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Search - "socializing"
Was over at a friend's place for the first time in months again to just have a few drinks and some good time with two of my best friends when I wanted to show them a website.
Had my own phone turned off (NO phone use while socializing for me!) so asked one of them (the one who's still finding his way around the concept of online privacy) for their phone so I could show it.
He uses loads of Google things so I started to look for the chrome icon. Swiping all ways but couldn't find it... then suddenly:
DuckDuckGo search/browser icon!
Me: dude the what?! YOU using a more privacy conscious browser?!?!?!
Friend: well, Google doesn't need to know EVERYTHING I search for online so I looked if ddg had an app and voila!
Me: de damn! And, how do you like it?
Friend: the results are good so nothing to complain about!
I'm proud of you, mate!9
I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.
Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):
"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"
Excuse me but fuck right off.
Because you know what, I am currently socializing.
Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.
I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.
I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.
But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.
Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.
Sincerely fuck off please.11
How do I keep improving as a developer?
Well I think of the fucking misery I would have to face, if I don't.
(i.e going to clubs and socializing)2
So yesterday, literally just hours after i basically said on somebody elses rant "friends are overrated," i ran into a friend i havent seen in over a year and we ended up chatting for an hour after she gave me a ride home. I was in such a good mood after and I realized its the first socializing ive done outside of talking to work people or my partner in over a month. I like to spend most of my time alone, and since i discovered coding i try to spend every spare second writing code, but it turns out a social life is actually really important 😯😯4
> Root struggles with her ticket
> Boss struggles too
> Also: random thoughts about this job
I've been sick lately, and it's the kind of sick where I'm exhausted all day, every day (infuriatingly, except at night). While tired, I can't think, so I can't really work, but I'm during my probationary period at work, so I've still been doing my best -- which, honestly, is pretty shit right now.
My current project involves legal agreements, and changing agent authorization methods (written, telephone recording, or letting the user click a link). Each of these, and depending on the type of transaction, requires a different legal agreement. And the logic and structure surrounding these is intricate and confusing to follow. I've been struggling through this and the project's ever-expanding scope for weeks, and specifically the agreements logic for the past few days. I've felt embarrassed and guilty for making so little progress, and that (and a bunch of other things) are making me depressed.
Today, I finally gave up and asked my boss for help. We had an hour and a half call where we worked through it together (at 6pm...). Despite having written quite a bit of the code and tests, he was often saying things like "How is this not working? This doesn't make any sense." So I don't feel quite so bad now.
I knew the code was complex and sprawling and unintuitive, but seeing one of its authors struggling too was really cathartic.
On an unrelated note, I asked the most senior dev (a Macintosh Lisa dev) why everything was using strings instead of symbols (in Rails) since symbols are much faster. That got him looking into the benchmarks, and he found that symbols are about twice as fast (for his minimal test, anyway), and he suggested we switch to those. His word is gold; mine is ignorable. kind of annoying. but anyway, he further went into optimizing the lookup of a giant array of strings, and discovered bsearch. (it's a divide-and-conquer lookup). and here I am wondering why they didn't implement it that way to begin with. 🙄
I don't think I'm learning much here, except how to work with a "mature" codebase. To take a page from @Rutee07, I think "mature" here means the same as in porn: not something you ever want ot see or think about.
I mean, I'm learning other things, too, like how to delegate methods from one model to another, but I have yet to see why you would want to. Every use of it I've explored thus far has just complicated things, like delegating methods on a child of a 1:n relation to the parent. Which child? How does that work? No bloody clue! but it does, somehow, after I copy/pasted a bunch of esoteric legacy bs and fussed with it enough.
I feel like once I get a good grasp of the various payment wrappers, verification/anti-fraud integration, and per-business fraud rules I'll have learned most of what they can offer. Specifically those because I had written a baby version of them at a previous job (Hell), and was trying to architect exactly what this company already has built.
I like a few things about this company. I like my boss. I like the remote work. I like the code reviews. I like the pay. I like the office and some socializing twice a year.
But I don't like the codebase. at all. and I don't have any friends here. My boss is friendly, but he's not a friend. I feel like my last boss (both bosses) were, or could have been if I was more social. But here? I feel alone. I'm assigned work, and my boss is friendly when talking about work, but that's all he's there for. Out of the two female devs I work with, one basically just ignores me, and the other only ever talks about work in ways I can barely understand, and she's a little pushy, and just... really irritating. The "senior" devs (in quotes because they're honestly not amazing) just don't have time, which i understand. but at the same time... i don't have *anyone* to talk to. It really sucks.
