My team: gets fired

8 other colleagues: here’s our notice, we leavin

Love it, they’re left with 4 devs so good luck finding people who know how to work in your 20 year old legacy that every app in ur company is built on lul

FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM!

JUST CAME TO REALISE THAT AN OLD CLASSMATE DURING UNIVERSITY STOLE 2 OF MY PROJECTS AND PUBLISHED 2 PAPERS UNDER HIS NAME.

HE EVEN ADDED THEM IN HIS CV.

SUCH PEOPLE SHOULD DIE.

Recently, at 2am, he even called me and asked for some doubts on other topic, I helped him too. Turns out such he was such a cheap person.
Let him call me next time...

"I did a windows update on my iPhone, and now Google maps won't work" (my mom's client, looking at Apple Maps)

I fucking hate people who think Eclipse is the only IDE out there for Java development, stop being so conservative and get out of the comfortable old rusty editor..!

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

I thought I was a hardcore geek until I came on here.

Super chill enviroment tho

Programmers are some of the nicest people you will meet.

Except the 12 year old hackers.

Friend : "I can't take it when people don't delete old downloaded shortcuts from their desktop"
Me as a programmer:

Client asks for redesign to look more like XYZ site.

I deliver a redesign to look more like XYZ site.

Client wants the site to look more like his old site. But different. Gives extensive instructions on how to design his website to his liking.

At some point, I think I'll be owing him money for his design/dev services, not the other way around.

What is it with these people?

What is the fascination people-- especially old people --have with desktop icons?

Mam: Hey can I ask you a question about Facebook?

Me: (Christ give me strength) ... sure whats up?

Mam: You know when you get a notification and you click on it and see what someone uploaded?

Me: ... you are not on Facebook, you can't be getting notifications

Mam: well I do. Is it possible to...

Me: No hang on a second, it is 110% not possible for this to happen. Something else is going on that you think is a notification.

Mam: You know when you are on, and you see a message like "12 new notifications"

Me: on? on what? this is happening on your phone is it? Can I see?

Mam: No its on my laptop at home.

Me: ... you have an old laptop with an old windows, you can't get notifications on it.

Mam: OH FOR GOD SAKE! ... you know when you are in your emails and it says "12 new notifications"?

Me: ... right so we are talking about EMAILS about unread notifications and not getting notifications on your phone. So you have an old account then that you don't use?

Mam: Yeah I don't know the password to it, haven't logged in, in years.

Me: of course

Mam: Right anyway. When I get one and click on it, lets say its about you, can you see me reading your notifications?

Me: ..... you can't not read my notifications.

Mam: uh, can you see me reading your emails then smart arse?

Me: ... can't do that either.

Mam: So what the hell am I doing then?

Me: You are reading a post someone uploaded, which you got alerted to from an email.

Mam: Right, can you tell when I've read your POST then?!?!?!

Me: no

Mam: was that so hard?

Me: ... yep

Seven months ago:
===============
Project Manager: - "Guys, we need to make this brand new ProjectX, here are the specs. What do you think?"

Bored Old Lead: - "I was going to resign this week but you've convinced me, this is a challenge, I never worked with this stack, I'm staying! I'll gladly play with this framework I never used before, it seems to work with this libA I can use here and this libB that I can use here! Such fun!"

Project Manager: - "Awesome! I'm counting on you!"

Six months ago:
====================
Cprn: - "So this part you asked me to implement is tons of work due to the way you're using libA. I really don't think we need it here. We could use a more common approach."

Bored Old Lead: - "No, I already rewrote parts of libB to work with libA, we're keeping it. Just do what's needed."

Cprn: - "Really? Oh, I see. It solves this one issue I'm having at least. Did you push the changes upstream?"

Bored Old Lead: - "No, nobody uses it like that, people don't need it."

Cprn: - "Wait... What? Then why did you even *think* about using those two libs together? It makes no sense."

Bored Old Lead: - "Come on, it's a challenge! Read it! Understand it! It'll make you a better coder!"

Four months ago:
==============
Cprn: - "That version of the framework you used is loosing support next month. We really should update."

Bored Old Lead: - "Yeah, we can't. I changed some core framework mechanics and the patches won't work with the new version. I'd have to rewrite these."

Cprn: - "Please do?"

Bored Old Lead: - "Nah, it's a waste of time! We're not updating!"

Three months ago:
===============
Bored Old Lead: - "The code you committed doesn't pass the tests."

Cprn: - "I just run it on my working copy and everything passes."

Bored Old Lead: - "Doesn't work on mine."

Cprn: - "Let me take a look... Ah! Here you go! You've misused these two options in the framework config for your dev environment."

Bored Old Lead: - "No, I had to hack them like that to work with libB."

Cprn: - "But the new framework version already brings everything we need from libB. We could just update and drop it."

Bored Old Lead: - "No! Can't update, remember?"

Last Friday:
=========
Bored Old Lead: - "You need to rewrite these tests. They work really slow. Two hours to pass all."

Cprn: - "What..? How come? I just run them on revision from this morning and all passed in a minute."

Bored Old Lead: - "Pull the changes and try again. I changed few input dataset objects and then copied results from error messages to assertions to make the tests pass and now it takes two hours. I've narrowed it to those weird tests here."

Cprn: - "Yeah, all of those use ORM. Maybe it's something with the model?"

Bored Old Lead: - "No, all is fine with the model. I was just there rewriting the way framework maps data types to accommodate for my new type that's really just an enum but I made it into a special custom object that needs special custom handling in the ORM. I haven't noticed any issues."

Cprn: - "What!? This makes *zero* sense! You're rewriting vendor code and expect everything to just work!? You're using libs that aren't designed to work together in production code because you wanted a challenge!?? And when everything blows up you're blaming my test code that you're feeding with incorrect dataset!??? See you on Monday, I'm going home! *door slam*"

Today:
=====
Project Manager: - "Cprn, Bored Old Lead left on Friday. He said he can't work with you. You're responsible for Project X now."

I'll get to my four words in a sec, but let me set the background first.

This morning, at breakfast, I fired up my trusty laptop only to get a fan failure warning.

Finally, after the three year old is asleep tonight, I'm able to start dismantling the case to get to the fan. I'm hoping it just needs cleaned out.

Hard drive, memory, and keyboard spread out over the kitchen table. I'm not even halfway done.

Guess what? Now I'm one of the lucky 3500 people to have a power outage at 9 pm. Estimated restore time: 2 am.

Sigh.

"All those tiny screws"

And a three year old in the house...

Mainly a story with some ranting sprinkled on top :)

My grandma used to refuse to turn her PC off because ONE SINGLE WINDOWS 8.1 UPDATE like 2 years ago made it so that Windows would turn the PC on by itself, nevermind it was fixed in the next update, she would simply refuse to try to turn the PC off from that point on... I never looked at the uptime but the PC was sitting on a carpet and all the fans were struggling to keep spinning, so much dust! When I asked her why it's so dusty all around the PC (the table that the PC was under was covered in a really thick layer of dust) she replied that the chambermaid comes every Wednesday to clean up the whole flat so she has no idea. I set up a camera that was recording the whole room so I could see what was going on... sure enough the chambermaid avoided anything that looked like it could have some ICs in it with a distance of at least 2 meters... When I showed the video to my grandma she was like: Yes, she is scared of electronics...
Seriously fuck me... Allright, I cleaned the whole table, carpet and the inside of PC, everything ran so quietly that I wasn't sure if I plugged the fans in.
Anyway after this I had to record the PC one whole night so I could prove to my grandma that it would not turn on by itself and she can in fact turn it off.
Fuck me... what a bad week that was...

