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Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing
Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable
(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented19 -
My partner has zero interest in coding and wants to have a baby, a week ago she started to yell install baby at me. Told her its not the right command. A few days ago she yelled apt-get install baby. Told her there was a user privilege problem. Today she came back with sudo apt-get install baby.
looks like we are going to have to have a baby!20 -
Guy: "We just can't finish this in 1 month!"
Boss: "Yeah you can, I'll hire more people."
Guy: "... You know, a woman can deliver a baby in 9 months but 9 women can't deliver a baby in 1 month."21 -
Me greeting a female friend with a joke: Hey baby, wanna play with my python?
Her: Only if it's well commented and production ready.
Me: I love you.
Her: I know.4 -
!rant
My wife just had our first child today. I guess I'll have to share my rubber duck from now on.12 -
I noticed that urban dictionary didn't have a definition for devRant.
So I posted one.
And it got rejected ):
*Bawls like a baby*
To the four people who will read this, if you're remotely close to being interested, let me know, I'll post it here.29 -
How about some good news for a change?
We have new baby! 😊 He's our second.
And he was born on 10/24!
He's going to be my little devvy.
😊😊😊50 -
So my girlfriend (non techie) just saw my rant about how I'd give her a baby if she knew how to close vim in a proper way (she saw me on devRant, asked me to show it and read my rants) and so I showed her vim so she'd get the joke.
I than told her, how it worked and such so she'd see how it's not a regular text editor and told her to try and quit it, and to my amazement, she did!
Guess she's a keeper :')11 -
I'm 40 years old today. Feels strange.. and getting older as a developer is not an advantage at all. But I got a wonderful little baby, a wife and a job I (almost always) like! So happy birthday to me 😊15
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Who Is Who
➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶
➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶
➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇
➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷
➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶
➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶
Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂18 -
Just found out my wife is pregnant!! So excited! What should our little one's first programming language be? What age should they start learning??
Joy!!24 -
Project manager logic, explained with babies.
9 women can have 9 babies in 9 month. We only need one baby.
Deadline is one month!10 -
About 11 months I posted that my wife was pregnant. I now have upgraded to son 1.0. All without writing any tests!14
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If you hire nine women to make a baby, you won't get a baby in one month.
But if you hire one woman a month and impregnate her immediately, it will still take you nine months to get the first baby, but after that you'll get one baby per month for the rest of the year.
That's the difference between latency and throughput (and that's also how pineapple farms work, since it can take up to a year to grow pineapples).11 -
Wish me luck guys I think this is it. I'm going to be financially set for real this time woohoo! Big thanks to my man billy
6 -
Living in a tiny house and having a remote-only job (and no lappy) means I get the wonderful, lovely privilege of working in my bedroom... with my 18mo (who will not leave me alone), and my girlfriend (who won't fucking leave). It's positively great!
Blasting music is often not enough to drown out the sound, and certainly does nothing for getting hit with toys or screamed at to get picked up, so I get basically nothing done during the day. And that's presupposing I'm not begged to run errands/go to lunch with her, both of which take precious hours. (She won't take the baby out alone, so she's always here unless we find a babysitter)
At least it's quiet after 9pm, so I stay up coding for as long as I can. But 18mo's wake up super early, and the girlfriend prefers to stay in the room until I'm up... so even with earplugs I don't get enough sleep. A monster a day and a bottle of Tito's vodka a month is all that keeps me sane.
Why can't I just be fucking left alone to fucking work? I'm our only goddamn source of income.
It's no wonder we're fucking broke.
And to make matters worse, I'm being downsized... and considering the above, I doubt I'll be able to land a new job. 😡15 -
Me: *spends two hours to write a few details for my personal projects*
My brain: "OMG. You poor baby. You did so many things. You have to recover from that. It's time to sleep for 15 hours."9 -
Built my own Amazon Echo with a raspberry pi because they aren't available in my country. Decided to pick up an official Echo Dot while in America but I'm too proud of my little project to tear it down and use the official thing haha9
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My girlfriend knows me so well 😂 She got me a baby coding duck in a bottle (bought at the Boston Tea Party museum, nickel for scale) 😍
6 -
This morning I WILL code! I WILL finish that multimillion pound idea!! I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!.....then wife and baby wake up 😣6
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Girlfriend: There are so many passwords to remember, man. What's my amazon password, baby?
Me: Just use a password manager?
Girlfriend: That sort of thing exists?13 -
Right hand working on that "billion dollar" website idea of mine; Left hand holding our 4month baby who won't sleep when put down!!!!6
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So, more people = more effective?
