!dev

So after 5 months of complaining and ISP denying that the modem was at fault for the issues ("because they'd get more complaints if it was") while trying to rip us off as well[1], they finally gave in to sending us one of the modems "intended for their business users"[2].

Low and behold... I haven't had any issues yet in the past few days (as opposed to having issues between 3 and 8 times a day).
Nah lads, surely wasn't the piece of shit old modem that is known to have a severe design flaw right? :^)
Must have been my router and devices behind it right? :^)

References:
1: https://devrant.com/rants/4378988/...
2: https://devrant.com/rants/4399477/...

Internal monitoring dashboard that was made in PHP4 that was really slow (even for PHP4 standards) due to doing a lot of unnecessary things.
Fully uncommented, fully undocumented elsewhere, massive fustercluck of code.
Had to change at least 300 methods in order to make is somewhat run decent (sadly, I wasn't allowed to just rewrite from scratch, which would have been a lot faster)...

Just your regular SNAFU.

Modem issues kept going on.
Started complaining to them again and requesting they send one of their proper modems.
Service: "Unfortunately it is not possible to request a different modem"
Me (tho *slightly* more polite): "I don't care, you guys caused this issue by sending us a shitty modem, so you guys are now to send me a proper modem, period. I'm done with having unstable internet because <ISP> doesn't want to admit their modems are flawed by design and deliver proper ones."
Service: "I have good news! We can swap out your modem for the one you requested"

Sometimes, you just have to bitch hard enough.

!dev

Last year, we got a new DOCSIS modem from our ISP (Puma6-chipset, nuff said, not allowed to replace it with a proper one).
With this replacement modem came a splitter (to split internet signals from TV signals), keep this in mind for later.
It worked alright for a while, but fast forward to last Januari, our internet started acting up because the modem kept randomly rebooting.

So we had 3 maintenance workers come by already.
The first one replaced the wallplug.
The second one replaced the wallplug, saying that the previous maintenance worker did a shit job.
The third one replaced the splitter.

Now, later that evening, we got an email... stating that the costs would be 50 euro...
Ehm... what?

So I went to contact their customer servers and they said "but the splitter is part of the indoor installation. So if this splitter causes a malfunction, the maintenance worker will charge you for the visit".

So these fucking assholes give me a defective splitter and charge us to have it replaced?
They can suck my big black.

Still going on with the dispute now because that is some top level bullshit.
"What if it wasn't the fault of the splitter? Am I gonna get my money back?"

Basically any meeting where "the big bald" (a.k.a our manager) was present...
It always started professional and alright but it often took only around 5 minutes before the asshat started bragging about "his past accomplishments", his life when he was younger and often a lot of shit that wasn't exactly respectful to women...

I'm not an SJW, nor am I the most "female-friendly" person out there myself...
But the things he said repeatedly, made me come really close just punching him in the face.

Best tool: The one that has proper documentation.
Worst tool: The one that doesn't have proper documentation.

God, so much times did I have to waste time trying to read the source code myself, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on because the developer didn't take 2 seconds to document what I had to do...
Or commands that I had to use that exist but I only found out about because I read the source code :|

My "programming" college...
Where I had to basically "unlearn" everything I knew about efficiency, organization and security in order to please my teacher...

All the knowledge about every language in existence.

Just imagine never having your questions downvoted on SO because you never have to ask questions anymore <3

Got laid off my by old employer back in 2019 because they have their priorities completely wrong.
Got a mail today whether I could fix something for them (ofc, they wanted me to do it essentially for free).
One of the websites I built for a customer back when I still worked there had a massive bug (that I was aware off and patched in later versions of the library causing it).
They never updated it so, I told them "just update the library".

Apparently, the idiot that was in charge of maintaining said site after I left didn't know how to and completely broke everything.
The hilarious part: While I setup everything using stuff like Docker and Git to make rollbacks easy...
That idiot went back to FTP and manually upgrading the databases through PhpMyAdmin :^)
He nuked the entire site.
Database? Gone.
Codebase? Borked (installed a version with a lot of breaking changes without properly reading the migration guide).
And knowing that shit company, they don't have any backups either.

They said "I wasn't needed because we have other good devs" when they laid me off.
Uhu, I can eh... see those good devs doing their job :^)

If I wasn't rejected for being mentally unfit, I'd have joined the Navy probably.
But I got rejected so I focussed more on dev.

Alternatively, I'd probably try to become a pro gamer buuut I gave up my shot for doing so to become a dev instead (and yes, I *actually* had a shot at becoming a pro gamer during my teens if I pushed through)

Webhost (that I basically only use for email) decided to get rid of all plans they had in favour of 1 big "unlimited" (with FUP ofc) plan...
I used to pay about 3,65 a year (incl. VAT) for my plan (which had about 1250MB of storage) which was totally fine...
Good enough storage for mails.

