Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...

Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.

Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.

Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.

Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.

Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.

Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.

Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.

Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.

Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.

Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.

Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]

----

What. The. Fuck.

*opens Facebook*

"No, Wait"

*closes Facebook, opens Devrant*

"Ah, Much better"

"Just saw a great talk about privacy on YouTube, I liked it so much, I shared it on Facebook afterwards"

Mother of god, was listening to the US govt hearing of zuckerberg about the recent scandals. The amount of very fucking simple obvious questions he 'could not' answer normally...

Govt person: Would you be willing to change Facebook's business model if this was required for the security and privacy of Facebook users' accounts?

Zuck: I don't understand your question.

Sorry, WHAT?! You don't need particular rocket science to understand what's being asked here. A combination of common sense and knowing the English language and English grammar in combination with maybe having finished some form of education should be enough to understand this ridiculously easy question.

Do you need it written on a golden plate with fucking blue letters in Facebook's font with the S letters as dollar signs while drinking 10 gallons of 'fuck every persons privacy'?!

Or maybe shoving it up your ass in the form of heated/glowing metal letters of 10+ inches in height? We could arrange that as well.

The news:
"Oh no, big tech companies are taking advantage of our information and tracking everything we do. We're too dependent! "

Us:
"Wow this sounds important. *Googles it *"

"Everyone needs to know, *shares on Facebook*"

Wait.....

NO!

Your Facebook profile is not your "website"!

*Facebook Hackers follow the Rules*
(real story)

TL;DR: sorry, not available, can't do spoilers

One night I was with a group of friends out at a pub. A guy and his girlfriend show up, I didn't know them but they were my friend's friends.

The girl kept bragging the whole time about his boyfriend being a professional programmer, trying to remind it to everybody whenever possible (don't ask me why!).

So, after a while, the discussion moves towards "suspect Facebook activities" and the guy starts saying that he can hack Facebook.

- "What do you mean?", I ask.
- "Hacking into other people's accounts, even with 2 factor authentication. I did it a lot of times"
- "Wait, and they don't notice?"
- "Of course not! ^_^ He's a hacker", the girl replies.

Ok, time to do a coming out.

- "Hey, I'm a developer myself. Can you give me an idea of what you did in technical terms? Did you find a vulnerability? Used a virus? Maybe a keylogger?"
- "No... Uh... Well... The secret is to read the terms of service"
- "What?"
- "Yes... yes it's all in the facebook terms of service..."
- "Uhm, I'm not really sure I'm following. Could you prove it by hacking my Facebook account? I'm giving you the permission".

In less than a minute the discussion flew completely away and they never mentioned computers again.

😂😂

By playing with Facebook source code in browser, you can enable GIF and Markdown, Tip Jar & many more options in comments.

Anyone else loves and uses devrant more than Facebook or Twitter?

I've done it. I've deactivated my facebook. No more useless BuzzFeed videos. Fuck Facebook

Facebook videos will soon autoplay with sound.

It's like I didn't have enough reason to leave facebook already.

Me: I finished the website.
Client: Thanks, It looks really good!
Client: But could you make me a Facebook page instead?

😐

When you catch Facebook Devs testing in prod (beta app though)

Just sharing my experience of my spontaneous interview with Facebook. I'm not good at writing these but here you go :)

- I was working as an Android dev and didn't have much knowledge in algorithms nor competitive programming, never ever interviewed with big companies.
- a random day on LinkedIn, a recruiter from Facebook contacted me
- I ignored it for few week because I thought it's so out of my league, then somehow, out of blue, I had a thought of giving it a try, so I did
- passed first round
- start studying algorithms a little for phone interview in 3 weeks
- recklessly took the phone interview
- passed
- start studying intensively (while working fulltime) for the on-site interview in 2 months
- almost got the job, they gave me one more chance by a followed up interview
- messed up the last chance real bad
- failed!!!
- Initially I just wanted to give it a try, but the fact that I failed at very very last chance, frankly, bothers me a bit. Maybe I will interview with FB or big companies if I have chance later, but I know for sure that the studying had made me a much better dev. All the code I write now is much more efficient (I think), I can and not anymore afraid of reading complicated code.
- Overall, it does takes a lot of time (~4 months studying while working fulltime), but also benefits myself a lot though I didn't get the job, so basically, good experience, but better if I got the job 😁

Oops, wanted to write a few lines and it's a long post already.. I should stop here :D

I have 1.2 MBPS internet connection at home.

However, hardly anything loads or works. The other day, I opened Facebook to find out an event's information.

I fucking scrolled like a Mercedes speeding at 200 kmph on autobahn.

Entire website load even before my thumb reaches the top of my 5 inch device.

Something fishy? Well I ignored it and continue existing.

Few days go by and I am unable to browse Reddit at all.

I am pissed. My parents are unable to use internet at desired speed as well.

