Turns out I'm terrible at meeting people. Go figure, it's the cliche of being a dev.

I just moved into a pretty nice apartment in a nice area, but I I know literally nobody here aside from coworkers. The only friend I have left that hasn't moved away is in jail for a good while. 😧

The only place I can think to meet people is at a bar/club - which isn't really my thing. Even then, just walking up to a stranger and striking up a conversation just seems fucking weird to me.

Anybody have any advice on making new friends in basically a new town?

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    If you find a good answer and it works, let me know it please.
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    Out of curiosity, why is your friend in jail?

    Also, various conventions and fandoms worked well for me.
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    In some cities there are "New in <city>" Facebook groups, for that purpose. Also Meetups worked for me pretty well. I also found quite a lot of tech Meetups sometimes with free food and beer.
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    Congrats on moving to a nicer place.

    I don't think bars or clubs are ideal places to find friends.

    I'm not trying to make a taboo or stereotype of them, if you enjoy that experience, nothing wrong with that, feel free to go (I know I did when I was younger).

    But for finding friends specially for shy devs, I would recommend other social environments.

    Think of places a hypothetical friend of you would hang out at.

    For me, I guess I would try places like chess clubs, theater or music related, geek related places, something like that where people is intellectual, empathetic.

    I wouldn't retry too much if I don't feel comfortable on the first try, or second at very most.
    So there's definitely a bit of a grind, or search for that place where you feel ok.

    It's important to have an open mind and being humble when meeting new people.
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    Another very, very important tip is to be well groomed.

    It goes a long way in the search for friends.

    dress ok, have good hygiene, body odor under control, and good breath. A decent subtle perfume is very important too.

    I mentioned it already, but GOOD BREATH, since everyone naturally enjoys the experience of good smells, but dislike talking to someone who literally smells like they ate shit.

    I know this sounds like shit for hooking up, but it plays a very important role in finding friends, first impressions are universally important.

    Agree with @Wolle on finding friends in meetups, very good place for that.
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    @BadFox The word is that he hit his wife, but I know from personal experience just how psycho (literally diagnosed crazy) the woman is, so it's just as likely she hurt herself and blamed him.

    @erandria Solid advice, thank you. I'll definitely be trying your suggestions. And I agree good hygiene is important. Not only for meeting new people, but to keep my rather nice job - it is a requirement. I hope I didn't give the impression that I'm a grubby person... 😓
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    @Gogeta70 oh not at all, there was no info in your post to determine your hygiene level, so good to know you care about that.

    good luck on the search although you can hit ssj4 bro, this should be easy...
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    Use tinder to meet people
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    TBH, start playing MMOs or any multiplayer for that matter. You might end up meeting a few people that are enjoyable enough to hang out with.

    Also, most "nice apartments" have socials or meet and greets. This might be a good opportunity to meet some people.

    Last but not least lol.... Find you one good friend who is loud and pretty much a social animal. This way when they make a new friend, you will make a new friend.

    --I don't accept cash only bitcoin for my advice. I will even accept dogecoin :p

    --Not sure why I air quoted nice apartments >.>
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    I know it feels lonely, but realize it’s perfectly normal for it to be hard to make friends as an adult.

    Don’t need to rush anything, find something that you enjoy, and your friends will come to you.
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    Join communities around your location, attend hackathons, take part in activities which would interest you. That way you'd have a greater chance of meeting people within your frame of mind without going out of your comfort zone (parties etc.).
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    @Gogeta70 ahhh, lovely how balanced the law is for both genders in a relationship. 😅
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    @BadFox Someone's been reading my past rants? Lol you're dead fucking on man. Life's a bitch and then you marry one. FML.
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    @Gogeta70 mmm, don't plan to have a relationship anytime soon. Divorce and breakups happen way too often and I'd rather wait forever alone than have to go through that bullshit.
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