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Search - "fail"
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OK, who's idea was it to make the midterm for a computer science course have only fill in the blank answers with automated grading? 🤔15
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First day at my first workplace as a dev. waiting for my laptop to load up, nothing happens, black screen. waiting sitting patiently and silently for approx. 20 minutes.
the monitor was off.6 -
Well Google.. I have been shouting null at you but you don't seem to respond. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??2
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Me: *works all day and night to finish project before deadline*
Me: *has constant anxiety attacks. I'm gonna fail*
Me: *gets home and takes a 4 hour nap*
Everyone: OMG! I never see you doing any work. All you do is sleep and stare at your computer screen ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT! You need to get a job and do something with your time instead of being a lazy shit!
And people wonder why I have no fucking motivation to do these things. You are not helping my anxiety, woman!12 -
A friend of mine went to her boss and said that she will quit if she won't get 50% salary raise - boss said ok. She told about it her working colleague so he went to the boss and said 50% or I'll quit - boss said cleanup your desk...5
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Them: “We want parallax on our website on mobile!”
Me: “Parallax does not work in a mobile web browser.”
Them: “But it does here!” Shows me an iOS app that does parallax.
Me: “That’s in an iOS app. Not a mobile web browser”.
Them: “ Oh well. I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”
😐😐😐😐😐.
Welp.23 -
--- GitHub 24-hour outage post mortem ---
As many of you will remember; Github fell over earlier this month and cracked its head on the counter top on the way down. For more or less a full 24 hours the repo-wrangling behemoth had inconsistent data being presented to users, slow response times and failing requests during common user actions such as reporting issues and questioning your career choice in code reviews.
It's been revealed in a post-mortem of the incident (link at the end of the article) that DB replication was the root cause of the chaos after a failing 100G network link was being replaced during routine maintenance. I don't pretend to be a rockstar-ninja-wizard DBA but after speaking with colleagues who went a shade whiter when the term "replication" was used - It's hard to predict where a design decision will bite back and leave you untanging the web of lies and misinformation reported by the databases for weeks if not months after everything's gone a tad sideways.
When the link was yanked out of the east coast DC undergoing maintenance - Github's "Orchestrator" software did exactly what it was meant to do; It hit the "ohshi" button and failed over to another DC that wasn't reporting any issues. The hitch in the master plan was that when connectivity came back up at the east coast DC, Orchestrator was unable to (un)fail-over back to the east coast DC due to each cluster containing data the other didn't have.
At this point it's reasonable to assume that pants were turning funny colours - Monitoring systems across the board started squealing, firing off messages to engineers demanding they rouse from the land of nod and snap back to reality, that was a bit more "on-fire" than usual. A quick call to Orchestrator's API returned a result set that only contained database servers from the west coast - none of the east coast servers had responded.
Come 11pm UTC (about 10 minutes after the initial pant re-colouring) engineers realised they were well and truly backed into a corner, the site was flipped into "Yellow" status and internal mechanisms for deployments were locked out. 5 minutes later an Incident Co-ordinator was dragged from their lair by the status change and almost immediately flipped the site into "Red" status, a move i can only hope was accompanied by all the lights going red and klaxons sounding.
Even more engineers were roused from their slumber to help with the recovery effort, By this point hair was turning grey in real time - The fail-over DB cluster had been processing user data for nearly 40 minutes, every second that passed made the inevitable untangling process exponentially more difficult. Not long after this Github made the call to pause webhooks and Github Pages builds in an attempt to prevent further data loss, causing disruption to those of us using Github as a way of kicking off our deployment processes (myself included, I had to SSH in and run a git pull myself like some kind of savage).
Glossing over several more "And then things were still broken" sections of the post mortem; Clever engineers with their heads screwed on the right way successfully executed what i can only imagine was a large, complex and risky plan to untangle the mess and restore functionality. Github was picked up off the kitchen floor and promptly placed in a comfy chair with a sweet tea to recover. The enormous backlog of webhooks and Pages builds was caught up with and everything was more or less back to normal.
It goes to show that even the best laid plan rarely survives first contact with the enemy, In this case a failing 100G network link somewhere inside an east coast data center.
Link to the post mortem: https://blog.github.com/2018-10-30-...7 -
Recruiter: Do you use .net C#?