Let's see how you can deliver a baby with 9 women with only 1 month
P. S:Good luck with that!!6 -
So, this baby just arrived :)
Now every game I can think of... Nahh, we all know that this helps you in programming by giving you some power
9 -
What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.
guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"8 -
Article title: "Mastering React component composition using children"
<image of a couple holding a baby>
Image caption: "Parents with child."
**Reads the title again**
Wait what?4 -
We got an HTC Vive from my girlfriend’s brother two weeks ago. We’ve been enjoying it, playing games, looking at places to move, using it as a virtual vacation (since we haven’t left the house in months thanks to covid and sweltering heat), etc. It’s been amazing.
Today, my 1yo decided it would be great fun to wrap its cord in the exercise bike and spin the pedals (and therefore flywheel) as fast as he could. It ripped the headset band off, broke the plastic attachment, and tore the cables out. He also broke the pedal somehow.
So no more Vive.
We can probably get it fixed, but.
My heart hurts.11 -
That moment when you are at the hospital and your wife just gave birth. Boss is calling:
-Hi! congratulations on a baby!
-Thanks.
-I need something quick from you...
*connects me to live presentation with a client*
I said "Hi everyone!" and ended the call...
Didn't pick up since..
6 -
So we got our first household Alexa yesterday and my brothers have been asking it silly things, like:
Brother: Alexa sing baby shark:
Alexa: <sings baby shark>
B: Alexa sing mummy shark
A: <sings mummy shark>
B: Alexa sing daddy shark
A: <sings daddy shark>
B: Alexa sing grandma shark
A: "I think that's enough, even I have my limits"
Fucking Brilliant!!!4 -
Ive just bought a domain name for my nephew of now 36 hours old. Ive a really common lastname and it took me 8 years to get a domainname with my name in it.
By the time he is ten (or how old they will be when they get their first email address) he will have his own personalized email and when they learn the basics of programming he can use his own domain for his site.8 -
hello everybody..
just want to say that I was busy those days in being a father fir the first time.. totally new feelings 😁3 -
Babies get 100+ points.
💡 I just need to make a baby and I'll have my stress ball!
Baby firstBorn = new Baby("Tommy");
firstBorn.setAppearance = "adorable";
😅12 -
"No time for implementing a new alert with buttons, so the radio buttons' one should do for now..."
3 -
So I saw a lot of people showing off their servers. That's the baby we setup for our uni project. :)
8 -
Tesco.com, you deep pool of creamy baby shit. I've tried to reset my password three times already. My new password has way more entropy than your mathematically impaired rules command, but apparently using password managers is bad practice. It should be about having at least one special character, not EXACTLY one. I've got lots of uppercase characters, not PRECISELY one.4
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This is just like me when I play with my baby niece to remove some stress from work. Effectively recharges me and can code again even if I'm tired
29 -
My wife left to pick up our oldest kid from school and to later buy her outfits to start ballet.
I work from home, but am still on work hours. I sit on the couch next to our baby that is sleeping.
my wife when she leaves: look, she's asleep, just bring your laptop here and try to work.
me: ok I will
(10 minutes later)
me: ok I'll get the laptop now
me: *get up, pick the laptop, sit down again*
baby: wakes the fuck up
I swear to god this thing has fucking movement sensors.3 -
Me: *rewrites chunk of code*
"Time to test this baby. This is gonna fail spectacularly"
Code: *works*
Me: "Fuck!"5 -
Baby steps... I'm just excited.
I can really feel that I can shout my stress away...work matter. 😌
8 -
I’m a baby and for some reason thought that bootstrap would take too long to learn :/ just learned, redesigned and implemented an entire site using bootstrap in like an hour :/
Y am i like this5 -
For some reason my manager freaked out after her non developer husband told her that each of the web pages for our main service would take months to build. Shit man its just static content with some animations here and there. It is a total of 15 pages and this dude estimated that I (as in yours truly) would only be able to do 2 per month. Bato stfu. Stick to banking (hopefully your time estimates don't suck ass there) and let me woo your woman with my frontend godspeed.
So what did I do?
Simple, asked her to show me one of the design models she already created on photoshop. Saved that thing to my computer and coded it at home. In 2 hours (It was originally one but my dumbass gor tab trigger happy with rm rf autocomplete so I had to do it again...fking dumb) and showed it to her this morning.
