have so much stress my neck and shoulder seems like a nerve is pinched. I don't understand what any of this means. I've never met someone who was wrong about so many things but believed they were right. I just don't know what to say so often on call I just say, 'uhh..'. It's like nothing anyone or any authority says matters, I don't know why he asks anything he's going to do things one way, a hard way, only that he can decipher. He's an owner, he's not worried about job security.13 -
I'd rather take a swim in a moist human massgrave than fix any more bugs of this cancer-inducing "selfmade" CMS developped by a "company" that shall not be named.
Sadly I am not aware of any such pit in the neighborhood, thus more bugfixing it is... yay ⚰️5 -
New developers. Tip: There is no silver bullet.
If you like Python, please understand GIL's behavior before making a system that handles thousands of requests.
If you like Java, know that "Write once, run anywhere" is a fallacy. Even application servers don't like the same WAR.
If you like PHP, understand the life cycle of a request before connecting to the database from all corners.
If you like C#, don't make it a small command-line application that will be used on FreeBSD.
If you like C, meet valgrind.
If you like C++, templates are cool, but don't overdo it. And take the opportunity to meet valgrind.
Never use the same tool to do everything. Elect the language and framework for the given need with rationality.
Every time I see a "Java Man", a "C++ Chad" or anything like that, it comes to mind that if he were a carpenter, he would be tightening screws with hammers.
Every lock-in is bad.11 -
FINALLY fixed a stupid website issue. Absolutely nothing to do with my job, but it's also no-one else's job - the website was apparently contracted out years ago and everyone just let it go when they saw this thing.
...also 'finally' refers to the fact that it's been bugging me since I interviewed several months ago. I spent longer finding the thing I was looking for than I did fixing it2 -
I feel like resigning from a company that i joined 3 weeks back.
I don't like to code in PHP and the manager wants to stick on to that , no new developers joining the company and php is one of the reason. The code is a mess. Every now and then some other team come running for a change like one button to do some shit and then for a fix after 15mins of release.
So many database operations are happening manually. No innovation in the team. Developers are very boring , women being senior developers and team leads brings stability but there is no innovation , excitement or any enthusiasm. All my team members are very happy doing mediocre shit. Manager talks about agile development and they are following that at a level where every half a day some requirement changes.
I m tired of being a developer that fixes the same mediocre shit.
Its too boring.8 -
Problem: ugly-ass php spaghetti code that has a technical debt of 16(!!!) years. I mean, it's so spaghetti that has two legacy frameworks that talk to each other inside the same monolith.
Observation: after two months my colleagues, trying to refactoring stuff, they were able to touch so little stuff that it almost made no difference.
How much is worth a rewrite? Because i don't think i can make a difference on a codebase so messy.
I know that rewrite is not the answer 99.9999% of the time, but i have tons of doubts here.14 -
I got stuck with a small task for days, today I just have the courage to ask for help and a senior literally gave me the code for the problem! I'm not sure if I should be happy for finishing the task or embarrassed for couldn't solve the problem by myself. 😄😥6
-
Oh boy... something just happened I'd have never expected.
Remember my rants about the PHP CMS Of Doom™?
Guess what... the boss of said company just called me to offer me a job as their new tech lead. WTF.
I'd rather slowly impale myself on a rusy pickaxe.
I'd rather tattoo my face with a giant, pulsating, uncircimcised shlong.
I'd rather take a swim in a pool of Hydrogen fluoride.
I'd rather work 80h/wk on pimple extraction.10 -
Was approached by a (serious) recruiter and the project they're looking to hire for is a 3 year contract, remote and actually sounds really interesting and right up my alley.
Cue the self doubt.
Scared shitless I won't pass the bog standard PHP skill assessment test.
SHUT UP BRAIN.10 -
At the beginning of my IT career I was so desperate to get into this field that I even read a PHP 4.3 intro book and applied for a php dev role
yes, I was THAT desperate. Good thing I wasn't hired.3 -
A long long time ago ( 2007 I think ) I worked for a company that made landing sites, so basically an email campaign would go out, users would be sent to a 1 page website with a form to capture their data, ready to be spammed even more. You know how it was back then.
So I worked with a guy who we had just hired, I didn't do the hiring but his CV checked out, so I gave him one of my tasks. Now most pages were made with js and html, with a PHP backend ( called with Ajax). Now this guy didn't know PHP so I was like all good, ASP works too at the end of the day we don't judge, we do like 2 or 3 of these a day and never look at them again. So he goes of and does is thing.
3 weeks later, the customer calls up to me they still haven't received their landing page. Ok so he probably forgot to email the customer np, I tell him to double check he has emailed the customer. Another week goes by end the customer calls back, same problem. At this point I'm getting worried, because we're days away from the deadline and it was originally my task.
So I go back to the guy and I tell him I want that landing page so I can send it myself, half thinking to myself that we had a freeloader, that guy that comes in to companies for 3 weeks, doesn't work, but still cashes his pay. But no, this was much worse.
So he tells me he has finished yet. I ask him why, what's the blocker ? You had 4 weeks to tell me you were blocked and couldn't progress. And his answer was simply, because I wasn't blocked I have been working on it this whole time. So I tell him to zip his project up and email it to me. We didn't do SVN or git back then, simply wasn't worth it. So he comes back to me and says the email server is telling him attachments can't be bigger then 50mb. At this point I'm thinking he didn't properly sized the art or something, so I give him a flash drive to put it on.
When I then open the flash drive, the archive is 300mb, thinking to myself, the images weren't even that big to begin with.
So I open it up, and I don't even find any images, just a single asp page. About 500mb. When I opened that up and it finally loaded, I saw the most horrendous things ever.
