"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"

"I am an experienced data protection manager"

"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"

"No"

"Your email address?"

"No"

"You're hired"

Interview

HR: So .. tell us .. where do you see our AI acting in 5 years?

ME: Doing your job minus the stupid questions.

*silence*

Boss breaks out in laughter.
"Oh boy you're hired"

At my old job we hired a junior developer. Turned out the junior knew more than all of us. I learnt a lot from him and it pushed me to update my knowledge and skill set!

When they want an honest candidate

Can I have a job?

Do you have experience with PHP?

Not really.

You're hired!

You know you have hired a Python programmer do Java when .....

So we hired a part time sales lady to work in our office. She sits right inside the entry to our area. Each morning I am amazed that I can make it to my desk without passing out. All I can think is this:

Dear junior programmers:
You will never get hired from what you learned at University

You have to study on your own, update your knowledge, practice at home and fail

The most important is to know which field to focus on

Got hired!

>get hired at new company
>so big nobody knows anybody
>buy ancient company swag on ebay and put it at your desk
>everyone thinks you're a ten year

Was originally hired for 3 months.

Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.

I fucking hate data science now.

Interviewer: "Do you know Xamarin?"
Me: "I mean I know C# but not app development"
Interviewer: "You're hired!"

Thats pretty much how my interview went

After being hired as a PHP programmer, I have been assigned my first Java project

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

We recently hired a fronted dev and she got confident enough to suggest we use nodejs, my literal reply:

We hired you so we would not have to deal with JavaScript.

Should see her face 😂

Yes! Haven't even graduated yet, and just got hired as Junior Developer - score!

I hired myself :)

Manager: Why is no one innovating?

Me: You hired all of us based on culture fit so you have optimized only in that direction. Everyone is same ... like you

Manager: You are right.

I'm hired fulltime!

I did get a raise but we also hired like 5 new people... But I still do the same amount of work... Which was already too much...

October - Hired

November - Hear that CEO 2 was stealing the company money

December - Dismissing 6 persons. CEO 1 says to me that, since I'm the last hired, I'll be the first dismissed.

March - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 3 persons... still there.

May - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 2 persons... still there.

July - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 9 persons... still there.

Now, with the remaining money the company should live for about 2 years and not dismiss employees anymore.

We were 25 employees, where are 4 now. I feel like the winner of Survivor.

SAP GUI developer interview

Questions:
1. Can you design sites for IE 6?
2. Do you hate HTML5?
3. Do you love website design from the 1990's?

If you answered yes to all 3, congratulations you are hired.

When a client refuses to pay you because they don't like the color of their logo.

I was hired to build a website.

I got hired to fix the script a developer before me wrote. That's just 1% of the shit!

'' If you create our website you're hired ''.

If Drivers where hired like Programmers ...

We hired a new team lead. On his first day he wore green leather elf shoes. Yeah, the pointy kind.

He also ended up being one of my favorite people ever, but also one of the weirdest.

Applied for the job, recruiter got in touch with me and setup an interview.

Interview went well and heard I was hired after two days!

Yes, good recruiters, they exist ;)

Recently just hired as a software engineer right out of college. Only three days into the job and I feel like I'm way out of my league. Is this normal?

I accepted the job for Machine Learning.

I got hired todo the back end.

I actually do the front end.

I got the job!

Hired a dev with everything he asked for on interview.
Started on Monday.
Take half day leave on Tuesday.
Informed his resignation on Wednesday.

For fuck sake, please don't do that people. For your mother and grandmother and great great grandmother sake. Please just don't.

Today I was hired to pentest a company's framework. While getting directions on what needs to be tested I counted 4times the sentence:
"We are a multi-awarded company for our security, virtually nothing gets past our firewalls".

Most of the PCs had Win98

when your boss tells you they hired you just to save money, and the job should actually be done by a team of intermediate/senior devs, but they thought one junior dev could do it in the same time span

Hired!!!

