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Mam: Hey can I ask you a question about Facebook?

Me: (Christ give me strength) ... sure whats up?

Mam: You know when you get a notification and you click on it and see what someone uploaded?

Me: ... you are not on Facebook, you can't be getting notifications

Mam: well I do. Is it possible to...

Me: No hang on a second, it is 110% not possible for this to happen. Something else is going on that you think is a notification.

Mam: You know when you are on, and you see a message like "12 new notifications"

Me: on? on what? this is happening on your phone is it? Can I see?

Mam: No its on my laptop at home.

Me: ... you have an old laptop with an old windows, you can't get notifications on it.

Mam: OH FOR GOD SAKE! ... you know when you are in your emails and it says "12 new notifications"?

Me: ... right so we are talking about EMAILS about unread notifications and not getting notifications on your phone. So you have an old account then that you don't use?

Mam: Yeah I don't know the password to it, haven't logged in, in years.

Me: of course

Mam: Right anyway. When I get one and click on it, lets say its about you, can you see me reading your notifications?

Me: ..... you can't not read my notifications.

Mam: uh, can you see me reading your emails then smart arse?

Me: ... can't do that either.

Mam: So what the hell am I doing then?

Me: You are reading a post someone uploaded, which you got alerted to from an email.

Mam: Right, can you tell when I've read your POST then?!?!?!

Me: no

Mam: was that so hard?

Me: ... yep

Comments
  • 13
    @practiseSafeHex
    This.
    Sums.
    It.
    Up.

    Thank you.
    Now I can show the very definition to colleagues and my Bossman.
    You did well to society.
    Have my Blus.
  • 3
    What if she sends an email to Facebook about a notification with read reciectpts enabled? Then she will get an email saying that Facebook read her notification.
  • 5
    I first thought you were talking about the classic scam with an email stating you have x notifications on an arbitrary website you never registered for
  • 1
    @devs ah yeah. Just like the scam that says you bought x in iTunes and to cancel it you just need to sign in.
  • 2
    You did your part, farewell. 👏
  • 1
    I had to read it all two times to really understand what's going on. And I still have doubts...
  • 1
    Sorry, I'm on your mom's side
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