179
grimtar
4y

7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.

Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.

Fuck.

Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.

Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.

Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.

He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.

And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.

I need a fake rock with a key under it.

Great Sunday.

Comments
  • 23
    Oh my, Alexa really did save you and your dog's ass.
  • 61
    Now consider that any stranger with a crowbar could feasibly break into your house like this.
  • 27
    @alyx this is why IOT scares me
  • 9
    just creat a 2 way verification lock. 1st with fingure and the other with something else of your choice. maybe someday people will create a chromozome verification. until clones are authorised. i wonder if we will ever have the chance to sit down with our clones and talk freely as they would be the onlyone who will understand us truely... you know may be with a cup of café or something and talk about life and stuf, or maybe about something we like. or maybe plan to commit a murder.
  • 9
    @alyx

    To be fair. If they have forced open my window that far I don't see them having any scruples about busting it open more. That same window is big enough for someone to crawl through. So if they got that far they can get in anyway. I didn't because it would involve damaging the window.

    Also. I can put a voice password on my smart lock interaction. Might do that.
  • 10
    "Locked out, and you go to Windows first?" - my thought half way in... time to sleep, I guess. :)
  • 8
    @andersoyvind I guess the OP doesn't have SSH enabled for his house. Lol
  • 4
    @sam0 Humans individuals are the result of experiences and other external factors.
    Your clone would not have your exact same age, experience and education. He would be a complete genetically identical different person.
  • 0
    @forkbomber I think when someone means clone, it's the physics definition they mean. Every subatomic state aligned. It's possible to circumvent the "no cloning" principle by cloning the you from a moment ago, but it is still very hard because Heisenberg bites you in the ass with uncertainty. Still, an "almost-clone" is probably possible.
  • 1
    @andrebreda who know what those smart ass discovers in the future, may be people will learn to creat custom reality where you can make perfect clone... Or may be they will prouve that we are infect existing in a vertuality, in a computer thus with intelligent mathematics we can indeed create perfect clone of your present self may be in a women version and even in vanilla flavor! Wich will not be as same as you but may be better
  • 1
    What lock do you have
  • 0
  • 1
    How much did it cost? I noticed that it works with deadbolt locks, but in Finland the locks are different, we don't have deadbolts that much,
  • 0
    @amahlaka I got it as a daily Alexa deal for 180 USD. 250 normally I think. And yes it replaces the thumb switch side of your deadbolt
  • 3
    When i lived in germany in high school my parents went to poland and my brother and i were locked out. We had the wondows set to where they were opened at the top. You can set them open like a door or open at the top. Got a stick and managed to push window in enough to twist handle woth stick. Window swung open.

    I remember when i learned lockpicking in like 12 hours a few years ago feeling very very unsafe after that with how easy it was to rake a deadbolt and handle lock
  • 2
    You had me after the first sentence. Dont know how many times i've tried this but doggo just doesnt believe it.
  • 0
    Who's Alexa? And why didn't you yell Alexa earlier?
  • 0
    In between "the" and "door", I'd insert any type of profanity 😉😎
  • 0
    I just found out who Alexa is and saw some videos on her bugs ...
  • 0
    This shit is fuckinggggg scary
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