The first 500 lines was just initializing empty vars. Then there was some code that created an empty form with an onChange event that submits the form. After that.. it was just non stop nested if's. No loops, no while, for, foreach, NO elseif's, just nested if's, for every possible combination of the state the form could be in. Abou 5000 of them, in a single file. To make matters worse, all the form ( and page ) layout was hardcoded in the if's. Includes inline css, base64 encoded images, nothing but as dynamic, based on the length of the form he changes the layout, added more background etc. He cut the images up for every possible size of the page and included them in the code.
I showed it to my boss, he fired the guy on the spot. I redid the work from scratch, in under 4 hours. Send it to the client. they had no ammends to make, happy as Larry. Whish I kept the code somewhere.
Morale of the story, allways do a coding test on interviews, even if small things just to sanity check.4 -
"Biggest challenge you overcame as a dev?"
Overcame? I wish! I'm in the midde of fixing the worst legacy code clusterfuck I have ever seen...
Yes, it's even wayyyy worse than WorstPress...
There are days where my coworkers hear profuse laughter coming out of my lone bureau, some of them might already be thinking that I've gone mad. Maybe I have... bwahahahaha3 -
Found this on prod
Don't know who did this but wwhhhyyyy do you need to add foreach loop😅
Just add directly
10 -
Why hello there, your profile mentions you're not looking for an offer and lists PHP as a technology you don't want to work with.
Boi, are you in luck, cause I have that sweet PHP offer for you3 -
So it's been awhile since I switched from PHP to Golang.
At first I missed PHP a lot, but golang really has some advantages, so its fine.
But over time, and when the project grows in features, I more and more and more start to miss more and more at least basic classes / inheritance and abstraction friendly stuff from php.
Im finally reaching the point where I start to truly miss php, I can't stop myself after writing a feature to think how much less work that would be in php.
Call me crazy, but damn, it's real.14 -
Just wondering, fellow devRanters...
Q: What is your favorite programming language, and why?
I'm currently studying Unity, so I'm in love with C#, it helped me understand a lot of concepts like namespaces, encapsulation, constructors, something that I was struggling to grasp with PHP, which I use every single day at work.
15 -
I want to write something in PHP.
Yes, coming from me, it sounds like stockholm syndrome, but for me PHP is reminiscent of simpler times.
I want to get a server right where I bought the domain, with CPanel, log in with FTP and ~~push~~ (excuse me, _send_) index.php and other files there. I want to open phpmyadmin and throw some stupid fields together that won't work at scale, but "scale" will never happen.
I want to design websites without normalize.css, without any kind of javascript but some silly UI stuff, I want to send emails with sendmail and not sendgrid. I want my gradient buttons back.
Symphony and Laravel can kiss my ass.
10 -
My friend is learning PHP and I told him to install xampp but that fucker went nuts and installed MySQL too which didn't allow the xampp's SQL and ended in conflict.
Oh man that's so funny when non programmers don't do what we say.2 -
I HATE PHP.
I hate it with all my guts.
It's weirdly cobbled together, nothing fits for anything, it's a NON PROFESSIONAL TOOL. AT. ALL. PLEASE STOP DOIN' STUFF WITH IT AND REWRITE YOUR STACK IN COBOL/BRAINF**K.
I HATE IT.13 -
I have been working on this software for 3 years now. The code base was a working prototype made by my boss before I came, not more, not less. Php + Angular. Have been refactoring a lot, backend is backed with hundreds of tests now, frontend still lacks a lot. Still a lot of programm structures are still the same weird ones my boss once created in a rush between two meetings while learning Angular to get the prototype finished. Now it's used in production which makes hard to refactor, because we have to maintain backwards compatibility. Neither the parts I added or refactored completely are satisfying, because they are built on this structures, because i never got any feedback for anything I decided and because I changed my own paradigms over time.
So I am all alone on this project. All genuinly new projects are assigned to the new team members (i was the first one, no we are five plus my boss) because I wont have time, have to maintain the old one. So I never can do something new which is quite frustrating.
I did a little side tool, the only thing I invented and did completely by myself in our repertoire - and now some stakeholder shows big interest onto this. Instead of giving me the task to make a real project from this my boss wants to give it to them to develop it. Why? Because I need more time for the main application.
Also the more the software is used the more bug tickets and feature requests come. I was crying for help for months but the others had appareantly more important stuff to do.
This might be true to some extend. Yesterday we had some kind of crisis meeting and my boss wanted again to assing pur junior to help me, who has a shit load of other things to do and is a student. I insisted that this would not be enough, and one of the fulltime devs has to get involved because the thing is our core application and I am only part time btw. So my boss said we wont decide today but one of them should do it. They should have some time to figure out who which is understandable but it's not that I didn't keep saying this for months. Now they are all like whimp whimp when I have to do php i will quit. The new projects are all typescript, with node backend if any. But alas, one of them even said yesterday he doesn't want to do js anymore. Okay... but... this is our tech stack then get another job allready?
And I should do the same probably. But then again I feel very sorry for my boss who helped me in very dark times of corona and more. If both of us leave, the project he worked on for decade (including convincing poeole, collect money..) might be suddenly at it's end while he is so exited about it's access today...
I also get insecure if it's really that they hate php so much or that they don't want to work with me personally because maybe I am a bad team Player or what?
I experienced the same at my old workplace, got left alone with big parts of the project because they didn't want to do php and js in this case and it ended up five devs doing the python backend and me doing the frontend and the php cms part all alone. Then I quit and now everything seems to happen again.
