Story Time!

Tittle: About Larry.

Fun Game: Tell me if / when in this story you know the plot twist.

Setting: Years ago, non coding job.

I work with Larry a lot, Larry works remote. In technical terms Larry is senior to me and I escalate some technical issues that get assigned to Larry. I've never met Larry in person.

Larry can be hard to work with, but he's plenty good at his job and I don't mind his prickly side. Sometimes it takes telling Larry something a few times before it sinks it, but that's not a big deal. Sometimes it seems like Larry doesn't remember his cases entirely, but he has a lot of cases. Also Larry has good reason for how he works considering the land of scubs who usually escalate to him without any thought / effort.

Larry's escalation team is short staffed and they're trying to hire folks, but that's been like that forever.

So one day I get an email that Larry is going to be out of the office for a few weeks. Nothing unusual there.

My current case that I share with Larry sort of floats in limbo for a while. The customer is kinda slow to respond anyhow and there's nothing that I need Larry for.

Finally I get automated notice that my case has had a new escalation engineer. Laura. Laura is much more positive and happy compared to Larry. Understandably Laura isn't up to date on the case so we go back and forth with some emails and notes in the case.

The case is moving along just fine, we're making progress, but it's slow because of the customer's testing procedures. Then we hit a point where this customer's management pushes on sales for a solution (this customer's management is known for doing this rando like for no reason).

Down the management chain it goes and everyone wants a big conference call to get everyone up to date / discuss next steps (no big deal).

Now I really don't want to do this with Laura and throw her into the deep end with this customer, she doesn't have the background and I'd rather do this call with Larry & Me & Laura. Also according to the original email Larry is due back soon.

I start writing an email to Laura about "Let's try to schedule this for when Larry gets back."

Then I stop ... I don't really know why I stop but when it is a "political case" I want some buy in on next steps from management so I go talk to my manager.

-Plot Twist Incoming-

Long story short, my manager says:

"Laura IS Larry..."




I had no idea. Nobody told me, nobody told ANYBODY, (except a couple managers).

Back up a few months Larry apparently went to his managers and told them he was going to transition, surgery and all, in a few months.

Managers wondering how to address this went to HR and some new hire very young to be a manager HR manager drone logiced out in her bonkers head that "Well it shouldn't matter so don't tell anyone."


Thank god I didn't send that email...

I did send an email to Laura explaining that I had no idea and hoped I didn't say anything stupid. She was very nice about it and said it was all good.

After that incident made the management rounds (management was already fuming about being told not to tell anyone) things came to another critical point.

Laura was going to visit the company HQ. Laura had been there before, as Larry, everyone knew her as Larry... nobody (outside some managers) knew Laura was Larry either. With nobody knowing shit Laura was going to walk in and meet everyone ...

One manager at HQ finally rebelled and held a meeting to tell his people. He didn't want Laura walking in and someone confused, thinking it was a joke or something horrible happening.

HR found out and went ballistic. They were on a rampage about this other manager, they wanted to interview me about how I found out. I told HR to schedule their meeting through my manager (I knew they didn't want my manager to know they were sniffing around).

Finally the VP in our department called up the HR head and asked WTF was going on / kind of idiots they had over there (word has it legal and the CEO were on the call too).

HR had a change in leadership and then a couple weeks later there were department wide meetings on how to handle such situations and etc.

  • 2
    Okay, but who is Leroy then?
  • 4
    @F1973 I should have mentioned that, Laura also asked HR what to do (well Larry did) and was told they "shouldn't have to say anything". Laura at that point differed to her management who was told the same when they asked.

    Laura was never one to rock the boat in that way so she just went with the instructions...

    Thankfully things were addressed by rebellious manager before her visit to HQ.
  • 5

    I'm not an expert in this area at all, but presumably if you're not comfortable with your body / who you've been told you are since you were born.... having that weight lifted must be pretty nice.

    Either way the personality change was noticeable.
  • 0
    @N00bPancakes was just taking the piss mate

    Happy it worked out for him. Erm her. How are her tits like btw?
  • 3
    tldr but anyone with internet in 2020 needs no more than two paragraphs to tell Laura and Larry are going to be the same person.
  • 0

    ONE. Sentence.: Larry cut off his cock and became Laura.
  • 3
    You handled this correctly, I think.

