7
NoMad
10d

!dev

1. It's one of those few times in life that listening to Lq's Numb doesn't make me feel less anxious. Or Somewhere I Belong. Either way, anxiety levels are on all time high.

2. I have completely lost appetite. Usually at this point in time I'd go to doctor and ask for Xanax or something similar, to chill for a few days. But covid. I ain't going to any clinic, plus, ain't nobody got time for that.

3. On top of everything, I am also PMSing. The lack of energy, times n. (n>10)

4. Struggling to get out of bed for hours is now a reality.

5. I'm glad ("glad" is exaggeration tho) this will pass in a few weeks. I am hanging on to that hope and experience tells me it will pass. But my feelings are like "nah, we doomed. Let's just run away. Or just sleep until it all passes or we die of starvation."

6. My brain must work for the next few days. If I have to push it by drowning it in sugar, I will. But I'm also obese rn. Well, I guess it's "Hello diabetes!".

7. My hands and feet are cold. Like, freezing cold. Meanwhile, the rest of me is sweating. This sucks. Ngl.

8. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Like, those last stabby stabs moments in a battle where you know you're gonna fall down soon. I know this feeling of doom and gloom is PMS related, but it's there. I have no solution for that aside from nicotine and sugar.

9. I can't even cry. Which is sad.
... Do you see what's happening there? That's the loop I'm in.

Comments
  • 2
    tldr; I got defense coming up in a few weeks.
  • 2
    Gentle hugs, hang on to the thought that it'll pass, you and I both know it will. Also tell me your shoe size so I can knit you socks to warm your feet 🧦 🤭
  • 1
    @Elyz awwww. I wish socks worked. It's bad circulation, mostly. But the size is 39-40 ish, and tell me when I can come and pick them up. 😉
  • 1
    It is hard, and very unpleasant what you are going through, but cherish the thought and the reality that it is almost over. This too, shall pass.

    And if it feels like you're going through hell, keep going (amalgamation from a quote)
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