AboutLogic Implementation Engineer
SkillsPython, SQL, HTML, , CSS, C, C++, C#, PHP, VB, JS, Lua
Joined devRant on 1/20/2019
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Why is saving this form so slow? It should be doing a single SQL update...
Oh it is doing 6500 individual updates to every possible field...fuck my life...and also the previous devs.1
Looking at code from previous devs...which I now support...
Oh hey there is a function to retry connecting to the database if it fails to open...ok...
It doesn't return anything e.g. a boolean. Not a big deal I'll catch the exception...
It catches the exception and silently ignores it? WTF how do I know if it fails??
It keeps trying for 20 seconds...sounds reasonable...wonder how long it waits between failed attempts...0. No sleep, no back off, literally spams the open call as quick as it can throw the exception...
I'm glad I personally dont know them. They are fucking idiots.
Riverbed...the software cost USD $120,000+ and their support was horrible.
Tickets would go unanswered.
Their documentation was pretty good but there were parts that were wrong and they would not fix it.
They would usually close an issue because it was opened by someone else 5 years prior and hadn't been fixed.
The several years I used it their releases consisted of no tangible code enhancements.
Several times we provided very simple reproducable issues and there response was basicly "just don't do that".2
As IT, I hate being too accessible to users (I'm a software dev, not help desk support). One particular user...let's call him Fred (even though his real name is Joe)...sits close to me.
Fred: Bobby, fix my Outlook (he says it jokingly but serious). It keeps saying it needs to be repaired.
Me: Yeah had the same issue last week. I just reinstalled it.
Fred: So...you can't fix it?
Fred: Bobby, I need access to X.
Me: Ok go to this link to request access and a manager will approve it.
Fred: Whaaat? That's too much work. You are IT and should just give me access.
Fred: Youtube isn't working.
Fred: It means my internet isn't working!
Spent over 25 hours in 2 days fighting with character sets and compatibility issues to get 20 year old software working with MySQL 8.
Fuck that shit...
Is is possible to still update Win7 to Win10 for free? I know they dont offer the upgrade option free like they did a couple years ago.
I've read several articles stating a Win7 key will work for Win10. Can anyone verify this still works as of recently? I want to update my main dev machine but want to make sure I dont massively screw it up.
Client: The webpage has been inaccessible all weekend!!
Me: Oh you mean the page you need to have a VPN connection to access?
Client: Yes that one!
Me: Are you connected to the VPN?
Client: Oh...no I'm not. *connects to VPN* Its working now.5
I think I'm not as socially awkward as I once believed. I realize I just have nothing in common with the majority of people.
I don't watch sports, I don't care about cars, or fantasy football, or have any hobbies non-developers would find interesting.
If you want to talk about software patterns, finite automaton, Lua/C APIs, etc, then fuck yeah I'll talk to you all day long.5
Manager: I need you to come up with a quick, temporary solution.
Me: Ok...but it will be kind of hackish and ugly.
Manager: Yes that's completely understandable.
Me: So again you say this is just temporary right?
Manager: Yes we will come up with a permanent solution soon.
*that was over a year ago and the "temporary" solution is not-so-temporary it seems*11
If it is lunch time and I have a sandwich stuffed halfway in my face, do not walk up to me with your computer asking for help. It doesn't take me long to eat so give me 3 fucking minutes to finish.
I will help you...I will touch your keyboard with my greasy fingers...I will touch your screen...multiple times.
Management: Feature X is your top priority. Dont work on anything else because this needs to be ready for next Monday.
Me: *works furiously*
Management: *monday* Oh yeah we dont need that now. Why are you behind on your other work?3
"Let's join two views and create a custom column that acts as a primary key so that other tables can treat it like a foreign key" said no dev ever.
Or at least I had thought that until today when I started figuring out why our queries are so goddamn slow. I hate the previous devs so much.3
For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.
"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...24
Anyone else live/work in a fairly rural area?
Out here (this is the US btw) anything other than 5Mbps DSL is a luxury, Uber doesn't exist, Chinese restaurant is 45 minutes away, oh and lots of druggies. But hey at least theres no traffic and cost of living is reasonable13
People thinking their computer problem justifies them being rude.
I've literally been in the middle of a conversation and someone walks up and hands me their computer and says "can you fix this?". Just because you work 20 feet away from me does not mean I'm your personal IT help.4
IT != Help Desk
Yes I'm in IT (I'm a software developer). No I cannot fix Outlook not opening for you.11
I'm tempted at some point to get a non-dev job. After about 2 weeks I could automate everything then just slack off.5
I need a vacation. More importantly, I need money to take said vacation.
Side note, how the fuck do Europeans afford to take super long vacations.59
Was late the first day (nobody told me when to be there). Was sick as a dog. Had to pull my car over on the way there to puke. Sat through a few hours of orientation hoping I could just go the next 5 minutes without puking. Puked between orientation and actually getting to my office location. Not a fun day.
Never told anyone I was sick.1
How do you train someone to be a programmer fast? (No not like a 'learn to code in a weekend' thing.) Books? Throw them in the deep end? Work with them side by side for a while?
We will be hiring a guy as a programmer. He is very tech/computer savvy, but literally 0 school or work experience programming. I've known him for a little while and honestly trust he'll try to learn but I feel with as little as he knows he is going to get overwhelmed fast. He is not technically under me but it's going to be my responsibility to train him.
I'm worried he's going to get completely overwhelmed and burn out quickly.18
Management: Please spend 2 full days automating this so you save these 3 people 30 seconds a week. Also this is important, so if it breaks we are fully blaming you.1
Within the past year, I've been on both sides of the table...the interviewee and the interviewer. No two interviews end up turning out the same way.
I tend to try to give people the benefit of just being stressed. But others can hear a word or two and assume they know key character flaws and all these reasons not to hire some one.
I just almost shat myself.
I altered the wrong database table column...truncated data we are required to keep for government compliance.
Luckily I had exported that table earlier today and was able to recover it all. I'm in need of a very strong drink right about now.12
How did I not know there was a devrant website. Literally thought it was only an Android/iPhone app.4
Upgrading our DB software.Been fighting with table and view character sets for hours. This is going to be the death of me.6
Clients don't know what they want!
Was handed a detailed report and asked if I could create a webpage to dynamically generate the same thing from our database. Sure its ez ps lemon squeezy.
Simple page and database query. Boom, done. Exactly matched what they gave me.
They ask why some of the data isn't there. Uh well you cunts it wasn't on the original report...so it's not there obviously.1
Any good recommendations for creating PDFs with Python? ReportLab seems powerful, but a steep learning curve. Looked at a couple other options quickly.
Side note...for as popular as PDFs are...it is surprisingly difficult to create them.6
Some non-IT people wrote a crappy software tool. Others have started using it for business critical processes.
Asshats: "People are starting to use our tool and that means it's production ready!"
Me: "If and when this breaks are they going to call you to fix it?"
Asshats: "Well it's really just a proof of concept."
They want the glory but not the work that goes with it. And they dont want anyone else to develop it. They have been a huge pain for me lately.6