And then again I think I am only fucked up so hard by this stuff because I do not really like being a developer at all. I only do it for the money and because I am good at it (at least i think so. Nobody ever bothers to ever to read my code and give me feedback, because you know, php and js). So I guess I would hate any other job in the field maybe likewise?
This job *is* convinient, salary, office
position, flexibility could not be better. At the end of the day it's not that stressfull. And i don't have any second of freetime (due to family) or energy i could offer a new and more demanding employer, can't work over time or even take a fulltime position, can't home office, can't earn less, can't travel very long to the office and especially can't go back to school to learn something completely new. Some of these constraints are softwe then other naturally but still my posibilities at the Moment are very limited. That might change in about five years if the family situation changed. So it would most likely be reasonable to stay until then at my current job? And bear being alone with this app, don't getting involved on any new project, don't learn anything new, don't invent anything.
There was one potential way out, they considered offering me PHD position to the upcoming ml part of the project... But I learned that I would attend to a bunch of classes at university first, which i would like to, but I don't think i have the time.
I feel trapped somehow. I also feel very lonely in the Office because those fucktards keep saying in home office.
Man, I don't want to go to work today.6 -
[CMS Of Doom™]
Ah, yes, their built-in bullshit newsletter module just sent the n-th user n emails. Wonderful considering n=368.
The culprit? Better don't ask...
OK, anyway: So the mailer is running as a CRONjob, but nah, not as a console script call but by a public HTTP GET URL call, fucking obviously (it's the CMS Of Doom for a reason).
So these fucking imbeciles "implemented" an ob_start() callback where HTML links are - for whatever fucking reason - modified by some regex (obviously everybody knows parsing HTML by Regex is trivial). In this case the link was somehow modified to recall the mailer Cronjob...
This must have upset the pngoing mailing process thus spamming mails. Whyyyy
And I've thought I've seen it all after 6 months in this legacy hell...
This is why you don't run a company consisting of only beginners in PHP (in cluding their "CEO")! -
This is so annoying, I had 9 diff. jobs the past 2 years and this is my 10th and if this doesn't change I might reconsider my options again.
I came to work at a company that pays me like a Junior and treats me as an intern. My 20yo "boss" who acts as a project owner/lead dev doesn't want to learn anything new and sees any improvement as a waste of money. The problem is he thinks hes a great programmer but he doesn't know shit. Im mainly working on the Laravel installation because "I claimed I know Laravel". And its absolute garbage. They haven't used a single Laravel features besides routes and everything else is vanilla PHP. They write for loops that loop through $_REQUEST to remove a single character. Write 100 deep nested ifs and they abuse Elasticsearch to the point ES crashes because the program is using 1000 deep multidimensional arrays. Its only a webshop...
Everytime I try to make a suggestion like making the master branch protected, doing code reviews etc etc I get shut down because they are autistic and don't want anything to change.9 -
A petty rant but I'm going for it anyway.
I don't like how Trongate is bashing Laravel, claiming that it is a "better" framework and "Pure PHP is back".
It's fine if you built a framework that is better than Laravel, good for you. But don't go around bashing Taylor Otwell's work. As someone, who has spent a major portion of my career in IT as a Laravel dev, that hurts to see.
IMO I think they never understood why Laravel became popular in the first place. It wasn't because it's the fastest, but because how beginner-friendly it is and how easy it is to maintain and many other perks it has.10 -
can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete2
-
what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?
i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.
how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.1 -
I took a job with a software company to manage their product, which was a SaaS property maintenance system for real estate, social housing, etc.
There was no charge to real estate agents to use it but maintenance contractors had to use credits to take a job, which they pre-purchased. They recharged their credit costs back to the real estate agent on their invoice).
Whether this pricing model is good or not, that's what it was. So, in I came, and one of the first things management wanted me to deal with was a long-standing problem where nobody in the company ever considered a contractor's credits could go into the negative. That is, they bought some credits once, then kept taking jobs (and getting the real estate agent to pay for the credits), and went into negative credits, never paying another cent to this software company.
So, I worked with product and sales and finance and the developers to create a series of stories to help get contractors' back into positive credits with some incentives, and most certainly preventing anyone getting negative again.
The code was all tested, all was good, and this was the whole sprint. We released it ...
... and then suddenly real estate agents were complaining reminders to inspect properties were being missed and all sorts of other date-related events were screwed up.
I couldn't understand how this happened. I spoke with the software manager and he said he added a couple of other pieces of code into the release.
In particular, the year prior someone complained a date on a report was too squished and suggested a two-digit year be used. Some atrocious software developer worked on it who, quite seriously, didn't simply change the formatting of that one report. No, he modified the code everywhere to literally store two-digit years in the database. This code sat unreleased for a year and then .... for no perceivable reason, the moron software manager decided he'd throw it into this sprint without telling me or anybody else, or without it being tested.
I told him to rollback but he said he'd already had developers fixing the problems as they came up. He seemed to be confident they'd sort it out soon.
Yet, as the day went on more and more issues arose. I spoke to him with the rest of the management team and said we need to revert the code but he said they couldn't because they hadn't been making pull requests that were exclusive to specific tickets but instead contained lots of work all in one. He didn't think they could detangle it and said the only way to fix was "play whack-a-mole" when issues came up.
I only stayed in that company for three months; there was simply way too much shit to fix and to this day I still have no idea the reasoning that went on in the head of anyone involved with that piece of code.2 -
Fuck MS Word and every other WYSIWYG editor for text AND especially if said editor is a custom built abomination made of PHP and JS.4
-
[CMS of Doom™]
Imagine creating a CMS so bad that you let the owner (who I work for) define in a simple input field what email address is used as the sender address for the welcome email of newly registered users.
