Node is without a doubt the ultimate clusterfuck.

Manager: I read an article today

Dev: oh here we go….

Manager: We must pivot to only functional programming, which means only using functions instead of classes

Dev: Actually functional programming is a bit more nuanced tha—

Manager: Any use of classes going forward is not allowed. Everything must use functions! Classes are an outdated way of programming, using classes is why we continue to miss our deadlines. Functional programming is lean, classes are waterfall.

Dev: What about the libraries we use? Many of those use classes

Manager: Wrap them in a function then, that way they are pure which is one of the requirements of functional programming. You would know that if you spent as much personal time as I do keeping up with the times.

Monday morning and Microsoft goes down across the board

No office
No teams
No SharePoint
No azure
Not any fucking thing.

Well done ass hats, not like I had anything to do today 😓

I know by heart that "premature optimization is the root of all evil" but not when I'm coding, no! I premature optimize the shit out of my code until I get crippled down and then I undo everything and make a working version no matter how terrible it is.

What would you create if money isn't an issue?

Be me

Need to fetch data from a website for project I'm working on

Look for an API with no luck

Spend 2 weeks developing a ridiculously overengineered and slow webscraping program with Selenium

Find an API

Fuck this

HR is a dead role in modern tech recruitment. You can pay programmers to do tech interviews and the rest is already automatable. Nobody needs large swarms of cubicle fucks sitting around all day poring through resumes they don’t understand pretending to add value.

Change my mind.