1 on 1 meetings with manager throughout the year

Manager: You're doing really well! Keep it up!
Me: Cool, thanks!

1 on 1 meetings with my manager a month or two ago

Manager: You're still killing it! I'd really like to see you challenge the status quo since you're the newest on the team. I think we could benefit from fresh perspective.
Me: Ok, cool, I'm starting to feel pretty comfortable so I'll do that.
Me: *starts challenging process, team structure, and company norms in meetings*
Manager: *confused pikachu face*

1 on 1 meetings now, right before performance management

Manager: I really need you to start picking up more important work. You're not performing well relative to others at your level, and I won't be able to represent you well during performance management.
Me: 😐

  • 4
    Well if what you did was telling your manager first in details what would need to be done, showed him how you would implement it and he approved it...

    then when you show it to everyone he is now confused and not open to change, that would be two-faced behaviour and possibly incompetence.

    Hopefully I'm wrong and it's just miscommunication?
  • 8
    shit! that was a trap to test your communication skills. 😔
    start talking to that manager more often, not just formal performance reviews. So that you understand him/her better what's important for them.

    Learn more about how managers think
    The Making of a Manager: What to Do When ... - Amazon.com

    And some people skill books
    How to Win Friends & Influence People: Dale Carnegie ...

    Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition: Robert B ...

    And learn how to sell ideas! That's a skill for life and a recipe for success.
    How to Sell an Idea to Your Boss - Harvard Business Review

    Best of luck!
  • 3
    In my opinion it shouldn't matter. Challenging the status quo shouldn't conveniently omit challenging him or company processes. If he can't deal with constructive feedback in a public setting, he shouldn't be in people leadership.

    That said, I've only made comments in forums where it's expected. i.e. sprint retrospectives, 1 on 1s, and more recently in the routine meeting with my boss's boss (which I think is probably where the retaliation is coming from). My whole team is afraid to speak up about anything because the leadership is toxic, so I've been trying to open a dialogue on things like being pressured to underestimate stories and potentially splitting up our fairly large team to make things easier to manage.
  • 1
    @soggybutter It's really a shame because the manger is right with new hires and fresh views.

    how old are you and how much experience you've got? 🙂
  • 1
    @heyheni it's even more of a shame because there are a couple folks on my team that are experiencing this environment as their introduction to the industry 😞

    I'm 28 with 6 years of experience in tech
  • 1
    @soggybutter Damm! you're in the perfect age for this challenge. Such a shame. But my advice keep learning about business politics. We're human beeings and we all crave for praise.
    Use that knowledge to reach your goals.
  • 1
    @heyheni I'm normally pretty good at navigating politics, this is the first of four employers I've run into this problem 🤷‍♂️
  • 4
    As a manager I hope I have never done this to anyone. I've always tried to be an advocate for my devs and helped them move up and progress. When they came to me with process considerations and improvements, I've more often than not accepted those recommendations and empowered them to make it happen.
  • 1
    I hope your actual answer was something other than 😐
  • 3
    @electrineer I told him I didn't agree and reminded him of the things I'd spent this year working on, but all of those were brushed off as not "big" or "important" enough for my level. I'd take more action, but I have no intention of sticking around much longer, so I'm not sure if it's even worth the headache
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