Eat a dick dude. The woman is already going apeshit over all the other shit we have to do plus working on her masters and attentind 100+ pointless meetings a day whilst still being able to be the best fucking manager I've ever had. I really don't need her freaking the fuck out over your dumbfuck estimates. Why in the wholy fucking world she listened to your dumbass is beyond me, probably stress made her freak out.
Its cool b.....I got it under control.
Fucking chill woman damn.
**drops mic2 -
Behold, my 34 year old little baby (more like big daddy), the Acorn Electron. Still running fine but god is that BASIC awful.
7 -
The description of my company should be, "where 9 people can make a baby in 1 month, but it is going to be one ugly fuck"3
-
My productivity hack? Exercise.
It's amazing what a good workout can do after a long day of work. The stress just melts away and i sleep like a baby!! Ready to rock and roll the next day. 😎4 -
!rant
As i mentionned here https://www.devrant.io/rants/434101 i was at the hospital. My girlfriend brought me a computer and i'm working on a room organization application for her classroom (she is a teacher).
Rant
Now she is with me at the hospital... in another room delivering our little feature... i'm going to be a dad. Oh and btw this is a rant because it is hard for me to go see her as i am stuck in a bed...7 -
Me: I have to switch to linux, this windows sucks. *click restart
Windows: where are you going baby
3 -
Baby asleep, headphones pumping, beer poured, ready to code my MERN stack application :-)......20mins later still on dev rant!!! :-(3
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Today I finish a 6-month course called "Webdeveloper". It was meant to be a further education but it felt kinda basic.
HTML, CSS, JS, jQuery, PHP, Typo3 with some Typoscript
I still don't feel prepared for job market :/10 -
Boss reasoning: 9 woman can deliver a baby in one month.
My response: 9 man cum in your mother pussy and she delivered you in one month too.
welp, I said that just in my mind of course 🤐5 -
Pathetic dev moments: Any time my macbook fans rev up, I worry that I'm working my baby too hard, so I start closing applications.3
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IT Definitions of Designations
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.
HR Manager is a person who thinks that...a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months -
I can repair an electronic item, write code and debug. Has a degree in CS so why do I have to ask the wife "baby, how do you operate the washing machine?"5
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That moment when...
You’re supposed to be doing work.
You have a deadline.
It’s your sister’s baby shower and you promised to help.
Sis comes over every day to hang with family.
I’ve still not managed to get any work done today, video games and hanging and baking have had my time 🤣
I was up from 12-1 making jelly shots from scratch because my mum wanted blue ones and couldn’t find any blue jelly 😂
They’re bubblegum and for my first attempt I think they look pretty sick.
Will have to find out whether they set in the morning 🙈
2 -
Oxford Dicktionary: A Project Manager is simply a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
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love my new baby <3
base set up: antergos/gnome
Additions: i3 gaps/polybar , getting deepin to play with, mpd+ncmpcpp, gonna get cava.
Don't know all of the specs yet,
16 GB ddr3 mem (??rpm)
256gb SSD
1TB HDD
Asus
also worth mentioning that gnome plays well with toutchscreen 😎
this puppy is gonna serve me well
8 -
Goals For 2019:
- Lose 15~20 Kg on weight
- Learn some NodeJS, react and react native.
- Create a decent Portfolio
- Plan for my own project
- Wait for my new unborn yet baby6 -
Would you rather program one handed because...
A). Broken arm.
B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.6 -
Got an assignment for my OOP class, looked at it, laughed, "haha this is baby stuff I could code this by farting on the keyboard"
Wrote 400 lines of code without debugging
🙃.... Why do I do this to myself?3 -
We were having some complications;
Then I said, c'mon baby don't disappoint me.
Thereafter my old Pentium 4 PC booted up with ease.2 -
For every developer, who lives a nocturnal life.. the toughest job is baby sitting for a week..
At least for me.. Already missing the 3 AM idea cracks and coding..
Waking up at 6am is not my cup of tea and getting the kids ready for school.. I would rather prefer to work all night...
Another 3 days to go...
11 -
Me: "You could try using Redis, cache that baby and try and squeeze some speed"
Dev: "Hun?! Should I use it on the front end or the back end?"
Well... Webdev is not his thing to be fair!4 -
Me buying toys:
Stranger: (coy oooo) "How old is he?"
Me: "ooh. He's turning 23 this month"
Stranger: "months?"
Me: "years."
Five minutes later in the same store meets stranger again.
Me: "Wanna come to my birthday party?"3 -
Life Hack: don't use alcohol or chemicals, rub off glue residue easily with olive oil / baby oil
Works like a charm and also doesn't break cardboard videogame boxes/ book covers
10 -
In 9 months time there is going to be an enormous worldwide baby boom, which will cause panic buying, shortages, and mass maturnity /paternity leave.