I'm not happy here.
I miss my last job.
But the reason I left that one is because this job allows me to move and work remotely. I got a counter-offer from them exactly matching my current job, sans the code reviews. but we haven't moved yet. and if I leave and go back there without having moved, it'll look like i just abandoned them. and that's the last thing I want them to think.
So, I'm stuck here for awhile.
not that it's a bad thing, but i'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed. and it's just not a good fit. but maybe I'll actually start learning things. and I suppose that's also why I took the job.
So, ever onward, I guess.
It would just be nice if I could take some of the happy along with me.8
I joined based on a friend invitation, then he didn’t attend...
It was two days hackathon...
Spent the first day trying to find any thing to do... but didn’t!
Slept in the place chatting and socializing...
Built a prototype in two hours, photoshop a presentation in two hours... waited 3 hours to the end of the event... present my Working POC...
Won second place and qualified to the world wide competition!2
1. Socializing with lots of people is tiring (if it’s a few then it’s okay)
2. I want to build something useful around me
3. It looks cool3
Have deleted FB account and uninstalled the app. Devrant gives me all I need for socializing with like minded people.. fuck u fb..9
at the game jam afterparty everyone where trying to speak with my husband, instead of me. I saw human version of blue screens when was asked to list my project team and I didn't mention him.
- A-a-and what did Rik do?
- Oh, he didn't participate, he's a journalist and my +1 here. 😅3
Conferences do a great job reminding me of bad I am at socializing. I'm not antisocial, just legitimately bad at socializing. I need to practice more, I wonder if there's an app for that 🤔15
When you have been anonymously voted for the team leader and you know only two names from your 80 people class.2
Today I learned in a cafe why (some) users think that Facebook doesn't allow them data control. Due to drunkness I'm paraphrasing here, but it went something like this:
- I don't trust Facebook, because my posts that I make are visible to people that I didn't want to have it be seen to.
> Audience controls. Use them.
- This guy in town sent me a friend request, why would he be able to??1!1
> He and you share hometown. So probably friend suggestions based on you both explicitly sharing location, or he just visited your profile on name and wanted to get in touch with you. Socializing on the internet, it exists.
That's the kind of user that's roaming the facebooks on the internets and the googles I guess? The type of user that's surprised that their Facebook games and nametests expose information that they explicitly consent to? Give me a break. I care deeply about privacy, but this is just ridiculous.
Fuck ignorant users!!!10
At a cafe, usually. I've found this cool coder meetup on Saturday mornings. A couple of techies just working on their laptops or socializing, depending on the mood. I'm more motivated with other people working around me.3
Wtf. So if I say I'm a web developer and I say I'm from Russia. Then I am automatically a hacker for you? "Web developer + Russian = 95% chance of being a hacker". Yeah, right. Since now, right after I say I'm from Russia I always add this: "No, I'm not a hacker and no, I didn't hack the last election, but I can tell you your last four digits of your SSN if you show me your debit card". Guess what, no one wants to talk to me anymore.12
When your boss force you to go to client land and do some socializing, for God sake I'm a developer not a f***en public relations employee3
I'm glad I have a job where we don't have team 'building' nonsense. We just come in and we team-build on the spot, as in, we get along.
Oh, the nightmare of my previous job where they resented employees for not joining some stupid party where they all got drunk and had forced 'fun'. I like authentic environments.5
Stuck at some dumb company event where attendance is mandatory. I'm supposed to answer technical questions if needed, but I suck at socializing with customers, and the sales guys are already chatting people up about the products I've developed so I don't have anything left to talk about. Not that anyone asks much about the tech behind the shiny GUI anyway...
Should i just leave? I doubt anyone would notice...9
Is it weird that I avoid forced socializing in my office? On mondays in the mornings we have a breakfast where essentially people gather (its a small gathering with 3 founders 1 cto and 3 employees), they have some pastries and juice.
And then they are talking about some bullshit for one hour.
For me personally monday mornings are for coffee and contemplation. I dont want to listen how boring their weekend was and try to impress them with my boring weekend. All that interaction feels so fake shallow and politically correct.