Basically they filled in a personal email of the company some 3 years ago AND of course the person with said email address left the company a few months later thus for some 2-3 years newly registered users received a welcome email with a sender address of an unavailable user.
And I thought I've seen it all in this CMS...3 -
Definitely Git, Node, Composer and PHP at the moment.
It's fucking incredible how you have such tools for free.
The younger generations have it much easier to get into programming.3 -
Short Rant, 2 lines:
Got a new IT Director in our company.
This person thinks SAP is the same as PHP.
End of story.5 -
You know the PHP legacy code base is complete garbage when it requires a script memory limit of 1.5GB.9
-
In 2019 I want to get better at PHP & React & stop being afraid to try & fail! I do a lot of front end work, backend still baffles me a lot. Time to get uncomfortable! 👩🏼💻🤓3
-
I just found the current main project of the people who originally wrote the codebase I’m mainly working with. After all these years they still write incoherent spaghetti mess. I need to make a throwaway GH account just to tell them people like them are the reason people hate PHP…1
-
Hail Adventurer,
By Linus, do not fear what you see
and curse not I, but those before me
hold steady in the storms to come
brace for bugs, wherever from
I pass on to you, the light of PHP
Use it well, to fight against scrutiny
if it works, keep it so, ask not why
my time is over, while yours is nigh1 -
took me years to learn js, php, c# and I ended up now learning and debugging STL... This twisted logic is soo painfull
3 -
Ernest Hemingway and @bittersweet once competed in whose shortest story is the saddest. Ernest wasn't original, boasting his old "baby shoes" charade. But @bittersweet, proving the culture is changed, and new talent beats the old, won, with this story of his:
"CTO is wanted by YC unicorn. Requirements: PHP 5.4".1 -
Hey devs!!
I just can't stop myself from sharing this.
Its been two years now ... my junior is working. and now she is handling standalone WP projects.. but somehow her task got stucked so I was asked to help her.
So I just said check the count of variables and she messaged me with code .. Ma'am this isn't working .. Haha.. I mean come on she better can google out atleast for syntax :(
<?php if(count($content2 == 3) && count($interestt2 == 3))
{
print_r($content2);
print_r($interestt2);
}else{
echo "not checked";
}
?>2 -
What would be the easiest starting point on low level languages?
I started with java, learned to hate it.
I continued with web development, learned to hate it.
Continued with PHP, learned to hate it.
Continued with scripting languages like Python, NodeJS, etc.., hated it from the beginning but it was easy.
But everytime i touch something like c/c++/rust/etc i immeadiatly give up, because the syntax is so different than all these other high level languages and so much null/type safety and so on.
But i want to get into low level programming languages which compile to an executable and don't get executed on some "vm".12 -
Situation: I have a love hate relationship with python due to the lack of types as I have in more established languages such as C#, Java and shit even TypeScript
Situation (cont): A rather large codebase that i have developed for multiple processes at work run on Python.
I don't hate it, I just don't absolutely love it, there is a lot of things to like about Python, but man I do have some conflicts with it, I have been facing out to use other solutions that feel scripty, such as the newer versions of C# with .net, but I would say that about 80% of our codebase runs on Python, the rest is PHP.
I am somewhat traditional in the way my programs run, I started with C++ and Java, then for whatever reason (I blame codecademy at the time) switched over to Ruby and Javascript, mostly Javascript. I do not remember how I found Python, I do remember learning it with an online tutorial, shit was easy to get started with.
My codebase running on Python is huge, and they do a lot from automation scripts, to data gathering and database management, never had I been bitten with the "oh noes is so slow" bug since my code is not Google level big, for everything else Python seems rather fast imho
I dunno, big time love hate relationship9 -
FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.
Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.
The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.
And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.
OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??
Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.
I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.6 -
every day my boss says he'll review the requirements for our product. every day he forgets to do so. every day he asks where the update for the next stage is. every day i remind him. every day he forg ---2
-
Anyone here have any experience with PHP? I've never really used it myself and don't really want to, but I do look at things like http://phpsadness.com/ from time to time.
These complaints range from "fairly minor" (some stuff like function names/args and some syntsx complaints) to "how is this language even used" (segfaults in a scripting language, broken things like "create_function", comparisons and ternanry operator).
Of course, i don't program in PHP so i don't know how bad any of this actually is.
Anyone actually use PHP or did use it previously?20 -
*phases of learning to program*
Phase 1:
Yeah its so easy i love programming i'm gonna be a top programmer.
Phase 2:
Uuuhg.. programming sucks,i think i'm not meant for it,should i give up do something else maybe...
#programming #100DaysOfCode #mumbai #love #indian #gujarati #vadodarabarodacity #instagram #vadodaradiary #msubaroda #aapduvadodara #vadodaranews #vadodarawomen #officialvadodara #vadodaracity #barodarocks #barodagoogle #vadodarafashion #vadodara_lover #barodadiaries #barodamirror #india #vadodarabaroda #geek #developerslife #webdev #php #design #css #java #developers #html #softwarehouse #softwares #softwaredevelopment #technology #coderlife #designer #softwareengineer #webdesigner #codingisfun #programmerproblems #programmerjokes #programmerlifestyle #programmergirl #webdevelopment #developerlife #devlife #webdesign #programmersday #softwareengineering #programmering #programmerhumor #development #dev #programmerlife #programmer #developer #vadodara #coding #software #baroda #programming #vadodaradiaries #vadodara_baroda #coder #webdeveloper #gujarat #programmerslife #javascript #vadodara_igers #codinglife #barodacity #code #vadodarablogger #programmers #softwaredeveloper #ourvadodara #goals #beyourself #happy #smile #lifeisgood #socialmedia #success #friday2 -
The only good thing about PHP is that the argument to catch blocks is called $ex which entertains my childish mind.5
-
At my new organization , they love spaghetti code, they neither want me to refactor it, because it works. Special thanks to php.6
-
Is there a better way communicating between php and java than tcp? Because this was my first idea but i try everything on localhost and the request takes up to 3 seconds...16
-
I got contacted by an other company and I am so unsure whether to accept their offer or stay at my current job.
