computer: "save this image as yv958gpyig071.jpeg?"

me: "yes”

five months later: wtf is yv958gpyig071.jpeg?

hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
********* see!

Hi Brew, I asked you to install one thing and not updated the outdated packages!

Bitch!

Getting ++ on devrant, best feeling ever.

*Two noobs entered the Vim bus and missed their stop.*

They got off 10 stops later after the bus broke down.

Sleeps at 4AM
Wakes up at 1PM
My Mind: Ready to code again.
Also me: Why not learn to code with vim. I think it's about time

Vim: I dare you to exit Motherfucker

>get hired at new company
>so big nobody knows anybody
>buy ancient company swag on ebay and put it at your desk
>everyone thinks you're a ten year

Imagine this: You're a DevOps engineer or SW Engineer at StackOverFlow.

Plot: Stackoverflow is down, you can't search for the solution cause Stackoverflow is down.

Question : Is it just to consider this as a recursive problem?

Am sticking this on the office wall to justify my mid-day drinking.

I want to joke about my grandmother and her old computer, but I feel like the joke is too old.

What if life was on git? Where you can simply create new branches of it, stash shit, remove dumb people with dependencies and finally the ability to turn back time with this version control.

Developers are the only people that knock off for work at 8pm, and at 7am your project manager wants to see something new on where you left off. What happened to fairness?

Why am single 😂😂
On a date with a girl:
Her: Tell me what you do for a living
Me: I create my own stress and worries, sometimes these worries follow me in my sleep.
Her: Did they follow you here?
Me: Yes! Infact, I got it now. I think I forgot to install curl, that's why my API queries wouldn't work.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: I mean, I out of here, bug is fixed bit*h

Ever had your own "It's not a bug, it's a feature" moment?

Ever been hit so bad by a bug that you check the time hoping to knock off in the next 10 minutes, only to realize its 7:30 AM. I have been at work for 30 min! *SLAMS KEYBOARD*

Employers and clients think developers come up with genius solutions while in offices, hell no!
Most of the genius solutions come when a Dev is showering, gaming, peeing, pooping etc. So don't fire me cause I am playing Dota 2 on my laptop. Am innovating bit*h

My grandmother started dating soon after granddad's death.
Death of Grandpa: fuser -k 80/tcp
Announcement to all programs, port 80 is now free

Everyone is updating their privacy policy because of GDPR while my mom still busts into my room without knocking.... She hasn't read the GDPR has she?

My solution to transfering files over the same network.

Zip required folders
sudo service apache2 start
Finally: http://my-ugly-io/

Me: I need a girlfriend, dev life is so lonely.

...
A week later:
Me: sudo rm -rf girlfriend

Yall thought heart breaks are painful, wait till you have a merge conflict.

My mom asked me what I do for a living.
Me: I create bugs for a living