PS: Yes, my stories do not have a point :)

I hate trying to support old browsers.
If we keep supporting old sh*t, people will never stop using it.

So, continuing the story, in reverse order, on the warship and its domain setup...
One day, the CO told me that we needed to set up a proper "network". Until now, the "network" was just an old Telcom switch, and an online HDD. No DHCP, no nothing. The computers dropped to the default 169.254.0.0/16 link local block of addresses, the HDD was open to all, cute stuff. I do some research and present to him a few options. To start things off, and to show them that a proper setup is better and more functional, I set up a linux server on one old PC.
The CO is reluctant to approve of the money needed (as I have written before, budget constraints in the military is the stuff of nightmares, people there expect proper setups with two toothpicks and a rubber band). So, I employ the very principles I learned from the holy book Bastard Operator From Hell: terrorizing with intimidating-looking things. I show him the linux server, green letters over black font, ngrep -x running (it spooks many people to be shown that). After some techno-babble I got approval for a proper rack server and new PCs. Then came the hard part: convincing him to ditch the old Telcom switch in favour of a new CISCO Catalyst one.
Three hours of non-stop barrage. Long papers of NATO specifications on security standards. Subliminal threats on security compromises. God, I never knew I would have to stoop so low. How little did I know that after that...
Came the horrors of user support.
Moral of the story: an old greek saying says "even a saint needs terrorizing". Keep that in mind.

I'm old school. These are the only emojis I use.

:)
:(
:\

And I don't select them I use text...Sometimes I throw in a Kirby flicking people off for good measure.

<('.')^

Old people to new people -
"Welcome to devRant"
"Enjoy your stay"
🤔
I think, do some people plan to be a guest and leave devRant after sometime?

I'm here to stay.

Maybe, it should be
"Welcome to devRant, now you're stuck here..." 😈

Some people will hate me for bringing up this old meme but.....

...

...

What does @dfox say?

Multiple friens asked if I could help someone with her "laptop".

Me: so I hear that you have problems with your laptop?
She: oh yea let me get my laptop.
A minute later she comes back with an iPad mini.
She: I cant get this app to work!

How can they all call that a laptop! *facepalm*

All these people talking about learning to code at school makes me feel old. There wasn't even an option to learn programming when I was at school. Had to teach myself!

FUCK WORDPRESS

FUCKING FUCK THIS GODFORSAKEN CMS

FUCK THE GUY WHO USED PLUGINS WHO BREAK WHEN I TRY TO UPGRADE FROM PHP 5 TO PHP 7

FUCK THE THEME BUILDER WHICH WON'T WORK UNLESS I SWITCH TO PHP 7

FUCK THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE WHICH DEPENDS ON A PHP VERSION THAT HAS REACHED END OF LIFE ONE FUCKING YEAR AGO

FUCK THE OLD PEOPLE THAT ADMINISTER IT, AND DON'T WANT TO LEARN HOW TO USE NEW PLUGINS AND KEEP USING THE OLD, BROKEN AND UN-MAINTAINABLE ONES

special mention: fuck this one fucking plugin who claims to implement paypal when it doesn't actually work, and the 2 fucking thousand of JQuery lines I have to go through to fix it

!dev

Being an introvert 17-year-old is tough at times :/

Have yet to find someone who shares my interests and has the will to get to truly know me.

Most people just barely scratch the surface and judge for what they see, but after all, I cannot expect any sort of deep relationship to take place with any of my peers.

It's hilarious how people complain about exiting Vim being too hard and then being proud of themselves.

Guys.. Not being able to exit a 30 year old text editor doesn't paint the best picture about your intelligence.

Just found an EPROM (Erasable Programmable ROM) from my dad's old stuff.
Yeah, there's a window for UV light, if you wish to erase your existing code/data!

Thought you people can relate.....

Storytime!

>purchased Sublime Text a few years ago
>used it a bit, mostly on Ubuntu, but eventually fell away
>mostly because notepad++ or just not coding
2017.apng
A wild DevRant has appeared!
>see people using Sublime Text
>remember the good old days(tm)
>download Sublime Text
>search email for key
missing-key.html
>work up courage to send email to Sublime Text team
theyRespond.jar
>turns out I was looking in the wrong email address
>still sent me my old key to the email address I sent the email from
i-am-ok-with-this.svg

10/10 would purchase Sublime Text code again

That feeling when people don't believe that you, an 18 year old IT student. Have developed a linux os but they have no problem with that a 7 year old developed a game.

People and social media are like ants and old food.

I fucking hate ants and I hate old food.

Me : I'm a software developer.
Neighbor : Hey could you fix my PC it's not starting.
Me : *goes*
*Finds monitor cable disconnected*

*Facepalm level==69*

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo

Fucking sharepoint
I’m fuckin done, editing this website layout is like teaching a kid with ie brain, worse is I need to use a fuckin sharepoint designer 2013 and I’m working on online sharepoint so everytime I saved something it’s delayed and my screen acts like having a motherfuckin seizure when I accidentally scrolled it. Not to mention grid doesn’t work here so I need to lay it out the fuckin old way. Oh the client also wants a fancy navbar so I literally hide the sharepoint desinger navbar and using js create my own navbar inside the container. Fuck you for creating this shit and actually sell it to people, it’s like working on a fucking old tech

"Your quote is too high, I will contact the old developer, as this would be quite easy for him!"

Alright, whatever - then 6ish months pass and suddenly the old developer said the same and since the other shit bartender doesn't want to do it "cheaper" he'd want it to have done properly, truly thinking of adding a tax to people that try to play games like that.

Fuck old farts trying to enslave us by censoring internet,
fuck socialism,
fuck globalization,
fuck cloud services,
fuck city surveillance,
fuck internet surveillance,
fuck RFID that enslaved animals,
fuck IoT constantly looking at our life,
fuck artificial intelligence.
It’s becoming fucking nightmare.
Time to make tools to fight against technology and people that intrude our life with this shit.
Where the fuck is John Connor ?

I just spent 30 minutes on the phone with my grandmother trying to help her sign in to her chrome book just to have her tell me she was punching her email into the password field...

So my in-laws got a new computer 😑
Yup you know where this is going. Ok so after I transferred all of their data set them all up etc.
They wanted to use "word" and could I set it up for free for them. I said no Microsoft office is not free you lost your license and disk and your old computer is trashed so the better choice would be Google services . So I explained the value of using Google drive, docs,sheets etc.. today and told them how much better it is everything would be on their Google drive so if I got hit by a bus they could get a new computer again and still have access to their data etc... So they said great and so I did.

Two weeks later... Can you set up word for us on our computer. Me annoyed at this point " sure no problem"

I made a shortcut on their desktop to Google docs. Them: oh boy this is great see John all you have to do is click on google docs to go to word! Thanks so much!

🤫🤓

Well, that's one for the bikeshed. Jonny Lee Miller would be proud.