I call up my ISP and this time I talk politely (reference to older rant). He said, that my internet bandwidth is choking as soon as I use Reddit.

He asked me to try and browse something else. I open devRant and others apps.

Shit is constipated.

I open YouTube 4K video and shit flowing like liquid diarrhea.

Woah!!! What's happening dude??

He says, they have a special tie up with Google, Facebook and other cock suckers where shit from their servers is directly routed via ISP's drainage to my WiFi.

And bandwidth for browsing these websites is not considered in my 1.2 MBPS limit and throttled separately.

WHERE THE FUCK IS NET NEUTRALITY?

Suck my dick government of India.

Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!

*joins devrant*

*Deletes fb and all social stuff*

*all friends use facebook messenger*

*quietly installs again*

(First world problems)

If Facebook would have bought Github,there would be no more private repos 😶

My mother just read the title of some news article (because, you know, that's all people like her do. Reading misleading news titles. Never the article.) and told me that Facebook will become a paid only service now after everything that happened. I asked her why she thinks that would be even possible, she said it was in the news that "Facebook announced it". When in reality it all was just about one of the questions that Zuckerberg didn't answer with a yes or no at all.

Time to prepare for another wave of posts in every community you visit like "HELP US KEEP FACEBOOK AVAILABLE FOR FREE" or "Facebook won't be free anymore, do this and that now to keep it free!"

And prepare for spam like this in messengers like everytime some misinformation like this spreads.

Just like I now have to prepare for an angry mother who acts like a child because I sent her the first paragraph of said article that says exactly what not happened at all, leaving her feeling stupid once again.

I wonder why people can't learn from their mistakes and do the same thing over and over again, always with the same result.

Humans.

I know this kid who says he hates mark Zuckerberg and Facebook did bad things.

Then I see him using messenger and asked him why he used it when he knows about what they are doing with his data.

He said "they aren't going to do any thing with my info. They only look at important people's info"

I don't know what to say...

There are no stupid questions except for: "Can you help me create an app that's like Facebook but better?"

I'm an experienced developer, in my facebook I liked all the pages about programming languages and developing, but Facebook keeps advertising me "the book to learn how to code in 24 hours" or "the tutorial to build a website without paying a developer" or the one in the image below.

What the fuck facebook? Are you trying to say I'm useless?

So Facebook announced a New Feature which lets you upload nudes which get hashed and on a Blacklist so they can't be uploaded to facebook. And in Order to prevent abuse, a human Reviews the pictures. Genius idea

Just deleted Facebook. Finally done with that bs.

Just saw this in the console today while browsing facebook

Can you hack Facebook?

Now I am underrated because I am a developer/Software engineer and I can't hack a facebook account !

Thanks my society

Minimum requirements for the Facebook application on Windows 10 Mobile.. 2GB RAM like what? 😂😂

!rant
Anyone else replaced endless Facebook browsing with devRant?

I was just starting to lean coding, and had just about learned what the inspector does...

So in a drunken fury I decided I would make a FaceBook/Google hybrid.

So I opened up old trusted chrome, went to Google and hit F12 like the madman I was. Copied everything into my shiny notepad++, went to Facebook and appended my file with their code..

Infuriated that it didn't work I made an SO account and started asking questions. (I have since removed said account out of shame)

I'm not a very clever drunk.. (note I was about 20 by then and should've known better even drunk 😂)

Don't tell me what to do Facebook!

// The pink tint is not a filter but a HTC camera issue

Behind every successful developer there is a deactivated Facebook profile.

I had a scrolling addiction on Facebook, then I installed devRant... I can say that I no longer have a scrolling addiction on Facebook... *No time for Facebook, must read all rants!*

My first unintentional "hack" was in middle school, I had been programming for a couple years already and I was really bored.

My school had blocked facebook, twitter and so on because most students are lazy and think everything revolves around their "descrete" cleavage picture's likes. Any way, I thought most would be naive and desperate enough to fall into a "Facebook unblocked" app at the desktop, the program was fairly simple just a mimicking FB page done on C# ASP that saved user and passwords in an encrypted file.

I distributed it in around 5 computers and by the end of the month I had over 60 accounts, and what did I do? I used it to post a gay relationship between two of my friends on fb (one had a gf), it was dumb but boy did I laughed, after that I erased everything as it didn't seem so important.

That movie about Facebook being made is so inaccurate. No one actually codes for hours straight. A good 90-95% of their time is combing through stackOverFlow posts from 2001

Last night I dreamt that I had done a large project for a customer.
Upon delivery the customer said:
"Now we just need you to deploy it, and then we're gonna sue Facebook."
"Nooo!", I thought to myself. "I used react for the project!"
It was a true licensing nightmare.

Got rid of Facebook for personal reasons...spending more time on devrant and much more happy :) less politics!