    HR? What were they going to do? Fire anyone who didn’t immediately understand and pretend they saw nothing different for transphobia?
  • 2
    @molaram I think they invert them and turn them into socks inside the body.
  • 1
    Next step is Laury
  • 2
    Imo if your coworker's name changes, you should know that it's the same person. Doesn't matter if it's the first or last name. Am I missing something?
  • 6
    @molaram okay what the heck is wrong with you? Are you ignorant, outright transphobic or you just trying to be funny and failing miserably?

    I have a very low tolerance on any kind of transmisy, and I find that kind of comments unacceptable.

    Also, having some really good friends who've went through the transition process, in all cases their general mood and quality of life has taken a dramatic turn for the better, so I can verify @N00bPancakes statement. So I totally understand how Larry was prickly while Laura was much happier.
  • 3
    Not unusual.

    Most have to take heavy doses of hormone treatment... Psychological stress. Uncomfortable 24/7. Just think about it and connect the dots
  • 1

    It never occurred to me that they were the same person. Larry was supposed to be out of the office ... Laura actually showed up quite soon after Larry left, long before Larry was supposed to return. How that worked out, the time difference in Larry's out of office time and Laura showing up much sooner I'm not sure.

    The last name I think was the same but I don't recall looking at it, it was also a common last name.
  • 1
    @F1973 It would be a fun movie / episode plot. Particularly with the COVID timeline and everyone being remote.

    The whole reason it got out of hand was the remote nature of Laura's job. Otherwise I doubt it would have happened / people would have known more and etc.
  • 0
    @100110111 who pissed in your cornflakes mate?
  • 1
  • 4
    That was indeed a shitshow. they didn't need to tell much, just needed to tell anyone who was in direct contact with Larry to now address her as Laura/She/Her. That would take care of the whole shebang. They could even congratulate her on her transition publicly. (Tho, that depends on if she was okay with this) and by that, they would also make their stance on transphobia known.

    change of pronoun/change of name: That is literally the only thing the people who work with her need to know, not what happened to her private regions.
  • 2
    @NoMad Yeah it really wouldn't have taken much at all.

    HR later overcompensated by having long meetings about it to explain the situation to us.
  • 1
    @N00bPancakes I would have been fired in those meetings. I would have said loudly: "Is this an event?!"
  • 3
    @Demolishun "Is this technically a very late baby shower?"

    "where is the cake?"

    "Are we starting a forest fire in this baby shower too?"

    "should we wear blue or pink?"
  • 2
    @NoMad At this kind of event you bring a pink dildo instead of pink cigars.
  • 2
    @Demolishun we totally should do that! Every trans person, after transition, should have an adult version of a gender reveal party! And then give us cocktails the color of the revealed gender. lol.

    P.S. I got confused between a baby shower and a gender reveal party. oops!
  • 1
    @NoMad what about those who transition to "Other" (i.e. neither female nor male)?
  • 1
    @NoMad cocktails if its a man reveal, pink lady for a woman reveal? I don't drink much so I don't know the names of things.
  • 3
    @Demolishun Someone sort of did call them out at the meting, HR pretty much earned it.

    They straight up angry asked "I thought you told the managers not to tell us about all this!"

    Sadly the one capable HR person was running it and ended it with "Someone told them that. I didn't. It was the wrong thing to tell them to do and we've made some changes to account for that."

    The fact that the HR director and a few others moved on to new opportunities was known by then so that kinda ended that discussion.

    Telling this whole story was actually prompted by an off hand HR comment in another thread (completely unrelated discussion there). It made me remember this story.

    HR gonna HR...
  • 2
    @100110111 Like, how many even do that? trans population is less than 0.7% and those who transform into such identities will be a even smaller group. Like, one in a bijillion or something. either way, let's give them a pass but if they wanna throw dope parties, why not? it's not like they can choose a color that hasn't been already taken anyways. lol.
  • 0
    @100110111 Aren't those called Pat reveals?
  • 4
    @NoMad I would have been all for a "congratulations on the new genitals" office party.

    Free lunch!
  • 1
    @NoMad I have no statistics. Of the transitioned people I personally know, about 45%. But obviously it can only be done where the 3rd gender is legally recognized, and I suppose it's a minority nonetheless
  • 2
    @100110111 I legit have no knowledge about third gender at this point in time, so I'll refrain from making any comments. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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