Me: Uh. No. I applied for a position of a front-end developer. I use JavaScript and...
Recruiter: Oh, that's good. We need an Android developer.
*sigh*7 -
After a painstakingly slow conversion of a VM virtual hd, I got informed with this.
My heart skipped a beat seeing that icon.4 -
This has to be the funniest IT fail ever. https://m.reddit.com/r/...
Found it in a comment somewhere on devrant (i forgot who posted originally, but this is me giving credit)9 -
Interviewed with Amazon, panicked and ended the interview apologizing for wasting the guy's time on a simple binary search question.11
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[2010]
Begins Bitcoin mining during it's infancy, stops because it's a waste of time and has no value.
[2017]
1 BTC = £5,874
i cri evrytiem ;_;5 -
FML. All those "train your own object detection" articles can go burn in hell. Not even TFs pertained models work!10
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Worst meeting... Way back in 2008 at my first web development job, our VP of sales kept referring to a client that was "jewing us down."
I'm far from Jewish, but I didn't like this guy whatsoever so I began breathing heavy and furling my eyebrows in the meeting.
He asked what was wrong, and without hesitation, my coworker next to me yelled at the VP and said, "you anti-semite piece of shit. Can't you see that Lee is Jewish? Wow. Way to go dipshit. Now he's going to sue the company and we'll all be out of a job!"
VP began profusely apologizing to me while I turned my nose up and refused to acknowledge his existence. Then we hear a click followed by a dial tone.
It was the actual customer. None of us realized that our other coworker had already dialed the conference line with our table speaker phone and had been quietly waiting to start the meeting while our theatrics played out for the entire room to hear.5 -
Received an offer for a job by a recruter during the weekend!
The offer is for a job in the company and team I'm already in!8 -
*project manager + designer are showing new designs*
PM: so, can we get some estimates?
Devs (literally all of us): do we have a mockup for this interaction?
Designer: no.
Devs: What about that one?
Designer: not yet.
Devs: What happens when you click here? Hover there? How does this look if I select that option + this option at the same time? Does it make sense that a user can select *this* option with *that* option? They're kind of mutually exclusive.
PM: Well...
BTW: code freeze is in two weeks...4 -
Finally received the sticker I ordered with vim shortcuts. Now ants around me can edit efficiently >.<9
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Spent 3 hours making a script that saves me 15 seconds every half an hour. Hmm not my best choice.8
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Me: "Hey <coworker>, I got this mistake do you know why?"
Coworker: "Seems to me like you didn't put <thing> in there"
Me: "No way, I just edited it here"
*looks at file*
"Oh, I didn't save that"
*saves file*
"Oh hey, it works now 😅"
Office: 🤣🤣🤣
Mondays, I guess 🤷♂️3 -
Has anybody noticed some people's undying obsession with making their 2018 websites look like they're from 2001? Some of our clients INSIST on using site entry pop-ups, scrolling marquee text, and as many flashing buttons as possible on their sites. These are the type of people who think: "The number of buttons on my website directly correlates to the amount of money my site makes me. I want 12 buttons, all worded slightly differently, that all link to the same exact page. This will sell more of my product. From all of my experience in UX, I am positive that users will respond to a flashing neon colored button labeled "SAVE NOW!!!!!" Nevermind that your company employs professional UX Engineers. I know more than them."7
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I think I misled Google because it just serves me German ads the last three weeks while I am Dutch.
I am not using a VPN.
I listen German music and watch some tutorials in German.
I rarely talk Dutch online and I talk quite a lot with Germans.6 -
Starting to work with a new senior designer in the remote office (red). Spent 4 days explaining to him that we need .png's in multiple sizes for the app, trying to teach him to use Zeplin to let us export them. Everything failed, his manager told him to just send us the .png's via slack ..... has he seen a computer before?11
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Sometimes I should think twice before committing (Thank god there are no contributors beside me yet)7
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noob misconception #378: during my first internship the summer after my freshman year, i was under the impression that if i used 1000 threads, my job would finish 1000 times faster. needless to say, my machine crashed in a second, and my manager thought i was an idiot when i was surprised it didn't work9
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Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!13 -
Was developing WordPress plugin. On the last step, i need to check if the remove DB table functionality when user uninstall the plugin is work. uninstalling plugin, check phpMyAdmin, and yes the table is gone. Also the plugin, which i dont have any backup. I need to drink....7
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1. Comes up with a project idea.
