41
yakooza
4y

Never google "man" command!
I was looking for "man touch" and the result was "3 Ways to Touch a Guy - wikiHow" :|

Comments
  • 21
    So, did you learn how to touch the man? Don't leave us hanging
  • 5
    Share your wisdom.
  • 4
    @alexbrooklyn, @Creep did you know when you kiss a guy on the cheek, you should let your lips just graze the side of his cheek, and you should not give him a wet, sloppy kiss?
  • 0
    @rutee07 how is that racist? I mean, I do like me some sloppy cheek kisses with hardcore moaning.
  • 1
    @rutee07 Check it out:
    "Touch the inside of the guy's ear with the very tip of your tongue. After you do that, you can gently blow in the guy's ear to drive him crazy." :D
  • 7
    Damnit guys, stop fueling sexual fantasies while we're still in lockdown
  • 0
    @yakooza Depends of the kind of guy.
  • 0
    @alexbrooklyn Hey there, mate
    I see you've been working out, lately... Was that for us or or what?

    *Winks*
  • 2
    @yakooza

    I always find it funny how glossy magazines aimed at women give ridiculous seduction tips.

    "Use your teeth to squeeze his ballsack"

    No. Just... no.

    If you want to treat a man to something he likes... Just ask, you know. Although the answer might be something along the lines of "How's your gag reflex?"
  • 1
    @bittersweet when 50 Shades of Grey was big, I remember there was a Cosmo tip that was to basically "stab your man with a fork."
  • 4
    @sweetnothings

    My top 3 results

    https://linuxjm.osdn.jp/html/...

    https://shutterstock.com/image-phot...

    https://urbandictionary.com/define....

    I guess Google is as confused about me as I am about myself.
  • 1
    @sweetnothings I mostly use DuckDuckGo. At least thats the best excuse! :D
  • 1
  • 2
    @projektaquarius

    I always wonder what would happen if the genders were reversed on that.

    Men's Health issue 983:

    "Tease your girlfriend in to a sexy mood by poking her with a corkscrew"

    "How to pleasure your wife: Never ask for consent, just lick her armpits whenever she comes home from the gym"

    The last time I read a cosmo at the dentist, I honestly felt a bit dirty. Such sexist trash.
  • 1
  • 0
    "gnu man <term>"
  • 2
    @sweetnothings

    Hmm when I search for "cocoa" it gives me a YouTube video for a mocha latte, Minecraft wiki, and OSX development.

    I don't use OSX, but other than that, I guess it does understand me pretty well.
  • 1
    I get an entire page of linux results.
  • 1
    @bittersweet "It can't be sexist if it's about men, duh!"
  • 1
    @sweetnothings Im all for it! Lets make it a campaign! Google common developer terms and share the irrelevant funny results. Of course, don't forget a hashtag so others can find your rant. I personally like #RealWordMistake.
  • 3
    @Null0x90 Then you can change the degree of its gender by "less man" or "more man" and even have "bat man" :D
  • 1
    Lol. I googled “strip” function in python. Google gave me locations of all the strip clubs in my area.
  • 1
    Don't tell us what you got on "man unzip".
  • 1
    Just do $man man 😂
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