This is what my roommate got handed to him at a lecture. Completely written in Comic Sans, everything is in fucking comic sans and it is not a joke! 🤣

Based on how many people are violently upset at Apple for removing a 60 year old piece of technology from their phones I'm guessing this is the ideal types of ports for some people. Because why try something new when you can stick to legacy technology?

No grandpa, I don't scam people online. I am a web developer - I earn my living online, building web apps, plugins, etc. (and stuff that you won't really grasp). And again, stop telling people that I'm lazy - I don't watch movies on my computer from 8AM-5PM. Lovely grandma, please don't believe him.

!rant

I'm so so happy to have joined devRant: it gave me lots of motivation to work on my personal projects. In the last two days I worked more on an old dream/project than I did in the last year. TWO. DAYS.

Don't know for how long this motivation will last, but - for now - thank you so much, people :')

For being a community based around developers, the amount of people managing to fuck up Windows and then blaming the OS while both my 9 year old brother and the old next door lady keeps theirs running perfectly fine will always be a mystery to me. If you are a developer stop making excuses of how a operating system works and get clever enough to work with it instead of against it. I've been using and developing on Windows for the past 7 years and to be frank rarely do I ever encounter the shit some people post here, mind boggling I would even say pebcak. And just to be clear, I'm not a fanatic, Linux is a beautiful OS.

There I had to get that off my chest, have a nice day.

when you spend 3 years at University studying Software Engineering, and your step dad asks you, " so what is it you that actually do?"... 😐

I'm soon graduating from a tech/IT school which recently specialized in cybersecurity.
Today when I changed my password on their website, it displayed the old one in clear text.
God damn it people, THIS is the reason why our school's reputation has been slowly but steadily going down.

Got noticed by the creator, the first time after sneaking around here for 3 years.
*feels awesome*

Would people use a feature where they could swipe on a rant they've seen. This way newer stuff could be let through but old stuff wouldn't keep popping up every time you reopen devrant.

I want to leave my job because it only uses old technologies but when I look for jobs they're looking for people with experience on new technologies. Catch-22.

Wanted to search something in my old code. Understood why people use comments.. :/

As a 16 year old, the hardest problem I've always encountered is trying to explain to people that coding as actually more complex than just typing random words.

Earlier this day i reached 1000++. Nice, isn't it?
Suddenly an idea comes to my mind.
Why not make a rant and thank everybody? And now comes the important part:

Why not make up a funny story telling how i met @dfox and welcomed @linuxxx and @alice on devRant?

Because somehow the story isn't funny at all because nobody got that it was a joke...

Went great...

People think i'm really old (19 btw.)
People think I know @dfox personally
@linuxxx can't even remember how I never welcomed him

So... sry... I guess? But thanks for the really nice comments!

Today,

My "big boss" call me because I take too much time to develop a website. She thinks all I need to do is drag n drop. Why the f*ck do you need to hire me if it's only drag n drop you "super smart ass licker"? Man, this old people need some update about technology.

Btw, the "drag n drop" idea came from Dreamweaver YouTube tutorial.

When you watch the new Jason Bourne and see people from CIA hacking a laptop from an Old cellular with a "shell code", or other people saying "use SQL to hack the database"

Don't you hate it when you come across a old internet argument but one of the people deleted all of their posts so now you just see a bunch of out of context replies.

this.category != Tech Rant

Often when I walk down a street or take a suburban train, the sight of much less fortunate people being happy with the little things that we don't even bother like recently a old man bought a few vegetables for 10INR (17 cents) and he looked so happy.

At the other end I see people who have everything given to them and yet lack the slightest of satisfaction.

Homosapiens are sure a weird creature.

Hi DevRant, the last five years I've been repairing old computers for people who should really upgrade but rather stick to their beloved IE8. I'm sure we'll be friends!

start teaching people how and why to delete code instead of teaching them only how to write code

compare functional and object oriented languages as well as high level and low level languages and explain what are advantages of using certain language without going into the syntax

let people do mistakes and don’t punish people for making them but let them explain what happened, if they know what was the cause of mistake it is worth ten times than doing things correctly

mix teams per period of time instead of per project

make showcases how to modify ugly code to pretty one and what are the steps and what patterns people should look after

teach by not showing old stuff but showing where old stuff exists in modern things and why it’s important there and what’s the purpose of doing things certain way instead of flat theory based on ancient examples

I changed my name on here. When i go back, looking at old rants of mine, people are mentioning "some dude" who doesnt exist anymore.

If only hiding from the government was that easy

When people ask my age, btw feels old 😂

When did it become a trend to give people 4 hour technical tests? As a 32 year old man who commutes to work (1.5-2hrs each way) where do they possibly think I'll ever get that amount of time to complete a "test".

What's wrong with a github link and a face to face chat? A decorated linked in with recommendations?

Why can no one have the confidence to hire a dev?

Stop calling people by their old occupation titles. .
Please address them by using their new titles accordingly
and they will like it their job more.

OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist*

OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission engineer*

OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Controller*

OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*

OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*

OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*

OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*

OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Director*

OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*

OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Director*

OLD: *Prostitute*
NEW: *Practical Sexual Relations Officer*

OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Officer*

OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*

OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestics Managing Director*

OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Chemist*

OLD: *Gossip*
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Director*

Which one got you more?

When people ask you to speed up their old crappy device, whether it's a phone, laptop or tablet (even though I'm a web developer), all I say is:

"Buy a new one, that isn't cheap and nasty"

Getting comfortable in one place for too long and stagnating. It can be easy to automate your job until you can just milk it, but sit still too long and your skills will be irrelevant.

People talk about ageism in development... don't let your mind get old and you'll always have job security.

I lost one of my idols, there are few people I have that much respect for. I literally can not think of anyone else infact.

Ive just been taking a second.🙁 I mean you live your life thinking there's time or that you can wait to do things , like I'll just do that one thing a little later. But it's not true. The reality is there's so little time.

There are few truly great people. It's going to take me a little while to get over it properly.

But when I do I hope I don't switch back into old patterns.

I want to be just like him, his work was amazing. He worked all the time not because of fame or money but because he just wanted to make cool shit for people to enjoy. Because he enjoyed it himself and he liked seeing people amazed and happy due to his work.

The best people are the types of people who bring a smile to your face by just being who they are.

It was enough to know he was out there doing his thing being that incredible, it never occured to me he could just be gone. The world needs more people like him especially now with everything so fucked up. He died far to young. 33 isn't old it's not even middle aged

All I want is to be like him, I hope I will be one day 😞 and I'm going to start trying right now.

And I will try harder.

I am stranded in the middle of highway because my car engine failed. My 3000$ 10 year old garbage car is full of problems. My life keeps sinking lower and lower each day in every possible way. My parents are so broke that they have to borrow money for food and gas from me, who is also broke (i have about 1500$ left to my name which is over 150,000 (6 figures) in my currency). I sank into the new low. How am i going to buy food and bring groceries to home without a transport such as car? My life has became harder

People who have a car (any car), people who have a job, and people who can afford to go to the gym aside from any other optional life activity -- have no idea how lucky life they are living

I now have to abandon programming because $3.75/hour salary is not going to help my situation right now. I have to focus only on getting money and nothing else. People with money have no idea how happy and lucky they are...

sometimes we try to make things better and realize people just want the same old non functional bloated shit...

Google: buys Android
Makes tons of $ from Ads
Meanwhile 7 year old bugs
Are still not fixed

A bug reported in 2012: recently created files are not visible when using MTP protocol.

