Manager: How come the intern does way more tickets than you?

Dev: Because you told me to only give him the easy ones since he either can’t do them otherwise or takes too long on the hard ones

Manager: Well how is he going to learn if we only give him easy ones?

Dev: That’s what I told you when you orig—

Manager: Assign him ALL of the hard tickets on your board immediately!

*Tickets closed per day drops significantly*


Dev: …

  • 23
  • 28
    I really don't understand that why these managers act like stupid and fucktard. They act as if they don't know anything what's happening in the company and just want to listen successful answers from devs.
    Fuck 'em 🤬🤬🤬
  • 13
    You probably should record such conversations next time and replay to the fucktard while maintaining a poker face
  • 5
    @okay that's called offloading 😎
  • 10
    Don't blame bad managers...
    Blame the bosses who hired them.
  • 3
    I start to think that you only stay at this company to get the stories for this garbage collection rants…
  • 4
    @dder guilty as charged
  • 6
    @GyroGearloose I blame the bosses who hired the boss who hired the boss who hired my boss.

    This is an enterprise after all.
  • 3
    Enterprise? You really should be using a BossFactory then
  • 2
    @boostedanimal We did but nobody knows how to turn it off. I fear one day I too may succumb to BossFactory
  • 1
    and around the circle of corporate life we go
  • 2
    glad I have a nice manager
  • 1
    Initial reaction "How about ranking the tickets based on difficulty so that it becomes clear the hard ones will take longer"

    But on second thought you should avoid that as it often leads to Estimation Hell.
  • 4
    @boombodies Hey, i agree that the manager should be kicked in the balls for this but you are also part of the problem. Stand up for the new guy. One day he is super happy and excited to complete 5 tickets in a day and next day he hits a wall with 0. Dont let his shit be passed over.
  • 6
    @boombodies What i prefer in such scenarios is i pair program with the guy over a hard ticket. Or give him a mix of 4 easy and 1 hard ticket and allow him to complete only 1 easy per day and then switch back to the hard one.
  • 5
    Who the fuck cares about tickets closed per day is high or not.

    Is the customers satisfied? That's what matters.
  • 3
    This has made me think how the number of tickets affects us psychologically.

    I think it's hard to get away from that instinctively a large amount of small tickets feels heavier than a low amount if huge tickets.

    Perhaps it's due to every card in jira being equally sized regardless of scope...

    And I also realise when we have planning meetings every ticket is given a certain level of attention. Which is silly when some tickets took 5 minutes to develop and others take 5 weeks.

    And this isn't just managers. Within my dev team people if we have many open PR:s people start talking about "we need to spend more time on reviews"..even if they are tiny and simple. When we have a low amount of huge PR:s there's less urgency.
  • 3
    @jiraTicket ohe huge ticket feels daunting as well. A ticket that lasts more than a week is too much.
  • 1
    Your manager is exhibiting Kafkaesque behavior. The manager is a combination of crazy, moronic, and psychopathic. Hope you can fire 🔥 that individual.
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