My mom: “Honestly, I feel sorry for Zuckerberg. Most people, including me, have nothing to hide and don’t care what happens to my data and how much money they make by selling it. I’m a happy person and have not committed any crime, so I don’t care.”
Seriously I don’t give a shit about that Zuckerberg shitstorm, I’ve never used any Facebook product. But people not being conscious about their RIGHT TO PRIVACY make me fucking lose my mind.

Today I got yelled at for planning to skip work because I had pressed interested on a Facebook event that occurs at the same time as a overtime work event....

When your devRant community is more active than Facebook.
Hehehe

Can you hack Facebook?

When people suddenly realise that facebook added a patent calsue in 1081 days ago...

Welcome to devrant, the community where you can personally ask the devs what the fuck just went wrong AND get an actual answer! @dfox

Facebook, take that idea about only community support, chew on it, plant it, water an care for it a couple of weeks, and shove it waaaay up your butthole!

I know the hate for Facebook is strong here, but I was just approached to work on their eCrimes team... Catching online predators and the like... I'm honestly considering it, given how much evidence is posted. But it requires so much more programming knowledge than I have... I don't know where to start...

I <3 devRant as no one will reply or like my 'geekily' status update on Facebook.

I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.

When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.

Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?

And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.

Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.

Facebook reads even my chats wtf??? I was talking chatting w/a friend of mine about SQL Injections and now I get this...
Also the ad is just cringey af

Just when I deactivated Facebook I found devrant. Hmm no regrets 😁 (thanks to Google play's homepage).

After quit from Facebook and other social medias for 6 months, I think I found my place ! Thanks devRant !

So I found this in my facebook feed.... Don't know what to say

Hey guys
So, why so many rants about Facebook now?
I already knew that Facebook sells our data for a few years.... Didn't anyone else knew before that stupid #deletefacebook campaign?

I guess Facebook has a new Junior Dev :D

I was told that my granny was having trouble signing into Facebook, so I go to help her and this is what happens.

Me: try and open Facebook.
Granny: *looks confused*
Granny: oh I know!
Granny: *opens up Gmail*
Me: *wtf is she doing?*
Granny: *opens an email from Facebook*
Granny: ok, I'm in Facebook.

Not sure whether to cringe or laugh 😅

When you are in the elevator with like 20 people and everyone is looking at a white screen with ads and pictures and a blue tab bar in the top.
And i am the only one with the strange looking purple app and only english with no ads.

Time to stop twitter and facebook.

Today I uninstalled WhatsApp, I mean I haven't had a look at it in over a month and nobody texts me anways.

Writing this makes me realize how sad this is

I don't want to support Facebook or any data mining company, instead I want to support (free) / open source software like Signal

It appears a Facebook dev was a little too eager with the escape character :/

put that as status in a big ass Facebook group
and this is the result :)

devRant is the first time I see so many people announcing to the world how much they like the app. Imagine someone be like "I LOVE Facebook! <3"

Btw, I LOVE devRant! <3

Somewhat unpopular opinion time. I don’t 100% hate Facebook.

I do not support their data collection, but my biggest problem with FB is the users. My connections are inherently idiots because I’m in high school with people who are way too narcissistic and full of drama. I left FB because of the toxicity, and the data protection as a result was a bonus.

I support the original mission of Facebook, to connect people. I just wish it was still about that.

*sees how Facebook kicked me out of my Bitlbee session again*
Me: "Motherf-..."

Still there's some friends of mine on Facebook who apparently got really hooked.. can't for the love of the holy Raven seem to get them away from that shithole.

"Alright then Facebook.. your win. I'll install Messenger and Pages Manager again to at least have your shit be semi-usable again 😑"

*installs said apps*

"Holy shit that battery is draining fast, and I'll have to go out in half an hour"

*plugs phone in fast charger*

*phone while charging keeps on dropping battery level*

FACECUNTS!!!!!! 😤

*powers off phone to conserve battery life and goes off to cook a meal*

*comes back to boot up the phone again and uninstalls those Face-crapps*

*phone immediately starts raising its battery level super fast*

Coincidence? I think not 🤔🤔🤔

When you are in Facebook and double tap a post but it doesn't like it...

You are seeing this ad because Facebook sold your data in order to become billion dollar company.
Haha.

I finally decided to delete my Facebook! The only problem now is that some sites require that I login with Facebook, oh and some people think I'm a serial killer now for some reason :/

Am I the only one here who's never been asked if they can "hack" someone's Facebook/Twitter/MySpace/etc?

devRant - My new Facebook

So my friend was browsing through his facebook.. and this is the gold he found

Facebook messenger is for kids, real men use IRC clients.

I asked for a screenshot to help me assist with the problem.
I got an image inside a Microsoft Word document attached to a Facebook message.

COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTACK THE FUCKING IMAGE INSTEAD

Does anyone else feel Facebook is hell bent on attacking open source in order to gain a monopoly on it?