The new plan costs me 55 euro a year (incl. VAT) and has that "unlimited" storage...
Which I don't need for a fucking mail server...
And they don't allow me to go back to my old plan >.>

Literally the only reason why I went with them 7 years ago was because they were so cheap (back when they also still hosted my website) and perfectly fit my needs >.>
Way to shoot your longest time customers in the back.

Well, time to look for an alternative T_T

Realizing that I have to refill my waterbottle

Ok, which idiot at jetBrains thought it was a good idea to have "CRTL + Y" be a "cut line" (instead of redo) and "CRTL + SHIFT + F6" be "rename" (instead of just simply "F2")...

And also, which idiot thought it was a good idea to not allow us to properly change it (doing so will result in the right shortcuts doing nothing at all)...

Fuck you and your "Adobe-style" shortcuts.

Minor edit: Some idiot decided that it'd be a good idea to *only* have a custom rename shortcut work *if* I already grabbed my mouse, right-clicked the file/folder and hover refactor...
Might as fucking well continue my mouse-movement and click "rename" you fucking morons.

>Me: *wants to do something in plain JS*
>Idiots on SO: "Here, have a jQuery solution"

How about fuck off with your jQuery?

Spend past 2 days trying to hunt down a bug...
I forgot `0` evaluates as `false` so this statement always returned `false` if `id` was `0` >.>

!dev

My neighbours have so many fucking IoT devices that they basically fuck over the entire 2.4GHz spectrum over here just by themselves...
Thanks for that you cuntbags.

Found a little magazine when I was 12 which talked about HTML.
Then later, a friend talked about VBS and VB.NET and I just started making prank shit in that...
Then later back to making websites and basically just grew from there really...

Only followed a formal education on programming once... Which I got kicked out off because I ended my first year with a splendid 2 (that 1 point for adequate attendance).
The fun part? I failed because I was too good :^)
All my grades where a 1 or a 2 because my code was made using tools and libraries that they didn't want me to touch or even know about until 3rd of 4th year...
So yea, I failed everything with the reason being: "Not according to the exercise".

Another fun part: We had to make a personal blog in the 1st year using the techniques we had learned.
Sites were published on a *public* server...
Someone hacked all sites... except mine :^)

Friend's site, mail verification, nextcloud etc. all went down...
Checked all his servers, all his configs and what not... Just to realize the moron forgot to pay his bills (so his domain expired)...

>Having an issue.
>Looking it up on SO.
>Finding your own post with the same issue from 5 years ago.
>"Thanks past me"

>has idea for project (creating a watchface for my watch)
>downloads SDK
>finds out only Eclipse is supported
>Tries to go the CLI way
>Can't find a way to setup a new project without Eclipse
>Finds a boilerplate
>Gets random unexplainable, undocumented errors
>"Well, guess that's another idea that will not workout due to the incompetency of others"

!dev

ISP: "We are going to give you this piece of garbage Puma6 modem that will cause your internet to randomly die because we want to save a few bucks instead of actually having it function properly"
Me: "Can I replace it with my own?"
ISP: "No?"

I love not having fibre.
So either I shoot myself in the foot by going to another ISP (meaning I'll get *at best* 1/5th of the speed, while my current speed already is a severe bottleneck) or I have to keep content with this fucking piece of garbage internet that decides to commit sudoku over nothing...

Websites that still for w/e reason limit the number of characters a password can have...

Seriously, when a website starts bitching about me entering a 32-character password generated by my password manager "being too long", I seriously start to wonder how they store the password...

!dev

>Send a mail to a company making sure the version of a keyboard I'd be getting was hotswappable.
>Support told me that indeed, I'd be getting the hotswap version.
>Places order
>Keyboard comes in
>...
>It's not the hotswappable version >:(

motherfuckers...

>sitting in dark room
>working in some dark-theme apps
>opens new site
>site defaults to light-theme (if they even have a dark-theme?)
>eyes burn
>"It's fine, I didn't need those anyways"

>coding with music
>best part of the song hits
>best part of the song ends
>my code now consists of the lyrics of the song
>"Crap"

For those of you that have a blog...
Ever have this moment where you do one relatively minor thing and end up spending the next hour writing a blogpost about it?

Friend asked him if I could test his program.
I help him test his program and found a memory leak.
He investigated the issue...
After a few hours, he found out that his garbage collector had a memory leak :^)

Facebook refuses to load up due to a "long running script".
Would you please fuck off with your "hurr let's do *EVERYTHING* in JS" garbage please?

Experiment with new stuff, look into the deeper aspects of what I'm doing etc.

>"Maybe I should start upgrading to CakePHP4"
>*dependency hell*
>*solves dependency hell after 6 hours*
>"Finally I can get to work"
>*App has broken all over the place due to app not properly showing deprecations beforehand*
"Motherfuckers"