3
Wisecrack
25d

https://devrant.com/rants/2388734/...

Opengenus talks about how his honesty bit him in his ass and I'd like to expound further on the topic.
You have to remember, honesty is rarely rewarded.

My motto is LLAMF, a powerful tool for success.
Like a buddhist mantra, I chant it every morning as I'm getting out of bed.

If you look around you'll see this wherever you turn your head. On the news? People lying like a mothafuka for their job. People selling something on tv? Billboard? internet? Lying like a mothafuka. People in fancy suits with fancy pieces of cloth tied around their neck to tell you who the master holding their dog leash is? "I did not kill that hooker", "We have to sign the law to know whats in it", "These ratfuck starving terrorhobos huddled inside a cave out in buttfuck nowhere, saudi arabia? They made a nuclear bomb!". Lying..like a mothafuka.

And all of them have careers, or jobs, or some cause, or principles they 'believe' in. Or nation they 'serve'. Or any other justification, any other *excuse*. But really thats all it is.

In this great big universe, you didn't exist for billions, possibly trillions of years, and now you do, for a brief span, and then afterward, you'll cease to exist (maybe, who knows what happens after death?), for more billions or trillions of years.

Put on that scale, no utterance out of your mouth *can* or *will* ever really truly matter. at all.

I say, go nuts for donuts.

Did you know I was almost a billionaire? TRUE STORY.

Did you know I once told a guy in a turtle neck sweater about this great new idea for portable phones. His name was steve jobs. TRUE STORY.

Did you know I cowrote a canticle for leibowitz? TRUE STORY.

Did you know I'm a mothafuking time traveler? TRUE STORY.

Napoleon said "Imagination Rules The World". Of course he also said a bunch of other things, mostly (all) in french. I don't speak french. But why live in ordinary reality when countless others do? Why not live in a world all your own making, and let people believe whatever the hell you tell them? Why not be the most interesting person in the room? Or the most obnoxious, but hey, at least no one can say you didn't try!

Lie to me. You know I love it when you do.

My favorite lie I tell to *myself*, every morning. Like zen. "I'm gonna do something great one day."

And it keeps me going, keeps me high.

Whats your favorite kinda lie?

Comments
  • 2
    I'm a pro and give a damn.
  • 3
    I should lie, but I know I won't.
  • 3
    "It wouldn't hurt, I promise."
  • 0
    Lying makes me feel bad. Really bad. Virtue or fault? Or both?
  • 1
    @monkeyboy

    Conscience is like alcoholism.

    It creeps up on you, and for the same reasons.

    The less you think about it and engage in it, the less it will bother you.

    @Fast-Nop

    "I'm a pro and give a damn."

    Ooo damn, thats a good one!

    @Rutee

    Do you tell that to all your dates senpai?

    @Root

    Thats also the same lie the pope tells himself every morning.

    I know. I *am* the pope.

    But wouldn't it be weird if this were the one true thing posted?
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