I've got 99 problems.. And a massive failure of a raid 5 array just added to it.. Meh!

Thank you hosing company, all you had to do was rebuild the crummy php 5.2 cgi with an up to date version of openssl that supports tls 1.2 so the PayPal integrations work for the seven customers who are too fucking tight to pay to have their sites upgraded to something modern...

Not set all 120 sites across five servers to run on php 5.2..

Assholes!

I always thought I was the only person that uses vim these days.. Actually I was laughed at when I started my job three years ago and requested vim as my ide....

Now everyone at my company uses it ^_^

All sysadmins, PLEASE! For the love of God just block port 21 in any direction from anywhere, going anywhere.. FTP needs to die.. The f**king protocol predates tcp/ip for God's sake! We need to stop project managers using it, it's a nightmare!!

I just turned my keyboard over and gave it some gentle taps for the first time in three and a half years of working here..

I wish I had not done this..

There was an issue whilst you were away, we had to make a small css change.. We pushed it into master but it said something about the branch being behind the tip by 50 commits or something. It's okay, we forced it up though and force pushed it to production as well but the site went down.. In the end we had to ftp it up manually but the customer is saying things that were there before now aren't there any more?

I thought you put this "release process" in so things like this wouldn't happen! I think we need to review it as it clearly isn't working.

#include <mindreading.h>

doMagic();

Testers be like "button is slightly too blue and four pixels too far to the right"

Severity: critical
Importance: showstopper

Sigh...

When you have a three hour project specification meeting and the people from "the business" spend two hours of it arguing over what to call the thing you're building the system to manage..

Sigh..