AboutSenior Logic Implementation Engineer
SkillsPython, Qt, SQL, HTML, CSS, C, C++, C#, PHP, VB, JS, Lua
Joined devRant on 1/20/2019
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Monday morning panic...the dreaded question.
Random office colleague: "Do anything fun over the weekend?"
Me internally: Fuck...what did I do? Did I do anything at all? I mowed the yard...played video games...spent 3 hours looking at some random open source package I gave up trying to compile. All that is boring though. Was there nothing exciting I can brag about? Fuck...oh wait. I went to a huge theme park Saturday. Yeah that's cool enough to mention!
Me: "No not really"1
User: Your web app hasn't been working all day.
Me: Uh ok...this is the first I heard of it. Whats the problem? Are you getting an error message with any details? Can you send a screenshot so I can look into it?
User: Yeah it was an error message.
Anyone else experience "coder's block"?
No, this is not burn out. I've been learning alot of cool new stuff lately...but no clue what to start doing with it.1
New manager was hired in another department but he sits close to me.
After a couple of weeks he complimented how it always seemed like I was there at work.
I just said thanks. But what I wanted to say was...
"Yeah no kidding fucktard, you get here after 8am, leave before 3pm, and you some how are impressed that not only does my normal 8 hour shift completely overlap the time you are here, but I also regularly put in 9 hour days which is pretty normal for people around here.”7
Found that out that one of our company's internal API (I hope it's only internal) is exposing some personal data. After finally getting the right people involved they said they'd fix it 'immediately'.
5 days later I check and now there is more personal data exposed...which includes personal security questions and the hashed answers to said questions.
And of course they are using a secure hashing mechanism...right? Wrong. md5, no salt
Previous front end dev apparently was not aware of padding and margin.
The html is riddled with and <br>
Shoot me now13
Within our company someone put out a survey for software developers.
The one question was ”What question would you want to ask other software developers at our company?"
One of the responses was "Why am I such an embarrassment to programming?"
I feel like I need to tell this person about devrant.1
It is very hard to make me mad.
But if you imply I "didn't do anything" or that my job is "easy" because all I do is just ”sit in front of a computer” 9 to 10 hours a day then you can go fuck yourself.15
During the 3 years I've been in this job I have had one pay increase.
My manager has gotten 2 raises and 2 promotions (which each come with a pay raise) during that same time.
My company really knows how to make you feel unappreciated.7
I slightly changed the color of a label on a WinForms app...and broke everything.
Why the fuck would anyone code logic that is dependent on the exact color of a control.
This code is a train wreck.6
I wish you needed at least 500++ to post images or in the joke section.
What's with all these new people just reposting memes?!13
99% of our server-side code is Python and PHP (legacy applications).
Asked a junior dev to make a small update to a PHP site so we could have it run some cleanup server side. Plenty of existing PHP code to look at and piece something together. Should be 50 lines max.
Did he use the existing PHP code to do this task? Nope. Did he at least use Python? Nope.
"I couldn't figure it out and Node.js seemed to have good support for mongo so I used that instead."
Much would of rather he put in twice as much time to learn the tools of our stack.8
Years ago I co-authored a technical paper. I now see you can buy a paper copy of it on Amazon for nearly $900.00
Its freely available anyways so I sure hope nobody has actually bought it haha.5
I'm starting on a new project and the person that is wanting this done recommended we have a "living document of requirements"
Why did I just now find out about <colgroup>?
If you create alot of html table data I recommend looking into it.
This is super useful!9
Just heard a site IT leader say her laptop was "fixed with a BIOS update" followed by "I have no idea what that means"
How do these people get into these kinds of roles?4
My Manager: Could you help "other manager" (OM) they need some very simple code changes.
Me: sure that will only take a few minutes *adds 15 lines of code tells OM one single line they have to modify*
Some other manager (SOM): Hey how does this work, I'm confused, do I need to do anything?
Me: Yes see the email chain you were copied on.
SOM: Actually let's have a meeting instead and all discuss this.
Goddammit this was a simple change to make your life easier now you are wasting everyones time by not reading the email
User: This web page form is too hard to use and is prone to have wrong data filled out.
Me: Uh...ok. Here is a redesign. You literally fill out one text field and a date picker.
User: Oh this is great, thanks.
*checks the database and the very first entry they created had the wrong date.*
Customer: as soon as you get a proof of concept could you send it to me?
Me: sure *sends app to test* here is what it currently does and does not do.
Customer: thanks, here is a list of 59284 things that dont work or need changed.
No shit sherlock. It's not done, you wanted a very early version, and of the things you listed I already mentioned half of those.6
This code is so horrible I'm too scared to even fix bugs.
No I did not write this code originally.1
I fucked up...
I inadvertently fixed a bug which changed the behavior in another application. Weeks later had a seemingly unrelated issue which my initial assumption was to blame a 3rd part tool (which was wrong). I gave said assumption to my manager not thinking anything of it and putting a simple change in place.
Higher ups start asking my manager about it, he provides details...the more I thought about it the more I realized the changes I made did not make sense.
I dug deeper into it and found it was due to the change I made weeks ago. So my manager offers to cover for me but i told him I'd take full responsibility.
I'm not getting fired or any type of reprimand at all...I just hate fucking up and then it looks like we are trying to lie about it being our fault.4
I've hit my quota for this month for social interaction. Unfortunately I have a very busy weekend coming up and already super anxious and stressed. I hate being an adult sometimes.3
RFC 6068: The 'mailto' URI is suppose to use commas to separate email addresses.
Outlook: Fuck you and your specification I want semicolons unless the user's regional settings has a comma specified as a list seperator.5
I downloaded the self-proclaimed "industries #1 API testing tool".
Within 2 minutes I managed to cause it to completely freeze up, and now I cant close it.9
I did some number crunching for a report...had someone ask me to "peanut butter spread" the numbers out. What the actual fuck...2