And the new generation will be called the coronials.2 -
Slept for two hours tonight because of my baby girl... I've been staring at the same piece of code for an hour or so.. Had 2 double espressos.. Didn't work.. Ppl talking to me and im like...
4 -
By the time I’m able to put my baby girl to sleep, I get hungry again.....
I just remembered, I haven’t had pizza in a long time now...14 -
Raining outside, the office all to myself. The entire building is empty and here I am jamming to Volbeat while I finish some stuff for monday.
It sounds as If i am complaining, but I am not, i love this me time that I get at the end of every Friday (we leave at 12 but I stay about 3 hours extra to fuck around)
I love this shit. Boss got us pizza yesterday and there is still some left.
And i got some tobacco with me . This is some good shit my dudes. Good shit2 -
It's 5pm whooooo!
Let's quickly bash this last query out for the day - seeing as I should have finished an hour ago anyway.
Spin up VM, it's been inactive for 6 months.... yay, login... "incorrect password" tries again "incorrect password", did I forgot it... no it's been the same for years,
ok let's try again slowly,
ok logged in,
jump into mysql,
write up this query,
join this table, join that table, join this other table, and this other, and this one, hahaha, and this one over here... sweet it's been months and I still no my way around this maze!
And now for the moment of truth... run!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And bam, black screen, loading spinner, "Windows is updating"
NOoOooOooOooo!
Fuck it I'm out!11 -
Someone is whining about how hard Git is in an article they wrote. They work for GitHub. The article was posted to HN.
Yes, let's make things so easy a literal baby can do it.16 -
Tfw GitHub app is forcing you to push to master and you do so because you're an idiot, and your agnostic ass starts praying to god(s) nothing goes wrong.2
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have you ever felt that you enjoyed and loved your job and coding, then after a while all of the joy, contentment and vigor just left together with the wind?
Well I have, and let me tell you the story of my peope and the feature whirlpool drain of death, slowly `agile`ing you to the death of creativity.
First everything was seemingly good, Its your product, a baby that every one is contributing to make, a great idea in the making.
Fastforward after the baby was fully materialize, and you are watching his first step, usually you are happy seeing his slow growth. But ITS A BIG FUCKING NO. He wants the baby to go faster, bigger and stronger, more than what he can chew. Then you watch as the baby grew into an abomination. A monster of undistinguishable and parts. It grew inhumanly large. BUT it never grew and it never matured. The baby sits there, and were just here injecting all sorts of stuff just to make his father happy. But the end of the day he will ask more and more and more, until the cycle goes on. The baby grows but does not mature, and were here trying to make his father accept the baby. But NO he like more. Sadly we have no power over this. we are mere slaves of the fathers bidding. his bitches, tools and nothing more...:(4 -
So.. pets for your avatars.. but I don't see the alternative of having a baby crawling around your feet available for choosing instead of dogs and cats.. crawling around, biting cables, smashing my keyboard steeling, buying adorable and distracting her dad from working. because that's what my home environment looks like.. maybe I don't have enough ++'s
;-)6 -
Looking for some advice....
So I'm a web dev that works remotely full time from home which I love, I'm expecting my first child in late march which is really exciting but I'm starting to think about how it's all going to work with the missus home for at least 12 months and of course a baby that (without sounding horrible) is going to be a big distraction to me when I'm trying to work.
So just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there in a similar position or that has gone through the same thing and how you did it? Is there any advice you can give me?
Appreciate any thoughts.13 -
At home, on standing desk made mostly out of cardboard and hope, with 5 month old daughter asleep and attached to me with a sling1
-
Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight ~
I love cheap clients ~
Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight ~
I love shit bugs ~1 -
Its again the time of the year.
The lovely time where enti...
Ahhh who am i kidding.
Its time for Ressurection Remix !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lets build this baby ! -
I just found out google web dev tools let you copy a request as curl command!
Time to scrape some websites baby!8 -
anyone ever had a relative download a virus and when confronted about it they say no? even though you specifically told them not to open weird looking emails.
well, pops apparently did NOT open a ransomware email 😂 Baby, bye, bye, bye... to all the files6 -
In Russian “and now it’s Vista, baby” (а стала Виста, бэйби) sounds just like the iconic Terminator catchphrase. There’s a great meme about upgrading from XP to Vista based on it
5 -
Been 122 days since my last post, since then I have been working on a game engine on Vala using SDL2 in my free time (Lol I have none)
Decided to put that on ice or just work on it when drunk (very common occurrence) and teaching myself C while working on a game or game engine, hopefully will have some quality rants inbound!3 -
Sometimes I ask myself why dark theme isn’t the default setting on apps. I mean, light theme WRECKS YOUR EYES!!! How can the common way of designing is to make light theme default or JUST NOT HAVE A DARK THEME!!!!! It’s so unnatural!!!! Anyway...8
-
squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.
what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.2 -
Found this MongoDB song on Youtube today.
