"I don't want to offend you but well clearly you're not an artist. "

From the client i tell repeatedly "Web design is not my strong point so if there is a design you want we should bring on a designer"

And actually i was an artist. But i didn't like all the subjective criticism. Criticise my code when it doesn't work. I didn't ever sell you Web design

Sitting next to my friend's client listening to her bitch. "I asked him to build me a website. I don't have the time to tell him what to put on it."

I interject. "You are tattoo artist. Don't you have a portfolio?"

She replies "Yeah. Can't he do that?!"

It's really my fault for expecting a clear and decisive description of the product. Just like it's my fault for expecting someone to follow my clear and decisive instructions.