Guess what? I still have this bug on my 2017 phone, like many other people.
Probably has something to do with file cache.

Because obviously 7 years is not enough to fix a stupid bug. Especially when Google is busy implementing all the other features nobody asked for except marketing department

today i had to use an old resistive touch monitor.
what the hell how people can use that thing?
i had to literally punch it with my finger to get a click recognized

my 8 month old on her stroller at the grocery:
*cries in screaming*
*is scared of unrecognized faces*
every single old person we pass by:
let's grinstare this thing right on its fucking face.
baby: *cries harder*
old fuck: uh oh, time to go

I don’t like to judge people based on what languages they like (because I like all of them). But I can’t deny the pattern anymore.

Smart people know and enjoy smart languages: Smalltalk, OCaml, Clojure, Lisp, Haskell, etc. They may use JavaScript or PHP to make money, but ask them to code in their smart language and they’ll be more efficient. Getting old, some of those people say “screw it” and find a Haskell job.

You, my friend, are not one of those people. You are VSCode-dwelling goblin who thinks lambda calculus has something to do with JS arrow function notation, is scared of reduce() and not even good at the single fucking language they know.

Insta coders and that mechanical keyboard collector dorks are not “superstars” you got to be like.

I tried Tiktok.
Immediately my fyp appears to be 18 year old girls doing cringe-worthy miming and people half my age telling me how I can earn over $3k per month using Canva.

...aaaaand...delete.

Today I tried medication (concerta 36mg) for my ADD for the first time in my life (im 26 years old).

Result is fuck yeah! I feel like a human being whos able to focus on shit. Im so jealous of normal people having a decent attention span and decent working memory.

Hotest bug: a server in Vietnam kept going offline then popping back a few seconds later. While logged on I couldn't find anything wrong, so eventually I decided to go check on it. It turns out the aircon in the server room situated right above the server has started leaking, so the ever-helpful ops people onsite has wrapped the whole rack in plastic, covering all vents. Surprisingly hard to kill, old HP servers...

Sort of a meeting, sort of an informal interview, I've dialled in from the home office and my audio setup includes a standalone mic and some noise cancelling headphones. It's going really really well when all of a sudden I see something in the preview window of my webcam feed.
Behind me, looking very concerned and confused is my 73 year old Nanna who'd decided to pop in and see me as she was passing by.
It's common for me to keep the front door locked, but my Nanna has an emergency key and knows I don't always hear a knock at the door, so let herself in.
So she's now in the house, calling out to me and she can hear me talking, so follows the sound of my voice thinking maybe I'm on the phone. Walks right into the office, where the door is behind me, eventually puts two and two together to work out that I can't hear her and finally sees herself on my monitor. She panics and goes to hide in the corner of my office, almost underneath my workbench because she's old and doesn't know where she would or wouldn't be visible from.
The rest of the meeting went really well, but overran by at least half an hour. Meanwhile I can see my poor Nanna hiding away in my peripheral vision.

Many people were hired to work on new product, but no one have told them that for one or two quarters they will have to maintain 20 years old project. I was ranting about this, but in the end accepted my fate, wiped tears with money and moved on. However one of devs took another path. When he was asked to work with .aspx and jquery 1.X instead of react, he just said : "Not going to happen" and left the building.

I used to work IT in an entertainment startup, and now I’m an iOS dev at a big entertainment company. Several people from my old company have been reaching out to eagerly tell me about their new app idea I just have to hear, asking me to help code their app— and have even hinted at me quitting my nice safe job to join their great new startup that doesn’t even exist yet.

I know this must happen to app devs all the time. What do you say?

How do you deal with telling these nice people who just don’t understand it doesn’t work that way, without crushing their dream? I have a coffee meeting planned to tell one of them “You should learn to code so you can make a proof of concept,” but I fear that won’t be received well.

What’s the standard protocol for telling people you won’t be able to code their magic app idea?

Baby sister just told me to "google it."

When I request that a client sends me the images they would like on their website. I do not expect 25 Emails each with one fucking image.

New office saga continues

We had 2 days on induction and these guys hired a 19 year old intern for the HR department.

Yes, the worst possible combination.

In last two days she made our life hell. Insufferable human being.

How can a person be so annoying?!

It was so tempting to roast her, but then I had to control my instincts so as to not get a warning during my first two days.

Not saying that everyone is bad and there surely exist great people, but wide majority of Gen Z makes me go nuts and that is all what is wrong with corporate world, old wine and fresh blood overlapping.

We are headed towards self destruction, buckle up your seat belts.

My very first rant here was about the mess of ticket submission and ticket tracking applications we use, and about how we were moving to a single unified system some day.

Well, that day is today. And, predictably, it went horribly wrong.

So the way it's supposed to work is people login to the portal, search for what they want to request, then fill in details and submit. It creates a request ticket assigned to the appropriate team. (The old way involved a bunch of nonsense that you can see in my first rant).

The thing is, I found out about this today, when I got a company-wide email saying the new system was live as of this morning. None of us knew it would happen today. Not that I could've foreseen any issues just by getting the announcement early, but still, usually people find out about these things beforehand.

So, ecstatic to finally be rid of the old ticket tracking system, I log into the new system and look for our request form, which is, of course, not there. I check the old system and see that they combined every single "general request" into a single request where you pick which team the request goes to.

So I finally find the right request, pick the right department from the drop-down, and see that the request looks much better than it did on the old system. Out of curiosity, I look at the list of people who are part of that department.

I am not on the list.

My ENTIRE TEAM is not on the list.

Because they migrated the team data to the new system a year ago, when the issue tracking/reporting portion of it went live. My current team was hired approximately six months after that and apparently updating the team data in the new system isn't part of our Onboarding process yet.

So... Bright side is I guess I will have a lot of free time soon since nobody can submit new project work to my team?

tl;dr: they took a great software product and implemented it so poorly that our team can't use it.

I'm a 16 yrs old student, learning to be a software developer. I have successes, but I can't share with anyone. My parents don't understand what am I doing, my classmates neither. Literally nobody. Maybe 1 or 2 people. Can I share with you, dear devRant community? Or I shouldn't share, 'couse it's not a rant?

Not quite a rant... more of a question.

So, I'm almost 40 years old. I have a lot of work experience in varying fields, much of it in low-level management.

Truth is I've ALWAYS wanted to be a programmer.

I recently got into a somewhat competitive training program
where I'm learning to write Java, and will subsequently learn Android development. It's fairly in-depth, so it will take 10 moths to complete. My ultimate goal it's to work as a mobile dev at a great company, making products people love. Ambitious, I know.

My question is: Am I a fool for attempting to get into this field at this age? I'm starting to panic a little. I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time, or if 40 is too old to be the "newbie".

Thoughts?

so there was a tik tok (yes i'm a 17 year old american, so i use tik tok) about making an iphone app: "how to make an iphone app, step one open your mac and download xcode..."

i commented, "if you're not rich and can't afford a mac, learn flutter..." and a bunch of people go "just get a job it's only like $1k"

there's so many rich people out there who just don't understand the concept of debt, how there's not enough jobs, there's so many problems.

there's nothing even political about it. when the amount of unemployed people is more than the amount of job openings, not everyone can have a job, that's just a fact. how even if you have a job, you might be spending most of your money paying off student loans.

some people are just so stupid. they start off in a position where their parents have loads of money that gets them into great schools and internships and programs and they still want to claim it was "hard work" that got them there.