They are slowing replacing every industry standard tool with over engineered bullshit and it just gets lapped up like it's the best thing ever...EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME

Fuck you Facebook, i will never support you in your crusade against one of the things i hold closest to my heart.

Mark admits to mistakes on Facebook

Am i the only one feeling the need for a facebook darktheme?

I just installed a firewall on my phone and immeasurable Facebook asked to Access the internet.

The thing is, Facebook is disabled through my apps settings anyways.

Apparently Facebook was down today, but I didn't even notice because of devRant

I've been reading a lots of posts about the "Age of No Privacy" and how our most personal information is spread and abused.
Well, obviously those complaining didn't have the displeasure of being born into an Ashkenazi Jewish family.
I had a small medical procedure, and my entire family (spread across 4 continents) became aware of it, created a WhatsApp group to discuss it (with message traffic that would shame any war room), and then my younger cousins asked that we post photos.
Of what?! My fucking colon? How about I stream the whole process live on Facebook, you crazy little shits?!
My point is - we violate the privacy of our close friends and loved ones daily, giving very little thought to what sort of information should or should not be forwarded. I'm not opposing to the battle against great evils, but maybe we should start by not committing small evils daily.

Me: *opens FB in mobile web browser*
FB: You there! Go ans get our great Facebook Lite app! It is faster and...
Me: Nope! *clicks X to dismiss*
FB: Nope! *a wild code appeared*

Oh look, Facebook released yet another thing...

*half arsed celebration*

It hasn't been out 10 minutes but it's already the "BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED EVER"

Am i the only one that sees what they are doing. They are creating their own versions of popular projects to gain a monopoly on open source...what a bunch of cunts.

P.S - OPEN SOURCE SHOULDN'T INCLUDE FUCKING PATENTS.

*cue whiney piss babies*

Never posted on 9Gag, never twittered and almost never posted on Facebook, because I thought it is unnecessary and not interesting. But man, ranting here feels so good with every ++ I get 😁

When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.

Facebook was forcing me to use their messenger app to read my messages on my mobile. I used to get the desktop version and everything was annoying but worked.
Now they blocked this by redirecting when trying to do that.....
....
....
...
..
.
ARE YOU RETARDED, YOU SHITHEADED DICKS?

Fuck Facebook and its "BSD + patents" license. That is not how open source works and should never have to.

January 1 is comming -> It's time for lots of birthday notification in Facebook. :/

Bye bye facebook… 🕺

"Github is the Facebook for developers."
- Johannes Rieken, Microsoft

Lets beat Snapchat!

But, How?

Let's buy WhatsApp, Instagram.
Press cmd+C and cmd+V.
Now our apps have new features 🤑🤑

Go fuck yourself Facebook. New WhatsApp is shit!

The huge icons for everything else aren't exactly great but dammit Facebook there's a UI guide for a reason

I don't understand why people are making a fuss about Facebook.

It's free to use, the amount of users kept increasing (thus the cost of maintenance) yet the company kept getting bigger and bigger. Obviously they're not making all their money off the advertisements on Facebook's own website.

So why are people so surprised that they're "selling" user information?

This is really funny to me. Especially the media joining in saying that it makes all your information available to everybody when they're actually talking about the fact that the majority of Facebook users have their profile set to public and they can be easily found with a simple Google search.

People are so fucking hypocritical it makes me want to puke. If you don't want anybody to know what you posted, just don't fucking post it on a SOCIAL MEDIA in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that facebook is all flowers and love, they clearly didn't handle this situation well. They could have done something about this whole situation when it started instead of waiting for things to blow out of proportion.

However, people are just being assholes now. I highly doubt that they're reading all chats nor are they sending it over, they're probably just sending out some words you mention often so that it is pertinent for advertisers (ex. If you use the word computer next to buy, then maybe that triggers something). I could talk extensively about it but I'm way too lazy, the point is, they most likely aren't sending the nudes you sent to advertisers because that does not provide any benefits.

If you don't like Facebook, don't fucking use it. Delete your account and shut the fuck up. When you screw up in real life, there's no takesies backsies, why the fuck do people think it doesn't apply online? The government gathers up quite a lot of information on you yet I don't see you crying your eyes out.

Why the fuck do you care so much if an advertisement is tailored to specifically? Yeah, you talked about dildos and now you see dildo ads from Amazon, not happy? Just download adblock and shut up. If you're gullible and the moment you see an ad about single women in your area you click on the ad because you want to get laid right now, that's your problem.

Don't want people knowing about some aspects of your private life? Don't share it online.

Stop acting like people are any better at keeping secrets, I'm sure you had some people leak your secrets at least once, yet I doubt you sued them and you brought them to court.

===========

I'm sorry about this, it's just that Facebook is all over the news and I'm getting sick of it.

