There's this odd thing that I'm experiencing in the moment of falling asleep.
I somehow remain conscious and can feel how the unconscious part of my brain opens a sort of portal to a dream world. I begin to hear sounds and my speed of thinking becomes slower.
That's when I get a panic attack and I am trying it again. After the 2nd or 3rd try, it usually works and I wake up in the next morning as if nothing happened and the cycle repeats again lol

That makes me wonder if a "healthy" way of dying will have this sort of transition as well.

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    sorry to hear that you have panic attacks :(

    I too hear sound when sleeping in. Actually it's exclusivly classical orchesteral music something similiar to Gustav Mahler or Hector Berlioz.
    Which is odd, as i don't listen much classical music. But i enjoy sleeping in like this, it's soothing.

    I think the only thing in life you truely have a say on, is on how to accept your mortality. Everything else ist just noise. Because life is absurd.
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    @heyheni I sometimes think like that, too.
    It sounds terrible, but what really are friends and family in a short lifetime such as this one. Even both of us are kind of unimportant
    We are trying to connect with each other and might even share some happy or sad moments or maybe none at all in the future, but in the end it doesn't really matter once you die. It is great to enjoy life in the present, you can't relive the same moments after death. Or maybe you can, but we don't really know. No dead person ever came back to earth and told us about the afterlife.

    Life is truly enjoyable when we become immortal...
    But does it really? Do you really wanna live forever? Will it not get boring after reliving everything and knowing everything and when there's nothing more to learn left.
    When we become immortal, the rise of the population will not be stopable.

    If exporting your consciousness self into a machine becomes a thing, would you really want to do that?

    All of these things make me panic.
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    Transitioning into bDreaming while awake like this is known as hypnogogia.

    The event sometimes they'll have an event where say, you trip and you jolt awake, these are known as myclonic jerks.

    I get these myself a fair amount, I've never had a doctor be concerned over it honestly.

    This info might be pointless to some but others might like knowing what they're called.
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    maybe you could read some existentialism philosophy helping you to cope better in life. And if you think by any chance that you maybe suffer from depression go see the doc.

    some Søren Kirkegaard and Jean-Paul Sartre those are some great existentialism authors. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
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    we're all just recurring personas that fleet from one existence to the next. not souls. just temporary manifestions that act as a lynchpin or collection of common patterns that recur together, a particular collection of personality traits, describing something akin to a form from platos realm of the ideals, arising from the abyss for a brief while, and then in our time, scattering again, repeating this loop forever.

    in the same way all electrons are manifestations of the underlying physical laws, that they're all "the same".

    or like a ship smashed to pieces and sunk in a storm, sunk to the abyss, and dragged back up now and again by another storm, the gale, against all odds, reassembling all the pieces into a new ship.

    it has all the parts of the old but its something "new".

    we die, or at least our memories. Our persona, our "archetypes" dont. or at least thats what I maybe believe.

    who can know the truth?
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    When I was younger, I've mastered zoning into a dream world while awake or even walking. I can convince myself for a few minutes that I'm not really where I am but somewhere else. I lost it a long time ago. Maybe I'm just a lazy escapist but now I find it hard to sleep.

    What I'm experiencing more often is waking up in the middle of the night with a heavy feeling in my heart. I'm not sure what it is yet. I want to see if it only happens when I eat at a certain amount of time before falling asleep.

    It's hard to fall back to sleep after that and I had to try several times too. Last time, I thought I heard a child scream or the sofa move. I searched it immediately, turns out there was an earthquake. I'm not sure about the rest.
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    @rutee07 thats freaky.

    you wont believe it but my mother dreamt up the major details of the lacey peterson case two weeks before it happened.

    freaked me out when I saw it play out on the news.

    Not the first incident either.

    I would not be able to deal with disembodied screams tho.
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    happens to me too, sometimes. i love the process, because i "make" the best songs during it. but more often it's just being aware of falling asleep as a whole, observing how the conscious thought process slowly transforms into dreams. it's fascinating and soothing to observe for me. why does it cause you panic attacks?
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    @Midnight-shcode because I'm not used to this very slow transition. It used to be like a very short conscious transition where I would hear some sound for a few seconds and fall asleep automatically, but now the transition takes many minutes.
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    @heyheni thanks. Will check them out for sure
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    @Wisecrack what's this type of belief called? Is it scientifically proven? I would like to look it up.
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    @Wisecrack I've had the same thing happening to me. It so happened that I could foresee things in my dream and they would happen in the next week.

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    @-ANGRY-STUDENT- theres probably some physical underlaying laws we haven't discovered or other weirdness but I rather not keep straying into woo, which, when you're a scoundrel like me, is easy to do.

    I suspect it has something to do with the arrow of time not really having a 'direction' in physics. That the laws of physics are as valid running backwards as forward.

    Fuck if I know.
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    try to change your approach then. you've been gifted the unusual oppprtunity that you haven't had before - you can analyze how the process of falling asleep happens, and that's pretty awesome.

    so relax, listen to it, observe it, and enjoy that you are able to do so, because not many people can.

    go to bed with the thought that "i have another opportunity to observe this fascinating brain process of falling asleep!"

    because it is fuckin fascinating. i've been able to observe since ever, and i still don't really understand it. the way how thoughts gradually stop being centralized, which also kind of externalizes them in relation to what is considered" consciousness"...

    i got a thing for you. a talk vy a neuroscientist, talking about when she got a brain aneurysm. her second thought was "wooow, this is so cool, i can observe from inside what i've only been learning about theoretically until now!"

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