Sometimes I see my old high school, or a library in my town. And I think of making a workshop to get the next generation excited about CS.

Then I remember I hate people.

Been working in Linux server for a while, doing devOps and basic task automation with bash.

Today I have to write some .bat task for backup and moving files in Windows first time against .bat . What the hell was this people thinking when they made the .bat sintax is just awful. I understand is old but why. And tried also powershell still crap.

Today I celebrate nice round birthday 100000b. There will not be another one like this for 32 years.

Got fired today due to one big cunt who just joined to sabotage all junior devs because his older than all of us, im dissapointed at how arrogant some of you old devs are, the good old days development houses used to be fun and young, i respect all of you with great heart but we are not trying to compete with you if we know knew tech better than you, times have changed, if you are still dumb about bootstrap dont hate on anyone but yourself. Grow deFaQuPndStopHating

One of the few good things dell ever made are it's monitors.

They must be good. People never fucking throw them away. Back when I did repairs I came across *so* many customers who just stocked monitors away like squirrels preparing for the god damn ice age. Three dell monitors here. Five there. Every where a monitor. Old McDonald had dell farm, E, I, E, I, O.

The backend people at my old company had 4 files which they all committed code to (they were about 10 people). The only reason they didn't use a single file, according to the lead developer, was that Eclipse could only handle 12k lines per file (or something like that).

The most common mistake people do is trying to learn some complex cutting-edge technology from scratch. Cutting-edge technology is just combining old technology in new ways to solve new problems. To learn it, first learn existing technology. Existing technology is here to stay, it's well-explained, and it's usually much simpler to understand. Then the rest will just click.

People have been making fun of me for not having WhatsApp. They say that I am 'behind in technology', 'old fashioned' and that I don't know anything about computers and modern technology because I don't use WhatsApp.

They even kinda make fun of my family. One other family who made fun of us owns both Google Home and Amazon Echo.

What the heck is even going on anymore?

Anyway I am gonna put lights on a fez and wear it to school on monday.

*sips tea*

> Old job does away with working from home
> Half the department of ~100 quits within 3 weeks

It's almost as if IT people want to work from home 🤔🤔🤔

My biggest fear about publishing open source code is people looking at it and having the same reaction a have when I get back at my old code.

I can vaguely remember the 4 year old me turning the computer on while my cousin starts a dos shell to play Dangerous Dave.

5 year old me finds wolfenstien installed on my windows 95 , doom a few years later , quake after that .. one masterpiece after another.

Little did I know that software can make memories.

I grew up with software made by these legends and nothing excites me more than the dream of one day being in a team just like theirs with the goal of having fun and spreading it.

Carmack and Romero .. the people who architected fun from code.

When I was 14 years old my mom wouldn't buy me a game which was for sixteen years old people. At this point I didn't know how hard programming actually is so I decided to make the game by myself. And now I'm sixteen and in love with programming. (by the way started with C++)

Woke up early, took my mom out for breakfast. It has been more than an hour, we have talked for about 15 minutes the rest of the time she has been on her phone. Was giving smartphones to boomers a mistake? Any boomer devs here that have fallen to the same addiction?

These old people and their damn mobile devices! Get off my lawn!

I really wish people would stop trying to make every day things sounds so fucking special, every apple influencer will call the iPhone X screen an 'organic LED display'... Is just a fucking OLED display, saying organic doesn't make it different...

It's super old technology now, nothing fancy about it -,-

I sometimes wonder how people upvoted at my 2+ months old rant........

How??????

My grandma thinks “The Ethernet” is a place

So somehow paid version of my app is available somewhere for free (old version of the app though). People are downloading it, and will obviously see the invalid license message. There is an option in that case to mail the developer just in case there was something wrong with the license checking, and guess what? Those people are mailing to me about invalid license. 😂😂😂😂

This was last year. "Guys, guys, we need to convert everything to ES6." Our mainly users were elderly people with old devices. So we did. Many resigned shortly.

Developers are supposed to be eager to try new stuff, however most devs on devRant prefer to hate on Edge and hate who use it.

I'm not here to defend Microsoft but I bet 95% of the people that hate on Edge haven't tried the latest version.

It's really easy on weaker hardware and on battery life. Try using an old ultrabook (2nd gen i5) as I did for some time while using Chrome or Firefox as your main browser!

Sometimes I wonder how software development in (bigger) teams worked in the 90s.

Take the first Pokémon games for example. It was the mid-90s and the final product would be Assembler code that goes onto a cartridge with limited space.

I believe version control systems didn't really exist back then (Git & Mercurial: 2005, SVN: 2004). So probably people took backups of the chunks of code they worked on, copied around a stitched-together code, threw everything together at the end of the day, etc. etc. ...

Does anyone here know if there is some kind of documentary about that topic or did anyone here experience that first-hand?

It would be really interesting to see how that stuff worked back then 😊

Helping grandma with her computer, feeling good about myself, proud of her for learning to use a computer atage 84 !

Oh wait. You use internet explorer? You hate chrome? How can you hate chrome you know nothing about comput.....

Ah shit. Sorry grandma.. just.. use chrome

You know, I kinda wished that my school had really old and crappy PCs with a few KBs of ram... that way people would learn not to use an integer for the age

I must be getting old. I seem to be the only one confused about 20,000 people successfully paying $60 to buy a digital 3d object from star wars last night. Disney made over a million in 4 seconds.
NFT's powered through blockchains. Feels like a pyramid scheme for the 21st Century. Everyone needs to calm down.

My Grandma: Go with your aunt to help her buy a refrigerator.
Me: But I don't know anything about refrigerator
My Grandma: But you spend all your time on computer, and it is just technology
Me: But its not the same thing at all
My Grandma: And I thought you were smart

Me: 😑

I don't get much spam, but when I do, I rant about how badly those mails are crafted.

I mean, yeah, for non-devs or typical old people, those badly made Google fake mails (that use the old Google logo, the logo in Times New Roman or something) or ISP / phone company mails with malicious attachments may look good enough.

But, seriously, if I were a dev paid to create spam mails, they would look like the real deal, if I may say so myself, as I would actually put some effort in them.

What do you think? Wouldn't spam made by real developers like us be "better"?

Maybe send some examples from inside your junk box 🤔

FUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK ! Sorry I needed to let this out. I make extra hours since a few weeks and this only because 1. I'm the only dev of the team (will seriously need more people). 2. I have to manage people remotely which, as a 3 years old experienced dev, is not what I expect of my job. 3. I need to finish the job of an intern (not even her fault but de was asked to make powerpoints and stuffs instead of working on the module we need).

And today we just asked me if I can work on saturday. NO. I love (or used to?) my job but this can't last for ever.

How are there people liking my comments on super old rants?
Someone has too much time on their hands xD

Going old school, but...
Does anyone else want to literally reach over and strangle people who move your desk items, including swinging your monitor around, using your pen and paper, moving your fan or bottles, or other things?

1.5 hours of my afternoon was spent on the phone talking my grandad through forwarding an email today.

Still love him him to death though.

So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.

We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.

So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.

Guess what it is...

nah you won't

ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?

The company that I work for has recently recruited a team for Web Development, so they don't have to pay a monthly fee to the previous team who designed their website.