I was hired to create a MailChimp clone for internal use. Since then, more than half of the marketing team has been fired because their work is not needed anymore.

!Rant

Last Thursday: solicitation
Friday: got a call that I'm hired
Tuesday: signed contract

I did it, I just got my first job!

HR - There is a 2 years gap on your CV!
Candidate- I was in Yale.

HR - Oh wow that's great! You're hired!

Candidate - Yay! I got a yob!

What's the point of these stupid questions? Do I really have to kiss some ass even before being hired?

After a year and a half of unemployment and near depression, multiple rejections and turmoil from within my family, I finally got a job!

Never give up, just believe in yourself and in the universe.

Onwards and upwards!

!rant

WAAAAA I JUST GOT HIRED!
Sorry for all caps but I just got hired for a Java traineeship although I have a business management studies background, I'm super happy right now to finally pursue what I want!

!rant
Dream Interview
-recruiter. Where is the 2nd page of your letter of application?
-me you now can get it as a DLC for Just 4.99!
-recruiter you're hired, welcome to EA Games!

“UR HIRED”

First job interview, caused such a good impression that I was hired on the spot. Oh yeah

A lite story about how i was hired at 16 years old.
Me at 11. Modifying HTML templates to create a sign up page for a game. Me at 14. Created some worthless websites in the past (at a training), barely knowing the structure of HTML.
Me at 15. Made my first website for a customer (using WordPress for the first time, didn't know how to use it before). The website was selling apartments, it was looking very good and went on the first place on SEO. Got my first money (100E).
Me at 16. Made some other WordPress websites for other customers (one of them still haven't paid, the website was made way back in 2015), so i shut down the website and replaced it with a text saying "This website is currently down until the customers pays the developer".
Me still at 16. A friend of my mom sent my CV to multiple companies, to work as a intern to learn more, and one of them accepted me for a interview (a well known and one of the best company with 30~ people)
Went to the interview, asked me about what i realized, what i can do, about my knowledges in others languages etc (forgot to mention that i love the computers from young age, so i was very good in them, specially at the age of 11), so they were happy about it and asked called me for another interview with the boss. Went to it, the boss asked me some tricky questions, i answered them immediately, he was very surprised about my knowledge at that age and accepted me immediately. After working for 2 weeks, instead of hiring me as a intern for 4-6 months, they instead hired me as a normal person, as a front end developer, for an undefined date, making 250 E / Month (6 hours per day in summer)
Now, I'm in the 11 grade, working for them about 9 months, making 315 E / Month, working for 4 hours per day after school, the place is cool, my entire team (family) is very funny and very cool, and they asked me many times to help them with different problems they had and i fixed them immediately (they really didn't know some stuff which i knew). Worked on big projects and worked on some from scratch by myself and they were very happy about how it went.

TLDR: was talented in computers (software), I'm a fast learner, barely knew about making websites, hired as a front end developer at 16 yr.

Btw, I'm in love with DevRant, I'm feeling like home everytime i visit this community :').

P.S. Sorry for my bad English and the mistakes i made.

alert("Thanks for reading my first rant!");

I was interviewed for a gaming studio, when I showed them my hobby projects for play testing we encountered a bug, convinced them it was feature and put on my best poker face.

Boy was I shocked when I got hired.

Someone from the higher ups had received complaints that I don’t answer my phone enough.

My boss told them I wasn’t hired here to provide phone support.

Great, hired as a python developer, only doing JavaScript

My very first rant. I will try to make it count!

Recently my company had restructured with new GM who fired those who he didn't like and hired those who he did.

All ok I guess. And then...

We did a project for a big sportswear brand, interactive installation using WebSocket. My team developed the server with game engine and we also developed "shell front-end" with example code how to connect and interact with server.

Then we realized that our company was actually not hired by sportswear brand, rather by GM buddy-from-the-army tech vendor, who was hired by actual client.

