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hawkes
6y

Holy fucking cockgoblin!

If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".

Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.

I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!

rant

interview

why?

why me
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Comments
  • 3
    6y
    Oh wow.
    What language does the shitgoblin "love and use all the time"?
  • 8
    6y
    These were the interview questions, by the way:

    1. Write a function that returns the double of its input ( 2 => 4, 15 => 30, ...)

    2. Write a function that duplicates an array ( ["a", "b"] => ["a", "b", "a", "b"] )

    3. find the position of "c" in "abcdefgh" programatically

    TWO FUCKING HOURS
  • 3
    6y
    Umm what was the job again? Interviewers don’t ask this easy questions right? 🤔😲😲
  • 4
    6y
    @Electrux it's just dropout questions to spot applicants who bullshit us.

    An interview for a senior position doesn't usually stop there :p
  • 1
    6y
    @hawkes do tell me what’s the top level questions u guys ask? If u can ofc 🤗🤗
  • 3
    6y
    @Skayo JavaScript, but you should be able to do this in any language in which you apply for a job.
  • 4
    6y
    No fizzbuzz ☚ī¸
  • 6
    6y
    1.
    function doubleInput($x) {
    return $x*2;
    }

    2.
    function duplicateValues($arr) {
    return array_merge($arr, $arr);
    }

    3.
    $str = "abcdefgh";
    $posOfC = strpos($str, "c");

    Do I have the job?
  • 1
    6y
    @hawkes
    That's your senior questions, well okay.
  • 2
    6y
    @Froot High five, I got the fizzbuzz too!
  • 0
    6y
    I was about to say... May as well apply for senior jobs then lol.
  • 6
    6y
    I've had a similar experience last month, interviewing applicants for the student associations I'm in - we build planes and rockets btw. I'm the current chief of the propulsion department.

    I've met way too many people - even ones *further ahead than me with their studies* - who couldn't even answer some basic fucking questions (like "How do you calculate the outer surface of a cylinder?"), let alone any propulsion-related stuff.
    And I'm supposed to let them in and let them play with explosives, chemicals, and design hybrid rockets?
    Fuck right off
  • 2
    6y
    @endor
    When was the last time someone told you your company sounds awesome?

    It's the rocket part, I think it's the rocket part. It's a code word for magic.
  • 0
    6y
    @CWins it's not even a company, it's a student association within my university :P

    And yes, it's fucking awesome!! :D
  • 0
    6y
    Also, thank you! :D
  • 1
    6y
    That's not a shitgoblin. That's one of those bugs you found in cow poop.
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