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Warning: This is gonna come across as a little cringe/self-pitying, but whatever

Jesus Christ I'm so fucking lonely it literally hurts. I know I should be grateful I have a hobby in coding, also recently I got my first job as a developer (even if I'm overworked and paid shit all with poor job security), but I swear what will eventually kill me will be my own hand cos this empty feeling is unbearable at times.

Also, I'll try to ask this in the most politically correct way possible: how do you single guys in your 20s/30s cope with the lack of females in the industry? I absolutely do not mean this in a "making-unwarranted-advances" sort of way; I just mean that we're biologically wired to desire some form of interaction with the opposite sex (unless you're queer), and this happens naturally in most professions but obviously not engineering/software dev. It's especially difficult when you don't have a big social circle so your job basically becomes your life.

So... For those of you who can relate, what do you do? Do you make an effort to socialize outside work? Or maybe you're lucky enough to work somewhere with a diverse mix of people? Should I blame Zuckerberg for damaging my adolescent brain and turning me into a needy piece of crap?

Comments
  • 4
    Same thing here, but I'm not that desperate.

    I mean I never was in a relationship, but I don't feel the need to be in a relationship either.
    I am chill with it. Letting the future decide if I am going to find the love of my life or be disappointed again.

    Sure, there is this biological urge, but you can control it.
  • 2
    @-ANGRY-STUDENT- Yeah I hear you, I guess we have no other choice but to control it. I guess you *could* try to be an outgoing person on weekends, but if you're naturally introverted + exhausted after working non-stop + broke then why even bother.
  • 0
    @angrydev1234 if you meant you as in referring to me, I'm an ambivert.

    A mixture of introvert and extrovert.

    I like socializing (charging energy for a short time by being around people - extrovert), but I can't stay in such a field for too long (decharging energy when it's taking too long - introvert).

    In the weekends I meet friends and other people at a bar or club, but after a maximum of 4 hours I feel like I'm tired. Even if I do nothing.
  • 1
    Same happens with me sometimes , i start to feel alone so i try to distract my mind and I've been doing this for a long time.
    I always thought i am only person who feels this but after i read i found that this sort of problem comes handy when you are an introvert. Just try to distract yourself or talk to some friend or have a walk
    That would help.
  • 2
    30 years old here.
    you get used to the loneliness pain, if you don't poke it too often by actually meeting people.

    it'll change from nearly unbearable pain to just chronic boredom or something like that.

    and then you can deal with 90% of it the same way as any other type of boredom.
  • 1
    29 yrs old here. I sometimes suffer of this, I have friends tho and I tend to talk more with a female best friend, I guess I wait for the pain to go away or share it with my best friend, not sure if that's a coup mechanism
  • 2
    Try Couchsurfing, that way you meet people all the time. Unfortunately you were born to the wrong sex if you can't deal with being alone and the only way to fight it is for me actively try my best to look for people. Couchsurfing, ok Cupid, Tinder, Facebook groups, new group hobby's like tennis, debating, boardgames, learning a language and basically anything you here of.
  • 1
    Reminds me of something I read about there being a difference between wanting to be or liking being alone, but still disliking the feeling of loneliness.

    To be fair, every time I felt lonely before being married I had little to no trouble in finding a girl to spend time with, but I understand if someone is more on the shy side of things and does not know how to approach (in our case) females. It's ok, not something that defines you unless you want it to. Think of all the awesome shit that makes you be you and be confident about it, break through that mental wall and get out there to show people that you got the goods that can make someone look at what you got to offer.

    Yeah I know, easier said than done, but I am firm believer in that people project a lot their own perception of themselves, confidence is key to everything.

    Chin up man!
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