Then, we also realized there is another company, that GM hired as freelancers, sitting at our office doing 'something'. And this 'other company' actually has same employees and address as GM's buddy company (meaning they are one entity with two names).

So.. what happened is that we get paid by party A, then we pay exactly the same amount to party B (which is actually same party A), and at the end... all our work was for free.

And then, this GM tells me I have to fire 2 developers from my team because we don't have enough business.

How did this guy even get to a position of this level?

I don’t have a degree, nor has a degree ever prevented me from being hired / doing my job.

Now that’s not to say all businesses / companies will over look your education section on the CV, But for me it’s never been a problem.

#SelfTaughtDevsMatter

I would ike to be @dfox or @trogus. In any job interview just drop the phrase...

I founded devrant...

Hired 😁

Had a 3 day interview. Got a callback few days later. On my way to my first job!

"Attention micromanagers
If you don't trust your employees to
work from home, you've hired the
wrong people, or your management
style needs updating. Either way,
you're the problem."

Seen on linkedin today

I would have hired him 😐😁

I don't know what to do I got hired by a adult video company. I will be maintaining sites you visit everyday.

Last year a random company hired me to develop an Angular app. One of the main requirements was that it needed to be compatible with IE6 cus thats what they were using internally... I accepted the offer...

That moment when you get hired and you abandoned your LinkedIn and your Portfolio Website.

When I was first hired, I coded all day long and all was right with the universe. Then I got promoted. now all I do is attend meetings, grant access, and review other people's code. I need a demotion.

Just learned that my previous workplace hired someone to take over the frontend which was my first big javascript project, and now I have an odd fear for my life.

Was hired to help setup linux backup. Ended up helping fire someone

!rant

I got hired!!

It's been a long month of jobhunting, interviews, and paperwork, but I finally got a job. Real world dev life here I come.

I found this posted by a recruiter and I liked it:
| hired someone that didn't shake my hand firmly during the
interview - he rocked as an employee.
| hired someone with three typos on their resume. - She was
the most detailed oriented person l’ve ever worked with.
| hired someone without a college degree- He was way
smarter, innovative, and creative than mel!
| hired someone with four kids- Never met someone so
devoted and committed to her career.
| hired someone who had been incarcerated as a young adult.
- He's a VP now.
| hired someone over 60- she taught me some tricks on excel
that | use to this day!
Can we please throw out all those silly assumptions and rules that we've made up in our head about what a person needs to
be, look like, have accomplished, and do, to succeed?
In my experience, as an HR leader and as a hiring manager, it's those that typically don't get a “shot” who tend to kick butt
in the workplace!
So before you throw that resume away because they don't have every certificate and degree - or - don't call back that candidate because they didn't give you a firm handshake - think about trying something new. Someone new.

So, I applied for a job lately and the first interview via Zoom went pretty good. Then I got an invitation for a second interview at the company.

I got there, was guided into a conference room and the two head of departments along with an HR woman joined. After a bit if chit-chat HR rep said I should tell them in the next couple of days if I'm still interested. HR left, the other two gave me a tour of the complex, lasting about an hour.

then we got back to the conference room, waited for HR rep and when she arrived she told me something along the lines of "Yeah, we got an impression of you now and you don't need to contact us anymore if your are interested...."

me to myself: "wait what? that sucks...."

HR: "We are impressed enough of you that we want to hire you immediately. Here is the contract!"

me (completely speechless): "oh... OH... THANKS, but... OHHHH" (having a stupid perplexed grin on my face)

I mean... I got the job and pay is good, but PLEASE don't trick me like that!!! I nearly got a heart attack!!!

Wasn’t hired once because “we are startup and we don’t like your favorite meme that much”. Yes, this is what happened.

Their company was gone in two months.

They said my favorite meme wasn’t so nice
Their bodies are now food for the mice

Finally got my first REAL job 🙂

I just got hired as a systems administrator at a company that develops web forms. NO ONE in the company has heard of git. They don't use any kind of version control.
I'm a little worried...