For now I spend 2 years at my current company. The culture is great and everyone gets treated very well.
The bad part is, that it is located in a part of Germany I really can't stand and to this day fully remote is not an option.
Additionally lots of stuff is really frustrating in my daily work, e.g. colleagues that experiment with critical parts if our infrastructure, resulting in every developer who made the mistake to update the local development stack being unable to work for half a day or so.
This and the fact, that our techstack sucks hard. (mostly bad php for backend and server-rendered HTML and a weird mix of Typescript, Javascript, Vue and some old bits of deprecated angular for frontend). This company has it's own product (a web platform) and no real deadlines in the sense of "something bad happens, when your team won't achieve the project in the originally proposed time"
Company number two seems to work with a wide variety of technologies for very different projects (it's a consulting compan), would pay me ~28% more than my currently raised pay and allows for full remote.
When I try to look objectively on the facts everything points to accepting their offer, but on the other hand there is this weird feeling of this being a joice that would come to soon...
How do you make such decisions? I already talked to a great colleague of mine, who thinks it might not be a bad idea to stay at the company for an additional year or 2, because I haven't yet reached the point where there is not enough to learn here anymore, which I agree on, but this company seems to offer everything I want.
I feel overwhelmed with this situation :D that's why I would like to know how you people try to tackle such a situation8 -
I'm not a Wordpress pro, but i've done some work on it and... well, the HTML + PHP mix is the only evidence you need to convince someone, there is no god, only satan, but other then that, it's hard to find anything else that your clients will accept & can use. And yes it's the most important thing - at the end of day, they are the one giving you money.
Besides:
- the Wordpress dev community is pretty cool.
- everything has been invented, so the development is pretty easy.
- if you have something more fancy to do, there is always a Wordpress API.
PS - fuck HTML + PHP mix.1 -
tl;dr: crop-rotating projects
I have 3 concurrent projects because I can only remember how I felt about two of them, so this way when I've had enough of pygame's bullshit I can happily continue working on php without my hatred towards asp.net stopping me in any way. By the time I start hating php I will have forgotten why I hate asp and be ready to continue on that. -
One of the most headache-inducing things about being a developer is having to find a solution to every little ailment that software has.
An example would be: working with a particular stack. LEAN, MEAN, LAMP, WAMP,.. The nightmare of having to deal with every single error in PHP, NodeJS, Apache Server, Nginx, the HTTP spec intricacies, the HTML5 spec, API problems..
Sometimes it's just a lot to deal with and I'm trying not to lose my patience.9 -
Welp i was assigned a project of transfering some code that was made in PHP to Go. Neither of which i worked with that closely.
Go seems quite alright.
PHP tho. Like how can you even read this people ?
Dammit brainfuck is simpler and easier to understand then this. And C has less bracket types.
So this will be fun surely.
(I was asked and agreed to do this project since i worked with stuff this is based on before)6 -
what are personal projects if not the daughters of hackathon solutions that never saw the light of day6
-
It has been a few years since I havn't touched any code, IDE, git or anything else.
And now, I'm trying to create a new personnal project for Warhammer with Laravel, Node, Tailwind and trying to understand all the webpacking thing ...
Dude, it's hard af to get back in business with all the new things ...
Any advice on how to get back ?5 -
One of my friend asked me
What the hack is this ...
Tech Associate on Job title
Full Stack Dev on Job Description ?
3 -
Hate on PHP all you want but ain’t no web framework gives you everything out of the box like Laravel does.8
-
Any recommendations for a first timer of functional programming? Not sure what languages are used the most or have the most community support. For whatever it's worth, I've enjoyed working with C# and Golang, and disliked working with JS and PHP.5
-
DoorDash wants its non-driver staff to dogfood the product.
lol. ok.
https://sfgate.com/tech/article/...20 -
Do you want to know why all the popular open source projects have less-than-optimal, sometimes really dirty code?
It's because their developers ditched all the unnecessary stuff to just get the damn thing done. When I choose an open source dependency, I don't need unfinished stuff. I need a stuff that works and has all the features I need from the very start. If it works, I don't care about code quality in my deps.
This is the reason why dirty, rushed stuff with a great idea behind it gains popularity. PHP, Git, jQuery, the list is quite large.
While you've been busy polishing your files hierarchy, these guys already shipped their product, gained adoption, and their userbase doesn't need your product anymore.
This is applicable only for true open source, not "it's developed by a full-time team of principal developers and the CTO is fucking Kent Beck, it costs $1m per month but yea we have it on github".3 -
stateofjs survey reminds me of all that's wrong with JavaScript: too many frameworks each of which has to reinvent the wheel and depend on too many node_modules child dependencies, most don't support TypeScript properly (ever tried to convert a node-express-mongoose tutorial to TS?), there is still no proper type support in JS core language, and browser features get added in form of overly complex APIs instead of handy DOM methods.
Instead the community gets excited about micro-improvements like optional chaining which has been possible in other languages for decades.
At least there is something like TypeScript, but I don't like its syntax either, it's overly verbose and adds too much "Java feeling" to JavaScript in my opinion.
