HR's number one skill: lying.

Rule 1: HR is not your friend

HR's number 2 skill: delegating responsibilities

I don't think anybody can beat salespeople on that topic

That skill number four: skill number 1 is the use of ctrl+c und number two ctrl+f and number three ctrl+v.

HR's number 3 skill: Look busy, do nothing

Also, The most useless creatures in the office...

Their job is to make sure that you the employee are not a liability, and if so how to cut you from the company with minimal collateral.

@HitWRight Rule 2: You do -not- talk about HR.
Rule 3: No shirts, no shoes.
Rule 4: Only one HR agent at a time, fellas.
Rule 5: If this is your first night at HR, you have to lie.

@cafecortado Salespeople, yargh. I know a sales guy and his top skill is to pretend people are his top priority in life when they're the last. He treats them like disposable goblets of candy.

Conversely, I know a friend who works as a Software Developer and he said he met a Sales executive. He told me: "I could never be someone like that. That's pretending to be someone's best friend while not caring if they're alive or dead. That's selling a piece of dishwasher cloth for the price of a diamond. It's highly unethical".

@sodaTab Yeah, you want to know the scary part? One of them openly admitted to me that they now take real (very expensive!) FBI courses so that they can spot liars.

I'm not surprised since this one time when I was half hiding the truth, the HR agent got aggressive with me and demanded in a verbally aggressive tone that I'd stop hiding the truth. It was 100% like I was a criminal at an interrogation office.

Double. You. Tee. Eff.

@CaptainRant fight club reference, huh? Love it.

@-ANGRY-STUDENT- Tyler Durden agrees.