Database Skills (Sia Cheap Thrills Parody) - MongoDB.
Baby, I know your database needs upgrades tonight.
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
These days now, my boss trusts me so much and takes my opinions and suggestions and goes ahead with those. Not to mention so lenient with me regarding work times since I had the baby. I’m melting thinking about her.2
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Warning: this is not a rant. I'm too happy and excited to rant right now.
Today I "finished" my first webpage!!!
Wohooo!
It's the blog I'll use. It's currently offline for obvious reasons but I intend to put it out there when I have more confidence on my skills and some content to put in it. I only used django, html and css, and I really dig the looks of it. My gf liked it so it can't be that ugly.
I still have a lot to learn with django, and I will add a thing or two to this
webpage but now I feel confident enough to make the backbone of my first real project : a platform to ease essay writing for history students. It's something simple for students to keep track of their essays thesis and ideas but also the bibliography they'll use and the thesis and ideas they think each text they read for the essay has. I intend later to extend the functionality so it can store all the texts the user has used in some useful and atractive manner so they can keep track of everything they've read, share it and use it for later works.
I'm so fucking excited I can't fucking sleep (it's 3 am right now).13 -
Every tech-related company sell more and more swag : tshirt, hoodies, GitLab even sell socks and Docker baby stuff.
Do any of them sell underwear ?!6 -
An ad of items on sale in a store:
Bath toys for babies, buy 1, get a second one for 1 $...
One of the toys is a rubber duck..
I don't have a baby...still considering 😂4 -
Antergos is sick of me running bleeding edge on it as it seems.
Installing pure Arch the normal way on btrfs SSD and UEFI. Oh im excited to set this baby up.1 -
Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.
Late I know. But I just thought of it.1 -
var _self = Object.create(Rant);
Hello devs I'm back
A few months ago I joined a software development company and I was pretty specific that I wasn't going to do support or maintenance only feature development, well, this past 3 months I've been doing dev helping stablish good practices and a better architecture for the app, but guess who is joining a support team tomorrow, they sold me the idea of a refactor team, I was trilled and accepted, now they tell me it's a legacy bug fixing team, damn I hate this crap, hope y'all doing better5 -
Starting to hate Codeblocks with a passion, as it crashes randomly for utterly no reason at all. Vim baby, you were always the one for me.3
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Holy shit I had no idea we can use content: attr() in pseudo elements in css! It's a whole new world baby!2
-
I have to wake up in the morning ....for a meeting.........
When was the last time I woke up in the morning? Oh that was before having the baby. -
I think I just discovered what happens when two buzzwords have a baby...
https://cnet.com/news/...
Seriously what the fuck did I just watch. Consume this media at your own risk.5 -
What a distraction from SO.
it makes me remember youtube. *Open some IT stuff video, 15 minutes lates, watch how a giraffe giving her baby..
2 -
I can't tell if I'm being a baby - but I asked for a specific sub-domain for a reason / and they gave me a domain that looks too similar to local and live - just like I was trying to avoid... : /
3 -
Yeah this baby got completed at last💗
(I hope the gif isn't too much pixelated)
Maybe i should write an article for it.😅
5 -
I still do exist, long time no see, fellow Devs! How is it going?
Didn't posted here in long time. Anything new relevant? I just started studying at an university. Hoping to post again here.12 -
Team member knows x better than me?
No fucking way am I gonna ask them to do it. Even if I have to learn the whole damn thingamajig from scratch. Coffee and some Halo OST are all I need, baby!
(In fairness to myself, said teammate is a bit of a hijacker when it comes to helping...)4 -
In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.
Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!4 -
I've always heard about the "if one woman can deliver a baby in 9 months, 9 can do it in a month" situation people got in. But my bos just quoted that to me since we are stuck on deadlines.2
-
(Saturday morning)
Me: I've never been so long without exercising (since before this, my first winter), I should get in shape now that this God forsaken weather is finally reaching livable levels.
(some time later at the gym)
Also me: You've always been in good shape, why stop with just chest, let's do some arms and shoulders.