Also there is too much JS in web development, as CSS and HTML seem to have missed adding enough native functionality that works reliable cross browser to build websites in a descriptive way without misunderstanding web dev for application engineering.
After all, I'd rather have frontend PHP than more JavaScript everywhere.
Anyway, at least the survey has the option to choose how satisfied or unsatisfied people are about certain aspects of JS. But I already suspect that most respondents will seem to be very happy and eager to learn the latest hype train frameworks or stick to their beloved React in the future.5 -
Hey
Any good resources for writing openvpn client in PHP?
I tried Googling but couldn't find any good article in layman's terms
Thanks18 -
!rant
I'll be the first to admit that my web dev skills are average. Where I work we don't get pushed much since we work off of a very limited (custom to us) platform, which doesn't leave one very well rounded. I am very good with CSS/HTML/FLEXBOX/RESPONSIVE DESIGN and have minimal skills in PHP and JAVASCRIPT. In school I've dabbled with SQL, but hell if I remember much (beside key, the whole key and nothing but the key). What other languages or codes do you recommend learning; what's hot right now? Or should I focus on putting higher emphasis on the ones mentioned above first? I am a front end developer and don't plan on ever doing back end so not looking for the toughest of the tough - just something that will help me grow and land a better job. If there's any cool learning sites you know of too, or other tools, please let me know.3 -
This guy has been a “php programmer” for 3 years now and yet he doesn’t know where to find Apache logs, is it weird that I am finding this really strange?12
-
Hi,
I'll be away for one week in a place without any Internet access.
Do you have any suggestions on books / docs I could download for that time?
I'd love to learn some more about web coding in that time so books about that would be great.4 -
How do you pick a new language to learn?
I am a C# developer and at work I work on desktop apps and legacy web services etc.
I fancy learning something else so I can have a bit of variety when working on personal projects etc.
I am doing a distance learning degree which has used Java and Python so far, with some PHP and JS etc to come later.
I’m drawn to Ruby as I already have experience there, but I was also thinking about looking at Node as that covers back end and front end all using JS which is definitely useful in general as I look at moving to a more web based role.10 -
is laravel app really enjoyable to write ?
i started as a laravel dev. the known story , all code in controllers etc. As i started to improve, fortunately i changed company, and worked with a symfony project. A symfony that looked like java. hundreds of classes, tests, yaml injections , objects for requests, for everything.
I thought that i missed the old laravel days, and i took an extra job on laravel again. I was soooo wrong.
It was not only that the code of the previous dev was inferior to what i am now used, it is that i have to be with an open documentation all the time. Even if the project is in the same version that i have used to earlier (an old one).
You have to check all the time the model settings, the migration, the magic tricks of model mass insert, the castings, the validation rules, why the tests are not finding some routes, why this, why that, how it is written this.
Excuse me, but i think the fun and easiness is far from what they say and what i thought it was. I start to change my mind and believe that inserting the request to a simple php object is more controllable than the gandalf tricks that laravel is doing, and you cannot know if it is worth your time to test it . And more importantly, you do not have to look at the cookbook, all the time@@@5 -
I wish I was knowledgeable enough to say that a certain programming language, that has been in use by the industry for 20+ years, is utter garbage. And I could explain why that is.16
-
In the previous company I've worked, we've had about one customer every 1-2 months that had his WorstPress website hacked.
It's a horrible CMS and there is no argument that could convince me otherwise, not even bribery.
Luckily enough for WP, it's not the worst CMS I've encountered... that award goes by far to "The CMS Of Doom™" (name changed to not dox the incompetent company that created it). Fucking bastards. -
Guys I'm learning PHP, based on your experience do you know any website where you can take challenges, create small apps for learning purposes, of course I can google it, I'm just wondering if you got website of similar purpose that helped you learn and develop your skills4
-
I've just been asked if I can help find a PHP developer. For backend.
I guess some people do really like pain.8 -
Sorry, I'm very stupid and know nothing about cloud development.
My need: I have a php code I want to put in cloud and launch as a task every N minutes automatically until I decide to stop it.
What is the best solution to do it, do you know some good services that allows me to do it easily, quickly and affordably?
For ex. "Heroku" allows me to do something like that?
Thanks in advance, I would really like to learn this part of software development I never touched in my life.
P.S. It's not a service I want to put online with access for users, it's just a "script" I want to have running on a server until I'm done.6 -
after moving back to my home country, buying an apartment and after my career started to head to nowhere because there is nothing to code for me in work, just manager stuff, I am returning to coding after work to get back into shape, practice more, learn new stuff (and the old stuff)
wanted to create a small webapp with laravel/vue, holy fucking shit how hard it is (for me) to setup your env
install composer -> command php not found
o.O im pretty sure i had php on this machine HOW THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE ALL THESE PROJECTS HERE THEN
install php8.1 -> no such package
-.-
upgraded to ubuntu 22.04, install php8.1, composer
create new laravel project -> 3 errors, missing laravel/pint, phpunit
* visible confusion * i told you to create a project, if you need it, why didn't you... oh, wait
composer install -> same
well, * looks left, looks right * --ignore-platform-reqs
but still getting the chills from a new project, now I go sleep and tomorrow I start my journey to get back to business, wish me luck -
Hey guys i am a javascript web developer who loves his stack lot sadly in my internship i was forced to learn php and Laravel and build a full stack website with auth cruds with predefined templates in less than two weeks .
i have to say Laravel sucks comparing it to something like aspnet, Nestjs, Nextjs or Express i found myself overwhelmed with learning in a very short period and what makes things worst is the fact that no one in the agency i am in is helping or speaking with me i asked help from a Senior guy and he was like "i am too busy"...