They have over 3000+ products in the old website, and no logical way to import them to the new website. The old team was asking for 300$ to give them an API which would return the product details in an XML format.

Obviously, paying that amount of money wasn't logical for a dying website, so the manager decided to hire someone to manually copy the content from the old admin panel to the new one, that is until I stopped him.

My solution? Write a simple web scraper to login to the old panel and collect data. Boom! 300$ saved from going to waste.

Now, the old team found about this and as much as my manager was happy, they were quite angry. So they implanted a Google reCaptcha to prevent my bot from scraping the old panel.

I spent about 20 minutes, and found out once you're logged in to the old panel, the session is saved in a cookie and you are no longer greeted by a Captcha.

So I re-written a small portion of my bot, and Boom! Instant karma from manager. We finished publishing the new site, and notified the old team, only to see the precious look on their face. Poor guy, he thought I was a wizard or something 😂😂

That's what you get for overcharging people!

TL;DR: Company's old website team wanted to overcharge us writing an API to fetch 3000+ records.
Written a basic web scraper to do the same job in less than an hour.

How the fuck does TypeScript still not have service worker support? Seriously, it's just a typings file. People have written that typings file. They would just have to include it in the lib collection shipped with the compiler. Yeah, it would have DOM calls intermixed with the SW api, but frankly, having the typings for a set of calls you can't use is infinitely better than missing them for a set of calls you can.
The relevant issue is 5 years old btw.

My wife went to do some work for a charity. They "got her the best computer available". It was a poor mangled MacBook whose better days were somewhere in the dawn of the last decade.
She tries to type anything... and only gibberish appears on screen.

She comes to me, absolutely me puzzled. I try to type anything... gibberish. I boot up in safe mode, everything is OK.

I look around for system configs... there is a custom keyboard mapping enabled by default.
We check the weird stains on the keyboard... they are regular and in all keys. Like if there used to be adhesive stickers on the keys, and those stickers were later removed.

I boot up again... and type "q". It becomes "a". I type "w". It becomes "b". I dread typing "e". Sure as bug, it becomes "c".
By the love of byte, someone asked for a custom keyboard layout... IN FUCKING ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

It was easy enough to change the layout after that, but the weirdness continues: my wife asked around, and apparently the laptop used to belong to some old dude... who was convinced there were characters missing from his keyboard. Apparently he could never find them in a regular QWERTY layout.

I wish I could give some encouraging words for the kid who came up with the solution. Working around technophobes is a drying art, that needs to be rewarded.

Good morning class! Let's start the day solving bugs in an Android application that many people have already gotten their hands on, which has 3 mixed languages, no comments in the code and is so bad that not even Android Studio recognizes the sources directory. But it compiles, runs and has a 4 month old bug that no one has been able to resolve.

I hate making GUI stuff. Can't people use console instead of GUI as good old times? I've made the whole program for console in Java. Was using it for myself but now I'm thinking of selling it but I have to make a GUI for it first but learning JavaFX is so hella boring.

A message to designers and developers:

please please please stop being so touchy about your designs/software. The final work is meant to be used/enjoyed by end users, customers, clients, young people, old people, disabled people, short attention span people, irrational people, patient people etc. So if they say it's not good enough accept it go back and make it simpler (not necessarily better but simpler) and move on!!

Stop going into defence mode and start throwing your toys out the pram or giving people the silent treatment.

Sorry just been on the receiving end and boy is childish.

We are switching to an infinite scroll mode for our app. I told the backend dev in my project (we're just 2 people) I need an API to get more than one post at once.
He told me to use a loop to call the old URL 15 times.
...Not sure if stupid or just too lazy

In a job that I am WAY over my head. Onboarding is a shitshow like usual the devs did not know I was starting until the day before. My only real expierence is school doing php/laravel. Very honest in my interview only a year of codecamp at a local community college and very small tasks at my old job.

This is a JS app using a bunch of old frameworks/ libraries. I was told it was React in the interview.

How long until they fire me for being i competent?

In the US and working for a defense contractor. Which I was told it was harder to fire people.

3 mos? 6 mos?

Client asks for a Facebook page setup. I find out not only do they have no one to manage the FB page, no one in the company even has a personal FB account.

"Old Person" (noun):
Someone who refuses to wear earplugs, headphones or other personal hearing aid audio devices while demanding, but not paying attention to, a living room television set on the loudest possible volume.

While waiting for the subway to go to work i was checking my emails on my phone, an old man approched "u young people are only using those phones for facebook and useless stuff , find yourself a job and blablabla.. " how can i tell him i'm a mobile developer ... :/

I sadly had to delete my old account because I realized people could trace me back with my old username (and by some of the info I shared).

I love devRant too much to leave though. I genuinely feel like I've known some of you for years when that's just some internet forum full of ranting avatars

*[style*="width:"],*[width] {max-width:100% !important;}img[width] {height:auto !important;}

* !important feels so hacky but it works!

Old site with ancient code and multiple people not versed in css or even newer html. Decided, ah F it, just workaround that and * all the things!

Watched a co-worker configure a new "MacBook pro" as a replacement for the four-year-old one this personcurrently has. A replacement machine is justified as the old one is on the fritz... Naturally because MacBooks aren't any better than any other machine, build quality or otherwise. I still cannot fathom why anyone would even consider budgeting over $3000 for a single machine, only to then buy several adapters just to make the thing work.

Apple is off the deep end. People who fall for that BS are off the deep end.

I feel like showing the manager several alternative models at half the price just to make the point that MacBooks are a pointless waste of money.

Found a 70-year-old retro PC enthusiast who's never heard of the drop fix.

are people forgetting that exists or

Same as we look at some old pages and see "oh this is unstyled table layout, that is xHTML inline style - it's from the 20th century"

People will look at pages of today in like 20 years and be like "Oh gosh, the material design phase. - oh the apple-blur-copy-cat-phase, oldish HTML5 code, that's from the 2010-20-ies"

Why would anyone use -1 for true and 0 for false in a database.

Booleans people!!! FFS

Making migration of old project a real PITA

Everytime I am developing an API (from scratch, not when extending an old one) I try to return 418 HTTP error code in places that aren't yet developed or mainly when something that shouldn't have happened did actually happened. (example: failed non-essential assert, yes python)

So it's always lighter on lungs seeing people running around with wtf.png faces when their browser says "I AM A TEAPOT".

@DFox @trogus found a bug- not sure how easy it will be to fix... if you change your username, mentions in rants and comments still have the old username which will be confusing for people trying to figure out who the mention is for.

Is it possible that on editing a username, all mentions in all comments and rants are renamed as well?

Fucking hell it pisses me off when you go to so much trouble to streamline processes, set up systems that improve workflow and solve issues, find better solutions and show how they make life easier... and people are like "yeah nah let's just do things the same old shitty way we've always done things".

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

A "portal" built on Drupal 7. Started by someone who cannot do anything outside Drupal, and overseen by someone who believes JS to be "low level programming" (he literally said that).

What normally would be a table with 7 columns is instead 7 tables joined together. That goes for each data structure.

Each page, built in a separate module, either manually includes the same css files, or simply copy/pastes them.

Old, legacy modules have been hacked, and now depend on newer modules... Which, in turn, depend on the same old ones.

The theme contains huge, hardcoded parts of logic, so it can never be updated.