(48 hours later, Monday morning)
I had to turn my whole torso to look if any car was coming while walking to the library, moved like terminator because of the massive neck muscle pain, suffered through the pain of setting up all my study material to the realize (just now) I can't even fucking look down to my notebook... Can I be more stupid?1 -
ZAYN : Baby, let me be your man.
BABY : No let, only const.
...
Disclaimer : it's a JavaScript joke.
😂😂😂😂3 -
I have a new personal project that I hope I'll share with you guys one day. It just came to me. A fog simulation for a window manager such that it has fog behind the transparent console while you code and the fog goes in front when the terminal is locked. How about it?2
-
SO is like my SO
Yells at me for asking stupid questions. Hates it when I don't Google first. Tells me I'm too vague. Shuts me up before I have the chance to ask.
At the end of the day I've accomplished nothing with my code.2 -
Started playing around with Kotlin and holy shit! It feels like java and js had a baby, but it's actually not a brain-dead pile of crap and works well. I'm sold!
-
This is why "machine learning" is still flawed:
"Stations you might like:"
- Lullabies & Bedtime Music
- Instrumental Lullabies
- Rockabye Baby
- Toddler Time
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star
- The Wiggles
Perhaps I should get my kids their own account. Perhaps the algorithm should now that if I'm looking for music after 9:30 on my phone, and not the Alexa, my kids are already asleep.8 -
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Programmer is a Person who thinks who thinks nine bug can deliver more bug in One month6 -
$test = TRUE;
$baby = TRUE;
$egg = 1
$sperm = 1;
if ($test != 'TRUE') {
print "No Baby.";
} else {
foreach($eggs as $egg)
{
$baby = count($egg + $sperm);
return $baby;
printf("Congratulations");
}
}10 -
Inspired by a programming is a constant/continuous thing. Every small and big achievements, from squishing a bug, finding a workaround, pressing the "Build" button and the programme runs. Each time the brain feels expanded like when a baby discovers new things, a tiny creature in a gigantic Universe of endless possibilities.
-
Apply a Fortran code patch on a Gould SEL via a Mod 40 TTY terminal, which is essentially an electric typewriter connected to the computer. No graphics display. Once you hit enter on a line, that was it. If you fat-fingered something, you got to start over. We've come a long way, Baby!
-
felt like it is 1998 ..
vSphere app only available as a Windows exe while my baby is a MacBook,,
Ended up with multilayers
OS X
->
Virtual box
->
Windows10
->
vSphere
Damn these 6 hr n/w installations
Who the hell just does a win only app .. #fail4 -
Some managers think if one woman can deliver a baby in 9 months, then two can deliver a baby in 4 and a half...1
-
Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...1 -
So this cat (stray) used to come with her baby kitten, for food. Mama always fed the baby first, licked her, protected her....
Fast forward, now the baby kitten is all grown up. Now if she comes near mamas food, she gets growls and a nasty smack from mama cat. :D :D -
Has anyone said WhatsApp and fb are parting their ways or its just the founders leaving the baby with fb?1
-
Waiting on a baby girl in a few weeks from today! Excited! Scared!
Any other future/current dads with babies with tips on how to handle a work from home with a baby?6 -
Curse you Cyclone Debbie. Ruining my plans. I was gonna get things done, but no, just HAD TO HAVE A CYCLONE INSTEAD1
-
I’m thinking of replacing my dev duck with baby yoda.
Btw he’s 50 years old, and I bet his psychic abilities could help me run my code better.
7 -
!rant
For the first time ever I actually did well on a Computer Science test. I didn't even hand it in with any errors. It's the baby steps of progress that make me feel pretty happy. -
Usually I use my laptop which has ubuntu installed but sometimes if I'm doing something for long period of time I use my desktop which has windows 7 installed. You know for games and shit.
Here is the bad part about all of this
*Rant incoming*
This fucking piece of shit ass licker. Deleted my entire god damn paths.
And if you don't know if you don't have the right paths you can't do shit basically. This fucking piece of smelly shit. DELETED THEM FUUUUUCJDUCKFUUUCKKKKFUUUUUCK NOW I HAVE TO WRITE ALL OF THEM AGAIN ?! FUCK YOU FUUUUUUCKKK GO SUCK A BIG DICK FOR MAKING A FUCKING SYSTEM MECHANIC THIS FUCKING FRAGILE. WHAT THE FUUUUCK AND ITS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET THE PATHS RIGHT TOO. SHITSHISHIT AND I CAN FORMAT TO A NEW OS BUT IF ITS WINDOWS I NEED TO INSTALL EVERY DAMN BIT OF DRIVER AGAIN FUUUUUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT
linux i'm sorry I was cheating on you with that piece of shit cheap whore. You are the right one for me. Even though If I need to work hours to make a software work on you l, when you work you work for good, not like this piece of shit that decides to delete important information out of nowhere.7 -
Code is a highly detailed description of what a computer should do. If that description becomes inaccurate we will remove inaccurate parts. Take pride in writing good code, recognize that it was useful for a while, but don’t get attached to it. It will stay in the git history.
