Learn More
Resend Email
7
NoMad
3y

!dev

There are two weeks left until the PhD application results are published. But I'm having such awful nervous breakdowns. I don't even know, if it's anxiety or if I'm literally dying inside from something else. From an almost-heart-attack today when I got a trivial and unrelated bad-news email, to keep having weird dreams about things like end of the world and post-apocalyptic life, or being jumpy all the time.

... And it's not like it's life or death, I know that. I know that I can do other things if this doesn't stick. I know things will workout the way they should; I know all of those. But there's just something destroying my physical and mental health right now, and I don't even know if it's just the anxiety for the next big step in my career, or something else, or how I should deal with it.

... Anyways, amannoyed.

rant

mental health

!dev

anxiety is killing me
Favorite
Ranter
Comments
  • 0
    3y
    Last time I was nearly this anxious, was when I was waiting for college results.
  • 2
    3y
    it’s because you’re not drawing those god damn comics
  • 1
    3y
    @vane it's going very slowly and honestly I don't have much nerves for sitting down and practicing drawing most days.
  • 0
    3y
    @-red would be great, except I'm still broke. Can't afford travel.
  • 0
    3y
    @-red not really. They haven't even sent a rejection letter yet.
  • 0
    23h
    Honestly, what you’re feeling makes sense. Waiting for a life-changing result, like a PhD, can make even small things feel huge. When you’re on edge, your brain treats everyday stress like danger, making an email or a thought feel like a threat. The dreams and jumpiness are just ways your mind tries to make sense of uncertainty. You’re not weak, you’re human. Sometimes anxiety connects with neurodivergence, where brains work differently, not wrongly. Understanding this can help. Here’s a helpful insight: https://aboutboulder.com/blog/...
  • 0
    11h
    @Maximillian I do have ADHD traits, but I have a hypothesis that cptsd can cause adhd traits. (There's research showing trauma can create autistic traits. None on adhd tho)
    And in this regard, I wish I could find proper therapy. But when you grow up with 3 different cultures and migrate into a 4th one alone, you can't really find a therapist that fits.
Related Rants
devRant © 2021 Hexical Labs LLC
Privacy Policy  |  Terms of Service
Add Comment