Dont get me wrong I care about my colleagues and what goes on in their life, but this forced monday morning and forced friday afternoon 1 hour gatherings are sooo draining and useless for me. I feel that only couple people are actually open during them and others are never sharing about their life, so esentially that gathering becomes an interrogation of 2-3ppl and topic revolves about them.
Gosh its draining. Gonna “be late” tomorrow again bcs I dont care. I would rather come in and go straight to work.
Having a beer after working means 100 times for me than that shallow and pretentious forced socializing that these guys are pushing so hard. Almost feels like micromanagement on personal level.5
- being sat at an office that didn't have chairs with proper back support. It would kill my back every day. Like sitting on a bar stool coding.
- not having access to basic resources (cafeteria, salary bonuses)
- being seriously underpaid ($200 under)
- not having an IT process pipeline (yeah, this is a huge one): no JIRA, no git, no VCS, no continuous integration, etc. I fucking spend 45% of the time fixing coding-unrelated shit.
Second company (very aggravating):
- dumb frontend bitch and privileged colleague who both kept telling me months on end to shut up and who wouldn't listen to my advice on anything, while my advice would actually help the company advance in productive ways. The key here is being told to shut up while stagnating. i.e. dead end job.
- people advancing in the company based on nepotism and favoritism, based on having tits and ass, rather than skills and independence.
- pointlessssssssss meetings where decisions are made solely based on the opinion of Mr. favorite senior dev. The rest just sits there like a bunch of sad saps and yay-nodders. Incompetent PO's who "would like to hear your input" but then when you give it, they completely dismiss you.
- pointlessssssssss monthly meetings with stakeholders, where the dev teams do nothing but clash and act like pussies in front of the PM just to get in his favor, but behind scenes continue to make the same mistakes and telling the CEO everything is fine. Goodness, how can it get more unproductive.
- completely antisocial and nepotistic 'colleagues' who won't even talk to you, let alone smile at you or be friendly. You saying good morning and them pretending you're vapor that doesn't exist. Go go company atmosphere! Especially during lunch, those are the worst times. Imagine sitting at lunch where everyone looks like you killed their dog and the rest is huddled up in little high school groups.
What else? The incessant and pointless smalltalk that makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Talking about dogs, kids, what show was on tv last night. The fuck man, do you have a brain?!
- HR bitches who think they are the shit and developers are antisocial, helpless misfits, but they work with computers and they don't even fucking know what a status bar is! The irony!
- forced socializing and stigmatization for the opposite. Imagine coming into a company and you don't say good morning. Should that be a problem? No. Instead, everyone starts dogging on you and hating you just because you didn't smile in their faces and said: hiiiiiiiiiiii how did you sleep? Did you feed your dog? Fuck you.
Elliot (Mr. Robot): "Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a mute button for life?" -boop, boop, boop, boop...- Ahh.. there.. that's much better."
- CEO's sucking up to you but when it comes to salary increase, they say shit like: "Ahhh ya know, it's kinda difficult." Yet another dead end job.2
We are currently under 21 days quarantine and today I realized that my day to day life style hasn't changed at all. Except that now I am working from home...
I really need to start socializing more and possibly get a hobby or something like that... 🤦♂️8
The Sorry State of Web programming (and who should be punished for it)
"And if you’re really lucky, and your following grows to scientology-levels of fanaticism you may get your own con. Yes con. Like DockerCon, or JsCon, or LongConJs, because thats exactly what all this is — and it’s exactly what we need: more excuses to meet up for the already sterile pollination of bedfellows, the unwashed, unvarnished masses of guys in their 30s, obsessively stroking their perfectly manicured beards and arguing over the comparative differences between vim versus emacs while completely oblivious about things like how you’re supposed to wear an undershirt with your button up. If not for hackathons, and ted talks, and sxsw, and conferences, and SomethingCons, and ‘retreats’, and dozens of other pointless synonyms for ‘people just meeting up’, most of us would still be in our cubicle, office, or room, typing away instead of socializing like normal people."
Full post here because I like to insert pictures because like all normie fucking simpletons I like pictures in my books.