If you see code as your baby, know that the team might need to kill your baby.1 -
Sam:- What are you doing??
Richard:- recording a baby's voice!
Sam:- why??
Richard:- when he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
Sam:-😶😶😶2 -
I just road about 400km in a 150cc motorbike between yesterday and today to pick my notebook from the assistance shop. Oh my god, feels good to be home. Now with my baby boy recovered :)2
-
Walked up to my girl and dropped this:
"Hey baby, are you a TCP Connection? Cause you look like a SYNACK"
Oh yeah, WOOOOOOOOoooo!7 -
Dev boy to Dev girl: "What's the time complexity on you loving me, baby?"
Dev girl: while(iExist){
Int n = Random.Next(1, 100);
for(int i =1; i < n^4; i++){
Console.Write("..."); } }
Dev boy: Assert.Fail(); -
!rant
We got a new Macbook pro, 2017 model, i was all excited for it, my 2 coworkers and the manager not so much. But being that I am the only one that knows how to use it and will be working on new web related tech as well as advising our contractors and helping them with the ios and android part it was decided that I shall use this baby. So fucking excited. I get to use this baby at work as well as the overpowered work station that they already gave me :] dis gon b good mane1 -
After a deep day my wife and I came up with our project for steady income to allow me quit work for the first 2 years after the baby is born.3
-
I just started to learn metaprogramming with C++, and it's awesome. But sometimes I make errors which make me feel like if I'm a baby :o (use 0 instead of 0_c...)
-
Moving my baby into prod this morning. I find that the louder my headphones are, the less I can hear myself freaking out.
-
algolia.com is a piece of fucking shit, trying to use the search on the reasonml forms just pisses me off and makes me want to punch a baby in the face!!!4
-
I don't need to improve. I am the best Dev.
..Just kidding. But I don't, really. My life is too busy at the moment with the baby and my side hobby that I'm slowly becoming a bad Dev.5 -
Is there any other programmer that started as an architect (building architect, not IT)?
I'm divided between two different careers and working around 15hours a day because I can't focus on one. Is this a normal thing?
I work as an architect for the past 6 years and were always interested in the technology part of it.
Soon I got to be a BIM coordinator and started using Dynamo for Revit.
After that, I got involved in learning Python and now start studying web dev (front-end)
Programming is very addictive! I get it now why IT people stay in their dorm like it's a cave
In architecture there's always a client you need to make happy, while in programming I create things the away I want them to be, without all the boring formalities that I am used to.
I can learn it for free and there's a huge community to help on it. All careers should be like this.
I'm happy, but really tired 😪 my social life is resumed to hanging out with my dogs5 -
Had an skype job interview, at some point the interviewer asked me to tell a joke. I told a dead baby joke. I dont know normal jokes. I am not normal either. Dont think he enjoyed it.3
-
Google and TikTok sitting is a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love, then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage
---
I see this every time I need to manually update some apps...
20 -
VS Code. It caresses my code as a mother caresses its baby, it keeps it safe while I'm not there and tantalizes my senses like few other editors do.
Also, it's fast and aesthetically pleasing. -
So, a month ago I ranted about windows update, because I had to backup my virtual machine and windows killed it.
Well, Asus needed "only" 4 weeks to replace my fkn Mainboard and now I have my baby back 😄
OK. Now I deactivated the Windows update completely. 70gb, incoming! -
Finally gifting my sister, on the occasion of my sisters recently born baby's 21st day..,
My old laptop with Linux installed and with an update to Samsung evo 860 ssd.
She is new to linux, not so new. Hope she will find good stuff to prepare for the next job as she is on maternity leave.1 -
Me to my code:
"""
Baby can I run you tonight?;
And maybe if told you the right words;
Wooo at the right place;
We'll debug... X2;
""" -
Just clearing through some of my old stuff and found my first word processor computer, might have to crank this old baby up...
-
Interesting definitions
1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine Women can deliver a baby in One month.
2. Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single Woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t Need a man or woman; They’ll produce a child with zero resources.
7. Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby. -
Does anyone know how i can get rid of the rounded window corners?
using elementaryOS with no theme, though i plan to either add Flatabulous or Arc as a theme.
I want sharp corners, not this baby-proofed round mess i currently have going on 😂1 -
Waiting to merge the rest of the team’s new code because you don’t want to deal with migrating your test account to a new backend until your feature’s ready, finally finishing your feature (!) and then seeing 100+ merge conflicts and realizing you‘re better off just re-implementing all your feature code into a new branch, & deleting every trace of your old branch so nobody sees the 1000+ merged commit mess you’ve made -_- today was supposed to be easy...
WHY WOULD ANYONE NEED THREE DEPENDENT SUBMODULES ANYWAY?!?! 😩1 -
It is horrible to navigate in android cause when u press the shift keys more than twice the sticky keys windows pops up. Frustrated but the one friend recommended me using fedora cause it's Linux based Android Studio works fast .and now I can press the shift keys as many times I want oooooya baby I can do that shit u windows4
-
Me: Baby, I'll do anything you want.
She: I want to exit Vim. Please hel......*me interrupting in between*
Me: Except that, bitch.1 -
So many changes over the past few months. Transitioning from a freelance logo / print / packaging designer. Going full stack web developer. Even switched from adobe CC to Sketch for my design needs. What a ride. Everything I come across is new territory. I’m like a newborn baby. The struggle.
-
So I have to install chromium because line isn't available for linux...
Line is far east messaging/social app, and new customers use it.6 -
Emacs is the reason why I screw my own agenda for Saturday, but sweet baby Jesus the mode-line now looks H O T for sure1
-
That feeling when the feature your team developed needs to be transferred to the other site team. Someone's taking our baby 😭.
-
In the mean time if she starts a company, we can say she made a baby and company, both in an year.
1 -
When coding in bed late at night, sometimes the cat mewls outside the door.
Unfortunately she sounds like the baby from Eraserhead and damnit if that isn't off-putting :/
It's creepy as hell. -
I'm in a GoToMeeting with a client right now and her baby is screaming into the microphone. Boy, I sure do love working with clients.1
-
That moment when you are actually looking forward to just go home and chill
...
And then your pc welcomes you with that.
6 -
Helloooo everyone! I've been afk from devRant for some time because of exams. How have you guys been?
Here's a picture of my favorite program, Letterbomb. Thought I'd include it because I kept thinking about it for a while.
3 -
So Yeah, Feel like i am gonna be alone and depressed . I am reaching nowhere. zero baby. big zeeero still7
-
Since when was having 3 spinner styles and 2 pop ups styles a good idea in a SaaS? This baby needs a proper spruce up. I must admit it's not really a rant, I enjoy it, decrapifying the code and general refactoring. This is from a hackathon a good couple of years ago. Finally giving it some TLC. Feels amazing.
-
Find a simple project that I think would fit the technology and Google how to so every single baby step I think my application will need to do.
-
Hello. (Android) dev here contemplating about the future of my profession.
I am looking for a specialization or a field in my profession where i can be free of dependencies from GAFAM (The big five)
Basically software development is me only using dependencies and stuff they and 3rdparty people have created and then it works or it doesnt. Or if you dont keep it up2date it wont work because deprecation and breaking changes. I was web developer before and changed to android because of all the libs and frameworks one needed to wield for proper development. And now android has mostly become the same. Vanilla android is easy, but u start using google apis or 3rdparty services u quickly realize how far u get away from your actual usecase. Usermanagement, oauth, 2fa, userdatamanagement, crossplattform, offline, syncing etc.
I am pretty sure the topic came up before (dev fatigue, dependency fatigue) and most of you know what i mean but i might be the recent casualty here.2 -
Be instrumental in the creation of the first Human-AI baby, and it'll bring our two worlds together!
-
So can't get my games editor to resize the editor room size when you change the window size but can rescale the GUI layer perfectly fine... Fuck this shit, spent too long trying to render and resize using 2 layer so fuck it, all on the GUI baby!2
-
goddamnshitmotherfuckingshit wtf brain? why do all the examples just work, but my code looking similar just doesn´t. why the fuck is this basic thumbsucking baby topic of a scrollable canvas screwing me over since this morning?2
-
Development environments , OS and even languages may change but as long as I got my Sennheisers I can say "Bring it on baby"
-
I wish there is an open source alternative to forge or serverpilot. Not to use on production servers but for local development environment.
Yes, I'm not a command line person.4
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