AboutLogic Implementation Specialist
SkillsPython, SQL, C, C++, C#, PHP, VB, JS, Lua
Joined devRant on 1/20/2019
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How did I not know there was a devrant website. Literally thought it was only an Android/iPhone app.4
Upgrading our DB software.Been fighting with table and view character sets for hours. This is going to be the death of me.6
Clients don't know what they want!
Was handed a detailed report and asked if I could create a webpage to dynamically generate the same thing from our database. Sure its ez ps lemon squeezy.
Simple page and database query. Boom, done. Exactly matched what they gave me.
They ask why some of the data isn't there. Uh well you cunts it wasn't on the original report...so it's not there obviously.1
Any good recommendations for creating PDFs with Python? ReportLab seems powerful, but a steep learning curve. Looked at a couple other options quickly.
Side note...for as popular as PDFs are...it is surprisingly difficult to create them.6
Some non-IT people wrote a crappy software tool. Others have started using it for business critical processes.
Asshats: "People are starting to use our tool and that means it's production ready!"
Me: "If and when this breaks are they going to call you to fix it?"
Asshats: "Well it's really just a proof of concept."
They want the glory but not the work that goes with it. And they dont want anyone else to develop it. They have been a huge pain for me lately.6
Sometimes I get so caught up questioning myself how to *architect* the code, that it takes me forever to do the actual coding.
Anyone else ever do this?5
Was on a call today...nobody knew who owned or was responsible for one of the servers. My manager has a great way of finding out...he says "If I take my hammer and smash the server to pieces...who gets pissed." A moment of silence then someone speaks up..."Oh well then that would be Joe down the hall."
That my friends is how to get answers. Threaten to break things.6
Client: "This has been broken for weeks! Why is it still broken!?!?"
Me: "Did you tell anyone it was broken?"
I may be good at my job, but I have not been able to (nor do I want to) develop mind-reading abilities. Now please fuck off (so that I can go fix it).7
Google: "How do we have millions of people identify images for us so we can reinforce our image recognition software?"
Wasted a total of 4 plus hours. Realized one of the windows registry keys I created wasn't working due to a typo. "comand" instead of "command". FML8
Email this morning: "Program X is not working".
Wow thanks. That's not fucking helpful at all. We have like 100 different applications and I've only ever seen about half of them so far and have no clue how to even use it or what is supposed to do.
PSA: Please don't dump 10GB of your personal photos on your company's shared drives. Especially dont have the photos include such things as nudes and pictures of your social security card.
86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.
Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.2
One thing I learned early on was...
"If the bug is not where you are looking...look somewhere else."
I just spent 2 hours looking at 50 lines of code pulling my hair out why it wasn't working. Guess what...those lines were correct. The bug was somewhere else.5
Several months back when I started this job, one of the HR guys I met was super energetic and outgoing (I'm a quite introvert).
HR Guy: Hey it's so great to meet you! Everyone here is super excited to have you starting in this role!!!
Me: .......uh "everyone"? There's like 500 people here and only about 3 even know I exist.
HR Guy: *thinks for a second* Haha yeah I guess you are right!!!4
Threw together a quick Python/Qt app that would have been exactly what we were looking for...but no...the one class method I absolutely *need* isn't available in pyside2 yet.
Stupid asshats can suck my bologna pony.7
At work the other day...
Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."
Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"
Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."
Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."
Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."
That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.5
I've been developing an application off and on over the past year and a half for fun. Was a good excuse to learn something new.
It is to the point now that it has potential (still needs tons of work) to be much better than several existing applications out there doing the same thing.
I am feeling overwhelmed because I either need to a) seriously invest time into it to make it a fully fledged tool and try to sell it b) open source it and see if other people find it worth working on or c) just abandon it and move on.
Has anyone else been in this type of situation knowing there is potential but honestly may be more than you can do as a single person?7
Guy: "We need you to update a few applications so we can get some new data. We have very important reports we need out of it!"
Me: "OK how soon do you need it?"
Guy: "Two days!! So we can start putting in the data then will have you create the reports."
...two days later...(in the spongebob narrator voice)
Me: " OK its done. Go in add the data you need then let me know so I can generate the reports."
....4 weeks later...still haven't heard from them and they haven't put in the data. Glad it was soooo important that I had to drop everything else to put in the updates that haven't been used.2
Manager: Have you ever developed anything on Mac?
Me: Nope never even used one more than 5 minutes.
Manager: Mr Important Guy has a Mac and he needs to use one of our tools (which is very Windows specific).
Me: Tell him to use Windows like everyone else. We aren't going to support a single Mac user when the other 500 machines are Windows.
Manager: But he's important. Can we get him something with limited functionality?
Me: Fine but it will be *very* limited and buggy.
On a side note I hate Macs (only because I've never used them). I have to google how to do the most trivial of tasks.10
Guy: "Hey I need a real quick script to pull some values out of an XML document...is that possible?"
Me: "Uh...yeah that's pretty simple if that's all it has to do."
Guy: "Ok excellent I'll send you some files and documentation."
Me: "Ok so is this like a one time use thing or do you need to parse multiple of these?"
Guy: "Actually it needs to run all the time, on this specific PC, watch directories for any files that are added, then generate a XLSX files of the values, and also log information to a database. Etc"
Me: "Oh that adds quite a bit of complexity from what you originally said. It's going to take more time."
Guy: "But you said it was easy."
Well fuck you...12
More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.
"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."
Me: Tell him to do his job.
"But we need you to do it"
"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"
Me: She was hired to do that.
"Can we automate it?"
"X is broken"
Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.
"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."
<insert obligatory "long time lurker" statement here>
Started a role about 6 months ago. I'm the sole IT programmer. A bit of the mess I inherited...
- 100+ stand-alone applications/tools (luckily most of them aren't too big).
- No documentation.
- Some applications' only copy of the code exists in production.
- We only have production.
- A single file consisting of 30K+ lines of VB. Little to no comments. The one comment at the top says to keep old code by commenting it out and state what you changed.
- Previous devs didn't like foreign keys.
- No. Fucking. Version. Control. At. All.
- And so much more...
Luckily I was hired due to my experience so I could fix all these problems. Its actually a really great job.8