What’s the quickest way to die painlessly?

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Well the problem is nobody knows, cause all suicide victims denied confession.

Self.delete() or free(self)

End the simulation.
Teleport yourself.
Turn off your pain receptors, then an hero however.
Have someone put you to 'sleep.'
Cryonics + hammer.
Jump into a supernova.
Jump into the LHC.
Get taken over by Agent Smith.
Fall on Death's scythe. (Or Hela's)
Go back in time and kill your father/grandmother/ancestorus amoeba.
Have the Guide mark II turn you into a sausage.
Give Thanos the infinity stone gauntlet and play some catchy flamenco.

Even though i do know the answer from alot of research years back. I'm not going to tell anybody that asks, find somebody to talk to instead

If you think about painless as something fast take a look at Reeker, it's a slasher movie but it can make you wonder on how relative a "fast" death can be. But the only painless death I can think of is the one of someone dying peacefully, gracefully accepting death, without regrets. There are suicide survivour stories out there worth taking a look at... Also if you think about painless for the ones left behind, take a look at Prayers for Bobby.

@Jilano apart from being torn apart by tidal forces (differences in gravity because you're not a point mass) well before you hit event horizon.

And also you can't transmit information across the event horizon so even if you did somehow get there your Nobel Prize winning insights will be locked away and be slowly re-emitted over trillions of years as Hawking radiation.

Edit: Please ignore me, I'm sleepy as hell and nitpicky too apparently, sorry.

@OP c'mon, talk to somebody. Or us.

I'll tell you the most painful way to go... Writing JS.

Can you tell us why are you thinking of going offline?

Start speaking truth. Not a single lie.

there's a site with a pretty comprehensive comparison table of how long each of the common methods take, how painful it is, and how certain it is to do the job.

i usually link it when i'm responding to this kind of question when i can be reasonably sure the person who asked isn't actually going to try.

Hypoxia. 👌🏼 You’ll even be stoked that you’re dying... never knew it was that dangerous until a confined space course but there you go. Sweetest way to go

If it's painless, why would it need to be fast?
Fastest is anything which will destroy the brain, a C4 crown should be *very* fast...
But an environment with neither oxygen or carbon dioxide will kill you pretty quickly, and you'll just fall asleep.

@RememberMe @Jilano It's physics time!

You can cross the event horizon of a black hole pretty much without incident. You would never even notice. Being torn apart by tidal forces (spaghettification) would happen much later as you infell towards the singularity/ringularity. That would also be the scariest and most painful way to die. Probably very slow, too, as you would be spiraling inward for potentially months, depending on the size and angular momentum of the black hole. The effects of time dialation could be interesting, though, as time would pass more slowly on the portion of your body closer to the ringularity. It would be noticable only during spaghettification due to the gravitational gradient, though, so you'd probably be preoccupied. At that point you would be experiencing ever-increasing pain in a gradient from one side of your body to the other, ending with those portions of your body being literally pulled off. You would turn into meat spaghetti. Looking up, you would see a view of the stars slowly shrinking to a point, with complete blackness on all other sides. It would be lonely and boring.

As for helping science a lot with the data... not really. Your gradual change in speed and direction as you begin orbiting the black hole (due to frame dragging; think whirlpool minus the water) would allow inferring the black hole's mass and spin / angular momentum, but that is all. Apart from this forced orbiting, to an outside observer, you would appear to slow down as you approached the event horizon, and as soon as you passed through it, you would just slowly fade away, never to reappear.

Tl;dr
Falling into a black hole would be mostly useless to observers, and could easily be the slowest and most painful death possible. 0/10 do not recommend

Why does it have to be quick if it's painless?

@Root agreed for the most part (though I think it won't be entirely useless because a black hole is a high gravity lab, could do some pretty cool stuff there, at the very least test relativity)

(Had to check) According to an extremely shady back of the envelope calculation considering a human as two 50kg point masses 1m apart connected by a massless rod, placed one Schwarzschild radius away from a hole, you're right for supermassive black holes but for solar mass ones the tension is enormous at the horizon so you'll be torn apart way before (which makes sense I guess, but still, shady calculation). Oh well.

Sorry for the thread hijack OP.

@RememberMe Yep yep. Results depend entirely on the black hole's mass/size. I was basing my description on supermassives like the M87 black hole.

@bigus-dickus it's a legit paradox, the back hole information paradox.

It also breaks a lot of very nice properties of quantum systems.

Folks he has had no activity on here since the original post, can someone do a welfare check of some sort .. figure out who he is.

@QuanticoCEO I was wondering that too
tried, can't find any identifying data

@RememberMe how do we contact the makers of the app, they should have the ability to look into this.

@M1sf3t well how to we get in contact with @dfox so he can welfare check or call someone who can

@Root from what something i watched years ago said that if you were falling into a black hole at the point that you hit the event horizon from outside of it it would look like a still photo since the light you reflected off would stay in place cause of the event horizon being the speed of light(also why it's the point of no return)

@PerfectAsshole Yes. A perfect still image, slowly fading into blackness as the photons slowly escape the gravity well. In your final moments, you saved countless trillions of photons by reflecting them back to safety.

Is life really worth living?