In reference to https://devrant.com/rants/2340071/...

I feel like the elf on the shelf.

Maybe I need more elfpussy at work.

I mean, while at santas workshop. These workplace benefit man, just aren't cutting it.

Ms. Claus just ain't doing it for me no more.

Half chub is best I can do. Fedex won't ship little blue pills to the north pole this time of year. Doctor won't prescribe any more either. Says "you have a problem john."

No shit doc! I ran out of my god damn dick pills and have to code my little elf fingers off in order to make MurderSimulator 9, VA-Denied-My-PTSD Claim DLC Game of the Year edition for Santa's evil subsidiary, Activision.

Chinese sweat shops got nothing on north pole gulag elf slave farms!

Happy Holidays!