Getting hired at my job, I've learned so goddamn much in the past 2 months and my team is amazing

Manager: That last dev you hired is working out well. Where did you get him from?

Dev: *Looking at new hire’s resume which only contains a single bootcamp and nothing else*

Dev: He’s a rescue.

What if we hired drivers like we hire programmers

"Hey ,we just hired a developer to work on app A ,so you can stop working on it and focus on B"

**2 weeks later **
"It's been 2 weeks.Why haven't you finished A already?"

Me: "I really love cooking, it's my hobby"
They: "Would you cook for fifty people, sometimes"
Me:"... maybee"
*hired*

Just got moved from contractor to full time at my dream company halfway through my contract. On top of the world right now 😀

I was hired as a programmer, but I feel like the correct term is reprogrammer, because no one can code for shit at my job...

Recently got hired for my first full-time role and I am overcome with joy, but also terrified of not living up to expectations =/

Hired and Paid as a web developer.

But sitting here adding products to a woocommerce site.

The punk with different coloured shoes who hired me in 1990

top categories of people screwing my job:
- consultant
- fake positive thinking attitude

We just hired a fake positive thinking consultant

Holy shit, I just got hired.

I am officially hired as an Associate Business Analyst ! I made an internship as an Analyst Developper and the company enjoyed my work so they ask me if I wanted to join the team ! 🎉

A liitle upset..
Didn't get hired :(

"If I want to get hired to do something, I should already be doing it." - Trent Walton

It today's team meeting my manager asked, "What is GitHub?"

Seven years leading the group. Hired with no dev knowledge. Can't be bothered to acquire any.

junior developer position:

You must know:
HTML
CSS
JavaScript
React
Vue
Angular
Java
PHP
C
C++
Ruby on Rails
Python

Computer Science degree required
Expect a 10 round interview process

And if you're still alive after that,
You're hired!

Apply now!

Fourth day at new job, hired as a C++ developer.
"We think you'll be a good fit in this team!"
It's a huge JavaScript project. I feel lost and confused 😓

I am hired immediately after my internship!

There's a developer hired solely to write an application to replace millions of dollar third-party subscription somewhere in the universe.

Team leader: so can you develop uwp application?
Me: sure...
Team leader: ok! You're hired to find our bugs , by the way, we give our employees Microsoft Lumia phones.
Me: OMG.im out. the phone will get bsod.
#TrueStory #SecurityCompany

Got hired as a fullstack dev last august (first dev job). This was a 1 year contract. Was offered permanent employment today and I can't stop grinning :D

I hired my first employee and hes starting on Monday! Can you give me some advices on how to onboard him smoothly and be a good boss?

You were hired, not adopted.
The company is not your family.
The office is not your home.
And your boss is not your friend.
You owe nothing there beyond what you are being paid for.

Recruiter:

... the bank purchased a 3rd party tool and hired a 3rd party development team to add some features to the tool. That external team hired their own 3rd party team, and now there are 400+ bugs in the system. Would you like to work as a test-automation lead on this project?

Me: Fuuuucck no.

"It's faster to just use one mysql table with 300 columns then linking the data in 10 tables. 10 tables mean 10x the load time!"...

- External consultant hired for optomizing database. (He didn't make it through the day and was sent home...)

CEO: You are hired to solve the problem for the company, not to create new problems
Me: You are the problem.

So far 9 people left because of that newly hired COO ( check my previous rants ), 4 from digital department including the manager

Enjoy making the company bankrupt asshole !!!

Got hired as a junior front end developer.
1 year later I am main java developer for two big projects.

Fuckery galore ladies and gents!

Sooo this happened when I got hired to "redesign" a website. I opened up one of the WYSIWYG areas and holy shit there were literally hundreds of break tags.

Newly hired developer who calls himself ”senior” on linkedin has not contributed for 6 months. At least. I have been very helpful on many pair programming sessions. Directing him. Being extremely precise how things works and are working together. Small and big picture. He calls me and ask questions and I answer. Explain. Again and again. But it does not stick.