Worst part of it? It's only 3 years old. And there are people buying it as SaS. Already hitting bottlenecks at 2k users.

After hassling and saying all the benefits of Linux finally we agreed that she'd give Linux a go on her old laptop and after all the set ups she changes the background picture to windows xp's landscape just to feel good. Change never comes with some people.

So Mozilla let's you download old version of Firefox for people like me who update then find none of their extensions work. But Firefox comes with auto updates by default so it just fucking updates anyway to the new version and everything fucking breaks. Fuck you Mozilla.

NativeScript 8 is released

- They move old docs to v7.docs.nativescript.org

- All links in Google broken

- Search bar on v7.docs.nativescript.org is broken

Can these people do anything right? Look at how Google does it, give me one domain that lets me switch versions.

Fuck.

Been asked to give a lecture to the freshmen at ye olde alma mater.
They are gonna pay for the air ticket, the shuttle to and from campus and a couple nights at a fairly ok hotel.
Feeling like a fucking rockstar.
...
Gave the lecture. Only half those kids spent the whole time on their phones. My old drinking buddy and now a professor at the school said it was more direct attention than one could expect at a music concert.
...
Feeling kinda scared about how young women dress nowadays, but I do am an old indian dude, so what do I know?
Also, since when is lifting weights and running a half-marathon a requirement for a degree in computer sciences? Turing might have been an Olympian, but I'm pretty sure that since the invention of the integrated circuit my people have spent more time in labs than in gyms. That is not true for those kids.
Maybe it's a freshmen thing, and they will age out of that healthy living nonsense. Maybe the real world will crush it under bills and tuition loan repayments.
...
Tried to ask the university for a refund of the hotel and taxi bills that I've paid out of pocket. Two hours in four different queues and two opposite-sode-of-campus buildings. Suddenly remembered the true meaning of the word "Kafkaesque".
...
Remembering the old uni days with some still-in-grad-school / faculty old friends and getting drunk in the old watering holes? Priceless.

How cool is that?
I met an old American couple (in their 70s), a half Korean and half Japanese guy in his 20s, some Chinese girls in their 20s just in the hotel I have checked in yesterday.
It is interesting how a city that is at the center of Turkey is so full with people from other countries.
Tbh I can swear that here are more Chinese people than Turks lmao

On a side note: The old American couple is just a room away from me.
The walls are so thin that I have heard how the American man kind of "screamed" to push his shit into the toilet lol

Dear old people who sends me emails and asks me to print out the form, fill it and bring it somewhere. Just take a fking reply...

receive multi year old confused bug/feature request from a former CEO

why

are there not other people who can immediately answer the questions instead of playing broken telephone when it arrives to me, to go find them

do you not have better things to do with your time and other directional priorities for the company or should i really muck around this low priority thing?

i guess i just lack the CEO M I N D S E T, also the compensation package

When I teach/help someone with code without telling them explicitly what to type and their solution works and they get hyped af. Never gets old. I like helping people.

iPhone XSMax running iOS 14. Otherwise running normally.

DevRant app runs like old people fuck.

Is it just me?

Troubleshooting tips?

What’s this app written in? Is there a DevRant API? I’ll write my own DevRant app with blackjack and hookers.

Recruiter called me to present me a job in fintech.

Arguing about how work standards are important and that task oriented work culture is great.

....

Recruiter (can’t find any argument): All people work in office. It’s financial institution they need to protect privacy.

Me: AWS on last summit presented show case of whole bank from EU in their cloud infrastructure.

....

And we argued for at least 10 minutes where me was talking about losing time and task oriented workplace with specified goals and listening about how brilliant people are there and how much they believe in opensource.

I started believing they want me to go to work to indoctrinate me and make me corporate pig.

Hell no I am to old for that.

Did the latest Windows 10 update fix it so that all your startup apps open before you login?

If so, why don't they mention that in the marketing literature? That's far more impactful to most people than some tab feature in their web browser that only old people use.

Remember my friends

Fuck 2019. I still have one photo of 1/1/2019 on my instagram profile as my first photo with hopes to achieve what i was planning to achieve. But life happened. Things went wrong. Murphy's fucking law took over. Fuck you

Start fresh 2020. Learn from the mistakes. Expect more mistakes because they are inevitable. But do your best to NOT repeat the old ones.

We are going into the new decade. No more 201X year.

-Delete all negative energy
-Cleanse all BULLSHIT
-Remove everything weighting you down
-DETACH FROM THE PARASITE PEOPLE
-Stay with the real people
-Stay with family

2 more weeks until 2020

🙏🙏🙏

they say everything "old" is better, but in programming, dependencies in C was a mess. Shut up. Sometimes C is a cult enforced by those who don't even write in C. Now I build my projects with Parcel in less than a second with no configuration. It uses a full-blown AST for everything. If I want more performance with similar DX, I use fastpack, bringing build time down to tens of milliseconds.

art? charli xcx, sophie xeon, death grips, just to name a few. they made things that weren't imaginable before, ultimately pushing music forward. Hendrix is good but they're just incomparable in terms of beauty, complexity and sophistication.

literature? every old book I read feature same conflicts. they are so similar it's almost boring to read them. meanwhile, Erlend Loe delivers a complex idea without using a conflict (!) and without any character changes. that's insane.

"older is better" is getting old. it's time for you to seek for some other reusable gibberish to insult what other people create.

finally, let me remind you that you, my friend, create nothing.

For a long time I could not understand how do people put up with watching ads in Android apps. Then it dawned upon me: they grew up like this and they never had a proper classic old-school desktop experience. Back in the day it was unimaginable to have intrusive ads. I will never put up with intrusive ads. I despise it

Now even developer tools have ads, like Docker or NPM

Just remembered one of my old workplaces where i had an almost hour long talk with totally unrelated hr people because i was playing one of the games bundled with win10 (that they made me use)

Ive been thinking for a few now that if like to begin a social program to get old people to play computer games.

They are often bored as fuck， cant move much and have no mental challenges.

I mean what else than video games could save the day?

Old homes with puzzles and missing pieces. Dementia neighbours. Ots a no brainer!

In this social network I have previously complained about the lack of opportunities for people who are over 40 years old, but this time I come to tell you that tomorrow I start working in a Colombian startup: with an excellent remuneration, everything necessary by law and I am happy.

I swear I will give it ALL my best.

Everytime I scroll through here I see people complaining about JS and frameworks being made for it. Well think about it, would you rather have to use old buggy JavaScript or help the community and the language achieve better standards? Just look at ES6 and ways to write code and JavaScript really isn't that bad. It's just misunderstood.

Let these rotting institutions die.

Old people still get duped by telephone scammers, but you don't hear anyone saying we should reform the scam artists.

Then again, corporate bureaucracies don't put "Victim of $40,000 Telephone Scam" under their minimum requirements.

I guess if they did, we probably WOULD hear from the hilltops, "We Need Telephone Scam Reform Now!"

Sigh.

People who are too cool for old-and-busted OOP, but want to build microservices: networks of independent, encapsulated systems that look after their own data and communicate by passing messages.

Yup, that's totally not OOP you're doing there, kiddo.

There's an old adage that says: "Beware the programmer with a screwdriver"

... but I've got to say, it's nice to have people so curious about what I'm doing for a change.

A story from the old days

My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...

One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.

