So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?

This is critical you must do it now! No this!

My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.

Add 1 - Remove 2
-implement-

Why did you add this?
Alright - Remove 1 and Add 2.
-implement-

I like what you did with 1 but I'm not sure about what you did here with 2.
-wait...wait...wait...-

Hey, just noticed the way you had 1 and 2 before you started making a bunch of unnecessary changes was better, go back to that.

Peer reviews are awesome!

Graduation on June 1st, most amazing wife ever just brought me a new friend!

Why do I keep opening all this shit that has been signed off by an expert yet is completely wrong everytime?!

Your tests won't work right because you failed to meet coding standard, not that hard to understand. Yet, here we are still implementing the same shit that got us in this conversation.

23 nested If statements....are you fucking kidding me!!

devRant squishy had a rough winter adventure rolling away in the night

Nothing like working through the night, finding that big break through and getting 900 lines of code going with minimal bugs and then having nobody to share it with that can appreciate the beauty of it all.

Them: "We need you to do this thing this way because it isn't possible to do the right way."

Me: ... *codes script that works the right way*

Them: "But it was actually this other thing we didn't say anything about that isn't possible."

Me: ... *codes script with new condition, still works*

Now repeat daily for 2 weeks and we may get to where I don't just silently provide a working script.

Maybe I should have just done it the wrong way to begin with?

Of course we can accomplish in a week what couldn't be done in 6 months just because you say it's a hard deadline.

A team of over 70 completing around 3-5 tests per day, per person. A deadline 8 days from now with around 900 to go. We determined they would have to do 19 a day each and yet somehow management is overly confident we will make deadline...should be interesting. Wonder who's getting fired over this one.

Me: This is going to be a big issue

*Crickets*

Me: (X10) Raise same issue

*Crickets*

Suddenly my Friday starts with two teams going "HEY THIS IS AN ISSUE!"

Me: No shit? I never would have guessed. See you when I get back from vacation!

Different perspective.

So your friend wants you to make the next big Facebook or Google because they know you can code....lots of rants like that and it gets me as well when I'm fixing printers for family and friends. Thing is these people genuinely just want to do something cool and succeed so they can have a good life. They see what we can do and wish they had the same talent. They have an idea they think will be great, they don't know what we know, and they don't know that it could be the most amazing thing ever and still never take off.

They don't realize to be Facebook or Google you have to sell out your values, morals, and soul. They just think if we can code we should be millionaires. So on that philosophy after just over a year the devRant creators should be rolling in cash right? But pretty sure I saw they are still operating at a loss.

I'd love to be able to have the time to work with each of them, teach them, and guide them through that first failure and let down of realizing that coding doesn't buy a magic ticket to a new life.

// Like anyone ever really fixes a printer //

Man fuck Facebook, log on hardly ever, feel caged by family who won't let me permanently leave, and when I do log on it's always something depressing shit.

My phone auto jumped me back to devRant and some ++ action and cool new rants...so much better, even with the down votes from the "I don't know what I'm doing here" crowd.

This one guy on my team had like 10 commits to a single file over a day with all kinds of wild changes.

Build is broken most of the day (not mine but whatever).

Finally, at end of day he says it is fixed.

I diff the first and last changes.

Copyright changed...wtf

Wasn't even going to do this but here it is.

Meeting to start every single day. Every day I have said what is assigned is not possible in any way. Nobody listens or cares.

Fast forward a week, my team is deadlocked with an issue that cannot be fixed. Morning meeting kicks off, topic gets brought up by me and the immediate response is, "Why have you or anyone else been looking into that? We've known for weeks that is an issue."

This was an actual text message I received from my wife shortly after I got to work this morning.

What are you doing crashing on me Windows?

All I was doing was running a flight simulation, compiling a build, and doing a regex search over 6 directories. Try to open one little document and it all goes to hell.

Surely you can handle that Windows?

Apparently not.

A friend asked me how people who don't speak English learn to code...he said, "Do they have to learn English first?"

😂

I told him, "See, you're halfway to being a programmer!"

What's with all the blank avatars today? Hadn't noticed this before, maybe I'm just slow.

60 hour work week deserves down time....no code, just immersion...feel like I'm being watched though

I have a cheap crappy drone and while not using it I hang it on the smoke detector. Neither the drone or the smoke alarm have batteries.

I glance up and see a light flashing, freak out, shoot the drone...lights still flashing and I realize it's the smoke detector. Fuck that, there's no batteries. I shoot the smoke alarm and it explodes...battery lands at my feet still intact...

...the alarm is dead, the drone is crying, the toaster is laughing and I can't figure out why the fuck I shot my drone and smoke detector but the toaster doesn't phase me.

(Some of this is actually true)

So I'm back in school for a graduate program... mostly just to continue deferring loans because that seemed like a smart choice....

Anyway I'm back in school and at the end of the third class I realize I just spent the last hour teaching the class....how to hack....how did this happen?

I'm so disoriented I don't know what's going on anymore...I get to work and suddenly I'm teaching again...when did this happen?

Am I now stuck in some role as a mentor and teacher? If that's the case we are all screwed.

Those who can't do instead teach?

So, who wants to learn something useful? The below is pretty entertaining.

rm -rf

Just told the dev I'm pseudo mentoring for like a week or two about devRant...here's to hoping I don't get fired!

Seriously these assholes just gave me shit over half a day and made me use vacation time for a client holiday recently when I work so many hours that family and sleep are a fading fucking reminder of a different life....

Seriously....fuck you

Beyond Compare and Agent Ransack so I can see all the crappy changes getting introduced to my build.

Reminder (and probably some form of repost)

Food and sleep are key parts of human behavior.

I forgot and experienced system failure

Learn to say no...more than anything I just want to help my fellow engineers. Now I am so loaded with so much work that 3 people couldn't poorly do my job. No relief in sight and all I get are unrealistic deadlines and poor criticism when my work is better than anything that was done previously.

Someone tell me why the hell I wanted to do this line of work again?

!Rant

Goodies from some awesome devs

4 different software areas face issues I am experienced in resolving. I somehow feel like the down time these last few months is about to come to an abrupt end.

Just as soon as they figure out which one gets me, let's hope it isn't all of them at once.