Warning: This is gonna come across as a little cringe/self-pitying, but whatever
Jesus Christ I'm so fucking lonely it literally hurts. I know I should be grateful I have a hobby in coding, also recently I got my first job as a developer (even if I'm overworked and paid shit all with poor job security), but I swear what will eventually kill me will be my own hand cos this empty feeling is unbearable at times.
Also, I'll try to ask this in the most politically correct way possible: how do you single guys in your 20s/30s cope with the lack of females in the industry? I absolutely do not mean this in a "making-unwarranted-advances" sort of way; I just mean that we're biologically wired to desire some form of interaction with the opposite sex (unless you're queer), and this happens naturally in most professions but obviously not engineering/software dev. It's especially difficult when you don't have a big social circle so your job basically becomes your life.
So... For those of you who can relate, what do you do? Do you make an effort to socialize outside work? Or maybe you're lucky enough to work somewhere with a diverse mix of people? Should I blame Zuckerberg for damaging my adolescent brain and turning me into a needy piece of crap?8
I don't know how many of you here will understand/feel what I feel but here goes nothing
I'm the kind of person who's very calm and like sitting and talking to a friend over using a mobile phone or something. I mean, it's not like I don't use mobile phones at all but yeah.
At this point, I think my smartphone is just a waste of time. Whenever I'm bored or feel lazy, the first thing I do is unlock my phone and randomly see something online. Even though I have nothing important. I feel like it's almost cutting me off from the real world. Maybe in that time, instead of using the mobile for nothing, I could go talk to someone, go for a walk, exercise, think, etc. I even see group of friends sitting in a circle, but no one's talking. Only using their phones.
And let alone socializing, I think you miss a lot of "me" time as well (oh I like meditation and shit haha).
I'm thinking of switching to a non-smartphone. But still we are developers/engineers/designers, and for us to stay away from technology is not easy when we're the ones making it. I love what I do but at the same time I also want feel life.12
Turns out I'm terrible at meeting people. Go figure, it's the cliche of being a dev.
I just moved into a pretty nice apartment in a nice area, but I I know literally nobody here aside from coworkers. The only friend I have left that hasn't moved away is in jail for a good while. 😧
The only place I can think to meet people is at a bar/club - which isn't really my thing. Even then, just walking up to a stranger and striking up a conversation just seems fucking weird to me.
Anybody have any advice on making new friends in basically a new town?14
Damn, help me guys. Tomorrow I'm invited to a "friends" party.
Don't want to go, but have to. I hate partys. I hate all this shit, alcohol, drunk people. Have to stay there for at least 6h, until 1am or so. I hate drinking alcohol, doing stupid alcohol drinking games.
And I don't like this friend. I don't have much contact with him in the last few months. I thought he would understand that I don't like him. But no - he never lets me alone. Don't want this.
Let me fucking code - I want to have my free time, let me alone. Don't need that friends. The school mates on my apprenticeship are good enough for me, they are friendly, thinking the same way and don't drink alcohol all the time.
I hate this. Damn. Hopefully I will survive this fucking party. Maybe I can browse devRant half time of the party.
Am I the only one who doesn't need all that shit? Partys, alcohol, social interaction all the time?19
A big part of my frustration as a programmer is that I don't have a lot of friends that are on a similar level that are willing to let me bounce ideas off of them. The last few years I've been flying blind with no external frame of reference except for the few really beginner dev friends that I have.
Where do you people socialize? IRC has long been... well, kinda dead compared to how it was 15 years ago or before. I have ideas that I'd love to discuss with others in the same sphere of interests but simply cannot find them.
How to decide between staying in for projects and coding or going out for movies, meetups etc?! HOW?
When is it wasting time, and when is it necessary level of socializing?6
me making new dev friends
me: yeah that's cool what IDE are you using for C++?
guy: like an editor where I write the code?
guy: hold on, I don't know what it was called
> taps around his desktop
> guy shows word 2007
> I'm laughing a bit uncomfortably because I'm not sure whether he is serious or not
> guy opens up .cpp file in word
> so many questions
How do you deal with a developer that constantly challenges your propositions in a rhetorical matter?
For example, say if we have a problem and I propose solution A (along with my reasons why), the developer would then shoot it down - not with another alternative solution or exploration path but instead a rhetorical question.
It has gotten *exhausting* working with this person because every interaction becomes almost a debate. This isn’t just particularly with development but even during casual discussions.
