15
thirdworld
188d

I suck with the ladies :( I turned 25 last week and have only dated 1 girl because my retarded ass decided to ignore dating until I have time and my situation is stable and now that I'm old and don't know how to get into a relationship I'm starting to regret my past decisions...

Comments
  • 3
    I feel you so hard on this one!
  • 3
    Dating? We don’t do that here.
  • 11
    Duuuuude.

    First things first: 25 is NOT old. You have your most interesting years waaaay ahead of you, especially when it comes to dating. Most people start a family in their late 30s now, so chillax bro, U got time.

    Also: how does it matter how many people you have been together with? I mean relationships are not collectibles. If you had one, great! It's one more than many others had. If you'd like to get more experience: go for it! There are soooo many interesting people out there. Especially women, whom I consider more interesting than men in general. Don't get stressed there's roughly 70 years of life and billions of people left for you.

    Some friends of mine had some recent success with dating apps. They seem to get less shite over time.

    Finally: From the depth of my heart, all the best for your efforts! May your quest for love be successful :)
  • 2
    @DirtEffect it matters because the first few relationships is where you learn from your mess ups especially when you're younger, it also makes you understand the opposite gender better thus being able to "score" easier.
  • 1
    @thirdworld I mean I am not the greatest expert, but this is not how relationships work.

    If you want to understand "a gender" you may be interested in gender studies or general sociology.

    And what the hell do you want to score? I mean it's not like women pop out a candy if you throw in a coin.
  • 2
    You're probably alright with the ladies. Just get good at communication, and you'll be money.
  • 1
    Lots of good advice already given, but I too have heard a lot of success stories about dating apps. Met my wife on one actually! Just get out there, be assertive about contacting people, and be safe (both with COVID and with meeting strangers). Never meet with anyone in a private location for the first or maybe even second date. Lots of scam artists out there too, so stay alert. I had a great time with online dating....overall.
  • 1
    huhh screw this am 27 still not even thinking of dating heha
  • 1
    Dating sites.

    Badoo / Plenty of Fish, both good for your age, and free to use well enough to make use of.

    You might want to think of some of your early requirements:

    Do you want kids ? ( You might want to consider a vasectomy if you never want kids. )

    Do you want to date anyone with kids ?

    ( Not recommended.. )

    Do you smoke/vap ?

    Do you have a vehicle to travel to dates ?

    Do you need to work on having that athletic body ?

    Do you have enough disposable spending money to afford dating / relationship ? ( $100 a week is probably fine... )

    Remember to get them/you STI tested before sex.
  • 0
    You might also consider carrying some business cards around with you with some contact details on them. ( You might want to consider a throwaway phone number in case you need to change it.. )

    Then if you bump into someone in the real world, you can offer them your card for a date.

    If they say no/etc. another card saved. :-)

    I remember doing that when I was naked on the operating room table awaiting the surgeon to make his first cut, and chatting up the anaesthetist, her first question was "Where was you hiding that card!"..

    She said no, but you never know where you might bump into someone you fancy the look of !

    Be prepared. :-)
  • 1
    Well, you are not alone. That's the only thing I can say
  • 0
    Oh and considering your young age, you might want to ask to see their passport before before a first date, to check they aren't under age.

    And if online, a video call, so you can see they really look like they say they do..

    Also suggest having at least two different methods of contact, so if one fails, you have a fallback, in case you need to cancel/etc.

    When arranging a date, I usually do the following via SMS:

    Text to say I'm leaving my place. ( Get them to do the same. )

    Text when I'm at the agreed meeting location. ( Again get them to do the same. )

    This way, if there is no communication/etc. you know not to turn up, or go home !

    It isn't uncommon to arrange something, and the other person change their mind without telling you..

    This way, you are both saved from wasting time.

    Assuming you trust each other with phone numbers !
  • 0
    Google image search their pictures, or/and Tineye, and if you have name details, google those too to do some early background checks, if they have a digital footprint that is.

    This can help determine if you really want to date them or not, eg. you might discover their YouTube channel and find out they are into some crazy stuff you hate !

    Or that they are really married..

    Or that they aren't who they say they are.. ( Getting them to check something on a website you have control over, so you can harvest their IP address can be useful, same with getting a recent picture via email with its EXIF data intact. (GPS coordinates, most websites scrub such data these days. )

    https://www.exifdata.com

    Ideally you want someone with a nice safe looking digital footprint, with no hidden surprises !