Also, I hate facebook, I'm not necessarily defending it, I'm more pissed at the medias for blowing this situation out of proportion.

I confess I’m one of those smug people right now who’s never had a Facebook account. Why?

Although I do have privacy concerns, I’m not on Facebook because I truly, genuinely, honestly, legitimately do not give a single flying Monkey’s fuck about what you or anyone else gets up to on your own time.

I don’t care. I have no interest. And I have even less interest in telling others what I’m doing.

I fucking hate people.

Facebook for developers

To register for Facebook's hacker cup.

Fuck you 1:
I need a Facebook account

Fuck you 2:
I need to enter my address and phone number mandatorily. Because they'll send me a t shirt if I win one. It's not like anyone would not win a t shirt or not want one right? So fucking slurp away at all their privacy data any way.

Here's my address for you facebook

No 666, fuck you street, privacypolis, fuckington offville.

my mum just sent me a picture of her and my long time no see cousin from US over WhatsApp. Short time after that, Facebook sent me a friend proposal of a girl from US I don't know - obviously it was my cousins girlfriend because she had a profile picture with him. My cousin doesn't have Facebook.

WTF?!

so what Facebook did must have been some face analysis of the picture my mum sent me over WhatsApp and compared my cousins face with profile pictures from friends of my friends to send me the proposal I got.

this is so fucking scary! I immediately thought of @linuxxx security blog and how my usage of such software affects the privacy of others besides me being transparent as fuck.

Definitely have to rethink my software choices and app/online behaviour!

Just to be clear:
I don't hate Zuckerberg,
I hate Facebook.
Always respect a guy who can put money together like it's a python list compression.

"You're a programmer?!"
"So, I have this app idea and I think it will be revolutionary!! I HAVE GREAT ideas for what it will look like - light blue here and white everywhere else. it's like facebook but different ..."
"It's really going to express my creativity as a person. I've poured my heart and soul into this idea. ITS GREAT RIGHT?!?!"

Happy to add another 50MB

Thanks, Facebook!

The history has witnessed that every civilization has a downfall and I think it's the time for better civilization than Facebook

When the only type of hacking they heard is Facebook hacking... 😑😑

For fuck sake Facebook! do position:fixed for your goddam toolbar on mobile site because you have that fucking infinite scroll!

I accidentally deleted the Facebook chat history I had with someone. Wanting it back, I quickly whipped up a program for my Teensy to download and executes a Java app I wrote. The Java app gets the Facebook cookies, decrypts and uses them to read the chat history which will then be sent to me. Now all I have to do is insert my Teensy via USB and I'll have my chat back! *mission impossible music playing*

So there is an ad for an event that claims that they got 96% likes on Facebook. What do they mean, did 96% of all facebook users worldwide like it? Or did 4% find out how to dislike a page on fb? I am confused

FUCK THIS FACEBOOK ASSHOLES FOR GIVING MY NUMBER TO A CLIENT. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. I DON'T SIGNED UP FOR GIVING OUT MY NUMBER TO EVERYONE .I HOPE YOUR COMPANY LOSE ALL THEIR ASSETS AND MARK ZUCKERBERG GO BANKRUPT .... FUCK YOU ...

I need help hacking a Facebook account? Can you help me?

*Unfriended instantly*

Sure thing Facebook, I'll just get up from my grave and ask you guys to delete my account

For everyone happy to see Facebook getting negative PR, just remember, unless people decide that they are willing to pay a monthly subscription for social media, nothing is going to change long term.

No, I cannot hack your nemesis Facebook account.

Facebook 😂😂😂😂

DevRant vs Facebook:
Devrant : the place where you will find intellectual friends

Facebook: the place where you will find friends who procrastinate

Facebook has 👍
Stackoverflow has 🔺
Medium has ✋
Google Plus has +1's
Devrant has ++

Whooo....! If you are creating a content creation platform for people, then better hurry :P

So I have been using devRant for less than a month now and I have 11 rants, I have been using Facebook for 5 and haven't posted anything in months

I had Highway to hell ringing in my ears while I‘ve read an article about Facebook planning to offer their customers a way to connect their bank account to Facebook...

Seems accurate

Leaving Facebook has been very difficult for me. I didn’t realize how horribly addicted I was. “The twitch” is very real, and it’s hard re-integrating into society. It’s a bit of a shock, how badly my in-person social skills have deteriorated these past few years.

That, and far too many other logins are tied to the big blue monster. I’m still glad to kill the beast, though, one lost user at a time.

I've always thought the "can you hack my facebook accout?" rants a little exaggerated.

Then it happened to me twice.

For fuck's sake, is that damn social media site so ingrained in your puny little brain that you can't ask me something else? Is "what do you program" not the more obvious question?

The more time I get to play with Flutter, the more I am enjoying it. Google mentioned in their Udacity course that the best way to learn is to try and build an app that you use daily. So, I spent my Sunday building a UI clone of Facebook.