Nothing.

Extremely precise tasks. Written specifically for him.

Nothing.

He has like 10 commits in one year. It’s the worst I’ve seen in a developer role.

The other day in a zoom meeting he failed to declare a variable correctly. He copy/pasted a line instead and renamed the variable.

I saw this early. But I need not to work with him for a long time. It is now very clear that he will never contribute but in fact decrease the velocity of the team.

One year is a long time.

He is stupid. He can’t learn. Did he not tell the truth about himself when management hired him?

It so sad they hired him.

You hired me to be a JavaScript developer. Just because you have stock inMicrosoft is not a good reason to try stuffing Typescript down my throat. Maybe you should have hired a Typescript developer!

Couple of weeks ago I posted that I failed my first interview by phone. Today I got the news that I'm hired at a different company for my first development job. Python here I come baby

I left uni in 2005 clutching my shiny new .NET based degree, and was instantly hired by a local software firm... to maintain their legacy Turbo Pascal systems.

Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.

When an external webdeveloper creating the website for the company you start working for says something is not possible in CSS and complicated Js is needed and you're like: "who hired this wannebe developer?! Give me a minute or two"

My last job application letter was literally: “I saw your add and since you don’t do web stuff I decided to apply”

Hired

The past few weeks were not so good to me, but guess what, I got hired today. And now, i'm thankful that i got rejected from the previous ones. Wish me luck on my career as a junior dev. :)

I was hired as a C++ dev, ended up doing full stack (React/Redox frontend, Djanho backend).

I was just an intern but by the time I was done there I was in charge of the whole frontend because the other guys quit.

Fuck that place.

When you get hired for backend work and are tasked with nothing but front-end work. I gave up a solid position for this?!

I am just thrilled about the new employees! They are so talented…

O-M-F-G!

Who hired these people!? It-is-incredible! (Actually, I know who hired them!) Just unbelievable amount of wasted time holding their hand on every step of the way. 10 years experience? I-think-not! This will not working out!

Don’t even speak understandable English. Just difficult to know what they are asking since they lack the basic principles of the english language.

Beginning of the end.

Imbeciles!

Hired as a programmer, used as IT support for the "normies".

Is it possible to be hired as a Junior Developer if you are 36 years old?

Rant!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuccccccckk this new dev hired is such a dick he keeps on not testing his own code for simple things and expects everyone else to test it on local and tell him his bugs.

"Only show work you like, or you’ll end up being hired to do things you don’t like." - Victoria Pater

when you get hired as a PHP developer but most of the work you do is front end...

Today my manager hired a new dude doing front end, spend literally whole day to setup his VSCode and Angular thing.
And because I’m a good MIS dude, I do my job right via giving him a company laptop with VS, VSCode, Node and Angular preinstalled.

So apparently I'd been hired 2 emails ago, only because the email said "I've been told that you're starting with us in April" and not "you're hired" I didn't realize it. Extremely neurotypical behaviour.

Worst: Getting fired for talking too much shit about how the higher ups don’t know how to run a company.
Best: Getting hired at a way less stressful job that pays 50% more and realizing the last place was toxic as fuck.

rant!

Gets hired as a C++ programmer. for the past weeks I have been designing UI interface without writing code.

#FML

Why is it that it takes 3 interviews and a month and a half if time to get hired for a fucking internship that only pays 12$/hr????

Seriously.. Getting job apps rejected because I'm over qualified for the job.

Well, if I wasn't interested In the job and staying if hired, then I wouldn't have had written a tailored application..

A Python developer hired to do Java, ended up doing PHP and .NET

We hired a new senior dev. The lead architect is going over basic bit branching and commits with him. This new job already feels like a dumpster covered in petrol.

Hard pill to swallow:

If you get hired as a full stack dev and then complain that you're doing 3 people's (or more) jobs while getting paid for 1,

You had it coming.

