>get hired at new company
>so big nobody knows anybody
>buy ancient company swag on ebay and put it at your desk
>everyone thinks you're a ten year

Yyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaa!!!

Who the fuck sells ancient company swag?

I like this idea. Unless you work for a food company and you have rotting edibles on your desk.

However, at your next performance review they might ask what kind of impact you've made in your last 10 years.

I like this idea. Unless you work for a food company and you have rotting edibles on your desk.

However, at your next performance review they might ask what kind of impact you've made in your last 10 years.

I like this idea. Unless you work for a food company and you have rotting edibles on your desk.

However, at your next performance review they might ask what kind of impact you've made in your last 10 years.

Indeed. Old iPhone. It's happened a number of times.

Just more of me to love, I guess.

hahahah, i like the way you think

I was wondering what kind of swag makes you look like a ten years old child.

@k0pernikus get the pun, ten year = tenure

>Someone finds out that you've only been there a month
>Rumours spread that you stole company swag from an old HR employee just before she disappeared under mysterious circumstances
>These rumours make it to HR, who believe them because they're HR and can't think for themselves
>HR pull you into a meeting and fire you for something you didn't do

@AlmondSauce

> Produces eBay receipt.
> Claims was fired under unfound reasons
> Sues company
> Settles for a million in compensation

@Nanos

> Logs into eBay and shows them proof of purchase + bank statement with eBay transaction

@dronesawake

>Old HR employee comes out the woodwork, and claims you *definitely* stole that swag off her desk and the Ebay purchase was a later cover up.
>Employer brings the new evidence to court
>Afformentioned HR employee's body found in mysterious circumstances
>You're now on trial for murder

so that's why so much swag is stolen at fairs?

co-worker once saw someone stealing her coffee mug (she could actually see them taking it from the distance, while she returned to the booth from the bathroom)

it still even had coffee in it!

@AlmondSauce

> Commits code and suicide

@Nanos

> They should send email copies of the receip

@ninjasloth WTF!!

People are sick

@dronesawake What a dark and fitting end to our little story.

@AlmondSauce

And all he ever wanted was to fit in.
#StopImposterSyndrome

@irene secretly we are gay

@irene american for trash