47
yakooza
45d

Never google "man" command!
I was looking for "man touch" and the result was "3 Ways to Touch a Guy - wikiHow" :|

Comments
  • 23
    So, did you learn how to touch the man? Don't leave us hanging
  • 6
    Share your wisdom.
  • 5
    @alexbrooklyn, @Creep did you know when you kiss a guy on the cheek, you should let your lips just graze the side of his cheek, and you should not give him a wet, sloppy kiss?
  • 6
    @yakooza What the fuck? Wikihow is so full of shit. When you kiss anyone on the cheek, especially guys, you lick their skin and make "hmmm" noises. It's the only proper way to kiss someone on the cheek, otherwise it's just plain rude and racist. I'm suing that site.
  • 1
    @rutee07 how is that racist? I mean, I do like me some sloppy cheek kisses with hardcore moaning.
  • 2
    @rutee07 Check it out:
    "Touch the inside of the guy's ear with the very tip of your tongue. After you do that, you can gently blow in the guy's ear to drive him crazy." :D
  • 5
    @Creep It disrespects my culture. All kisses should be as sloppy as a handjob + blowjob combo.
  • 3
    @yakooza Hahaha. I was imagining blowing a trumpet in his ears to drive him crazy.
  • 9
    Damnit guys, stop fueling sexual fantasies while we're still in lockdown
  • 1
    @yakooza Depends of the kind of guy.
  • 2
    @alexbrooklyn Hey there, mate
    I see you've been working out, lately... Was that for us or or what?

    *Winks*
  • 4
    @yakooza

    I always find it funny how glossy magazines aimed at women give ridiculous seduction tips.

    "Use your teeth to squeeze his ballsack"

    No. Just... no.

    If you want to treat a man to something he likes... Just ask, you know. Although the answer might be something along the lines of "How's your gag reflex?"
  • 2
    @bittersweet when 50 Shades of Grey was big, I remember there was a Cosmo tip that was to basically "stab your man with a fork."
  • 4
    @sweetnothings

    My top 3 results

    https://linuxjm.osdn.jp/html/...

    https://shutterstock.com/image-phot...

    https://urbandictionary.com/define....

    I guess Google is as confused about me as I am about myself.
  • 1
    @sweetnothings I mostly use DuckDuckGo. At least thats the best excuse! :D
  • 1
  • 3
    @projektaquarius

    I always wonder what would happen if the genders were reversed on that.

    Men's Health issue 983:

    "Tease your girlfriend in to a sexy mood by poking her with a corkscrew"

    "How to pleasure your wife: Never ask for consent, just lick her armpits whenever she comes home from the gym"

    The last time I read a cosmo at the dentist, I honestly felt a bit dirty. Such sexist trash.
  • 1
  • 0
    "gnu man <term>"
  • 2
    @sweetnothings

    Hmm when I search for "cocoa" it gives me a YouTube video for a mocha latte, Minecraft wiki, and OSX development.

    I don't use OSX, but other than that, I guess it does understand me pretty well.
  • 1
    I get an entire page of linux results.
  • 2
    @bittersweet "It can't be sexist if it's about men, duh!"
  • 2
    @sweetnothings Im all for it! Lets make it a campaign! Google common developer terms and share the irrelevant funny results. Of course, don't forget a hashtag so others can find your rant. I personally like #RealWordMistake.
  • 1
    to touch a man is pretty simple...

    1)open the terminal

    2)write touch man

    3)now you have your man

    :D
  • 4
    @Null0x90 Then you can change the degree of its gender by "less man" or "more man" and even have "bat man" :D
  • 3
    Lol. I googled “strip” function in python. Google gave me locations of all the strip clubs in my area.
  • 0
    @srpatil So how was it?
  • 0
    Search "man touch" with quotes then
  • 2
    Don't tell us what you got on "man unzip".
  • 1
    Just do $man man 😂
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