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Dev: This is the first version of this new app, we’re still experimenting with how it’s going to work but initial headway is looking promising. It cost very little to make, came together very quickly and is already resulting in productivity increases for users. We’re just doing a bit of code cleanup now and we’ll make a move on the next iteration.

Corporate IT: This project is being completely mishandled! In order to successfully build an app you have to determine every single requirement beforehand! It takes millions upon millions of dollars due to the complex system of governance and approval that needs to exist. Massive numbers of stakeholders need to be involved and coordinated to even make so much as a login screen! I bet your project doesn’t even have a documented list of core values.

Dev: Has you ever successfully built an app using that methodology?

Corporate IT: 😡 That’s a loaded question. I went to school to study project management and have over 25 years of experience in the field. If you had the training and experience I do you would know that tech projects are naturally very volatile and there’s nothing you can do about that!

Dev: …

Comments
  • 26
    Interpretation: no they have never finished a project :P
  • 6
    "Really? 25 years and you've never completed any projects you've had a hand on? That's quite the track record!"

    Some companies actually want to find "business expenses" and burn money but this is something else entirely.
  • 6
    Those who can dev, dev. Those who can't manage.
  • 5
    I know you want to be anonymous, but I feel like there should be a list this company goes on to warn other potential employees to steer clear.
  • 0
    Oh come one, you're making those up. You have a life time of shit happened to you. Multiple life times.
  • 5
    @TheCommoner282 A lot of what I share is are not recent occurrences. It’s a collection of 5 years of events, sorry if it comes across as if this is happening day by day, it is definitely not. I mistakenly wrote “have you ever”, it should be “have you recently”, this person has been successful in the past but this company is suffering from too many dinosaurs like this in charge who are really tripping over their shoelaces due to lack of ability to adapt. But things keep chugging along since most of the revenue streams are highly automated. It’s family owned hence the lack of typical degrees of accountability found elsewhere, I have never once heard of anyone getting fired here unless they directly insubordinated or did something illegal. Without accountability beyond that you get what is essentially a long form version of the Stanford prison experiment.
  • 5
    As amusing as this is it's also kinda scary.

    Imagine having been educated and trained within the Waterfall model - and now "some rookie with a hack project think they know better".

    Maybe there will be another paradigm shift and we'll become just as antiquated and dogmatically dumb as these people.

    Me in 2030: "In my day we did things a certain way, we called it agile"
    Newcomer in 2030: "LOOOL! You're the laughing stock of the industry. Everyone uses [[new thing which you are skeptical of]] now"
  • 1
    @jiraTicket As long as we all keep an open mind and continuously learn I doubt that’ll happen. It’s not like Agile came out of nowhere yesterday
  • 1
    This is pretty much what is goin' on in one of my Project Management module at my Uni. Atleast the mentor isn't full of shit and actually does a good job explainig how to document and handle shit.
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