I’ve even tried asking “so what would you suggest?” in which they would answer with confidence in a rhetorical matter - but without any concrete decision making (but at the same time sounding like they did make one).
We work in a team and nobody has taken the reigns of leadership (he’s quiet most meetings), so I decided to take initiative and make the calls. All of a sudden, he has a voice that is mostly axed towards being argumentative than productive. It has come to a point where I’ve just stopped making propositions because I’ve become exhausted trying to defend myself and literally repeating something like 4-5 times, however this is a project that needs to be delivered and because we work closely together, I can’t just ignore him and do my own thing.13
Follow up to my previous rant:
I find a random bush more amusing and interesting than whatever's happening around me.
My next project is a functional fitness/crossfit application and my client requires me to attend and participate sessions with them in order for me to understand and appreciate the sport. I got the point but OMG I only know sports via tv,youtube,etc.. and not really fun of socializing. I might die doing this project. Help me!4
Ding... Ding... Ding... Thats the sound my mail client makes when somebody forks UnrealEngine and gives everybody push access. #MailParty #Socializing1
Honestly guys, I don't like to go to meetups and I'll tell you why:
You just sit there listening to a badly explained piece of the puzzle by some guys who care more about networking credit than the technology itself.
I know there are meetups with real enthusiasts but even then, I find the level of depth very unsatisfactory because they barely scratch the surface on the topic.
You end up leaving the event having wasted your time and your evening, while you could have been out doing something much more fun.
Here's what I do: I look up the meeting details and I see what they're going to talk about. Then, I look up information about that and I study it on my own.
* I get a lot more information than a mere one or two vague words about the topic combined with some silly demo that doesn't really teach anyone anything at all
* I get to digest the information at my processing speed
* I don't have to deal with the stress of trying to make small talk with people I don't know
I'm sure someone has felt like this at one point or another, especially in corporate.2
My motivation disappears day by day more when wfh. Always sitting in the same flat drives me crazy and I'm missing socializing (as a person more on the introvert side).3
How much time a week to you spend socializing away from the computer?
More interestingly, how does this compare to how much you would like to be socializing?
Myself. I would say it is around 2-5 hours per week and I wish it was closer to 7-109
Browsing through an old project of mine which let you make 3D scans of a person with a Kinect and easily add it to a game.
I worked on it during my minor in Japan. It's such a clusterfuck of code and different pieces of software glued together. But man, I had _so_ much fun making it. Funny enough it brings back great memories of the time I spent there.
I'm amazed I was able to finish it in time, or at least something that resembles "finished". Literally the day before I went on a three week round trip I had to demo it. And it worked reasonably well. I'm so glad the professor didn't screw me over on that one. Then again the other person working on a project there only made a simple raspberry pi space invaders. Haha. What a lazy cunt. We were literally told we could do _anything_ we found interesting.
I don't blame him though, he wanted to spend (and did spend) most of his time partying and socializing while he was there. Good for him :)
I should post this baby up on Github, even though it's a shit stain of a project. I want to improve on it when I have time. Who knows, someone might actually view/use it once. That would make me so happy, even if he doesn't do anything with it.1
Does anyone actually compete in online hackathons? Honestly it defeats the whole networking and socializing aspect and just seems like a way to fool developers into creating free products using company apis...3
That feeling when you were sick as shh and almost good now after eating good pepperoni sausages and wine, suddenly getting energy and reminiscing about : (1. Biggest priority)
1. Am I really going to play with code side project it's Saturday
2. Nah I'm still going to play Dota or wow or idk
3. Laying in bed devranting and telling to myself am I that tired and lazy to do the above ones? Nah it's just socializing
4. Laying in the bed turning the phone display down ?
Yeah tough choices probably get some wine and do some music idk man
It really depends on what time of the year it is. During the fall and spring semesters, my dev life and social life are about as balanced as they're going to get. From working on things in the CS class to socializing with the people I've met in those classes, this part of the year is pretty balanced in my opinion. During breaks and the summer, however, I don't really have a dev life. I don't have a dev job, so really the only times I do have a dev life is when I willingly decide to work on a side project, or have to update some major stuff on one of my three personal websites. Other than that, the only life I have during those breaks is my social life with the buddies I play PC games with on Discord.
I will say this, though. The day will come when I will be having to balance a dev life and a social life year-round. To be honest, I'm not really looking forward to that day.