How to deal with micromanagment?
I just lose it when the team leader checks on issues on a hourly base, And dont get me started on the scrum master who checks the sprint status twice a day.

I can't quit this work but I'm losing mind here.
H-O-W T-H-E F-U-C-K do i deal with this idiotism??

Just say "I'm still working on it."

And perhaps bring it up on a retrospective meeting or similar that you think there are too many distractions.

When my boss does that I will say to him "do it yourself then", and then he backs off as he hasn't programmed in ages

What, your team lead just checks? You don't truly know micromanagement until you had one who decides what Git branches to create and prohibits committing to develop directly "because I say so".

I don't know how to deal with that either. Rational counterarguments is answered with yelling, as is ignoring obvious bullshit decisions, as is asking higher bosses for support. Probably a no-win scenario.

@VaderNT it's just the tip of the iceberg..... there are moments he decides that we are doing pair programming now and start wrotin code for me, this is usually the part i go for a smoke

If you're made to record time, start recording the time it takes for you to communicate this stuff back to them.