When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...

Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...

I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...

One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...

I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...

I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease...

Yesterday I had a questionable pleasure of interviewing a young software engineer who (while answering one of earlier questions) used a principle of polymorphism but made a mistake. So I asked her to explain what polymorphism is.

She couldn't. When she said "let me start from the beginning" for the 3rd time I jestfully noted that if she's more used to virtual communication she can text me the answer, and she not only thought I was being serious but also thought it's a good idea, then texted me a duck emoji, a dog emoji... And got stuck again.

Obviously when we were discussing potential salary she had an answer for every question. Ridiculous answer but no communication issues whatsoever.

So much talk about wannacry and security, but everyone will forget in a few weeks and go back to using old unpatched OS with vulnerabilities.. Why don't people understand that security is a necessity, not a luxury!

I recently found an old friend to help my debugging — I don't have a duck, but for some reason people see them as unserious and think the ones I've got are either cute, quirky, or a natural part of the nerd habitat :P

Yay Google + leaked info!!
New old news again :P

Come on people if you want something to be safe you DO NOT I repeat DO NOT send it to someone else's computer. That's it. Fuck firewalls fuck av fuck it all.

So I had this thought all of a sudden. (Without any drug in my system)

Why are we still developing same old systems, softwares and web applications till now?

Websites, games and creativity involved development are understandable because people have different taste.

But workflow and process are supposed to be precise, standardized and consistent. No?

Is it because businesses are operating in various ways? Then again why?

Shit. I should stop my thinking at this level. 😑

Fucking egos. Why is it so difficult to communicate with some senior?
Senior: we need to support old browsers.
Me: What about using polyfills.ts?
Senior: that's not what I am asking for. what's wrong with my implementation?
Me: check whether a global function exists at one place does not solve the issue. What if people use global function somewhere else
Senior: is the pr breaking some features for old browser...

Fucking hell

!rant
So recently I've been getting a bit tired of my countrie's slow and outdated-ass politics combined with the old-ass leadership.
I make an effort to come over as a liberal in public when I'm under people but sometimes..sometimes it's getting a bit hard.

True story: My old boss once got told by his boss and our 'General Manager' (we think he self titled himself haha) that he shouldn't read technical books as "you don't want people thinking you're smarter than them".

Couldn't believe it. Imagine trying to improve your knowledge, seemed revolutionary in that place

Flask people
so I was given this old flask project, around 3k lines written in py2, the code is simply old and not refactored. So, it's pile of shit. Migrations completely botched as the original author created reference to live data in models.
Very strict line formatting resulting in backslashed ternary conditions.
Even saw manually formatted json responses... _line by line_.

My job is to clean this mess and eventually do as much as possible to freshen the whole project.
Currently just refucktoring the code as it's the only easy thing to do out of everything that could be done (it's still slow process).

Any tricks and tips? currently considering to try upgrading it to py3 but it feels like throwing gunpowder into already burning house.

Due to a service window, we were requested by customer to set up a separate instance of the same web application so they could keep working.

The separate instance was set up and all parties were informed.

Customer and project manager complain that people are still using the old instance, to which I replied I sent an email informing which instance should be used.

Their response: "You wrote to use the new instance, but you didn't write NOT to use the old one."

Love how people are complaining that fallout 76 had an issue where an uncapped framerate speeds up the game because it is 'incompetent' or 'neglectful' yet they will happily use windows 10 that is in the news for having 40 year old bugs...

People keep asking me the reason why I am still using my 9 years old laptop which has Pentium b940 and 4 GB of ram. I should say Its enough for me!
All hard work is on the server side. I just need an SSH client, VS Code, Chromium, and Spotify, all running on a light weight Ubuntu. why should I buy one of those brand new laptops which has lights more than a UFO.

The worst part about working for a big company is that whatever is the problem that you google the solution is always like "try changing this global parameter that only the CEO has the privileges to change" or "the only solution is to raze to the ground your 1 year old technology and use this state-of-the-art edge solution".

And it looks like I'm the only one that complains about this.

I mean, really do people have no constraints when they work?

Know what really grinds my gears?

People who refer to "ajax" as though it's a separate programming language, instead of what it is, which is an old shitty method in an old shitty library. What I do enjoy is people thinking it's dish soap. That will *never* not be funny to me.

Examples:

1. *generic job description*...5 years experience. Desired skills: HTML, Foundation, PHP, Ajax, Fortran, Assembly, Tagalog, smoke signals.

2. Someone in "marketing": "Do you know Ajax?"

3. Jackass in a coffee shop who uses moustache wax: "I'm an ajax programmer. Yeah I've heard of [any recent band], like twenty years ago. They suck."

Go die, and take ajax with you.

The best coworker I've had always wanted to fix everything! And most times he did. But sometimes his fixes created more bugs. Needless to say his name is Paul Ness so it made it even better hearing people say "PNesswhat did you do now!?" , that never got old. 😂

Some business users have been chasing me all week to produce a report using some old report with some modifications.

I didn't write the old code and have no context as to what the data is.

My current reaction is:
so you want a report that says X using some vague input which you haven't clearly defined or explained to me...

Have you heard about black boxes and overfitting (i.e. reverse engineering a process based on sample data)?

TLDR: I can generate a report that will say anything you want it to say... doesn't mean it will be right in future use cases.

Why don't people (originally GBoard suggested peepee) understand "junk in = junk out"

Thankfully I've been lucky enough to work with many brilliant people. The best being the ones who are enthusiastic about sharing tips, tricks and helpful advice to new people. Little pieces of advice from old colleagues have followed me throughout my career, for sure.

By contrast, people who sit in a dark corner, bemoaning everything and being completely unwilling to help can have enough negative impact to cause talented people to leave.

this old bitch on my team keeps on taking my food like an elementary school bully and self proclaims herself as my work mom. it's come to a point where she just takes my food off my tray without asking lols
My petty ass has been bringing chocolate and other junk foods because I know she has thyroid problems
she also talks shit to other people when I go on vacation or call in sick so I don't even give a f

I'm a 23 year old web developer from India. I don't know why getting job outside India is hard and people from other countries think of Indian devs as cheap labor or low skilled. That sucks😑😐

I just solved a 3 or 4 month old bug. Dont even know how long I've been struggling. But im tired. I had to hire people off upwork. Over 20 developers failed to solve this problem. 4 months later this one guy solved it within a day.... Fck u flutter

I love the fact that a lot of people here work as engineers contributing to moving the technical world forward. Yet there's so many posts where people are posting pictures of something on their screen.

Have any of you noticed how bad the new Google login page is? They invented reCAPTCHA, yet they use the old one. Considering how easy it is to make a mistake in the captcha and have to retype the password, people could start making shorter passwords (<16 characters) and seriously lower the security level of their accounts.

"Some time ago I wanted to rewrite my old project. I saw code without comments and cried. Cried so much."

Programming teacher in college

People who teach us programming usually write a quicksort every year for 5-10 years. It is sad af :(

I hate it when people name fancy new techniques but don't actually know what it is. Today I had the following conversation with some of my ClassMates:

Me: Whe should bundle the js and css files of our app
CM1: I used Gulp before, maybe we could use that
CM2: I used Grunt in the past, but thats kinda old-school webpack is what everybody uses now
CM3: I heard Docker is also a great tool for doing webstuff, let's use Docker