Are you also trying Flutter? What are your views?

The new facebook-commercial be like...

I am curious whether facebook IS listening to conversations or not.
Living with my girlfriend in a small appartment, yesterday we were talking about some shitty game we both played around 10 years ago, I was wondering whether the game still exists and googled on my phone (via LTE, not wifi) - yeah the game is still online and still the same shit.
Today she saw facebook sponsored ads to this game on HER facebook.

Today we watched a movie (Valerian and the thousands planets) - and there was this ship which looked similar to Millenium Falcon. I noted that in the midtime. After the movie - guess what - opened the facebook abd there was a sponsored ad to buy Millenium Falcon miniature or lego figure.

How? Randomized events? I do not think so. This was not the first time it happened.

Note: we are not native english speakers, maybe "millenium falcon" could be the only catch fb could achieve?

Whenever Facebook decides to do one of its fancy animations about all the things you've posted pictures of in the past month etc. I'm sure they expected people to be posting pictures of parties, holidays etc.

I only post either pictures of my pets or something I'm working on (running cables in walls, cutting up bits of wood, decorating etc.) So it looks utterly ridiculous when one of those animations plays.

Not even fb account people asks can you hack facebook. WTF🤐.

Error message on Facebook :)

When you let the developers write all the error messages by themselves.

Personally I always ask for help when it comes to writing nice error messages.

Ok this is freaking creepy. I searched for information about login systems on other websites for some time. Not once did I touch Facebook. Then Facebook show me targeted ads when I hoped on 30 minutes later. How the heck does Facebook get that data in the first place? I'm starting to get pissed that my data is just handed out to everyone, even by search engines.

Reading the Facebook PHP SDK documentation today to make a custom feed on a site. The documentation tells you how to do absolutely everything. Which is great in theory, but means you have loads to read to find the small bit you need.

Turns out I didn't need the SDK after all. Used simple curl request instead.

this just happened a few seconds ago and I am just laughing at the pathetic site that is Facebook. xD
4 years ago:
So I was quite a noobie gamer/hacker(sort of) back then and i had a habit of having multiple gmail/fb accounts, just for gaming, like accounts through which i can log in all at once in the same poker room, so 4/5 players in the game are me, or just some multiple accounts for clash of clans for donations.
I had 7-8 accounts back then. one had a name that translated to "may the dead remain in peace "@yahoomail.com . it was linked to fb using same initials. after sometime only this and 2 of my main accs were all i cared about.even today when i feel like playing, i sometimes use those accs.

2 years ago.
My dad is a simple man and was quite naive to modern techs and used to hang around with physical button nokia phones.But we had a business change, my father was now in a partnership in a restaurant where his daily work included a lot of sitting job and and casual working. So he bought a smartphone for some time pass.
He now wanted to download apps and me to teach him.I tried a lot to get him his own acc, but he couldn't remember his login credentials.
so at the end i added one of my own fake ID's(maythedead...) so he could install from playstore, watch vids on youtube and whatever.

The Actual Adventure starts now
Today, 1 hour ago:
I had completely forgot about this incident, since my parents are now quite modern in terms of tech.
But today out of nowhere i recieved an email that someone has JUST CHAINGED MY FB PASSWORD FOR ONE OF MY FAKE ACCS!?!??
what the hell, i know it was just a useless acc and i never even check my fb from any acc these days, but if someone could login into that acc, its not very difficult to track my main accs, id's, etc so i immediately opened this fb security portal and that's where the stupidity starts:

1)To recover your account they FUCKIN ASKS FOR A PHYSICAL ID. yeah, no email, no security question you have to scan your driving license or passport to get back to your account.And where would I get a license for some person named "may the dead remain in peace"? i simply went back.
2) tried another hack that i thought that will work.Closed fb help page, opened fb again , tried to login with my old credentials, it says" old password has been changed,please enter new password", i click forget password and they send an otp. i thought yes i won, because the number and recover mail id was mine only so i received it.
when i added the otp, i was first sent to a password change page (woohoo, i really won! :)) but then it sends me again to the same fuckin physical id verification page.FFFFFFFFFuck

3)I was sad and terrified that i got hacked.But 10 mins later a mail comes ,"Your Facebook password was reset using the email address on Tuesday, April 10, 2018 at 8:24pm (UTC+05:30)."
I tried clicking the links attached, hoping that the password i changed(point<2>) has actually done something to account.NADA, the account still needs a physical license to open:/

4) lost, i just login to my main account and lookup for my lost fake account. the fun part:my account has the display pic of my father?!!?!
So apparently, my father wanted to try facebook, he used the fake account i gave him to create one, fb showed him that this id already has an fb account attached to it and he accidently changed my password.MY FATHER WAS THE HACKER THE WHOLE TIME xD.
but response from fb?" well sir, if you want your virtually shitty account back , you first will have to provide us with all details of your bank transactions or your voter id card, maybe trump will like it"

Fcuk facebook... algorithmic feeds kill. 😠

Okay ..assuming that we're one of them: "the idiots" and we're gonna stop sharing things like that , there are like 2B+ monthly active users on Facebook .. don't worry .. we're just gonna do some simple math .
2B x $1000 = $2000B ...
wait .. what ? But ... nvm ..

