Details
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AboutJust a boatgirl historian Discord: Shimakaze#9137
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SkillsPHP, Javascript, HTML, (S)CSS and a little bit of Python and C#.
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LocationWestervoort, The Netherlands
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 4/14/2017
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For those of you that have a blog...
Ever have this moment where you do one relatively minor thing and end up spending the next hour writing a blogpost about it?5 -
Friend asked him if I could test his program.
I help him test his program and found a memory leak.
He investigated the issue...
After a few hours, he found out that his garbage collector had a memory leak :^)6 -
Facebook refuses to load up due to a "long running script".
Would you please fuck off with your "hurr let's do *EVERYTHING* in JS" garbage please?6 -
>"Maybe I should start upgrading to CakePHP4"
>*dependency hell*
>*solves dependency hell after 6 hours*
>"Finally I can get to work"
>*App has broken all over the place due to app not properly showing deprecations beforehand*
"Motherfuckers"2 -
Because PHP is the only language that doesn't make me wanna punch my screen 24/7 (which is gonna get asspensive really quickly)25
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Person: "Why do you run your own server? why not rent a VPS instead of investing 1500 euros in your own server?"
Me: "Do you know how asspensive a VPS with 3TB of storage, 32GB of RAM and 16threads is? You gonna pay that for me?"4 -
Person: *has issues with bots* (probably just stuff like Google's crawler n stuff)
People trying to "help": "Use CloudFlare"
...
...
Could you all please bugger off with CloudFail?6 -
Don't you just love it when something works in your development environment, your staging environment and then randomly breaks on production? :^)6
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Want to bundle your files: Node.
Want to minify your scripts: Node.
Want to tree shake your code: Node.
FUUUUUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOFF I DON'T WANT NODE15 -
Guy on Facebook: *asks a simple question*
Me: *crams an entire bachelors degree into a single comment*5 -
some dickweed changed his MBR to GPT without reading anything about it cus someone (falsely) claimed that GPT was faster.
dickweed lost his data and is whining that he doesn't want to spend even 50 euros to get his data back (but he does want it back)...5 -
Mail provider: "You are over your storage quota"
Me: "K, guess I'll clean up the junk I have on there then?"
Mail provider: "We also block IMAP connections for accounts over the storage quota"
>.>5 -
"We have a nice documentation you can use to get this up and running"
>half the bloody variables used in said documentation are never even mentioned how they are defined
Nice. -
Guy who have talked down on me for being a "shit webdeveloper who doesn't know what he does" suddenly came to ask me whether I could help optimizing his "company" (just one of those "I just say it's a company to look cool") website :^)1
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This was actually written by a Junior of mine (and if it wasn't for me having to review it, it would have made it to production):
- Admi password was just an MD5 in the javascript.
- Javascript would validate the password input.
- Javascript would then send a POST request to a PHP script.
- On display, the HTML of the news article wasn't HTML escaped.
My brain: "Let's just send this XSS vector to this PHP script"4 -
Send an open-solicitation to a company for a medior PHP back-end developer.
Got rejected because "I do web development"...
Bitch, I'm writing an entire CMS in PHP, write entire DNS servers in PHP, write Discord bots in PHP, wrote an entire gameserver in PHP and you're gonna whine to me that "I do web development" because I also know front-end stuff?5