32
NoMad
337d

!dev

Fuck Deutsche Bahn in the arse with multiple cacti. A country that is proud of its railway, cannot actually fucking manage to get one fucking train moving on fucking time.

Have I ever arrived anywhere on time? Fuck no! Deutsche bahn can promise to get you there, but never actually manage to get you there! Fuuuuuuuuck!

Comments
  • 22
    Germany proud of its railway?! As if...!

    Fun fact: if a train gets cancelled completely, it won't enter the delay statistics.
  • 3
    *laughs in uk*
  • 2
  • 4
    Deutsche bahn is the kind of sucker that can't actually get anyone to finish in bed, and is surprised that its partners are already fucking the French or the Brits. ffs.
  • 9
    It would probably be faster if I just go to Netherlands by foot and get a train back to Hamburg. Fuuuuuuck
  • 11
    Looking at the investment in railway per inhabitant and year, Switzerland with its superb railway spends 413 EUR, Austria 213 EUR, Germany 124. That's data from 2021, and before that, Germany only spent 88 EUR.

    Means, the German railway is a run-down piece of shit, and that was a consequence of trying to make the railway fit for privatisation on the stock market in the 2000s - while ignoring the cautionary story from the UK's railway.
  • 4
    @Fast-Nop but - think of the short term profits some money-hungry investors got to have! are the rules of acquisition a joke to you?
  • 2
    @tosensei The whole thing fell already apart before that, IIRC in the financial crisis of 2008, and while the German railway did transition into a stock company, it's the federal state that owns 100% of the shares.
  • 4
    @Fast-Nop which basically means: the worst of both worlds combined?
  • 5
    Deutsche Bahn could serve as an analogy for technical debt and single point of failure, like they often announce that train B is delayed to a delay of train A running (or rather not running) on the same track.
  • 3
    I don't know in Germany, but in Spain at least, if any train is delayed more than 30 mins, you get a 50% refund, up to a full refund if the delay gets to 1 hour.
  • 0
    @NoMad only DB managers are proud of this organisation. train crews optional.

    the only case, that marks an exception on my end is, when there is a steam powered locomotive included.
    but these exceptions are so damn fucking rare, that you will have more luck with the Pressnitztalbahn.
  • 5
    @CoreFusionX In Germany, it's 25% after 60 minutes and 50% after 120 minutes.

    From 7th June onwards and as per the EU, there will be no refund anymore if the reason is out of the railway's scope, such as extreme weather or train suicide. Union strikes however remain within the railway's scope.
  • 1
    @Fast-Nop

    Well, here if it's cause majeure you don't get a refund either.

    That said, I have only experienced a serious railway delay only once in my lifetime.
  • 5
    Deutschland hat keine Mafia, dafür Vetternwirtschaft....

    Germany has no mafia, but nepotism.

    Public Transport is always a great way to stuff (failed) ex politicians or their family members in management roles..

    Transition in a stock company made it just easier.

    If one would reduce the obscene amount of subcompanies etc and all the management of it... Now then might be money left to not only do the most urgent fixes, but instead repair stuff and modernize it... Cause some of the technology used in railroads stems back 50 years plus and is literally irreplaceable, as there are just no spare parts for it.

    Like some of our motorway bridges which only hold together because they've got a lot of paint jobs in 100 years plus. It's literally paint holding together infrastructure.
  • 2
    @NoMad yeah, I've had a delay of 2 hours on an 8 hour trip. Fuck them with a rusty pickaxe.
  • 0
    wait we're proud of our railway?
  • 0
    @LotsOfCaffeine I thought it was satire.
  • 2
    @LotsOfCaffeine yeah idk. Some seem to be. "you can go anywhere with trains here" I was told. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • 2
    Huh.. And I always thought that the famous bahn is for cars/motorcycles only. Never figured it could be related to railway.

    Thanks to Cobra 11
  • 4
    @NoMad I guess you can go anywhere, just never on time
  • 4
    Sänk ju for trafeling wis Deutsche Bahn!
  • 5
    Diese Fahrt endet hier.

    This fart ends here.
  • 1
    Dude, in my country there are jokes about being slow as a snail but still at least twice faster than our trains.

    I get to certain town after around 6 hours by driving a car (respecting the speed limits etc.).

    By train its 26 hours, direct line! What a joke! They are so fast that they should pay me to actually use their service!
  • 1
    And yet again, three trams have been cancelled on the same route, without any apologies or explanation. Or any refund for that matter. Or any alternatives.

