AboutLogic Implementation Engineer
SkillsPython, SQL, HTML, CSS, C, C++, C#, PHP, VB, JS, Lua
Joined devRant on 1/20/2019
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We hired a developer and he has very minimal experience. I feel most of our conversations end up going something like this.
New Guy: I'm not sure how to do this obvious task and I'm incapable of searching Google.
Me: Give me your hand so I can hold it and walk you through the process of copying and pasting code from stack overflow.
New Guy: Ok...give you my hand...right...how do I do that?
I wrote a RESTful(ish) API today and it was beautiful. The API looks exactly how I wanted it, the logic is clean and readable, it has some extensibility built-in without cluttering the code.
There are parts I'm not thrilled about but that's mostly due to having to interact with legacy systems. Super proud of myself!2
Me doing front-end work and get a stupid feature request from a customer...."I'll have to talk to our back-end developer and DBA to see if those changes are possible".
Guess what...Im the back-end developer and DBA and the answer is "hell no".3
I have to design a small web-based application (flask, MySQL) and it will also need an API (e.g. JSON).
Is it good/recommended practice to have the web browser directly use the JSON API? Or should I just let it post form data and reuse the underlying business logic?9
I scrolled through the D3.js examples and I feel completely inadequate now as a developer. Some of that stuff is incredible and here I am just hoping to make a couple rotated boxes change color.14
Sent an email to 4 people.
Got 5 out of office auto responses. WTF.
Good thing I don't have work to do 🙃3
Been trying to use the Qt Installer Framework to build an installer. Seemed very appealing, cross-platform support, etc.
It is very easy to do the standard setup...anything beyond that you better be prepared to waist alot of time and get get half working implementations.
Want install over a previous version? Nope!
Want good documentation? Sorry.
User supported community to at least offer some help? Non existent.
The corporate cunts have no clue how manufacturing facilities work. They decided to roll out major changes to their financial systems that control how workers report their hours.
They decide that Dec 29th is a good idea. We are a 24/7 operation and the last 3 days of the year are the busiest time of the year by far trying to meet quotas.
Even today they are trying to finish functionality and are unsure how certain parts will work. This will be a disaster.
Why is saving this form so slow? It should be doing a single SQL update...
Oh it is doing 6500 individual updates to every possible field...fuck my life...and also the previous devs.2
Looking at code from previous devs...which I now support...
Oh hey there is a function to retry connecting to the database if it fails to open...ok...
It doesn't return anything e.g. a boolean. Not a big deal I'll catch the exception...
It catches the exception and silently ignores it? WTF how do I know if it fails??
It keeps trying for 20 seconds...sounds reasonable...wonder how long it waits between failed attempts...0. No sleep, no back off, literally spams the open call as quick as it can throw the exception...
I'm glad I personally dont know them. They are fucking idiots.
Riverbed...the software cost USD $120,000+ and their support was horrible.
Tickets would go unanswered.
Their documentation was pretty good but there were parts that were wrong and they would not fix it.
They would usually close an issue because it was opened by someone else 5 years prior and hadn't been fixed.
The several years I used it their releases consisted of no tangible code enhancements.
Several times we provided very simple reproducable issues and there response was basicly "just don't do that".2
As IT, I hate being too accessible to users (I'm a software dev, not help desk support). One particular user...let's call him Fred (even though his real name is Joe)...sits close to me.
Fred: Bobby, fix my Outlook (he says it jokingly but serious). It keeps saying it needs to be repaired.
Me: Yeah had the same issue last week. I just reinstalled it.
Fred: So...you can't fix it?
Fred: Bobby, I need access to X.
Me: Ok go to this link to request access and a manager will approve it.
Fred: Whaaat? That's too much work. You are IT and should just give me access.
Fred: Youtube isn't working.
Fred: It means my internet isn't working!
Spent over 25 hours in 2 days fighting with character sets and compatibility issues to get 20 year old software working with MySQL 8.
Fuck that shit...
Is is possible to still update Win7 to Win10 for free? I know they dont offer the upgrade option free like they did a couple years ago.
I've read several articles stating a Win7 key will work for Win10. Can anyone verify this still works as of recently? I want to update my main dev machine but want to make sure I dont massively screw it up.
Client: The webpage has been inaccessible all weekend!!
Me: Oh you mean the page you need to have a VPN connection to access?
Client: Yes that one!
Me: Are you connected to the VPN?
Client: Oh...no I'm not. *connects to VPN* Its working now.5
I think I'm not as socially awkward as I once believed. I realize I just have nothing in common with the majority of people.
I don't watch sports, I don't care about cars, or fantasy football, or have any hobbies non-developers would find interesting.
If you want to talk about software patterns, finite automaton, Lua/C APIs, etc, then fuck yeah I'll talk to you all day long.5
Manager: I need you to come up with a quick, temporary solution.
Me: Ok...but it will be kind of hackish and ugly.
Manager: Yes that's completely understandable.
Me: So again you say this is just temporary right?
Manager: Yes we will come up with a permanent solution soon.
*that was over a year ago and the "temporary" solution is not-so-temporary it seems*11
If it is lunch time and I have a sandwich stuffed halfway in my face, do not walk up to me with your computer asking for help. It doesn't take me long to eat so give me 3 fucking minutes to finish.
I will help you...I will touch your keyboard with my greasy fingers...I will touch your screen...multiple times.
Management: Feature X is your top priority. Dont work on anything else because this needs to be ready for next Monday.
Me: *works furiously*
Management: *monday* Oh yeah we dont need that now. Why are you behind on your other work?3
"Let's join two views and create a custom column that acts as a primary key so that other tables can treat it like a foreign key" said no dev ever.
Or at least I had thought that until today when I started figuring out why our queries are so goddamn slow. I hate the previous devs so much.3
For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.
"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...24
Anyone else live/work in a fairly rural area?
Out here (this is the US btw) anything other than 5Mbps DSL is a luxury, Uber doesn't exist, Chinese restaurant is 45 minutes away, oh and lots of druggies. But hey at least theres no traffic and cost of living is reasonable13
People thinking their computer problem justifies them being rude.
I've literally been in the middle of a conversation and someone walks up and hands me their computer and says "can you fix this?". Just because you work 20 feet away from me does not mean I'm your personal IT help.4
IT != Help Desk
Yes I'm in IT (I'm a software developer). No I cannot fix Outlook not opening for you.11
I'm tempted at some point to get a non-dev job. After about 2 weeks I could automate everything then just slack off.5
I need a vacation. More importantly, I need money to take said vacation.
Side note, how the fuck do Europeans afford to take super long vacations.59
Was late the first day (nobody told me when to be there). Was sick as a dog. Had to pull my car over on the way there to puke. Sat through a few hours of orientation hoping I could just go the next 5 minutes without puking. Puked between orientation and actually getting to my office location. Not a fun day.
Never told anyone I was sick.1