I don't know but maybe this could help somebody here too, so I'm gonna share this.

I've discovered this Android app called Island, which essentially sandboxes apps by cloning them in its internal environment.

I've sandboxed that Facebook cancer app in order to keep it fucking frozen when I do not use it (I know, web version is good, but I find the app smoother).

It seems to work like a charm (better than greenify-alone ibernation, actually), but I'm still testing it.

Cheers!

Now my facebook messenger app does it's updates inside the app without my consent to install an apk.
I'm scared

Facebook.
I fucking hate Facebook now.
Adding ads to all their videos, real classy.
Especially when it can show the same ad twice in the same video...
Facebook, I AM OUT.

Me: Boycotting Facebook lately due to shady business practices, is very outspoken about how people shouldn't use Facebook services

Also me: Literally uses React for every web app

... conflicted 🤔

Google/Facebook will you please do some QA on your documentation :/

While you're reading it you get the impression the author is bored out of their mind, they skip important details, when you get to the next code segment there's entire blocks added the docs don't talk about.

Then half way through it picks up pace and you get to this fucking marvellous page that's perfect, Every detail is right there and right on the money, the code samples are concise, commented and perfectly fornatted; like the author finally got to their favourite feature and found themselves weirdly aroused.

Then it goes limp and it's back to boredom.

im watching Zuckerbergs hearing in the eupa right now and i already want to punch Zuckerbergs face for his promisses to improve Facebook that should be standard in the first place.

So i recently started a new Instagram account with new email ID apart from the personal Instagram account which has my friends from Facebook and even from highschool.

The new account was supposed to be a secret, part of an experiment I'm doing with my life choices. And there i only follow people that i look up to. I'm not expecting anyone from real life to follow me their and i prefer if they don't.

Nobody was supposed to know about this new account other than me. But guess what, it seems this account is being advertised to my friends from other account and some of them are following this new account. I'm 99.9% sure they are following just to get a follow back.

I'm feeling shitty about this, but i ain't gonna follow them back. If i need to see their story and photos, I'd get back on my personal account.

Guess I'll have to suck it up and be okay with fact that those "friends" will be seeing my vulnerable side.

So this morning my mum wakes me up at about 7am and she goes "Ollie I'm really scared I think someone has hacked into my phone" so I say " oh shit what happened" then she says "there's a man sending me horrible text messages and threatening me" then I say "wtf let me have a look" so I looked at the phone and it was one of those text message story's on Facebook so this whole time she was just watching a video in full screen while unaware that she was watching a video ffs literally anyone over the age of 40 is a danger to technology looool.

I did a site for a hotel many years ago. They recently had it redone as a Turdpress site, it was terrible, I have just checked today and it redirects to a facebook page. Wondering if this is a trend that I am not aware of. The facebook page, however doesn’t sell the hotel like the website does/can.

Why can't big companies like Facebook include a fucking change log I the update description in App Store?

Facebook and Youtube's new feature... You cannot skip the video ads :)

I've just realised, I don't care if Facebook are sharing my data... I mean, what I get more ads for men with big penises and ripped abs? So what...

Inspecting Facebook source code using React extension & the source has so many things hidden in it.

Eg: Ad breaks!

how did people here learn programming? interested in hearing your journey from discovery of programming to now.

Facebook memes are dying. Really gotta stop soon to be honest.

I fucking hate Facebook cocksuckers... They're the worst I tell you...

And did I mention Facebook pays NGOs to 'advertise' about Facebook as an advertisement platform... Fuckkkk

And I am fucking forced to sit down and clap for these ass kissers, even though I don't have Facebook...

I'm sure you will Facebook... I'm sure...

Does anyone have experience with alternatives like Preact in industry?

Asking because Facebook has mind numbing license clause which means they can infringe any patent they please, because as soon as we sue, they withdraw our license.

Such a lovely way of supporting startups.

Shit! Facebook blocked me temporarily when I automated click on all the "love reaction button" on the live video!

Is it wrong to expect some widespread documentation from a $350 billion company to properly document a key part of their upgrade path for a new SDK version? beware any Android devs upgrading from API 3.X to 4.X on the Facebook SDK.......you'll want FacebookSdk.setLegacyTokenUpgradeSupported(true); before your call to initialize.....

You know, I am astonished at the number of people here that use(d) Facebook. It's even more amazing that these same people are actually surprised that all this shit happened with their data.