    I can attest that German public services are the absolute worst at customer service. 💩
  • 1
    @PonySlaystation hah! I can top that. I once had a 3 hour delay on an hour and half trip!
  • 1
    Tempted to throw the sauerkraut I just bought at the next driver's window. Hoping it stinks forever. 🤬
  • 1
  • 0
  • 2
    I was on my way from DK to Deutschland. After they checked my passport in the train, we figured out we have a big delay. Therefore we had 2 minutes to switch in Munchen to the next destination.

    Conductor was all like "this is how we do it in Germany"
  • 3
    Also Deutsche Bahn:

    - incentive people to buy BahnCard memberships

    - send invoice by mail

    - send dunning letter by post

    - add overdue fines

    - pay millions €€€ bonus to their top managers

    - while trains are delayed, damaged, or not running at all

    - pass their claims to third-pary billing collection company

    - make it hard and confusing to reach the proper person in charge on the phone

    - hear them tell you there is nothing they can do to prevent extra payments

    - take a car next time (or use FlixTrain if you're lucky they're operating your line

    Meanwhile every boomer in Germany: let's elect Christian Democrats, they will help us prevent traffic transition and stop those leftist ecologist hippies getting from A to B without using our Autobahn motorways!
  • 1
    @fraktalisman that famous german bureaucracy we all know and love.

    They took everything about the tiny mustache man, said "we don't want anything to do with that", and promptly threw out efficient train scheduling.

    I mean of course they did.
  • 1
    @Wisecrack bullshit. I know for a fact they have AI scheduling techniques. (Friend of mine works on them)
    It's just that Deutsche Bahn is a scamming company and doesn't want to use those, pay for new trains, get their staff's shit together(better salary, throw out inefficient ones, train many new ones) or lower the upper management and their friend's paychecks.

    But you wouldn't know that. You guys couldn't even get your trains running to have more scams in that field too like your auto or petrol industries.
  • 2
    @NoMad I think a large part of the problem of the Deutsche Bahn is the failed attempt of privatisation.

    I say failed because they made a mess even messier.

    It's easy to blame Deutsche Bahn for everything...

    But I think a large part can be attributed to inefficiencies due to German federalism and Germany's bureaucracy.

    Plus the nepotism and having an abundance of politicians or their relatives sitting in unnecessary management positions and wasting money.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

    The Bahn is actually a jungle of subsidiaries... IMHO a large part of the subsidiaries are completely unnecessary and exist solely due to federalism or "we need to pay some more management positions".

    Not happy with Deutsche Bahn either... But a thing that strikes me always is the simplification of the problem...

    It's not a "single company". It's a ton of subsidiaries.
  • 2
    @IntrusionCM I've seen regional buses and trains sometimes work better. Regional trains in specific parts of western Germany (which is the part I've traveled and seen most) even manage to run on time up until ICE and EC train schedules mess with theirs. So yeah, it seems DBahn management is the issue.

    Nepotism, sure. But also, when you privatize, you gotta oversee the biggest ones to avoid monopoly. Which is exactly what is missing in case of both DBahn and Lufthansa. And both of them are inefficient as fuck. It would be much better if the two were managed by the government to provide the "basic necessity" line of service, and others could provide additional/luxury/better services.

    Plus, this way those streams of available subservices would be available to other companies who try to "do better".
    (Does this make sense? Idk, early morning and my blood pressure is annoyingly low today. My brain is half functional. Sorry!)
  • 1
    Actually, I just recalled that the local tram system nearby is not DBahn and it is efficient, most of the time, except a burst pipe made them all die for like 2 months. Fuckers 🤬
  • 2
    Had the pleasure to sightsee Düsseldorf Hbf for an hour... Both ways because 20+ fucking minutes for a transfer is apparently not enough
  • 2
    @Tonnoman I wasted hours of my life at that place when commuting, before work from home became a possibility. Düsseldorf main station is boring, but across the road there's the public library , now open on Sundays as well, in its new location with nice view from the top floors of a former freight post building, and their "Xafé" has become popular as an unofficial coworking café. I don't live in Düsseldorf anymore, but that would be one of my recommendations next time you're stuck at the station.
  • 1
    @fraktalisman oh that's good to know, I don't commute through there but for any travels into Germany I probably do have to pass it, I'll check it out!
  • 0
    Just sitting in a train (Germany) while reading your rant. Meanwhile on the speakers: "we're arriving our next stop, we're 5 minutes early".. 😅 but agree, not a common situation
  • 1
    @foox probably just the pa system being broken 😆
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