    And if you have a friend, double dating can be safer.
  • 1
    @Nanos Dude what the actual overwhelming clusterfuck?!?
  • 0
    I dated 3 girls and I'm 22 right now.

    Been single for about a year now and believe me, it's not just because you suck with the ladies...
  • 1
  • 4
    @Nanos He wants to get laid and not infiltrate the motherfucking Kremlin.
  • 1
    @DirtEffect thats good advice he gives but i gotta admit crazy fuck best too.
    and best to fuck crazy at *their place then after a week, dump^, rinse and repeat.
    inb4 im a pig, deranged minds think about promiscuity all the time and would have hated you because of being trapped in a relation.
    looking for a normal girl just to satisfy urges: thats being a pig i say
  • 1
    We are individuals.

    Look up the definition of the word.

    Noone is the same.

    I for example wouldn't like relationships at the moment.

    I'm against open relationships and polygamy. A relationship is something that needs time and investment.

    Both things I don't / can't do at the moment.

    The thing is: Many seek a relationship for the sake of having one (or because society / family wants them to have one).

    But if you yourself haven't made up your mind to have one, it's not a relationship but rather a short term / one night stand quickie.

    If you want a relationship, realize that you need to socialize.

    I'm not a fan of dating apps... For many reasons.

    If you had to pick yourself at a store with a true description of your metadata (character / ...) I guess you wouldn't pick yourself either.

    Socializing is a lection about who you are, how others see you and learning what / why someone might think of you in a negative way.

    It doesn't mean that you have to change.

    But there might come a time where you start liking a person and think: ok... Maybe I should start by not doing XY which pissed off everyone so far.

    Then you're on a good way.

    Cause relationship involves compromise. On both sides.
  • 0
    @DirtEffect

    The Kremlin would be easier. :-)
  • 0
    > relationship involves compromise. On both sides.

    I tend to find the other side, never wants to compromise !

    That's usually when the relationship ends..

    You may or may not be informed of this at the time..
  • 0
    Also Tinder can be good if you are in a built up area.

    The more accurate your pictures / profile, the less dates you will get, but the greater the chance of an actual relationship / sex.

    So, if you want to get some practice dates in, be vague with your info, and have your best photoshoot picture library stills / video up.

    If you have a friend who knows how to frame good pictures, it is worth them doing a spread for you.

    A selfie taken in the bathroom mirror with an untidy bathroom in the background is perhaps not the best shot..

    Unless you got super abs. :-)

    I've seen guys get a date/relationship with just a single picture and no text info !

    But that is probably based on project of what the other person thinks you are like based on your single picture..

    If you are standing next to a helicopter on a lawn, then you must be a rich playboy right !

    Is that you on top of that mountain, well you must be fit..
  • 0
    Bro you get another burst of interest around 30 bit probably you're just missing the signals.

    Women send em out all the time. And no its not just me.

    Idont meantime crude but Women are just as horny as us dudes. They just show it less, and are subtler about it.

    Theres three possibilities 1. You're truly unattractive either personality wise or physically. I doubt this because I've known enough women who dated dad bod type guys (and even meant women dating guys who looked about as handsome as hunchbacks).

    2. You're missing the signals

    3. You have confidence issues.

    It shouldnt require massive effort or dedication to attract people.

    Likely its number 2 or 3 which are both fixable.
  • 0
    @Wisecrack I don't think I'm butt ugly but I do have confidence issues since I broke my nose when I was a kid so I'm really self conscious about that but also I feel like as I got closer to that 30 Mark my confidence just plummeted in general.
  • 0
    @thirdworld got it. Need some exposure therapy then. Shall we begin the jabbing and ribbing about your nose?

    Kidding. But seriously, guys get a boost in attractiveness around 30.
    Doesnt help the message in your head but nothing anyone can do about that, just you can.

    Try some harmless flirting. Great ego boost, lots of fun in general, and most women seem to like the attention (or who knows maybe I'm deluded and they just tolerate me as I make an ass out of myself).

    Everyone likes to feel good looking, and lots of people like to make others feel like they look good. So if you dont know how to start, start with compliments.

    Women receive like a 100 a day so it's nothing to them but it means you can get some practice in. Also gives you practice in being honest about what you like and find attractive.
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