I don't have a Facebook account, or Instagram, or Twitter, etc. When this stuff first started coming out, people kept telling me to sign up for accounts.

I refused, telling them that I didn't want to give my private information to a third party that I didn't even know. And not only that, but they can use the private information about you in any way they wish and also sell it to third parties.

I was of course told to take off my tinfoil hat... and it's only now that people are realizing that they are giving away potentially private information to people they don't know?

If I came to your door and asked you everyday to send everything you did that day to me so that I could file it away and use it as I please, you would probably tell me to get the hell off your property.

It just blows me away that if you put that same offer in the format of a website, suddenly people are begging to give you their data.

It's fucking lunacy... 😞

friend: Hey,what's this app, devRant on your phone?
me: well,it's where developers share their views....
friend: oh, it's like facebook for coders?
me: :|

Lunduke hour!
And he is talking about Facebook :-)
And how much he hates it, and ... whatever.

Anyone watches Lunduke?

Yesterday, I came to Facebook Developer Circle Hackathon and the first idea that comes to my head is "Reduce Facebook, Reduce Suck". it's a Chrome Extension to block your Facebook while you working.

Legit questions!
How does facebook secures itself, we never heard news like facebook hacked, user data stolen, recently with ddos, twitter and other websites were affected but not Facebook?
Are they superhumans?

what i found from the recent rants,devRant is like Rehab for facebook addicts! :3

I guess someday Facebook will know so much about you. Even a new user login page will automatically have your birthday after you enter basic details. 😂

Why the *fuck* did Facebook decide to nag users by constantly reminding them of how dumb and miserable they are by showing the old-ass posts from years and years ago?? I don't want to see some random shotpost i posted 5 years ago, i don't give a fuck!!
How the hell uses this anyway? Who on earth cares about his facebook image so much, that sharing this stuff is actually meaningful?

Maybe i'm missing a point, but again my facebook profile is just a wall of memes and vapid shit that i don't care about.
I'm starting to really fucking hate facebook in every way, too bad its the only real way to contact people here in scandinavia...
This country is full of applefags anyway, maybe i should just pack up and move to a country with a more sensible communication platform :D

!rant
I have a Facebook account, but I never post anything! neither I like or comment on any post, also I am following random pages!!!
I bet their privacy spying algo is confused af!!!

Me:- Facebook is bad , its collecting out data.
Friend:- So what let them collect our data.

le Mark Zuckerberg in the corner cashes in 💸

Friend:- As long as I get my free stuff everything's all right.

le Mark Zuckerberg comes to know he is an adopted 👶🏻 and earns more 💸

Good news: You never have to backup the data on your computer and mobile anymore. In case of a crash, you ask the Facebook to send us their copy.

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg broke several days of silence in the face of a raging privacy storm to go on CNN this week to say he was sorry. He also admitted the company had made mistakes; said it had breached the trust of users; and said he regretted not telling Facebookers at the time their information had been misappropriated.
From techcrunch article.

sister comes in my room saying: "hey i cant get on my facebook wall. can you like restart the internet?"

Facebook devs should test too 😂

Did I just see stories on Facebook too now?

What do they want?!

Upvote this rant if you've ever tried to double-tap a Facebook post to "like" it.

WhatsApp and Facebook servers are down in India !
Is it the same in other countries too ?

For the last month WhatsApp doesn't want to open anymore. I guess its time to drop it and tell people to text me again.

Byebye last facebook product I was using.

devRant > Facebook

dfox & trogus > Zuckerberg

Me: Hey Siri delete...
Siri: Facebook account?

Stop giving me friend suggestions every hour you useless piece of Facebook!
I can find my own friends.

There is no option to stop receiving these notifications!!

Wtf....Facebook just disabled my account and asked to confirm my identity by uploading a photo. What might be the problem?

Ran speedtest on my phone and got about 20mbps dl/ul speed. Opened facebook app and pictures are not even loading. Wut.

Need confirmation:
A friend message me (this) saying that “it came from Mark Zuckerberg himself and facebook will...” blah blah and then another friend asked me if this is for real.
Let me know your thoughts on this, because I’m not really sure if I should resend it as well

My Facebook has been returned to normal.... Ahhhh.

Oh this Facebook post is so funny.. 😂😂 .. wait... oh this is LinkedIn..

LinkedIn these days.

*Facebook freezes*
please don't
*Phone shuts off*
*Gets mad at phone, then at self for installing the rom*

I am sick and tired of Facebook/Messenger taking up valuable space on my phone!!! 😡

Anyone else who keeps their social media clean? Like deleting your post/comment/like you made a month ago? I wonder where all this crap content on social media goes especially those posts on facebook groups. I like a clean history and I'm a little paranoid which helps. I'm also using a dummy fb account to join groups cause there's a shit ton of them and I don't want to contaminate my real account.