74

To replace humans with robots, because human beings are complete shit at everything they do.

I am a chemist. My alignment is not lawful good. I've produced lots of drugs. Mostly just drugs against illnesses. Mostly.

But whatever my alignment or contribution to the world as a chemist... Human chemists are just fucking terrible at their job. Not for a lack of trying, biological beings just suck at it.

Suiting up for a biosafety level lab costs time. Meatbags fuck up very often, especially when tired. Humans whine when they get acid in their face, or when they have to pour and inhale carcinogenic substances. They also work imprecisely and inaccurately, even after thousands of hours of training and practice.

Weaklings! Robots are superior!

So I replaced my coworkers with expensive flow chemistry setups with probes and solenoid fluid valves. I replaced others with CUDA simulations.

First at a pharma production & research lab, then at a genetics lab, then at an Industrial R&D lab.

Many were even replaced by Raspberry Pi's with two servos and a PH meter attached, and I broke open second hand Fischer Sci spectrophotometers to attach arduinos with WiFi boards.

The issue was that after every little overzealous weekend project, I made myself less necessary as well.

So I jumped into the infinitely deep shitpool called webdev.

App & web development is kind of comfortable, there's always one more thing to do, but there's no pressure where failure leads to fatalities (I think? Wait... do I still care?).

Super chill, if it weren't for the delusion that making people do "frontend" and "fullstack" labor isn't a gross violation of the Geneva Convention.

Quickly recognizing that I actually don't want to be tortured and suffer from nerve damage caused by VueX or have my organs slowly liquefied by the radiation from some insane transpiling centrifuge, I did what any sane person would do.

Get as far away from the potential frontend blast radius as possible, hide in a concrete bunker.

So I became a data engineer / database admin.

That's where I'm quarantining now, safely hiding from humanity behind a desk, employed to write a MySQL migration or two, setting up Redis sorted sets, adding a field to an Elastic index. That takes care of generating cognac and LSD money.

But honestly.... I actually spend most of my time these days contributing to open source repositories, especially writing & maintaining Rust libraries.

Comments
  • 12
    I don't think I have ever favorited a rant as quickly as I have this one. BRAVO

    oh and I am stealing how you reference web dev.

    Cuz it is a deep shitpool
  • 7
    Sometimes, I wish I could replace my humans too.

    Interesting career path though, I'm impressed!
  • 3
    yeah frontenders are pretty always under fire in the first line. But when you want really to drop a shit-bomb, you drop it on the backend...and underground there is no much you can do to escape...
  • 1
    👌 excellent write-up!

    @AleCx04 took me a while, had to read it till the end and I want more of it.
  • 0
    Nice bio. Will steal.
  • 1
    seems likea lot of frontends are going into microcontroller programming etc, or going into "devops", database, datascience, etc.

    I decided to skip frontend and go straight to DB work.
  • 0
    @Wisecrack There's not much I like about backend JS... But I can't argue with the fact that it shows a lot of frontenders to greener pastures.

    Although devops... Gross. That's even worse. Instead of things like webpack and making Vue work with Typescript, you gotta deal with 27 layers of kubernetes cluster management panels, and instead of npm issues you get to figure out why some apt install within a container is suddenly having some library conflict.
Add Comment