So I was looking for restaurants and this is the website of one in my area. Not sure if minimalistic design or just writen html in text editor. Maybe he hired a dev who took "will only take 30min" too seriously.

I was hired to do a massive project as a temp. I got part way done and they hired me full time to finish. Then I moved to putting out production fires for unrelated systems until I left.

I have some good, no, great news I forgot to share yesterday:

Drum roll 🥁🥁🥁🥁

I just got my first job as an intern!!!

I'll be developing their product from scratch along with a few other devs, it's gonna be awesome. My primary occupation will be as a backend dev, but I'm also gonna help a bit on the frontend.

They also said they won't micro manage me, they just want me to deliver their tasks, so I can work whenever I want and not necessarily 6 hours a day. I'm a bit skeptical here because that sounds like they're gonna overwork me, but they also said they don't want to get in the way of my studies in college, so idk. It seems like a really nice place.

It's going to be remote work and the pay is also very good for an internship.

All of it seems way too good to be true, there has to be a catch... I'll find out in time, just let me be happy for getting my first actual job ever ok? Just for a few days.

Anyways, I'm just so fucking happy with this and wanted to share it with ya :)

Never took any degree in anything except finishing gymnasium (as we call it in Sweden). Got hired before I even had the chance to move on with studies. Although, even if I would have, I don't think it'd been computer science.

You hired a developer but what you really needed was an entomologist.

Hertz the car rental company wanted a new website. They hired accenture. Accenture did allegedly a poor job. The site did not come with responsiveness, not with web components and 2 years over deadline. Hertz sues Accenture for $38+ million.

Scope creep deluxe?

Can you be hired as a developer if you are not holdind a cs degree?

Fuck! I am never gonna get hired again. I fucking suck at live coding. My mind just fucking gets blocked. On simple shit like arrays. I still suck at regular expressions though. Fucking failed Amazon and now wayfare.!!!! Fuck my fucking god dam life.

I was fixing an issue where I have encountered a Java class written by a recently hired senior developer with 1K+ lines of code.
Inside that class....
One Method => 1K lines🙄🙄

I don't know where to bang my head now😐😐

I get the mobile app dev job and they let me use Flutter to build apps

when I got hired my boss wrote a cms in php that's 50,000 + lines of php code, without a single line of documentation. Yeah can you tell how my first few weeks went?

My job is so boring... they hired me to work front-end using Vue and I'm doing back-end using Django.

I found myself so bored I think about creating an app called Big Dick Energy - A Dick Contest when I'm close to comatose.

Was hired as an intern, paid me the minimum wage, had to independently handle 3 large scale projects. Got to learn A LOT but was not paid enough.

!rant

You're Hired,
Now please remove the Virus.

The guy Intel hired to come up with instruction mnemonics must be just letting his cat walk over the keyboard every time he needs a new idea.

cvttps2dq? sounds good!

I was contracted for an app (side gig) and told I would have a team working with me. It’s been 5 months and no one else has been hired... At this point, it would probably take 5 more months to explain my shitty code to a new guy.

tfw...

• the new "sr dev" asks what the point of TDD is
• being polite, I answer in an ELI5 format
• rest of the room nods head in agreement
• new "sr dev" still has baffled look on face

New dev hired to assist me told the boss that he was going to refactor the code to improve stability.

He converted all my fragments into activities. Because he didn't understand working with the back stack. Now everyone is asking me what happened.

This is the funniest fucking IT meme I’ve ever seen. It’s on par with that meme where anon gets hired to Pulseaudio, and the whole dialog is just empty speech bubbles

I actually have no idea why I got hired. I didn't have an interview rather a chat. Next thing I knew I had the offer letter and an employees contract.

Just been hired as a mid level developer for an IoT company. With considerable benefits and pay increase!

YES!!

They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!

Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)

The coincidence is that I got hired today only! This was my first job interview. I am a student. Not sure if it gets counted as my last job selection but i am super happy. ;)
Thanks devRant for this special topping. 😁

The new regime our PM took on this morning with a newly hired, and still mentally sound dev.

"We will solve bugs for an hour everyday"

FTW

At the beginning of my IT career I was so desperate to get into this field that I even read a PHP 4.3 intro book and applied for a php dev role

yes, I was THAT desperate. Good thing I wasn't hired.

Interviewer: Tell me something interesting about yourself.
Me: I know how to exit Vim.
Interviewer: We are done. You are hired.
😂😂😂

was hired as "Lead developer" of a growing team for an advertising agency. it turned out to be 80% updating contents at some joomla sites

Got hired for my UI knowledge, then I get stuck doing backend work since I started, while the mountain of UI work just continues to grow and they refuse to let me work on it instead of hiring more backend help. Cool cool cool cool.

Anything that will get me hired.

Because hopes and dreams don't pay the bills :^)

Was hired as a mobile dev / mobile web dev, was told my main project would be integrating a tool with phonegap.

... 13 months later I was never asked to download phonegap and was now writing server side java. Surprisingly I left that job

You really start to question your choices in life when you can't get hired or get paid freelance work, so you apply to help (for free) on Catchafire... and get rejected.

My boss does this management by neglect thing - he is hardly in the office and mostly communicates in slack. Today it got really vague and ambiguous.

So - when 4 people don't understand your slack message - the obvious conclusion is that you hired 4 morons...

Learn as many languages as you can as soon as you can, they said, it's the only way to get hired! Sure... I'll get awful at a lot instead of really good at one thing and actually be useful 😐

I am feeling little fucked up.
I talked to one of the female employees from my new company, I'll be joining next month.
She asked manager to hire a girl in the team, I know she casually asked but after knowing this, I know my interviews were surprisingly easy, I mean I know already that no one asked me to optimize anything... did the fucking hired me for diversity, pay is good, people are good, work is good but seriously if I'm getting hired for the fucking diversity my manager is going to have a good speech from me and I'll move from his team for sure.

Hm.. I wonder if maybe Google finally hired a deaf person....

This stuff is the main reason I wanted to work for Google.

Two years ago, a government agency hired an applicant with obviously lesser experience (a fresh graduate for crying out loud) than mine for a developer job (with 13 years of foundation). He was hired because he had connections inside this agency.

Recently, I heard that this guy is starting to be a pain in the neck. Who wouldn't be?!?! The guy has got connections inside. He's untouchable. And it's irreversible. Sad story.

Out of curiosity: how likely is your company to hire someone without a college degree?

Follow up, do you think not having a college degree would affect advancement down the road if a person does get hired in the first place?

I'm praying for our newly hired Software Architect. Because He sets unrealistic timelines. He said that He will code, but yeah He just said it. Also, praying for our project. Coz it's really doomed!

Client : you are hired as a developer.

Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.

Client : Ok, here's another dev

(Meanwhile me doing my work...)

ON THE DAY OF DEMO :

Me : Here's the demo.

Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?

Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before

Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!

Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )

When you got hired

HR: please come to us if there's any problems related work so that we can give a solution.

After years of working you send a mail with you problems, it's been months. Still no reply! And try to avoid conversation regarding that problem.

How many devs here got hired through Google's Foo Bar challenge or got the invitation?

I got the invite and have sent my assignments for review. Anyone know what happens next.

The client in my previous two rants officially hired me as their Head of Tech Support.

I moved into the tech support office today, with a super comfy ergonomic chair and a huge table.

If only there's someone else here......

when u r hired as a django developer and told to learn php also in the first week. (gonna quit this job)

Hi guys,

In general, how much do you think a front end developer gotta know to get hired as an intern?

I can’t anymore with those companies hiring unicorns only, reposting the same job offer for 6 months while they could have hired someone more junior and taught them. 1 year my girlfriend is in the “no experience” death loop while she outsmarts me by far.