I also can't quit since this internship is for school purpose so yes rip for me3 -
What's the general Software Engineering rule of thumb again for frontend templating code?
If I look at certain websites, I notice some code smells in PHP such as:
$.modal = <?php echo $(base)["username"] != 'me' ?' ': echo 'style="display=none"' ?>
or just in general places in the code where PHP gets used as a templating engine for gluing together pieces of HTML code based on conditionals spread out over the codebase and the database itself too. To make things worse, this carries over to JavaScript ajax functions. As a developer, this to me just seems like spaghetticode.
On the other hand, many popular frameworks properly do templating, such as EJS, containing templating in one place and not mixing it with logic too much but just having simple output like <%= %>.
I know I've seen frameworks like Angular 1 contain pieces of HTML into directives, but maybe that's something different, more 'OO'-simulating or cleaner.3 -
Colleague tells me that, in PHP, this is an unsafe selector.
$a = $some_array['foo']['bar'];
And that if ['bar'] has no value, $a will default to $some_array['foo']
Is this right?, because that doesn't seem right to me...9 -
I have some down time at work & nobody on my team has any extra work to go around, so I thought I'd use the down time to learn a new skill. I am a front end developer who mostly works with HTML, CSS, PHP & a small amount of JavaScript. I do a lot of work with flex box, and frameworks like bootstrap. I've been considering learning angular or working on my php as that's my weak area. Any suggestions on cool things to learn and/or where to learn them?1
-
stupid dumb wordpress, who POSTS a user registration, returns data to the SAME site with a dumb "successful" message alert, and THEN redirects to whatever page you want?!?! looks like shit, feels like shit in terms of UX
JUST REDIRECT ME TO THE PAGE I WANT FROM THE SERVER THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF PHP
I swear its as slow as balls too -
Not a Rant,
I'm just searching freelancers! I used this site when I was just starting my career. I still have the stickers on my (now old) Notebook I got 2016-ish for having... I don't know how many likes on here (user:chrome).
If one of you knows something about: Laravel, PHP, Bitcoin Core, BTC LN, Ads, Marketing, Social Media, CSS, HTML or JS - hit me up!
Maybe just send a mail to: admin@lahuge.com
I would love to find a team on this site. I hope the Community is still well. Back in the day it was really fun to watch this site grow.
Greetings,
Chrome aka. LaHUGE
PS.: If you're from Germany that's a Plus, but not needed ;P
(copy pasta because this Account is bigger, maybe it helps?)4 -
need more experience for good entry-level jobs, need a good entry-level job for more experience. yay4
-
In my university have different projects but i don't have any personal project in my github. Any script not even a project from scratch, only report bugs but any contribution. I am subscribed in different mailing list (debian, php, perl) for help.2
-
You know you completely fucked up as a company, when your self-developed CMS is one huge unmaintainable hack and without any structure at fucking all.
It's just mindboggling how even such a complete mess can "attract" customers.
EXTREME STONKS 📈📈📈📈
(thankfully I am not related to that particular company which shall remain unnamed)2 -
Trying to make a nodejs backend is pure hell. It doesn't contain much builtin functionality in the first place and so you are forced to get a sea of smaller packages to make something that should be already baked in to happen. Momentjs and dayjs has thought nodejs devs nothing about the fact node runtime must not be as restrained as a browser js runtime. Now we are getting temporal api in browser js runtime and hopefully we can finally handle timezone hell without going insane. But this highlights the issue with node. Why wait for it to be included in js standard to finally be a thing. develop it beforehand. why are you beholden to Ecma standard. They write standards for web browser not node backend for god sake.
Also, authentication shouldn't be that complicated. I shouldn't be forced to create my own auth. In laravel scaffolding is already there and is asking you to get it going. In nodejs you have to get jwt working. I understand that you can get such scaffolding online with git clone but why? why express doesn't provide buildtin functions for authentication? Why for gods sake, you "npm install bcrypt"? I have to hash my own password before hand. I mean, realistically speaking nodejs is builtin with cryptography libraries. Hashmap literally uses hashing. Why can't it be builtin. I supposed any API needed auth. Instead I have to sign and verfiy my token and create middlewares for the job of making sure routes are protected.
I like the concept of bidirectional communication of node and the ugly thing, it's not impressive. any goddamn programming language used for web dev should realistically sustain two-way communication. It just a question of scaling, but if you have a backend that leverages usockets you can never go wrong. Because it's written in c. Just keep server running and sending data packets and responding to them, and don't finalize request and clean up after you serve it just keep waiting for new event.
Anyway, I hope out of this confused mess we call nodejs backend comes clean solutions just like Laravel came to clean the mess that was PHP backend back then.
Express is overrated by the way, and mongodb feels like a really ludicrous idea. we now need graphql in goddamn backend because of mongodb and it's cousins of nosql databases.7 -
If you upgrade your framework/php/React version then you need to have tests to makes sure nothing breakes after upgrade!?
Ive never seen a project with tests that completly covers everything and ive been a developer (web) for over 10 years.
Without tests you just upgrade, get down on your knees and pray?4 -
Coming from a PHP, JS and Flutter developer:
I want to start building more websites entirely with Js frameworks. The less the better. Needs to import json data, perform ajax requests etc.
