npm:
WARN this did not fail, something might be wrong.

Committing typo fixes in documentation to appear as being "at work".

I am currently working as a consultant and I like it. It also makes upset/happy/schadenfroh (not entirely sure how I feel about it) when we tell the client what work needs to be done in which order and why just so they can throw it all overboard and we do it the way they want it and it bites them in the ass a few month down the line.
They hire us for the external professional experience that we bring, so listen to us. We did this before, we know what works, and we know way your way does not work.

What a nice way of saying: Forgetting idiot!
The ghost of past me.

It always amuses me when companies pay only "competitively", don't create a good working culture and then complain about high turnover. Money pays bills no matter what. Employees don't jump (easily) to other jobs when the pay isn't significant better. But if your culture is toxic, employees even take a paycut just to get out.

Why is there so much stuff to learn and know? I just want to be able to do everything myself in a week.

What the Fuck do you want?:

I am finally again at a company where I enjoy working and my coworkers are great that makes it easy staying motivated. Besides that need to provide for my family.

Am I the only one the sometimes just makes a PR that won't fix the issue but at least shuts everybody up so I can investigate in peace.

My bosses, bosses, boss asked to call me up unexpectedly:
BBBoss:" Just wanted to say we are really happy with your performance, especially in these tough circumstances, ... "
Me thinking: "Ah, great I am getting laid off."
BBBoss: " ... which is why we decided to give you and extra 1000$ in you next paycheck."
Me: "??? ... for real."
BBBoss: "yes, thank you for your hard work."
Me: "I am still employed?"
BBBoss (laughs) :"Yes, we are happy to have you."

little typo making my day now, and let to this little "improvment":
$ git config --global alias.vomit commit

At a previous company we hired an 18 year old guy and father from a minority and without a high school degree. He could write enough code to get the job. However, he took 3h long lunches, came in late to work and apparently had a problem taking orders from women. At one point all the juniors got an earful because of his attitude and he got let go, not long after. It still saddens me because he could have made a really good career if wasn't for his attitude.

I am I the only one who doesn't like sprint demos? I don't care what someone else worked on. Yeah they wrote some code that does stuff, great. I don't have time to understand it and when I have to fix it I learn it.

Things like this make me nervous ...

Parental Programming: noun 1. Between chaning diapers and preparing milk bottles you contemplate about the code you are going to write. So in the 5 min you get to do it you can punch it out almost perfectly before you have to clean vomit from a carpet.

If it's running on Windows it's not production.

The overall theme of my job is being fast. Unfortunately our managers don't understand that if you are efficient you become fast as a result. So all we are doing is basically a lot of quick occupational therapy and blowing hot air.

- don't get fired
- start teaching side business
- take care of family/wife

If I wanted to become a hacker here is what I would do to cover my steps: 1.) Buying a used Laptop with cash, and picking it up in person.
2.) Using random coffee shops to work by dice roll. Obviously at least a d20 and at least 20 coffee shops.
3.) Installing Linux, probably Manjaro. (Not Kali because I've heard that is watched)
What are your thoughts?

Just because I don't believe in "the mission", doesn't mean I am not coming in and not giving up to ~60% every work day.

Don't play the game, play the players. ;-P

I made the perfect situational joke:
I was explaining physics to a coworker and stating that the only particles that are important for everyday life are protons, electrons and neutrons.
CW:" What about neutrinos? You don't care about them?"
Me:" No, I don't. Wanna know why?"
CW:"Yes, tell me."
ME:" Because, they don't matter!"

So my company is using the cheapest software products out there; to save money of course. Naturally you pay what you get for, aka shitty products. I wonder how much money we waste by demotivated engineers using this Scheisse!

I am trying to get my company to support Linux (Fedora) for engineers. Currently we support Windows and Mac. Does any of you have some good reasons for my case to make my argument for the business perspective?

When you leave your hood and the season changes instantly ...

I am introducing the Thunderdome policy:
2 Tickets enter 1 Ticket leaves. (Aka 1 Ticket gets worked on the other one gets deleted.)

Learning from Micrsoft; I present: LDD
License Driven Development

Software Installation happens through "point and click", also does system configuration and infrastructure. Servers are _pets_ and get reused and re-purposed after decommissioning. Command Lines, Terminals and scripting languages are buh and scary; We don't use them. Repetitive tasks are good, because once you know them you can do them faster and better. Windows servers are good, because we want to be like Microsoft ...

Just had the best meeting since I started here. The DBAs couldn't attend so we decided to postpone the meeting for two weeks. After that we started talking about beer and now I have 5 names of different beers that I want to try :-)

I am always looking forward to the weekend to have some time to work on my side projects, and then I can't get my ass up to do it.