I became good enough to be hired as a developer by reinventing lots of wheels and making mistakes. A lot of mistakes.

New job wants me to send them a photo for the ice breaker email they're sending out about me joining...now to find a pic where I'm not making a dumb face or taking a selfie with a dog.

I HATE javascript syntax like this: `${this.props.app.listingObj.property.id}` What idiot thought this crappy syntax would make things run smoother?

Keep in mind I've been hired as a tester, hence the rants. Were this my own app I'd burn it to the ground and rewrite it.

Two mid level positions open 1+ years ago. Me and my coworker hired on the same day.

Now, only one promotion opens up.

Business world is brutal.

The useless, recently hired nightmare of an ops manager has been fired! Huzzah!

For the person who gets hired to work on the pile of **** I produced today, years from now:

Sorry, and good luck. 😶

When you're hired to write a basic FTP guide for a mooc and the 13 year olds you get to test it without help manage fine but the 38 year old 'ex developer' asks faaar too many questions to try understand it

Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.

I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages.

Hired me on Upwork, now the deadline is coming near and he is too busy to answer any of my attempts to get response...

We hired two developers (out of country). Got them set up with the repo and running the app (mobile). One was complaining the login was failing, after 5 minutes, realizes hes not connected to the wifi on his phone.

I am unsure who we are hiring

So third party devs that my employer hired to build our web based application used fucking spaghetti jQuery to validate all of it with no documentation. What a bunch of cunts.

Quitted the job because it was too stressfull and toxic .
Hired at another company . It's too slow paced and boring and I miss my old job.
FML i have no fucking idea what i want.

My company just hired an older coworker that uses a flip phone 😳
Idk wether to be concerned or scared ..... 😩

Asshole that my client hired: "You will be reporting to me now. As per client request."

Me: "I will murder you."

So I was hired as a Graphic Designer. Now I'm tasked with the new job title of Graphic Designer/Web Coder/IT/Warehouse Inventory Inspector/Intern/Secretary. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore...

I know it's late but: IoT.
Why? Because i was hired to do that.

I'm BACK! (Just haven't used DR in a looong time cuz I had other jobs and kinda forgot about it).
But now I am back and recently got hired as the IT-support guy for some health centers. The best part is that they had some old systems that needed updating so here I am trying to wrap my head around PHP before throwing myself in someone elses code, someone got any tips for learning PHP?

Adrian is expecting new hired programmers to consume their 2+ years shit in a week. wth!

Hired as a junior full stack when I didn’t know shit about frontend. Ended up taking care of full stack on both mobile and web. Quit 6 months later due to burnout

What they say: "we hired a SEO expert to review the webpage"

What I see:

HR: "you are the highest paid dev on team"

Dev: Then not just me, the entire team should get a hike 🥴

HRs are hired because they are good negotiators.

#aFriendsStoryAtABigMNC

We hired a new developer and our manager (that was not involved in the hiring process) is impressed he actually manages to boot up his computer.

He spend a full 3 days trying to install python, not even setting up our own applications.... Just python...

I was hired as a team lead. I'd only managed small online teams before but now it's an office job. Any books and articles on technical team leading you may suggest?

That awkward moment when you're trying to find patterns to pin point trade ahead transactions on stock market and you realized that you were hired as Android developer.

still can't believe someone actually hired me as dev and then multiple companies tried poaching me (one tried twice, another tried four times)

what are they all on

Do you remember what kind of questions and information you were given *after* being hired as a programmer?

For example, in the service industry, they might tell you about payroll, how they do scheduling, what a typical day looks like for your role, etc.

"We don’t get hired to make pretty things or win design awards. We get hired to solve business problems." - James Bradley

I hired someone to improve my credit score and he did. I feel better now without guilt, the system is a scam anyways.

I love how the consultants Microsoft hired to estimate the savings upgrading to Windows 10 comes up with the number $404 per employee. I think there's a hidden message here...