Can't decide, do I learn Vue or Svelte?9 -
It just never works when you try to set up self hostet php apps never theyre all shit they never print any useful errors they just randomly pass wrong args they use fucking ioncube fuck everything6
-
#Suphle Rant 6: Deptrac, phparkitect
This entry isn't necessarily a rant but a tale of victory. I'm no more as sad as I used to be. I don't work as hard as I used to, so lesser challenges to frustrate my life. On top of that, I'm not bitter about the pace of progress. I'm at a state of contentment regarding Suphle's release
An opportunity to gain publicity presented itself last month when cfp for a php event was announced last month. I submitted and reviewed a post introducing suphle to the community. In the post, I assured readers that I won't be changing anything soon ie the apis are cast in stone. Then php 7.4 officially "went out of circulation". It hit me that even though the code supports php 8 on paper, it's kind of a red herring that decorators don't use php 8 attributes. So I doubled down, suspending documentation.
The container won't support union and intersection types cuz I dislike the ambiguity. Enums can't be hydrated. So I refactored implementation and usages of decorators from interfaces to native attributes. Tried automating typing for all class properties but psalm is using docblocks instead of native typing. So I disabled it and am doing it by hand whenever something takes me to an unfixed class (difficulty: 1). But the good news is, we are php 8 compliant as anybody can ask for!
I decided to ride that wave and implement other things that have been bothering me:
1) 2 commands for automating project setup for collaborators and user facing developers (CHECK)
2) transferring some operations from runtime to compile/build TIME (CHECK)
3) re-attempt implementing container scopes
I tried automating Deptrac usage ie adding the newly created module to the list of regulated architectural layers but their config is in yaml, so I moved to phparkitect which uses php to set the rules. I still can't find a library for programmatically updating php filed/classes but this is more dynamic for me than yaml. I set out to implement their library, turns out the entire logic is dumped into the command class, so I can neither control it without the cli or automate tests to it. I take the command apart, connect it to suphle and run. Guess what, it detects class parents as violations to the rule. Wtflyingfuck?!
As if that's not bad enough, roadrunner (that old biatch!) server setup doesn't fail if an initialization script fails. If initialization script is moved to the application code itself, server setup crumbles and takes the your initialization stuff down with it. I ping the maintainer, rustacian (god bless his soul), who informs me point blank that what I'm trying to do is not possible. Fuck it. I have to write a wrapper command for sequentially starting the server (or not starting if initialization operations don't all succeed).
Legitimate case to reinvent the wheel. I restored my deleted decorators that did dependency sanitation for me at runtime. The remaining piece of the puzzle was a recursive film iterator to feed the decorators. I checked my file system reader for clues on how to implement one and boom! The one I'd written for two other features was compatible. All I had to do was refactor decorators into dependency rules, give them fancy interfaces for customising and filtering what classes each rule should actually evaluate. In a night's work (if you're discrediting how long writing the original sanitization decorators and directory iterator), I coupled the Deptrac/phparkitect library of my dreams. This is one of the those few times I feel like a supreme deity
Hope I can eat better and get some sleep. This meme is me after getting bounced by those three library rejections
-
4 hours wasted due to a rather strange "scope poisoning" bug... it was really fucking strange.
Had to move the 5 lines of code, above where the error happened, to a private function.
The 5 lines just called an XLSX library which read a given file and returned an array. I don't know how but the thing somehow messed with my Soap client call one line below. The culprit must have been some IO resource handle which didn't get destroyed when in the same scope due to persisting object references..1 -
Can you recommend me some simple php+mysql based backend framework in order to build a simple rest api (with login, signup, scope data) ?6
-
which is the best cloud provider for a complete beginner (user/dev) in terms of community support, employer preference and user-friendliness?
i know that understanding the tech and concepts behind it matters more than getting familiarized with a specific platform, but i'm looking to build a more diverse profile and have noticed many positions asking for AWS/Azure experience.
since i'll be starting from scratch, any provider with easy-to-follow documentation, online help and certifications that don't leave you broke (would have to pay myself, earn very less as a student from a third-world country, parents/current employer can't support) would work.9 -
What is it with web devs that can't write effective PHP applications that don't need a 1 GB of Memory Limit?
Where are the days that 32MBs of memory was fine per request? Ugh...2 -
We should replace word PHP with Laravel, coz most PHP developers know how to do something in Laravel but they can’t do that in PHP:D6
-
My team and me nearly finished a big new feature for our website.
I am a junior dev and this was the first big thing I was in charge of and now that I see how it unfold I feel really bad.
It consists of php backend (integrated into a 20 years old monolith) and vue frontend (punctually jumpstarted by a clusterfuck of typescript files included into php rendered html) and especially the frontend part looks so bad.
Vue is relatively young in our project and almost nobody has a clue about it. I learned so much about vue in the process, but the result is a behemoth of awfulness that grew over several months.
I have a really strong desire rewrite the whole mess, but I will never be officially allowed because it works and practically all the flaws in our code base are subject to the classic
"well, someday, somebody probably has to do something about that, but for now let's start this shiny new feature"
So for now I think about doing it secretly and pass it to my buddy to review it. I guess chances are high that not even the colleagues in my team (apart from my buddy) are going to notice, since they aren't as interested into vue as I am and don't have the overview over this features code as I do, but on the other hand it feels like something I could get in trouble for and apart from the cursed code base my company is great.
Have you ever bin that disgusted by your own production code before it was even one year old?3 -
Hello Mr. Internet,
I just wanted to ask if someone knows an "easy" solution for a Bitcoin Cashback system. We're using Amazon, Ebay & AWIN as affiliate Partners.
If you could build something like this, I would love to speak to you!
At the moment we're updating our DB (11 Million Products) and we'll include a better Search. Right after that we would like to add an Accountsystem + BTC Cashback.
I used DevRant back in 2016. Is someone out here?
9 -
No one: ...
Me in Monday morning: "The mysqli extension is missing. please check your php configuration. wamp"
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View