2. Doesn't have enough friends who code to collaborate said idea with.
3. Abadons project.
All in that order. lol
I just want to build cool stuff. :(10 -
What happens when Web devs are stuck with implementing the Android app UI when the Android devs aren't around...2
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Just found out that softmaker.de has a website were they publish one of their professional fonts every month.
I looked at it and then downloaded all previous months. 😂
I just ❤ the web archive!
---
Btw. does anyone has experience with the officesuite from softmaker.com on linux?
They provide an office-suite for linux as well which I appreciate but I'm not that hyped since I currently don't need it and the design is kinda old fashioned. (I once tested FreeOffice.) -
My wife saw me posting on Dev Rant raging about my boss, and suggested I ought to use a different user name instead of my usual one... considering he spends all day using social media I think she might be right... passed the advice on to some friends we are all now paranoid and have new accounts. <33
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The feeling of sitting through an hour debrief after a project was delayed due to added functuonality which fell completely out of the original scope was added and the PM on the project is sitting on fb with their phone the entire time.
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I just answered an old Question I asked on a forum and I don't know if I should be proud about my improvement or if I should feel dumb for accidentally answering my own question3
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Today my raspberry pi media center bricked itself (at least it won't boot properly. Than I thought I just format the SD card and reinstall everything. But than my windows pc won't boot properly because it's still running on old hdd and I suck at building PCs. Than I tried my ThinkPad with antergos and remembered that it is also dead because the last update broke something. And now I'm trying to boot my windows at least into safe mode and my ThinkPad to boot from the live stick to chroot and fix it. Still waiting since 15min for any progress.
Now is my old Oneplus One with an outdated nightly of a custom Rom my only working connection to the web.
I'm starting to think that waiting for the last minute to fix problems might not the best way for me.10 -
Thanks windows 😉
I can free ~4TB on my ~32GB drive 😂😂 I astonished how much crap of this OS can be on such a small plate 👌😂2 -
Our UX guy today presented a prototype of a new UI where users can declare an order.
Under the categorie "measuring unit" used to give the specification of mass or volume. He gave the following options
- kg
- litres
- m^3
- m^2
- others (which would allow the user to input anything)
Wtf why do you give the user the option to input anything. So we had to explain to him what SI units are...17 -
Just saw this on FB..
Well I don't do much Webdev but that won't work for sure.
The first closing bracket ends the function Block -.-
Nice try Marketing team9 -
Tip of monday:
Test your restores, not your backups.
Just got f#@ed by trusting the log, not the restore folder size1 -
One of my hard drives S.M.A.R.T. said it could fail anytime and I should backup my data. I cut all the files to a new hard drive.
Later that week the new drive fails with the needle falling into the magnetic disks... Fml.
Should've saved those files on the cloud...13 -
This one actually looks pretty real (barring the fact that I don't have an account with Navy Federal Credit Union, nor have I or any relation of mine ever been in the Navy.)
Upon closer inspection, it appears that in addition to a couple bits of missing punctuation and a complete lack of identifying information the reckless little scamps forgot the most important part of the whole thing! None of this message is a hyperlink. They forgot to include the fraudulent link to the form they are hoping to get their "victims" to fill out.6 -
Hmmm, this feature that I added seems to make the whole process 50% longer. I need to optimize something. Let's see now...
Yeah, make that a shared resource and parallelize IO to leverage the multi-core architecture. Hash map for this, binary tree for that. This thing that gets called a million times can be written easily without a regexp. That thing can be rewritten in Rust as it's too demanding.
There! Works! And it's also a lot cleaner. Nice!
How's the performance doing? 70% longer.11 -
Apple 4k Tv is a joke 😂
& for the price you get a xbox one s which supports 4k too + you can play games on it18 -
Testing in a production environment is like closing a door in a to kill a snake and electricity goes off 📴
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I am soooooooooo fucking stupid!
I was using an np.empty instead of np.zeros to shape the Y tensor...
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
No fucking wonder the poor thing was keep failing to detect a pattern.
Let's see if it works now... *play elevator music while we wait for keras*6 -
Me: This is a good article about a CSS problem I always have and can never remember how to fix. Imma bookmark that.
Me, the next time I have that problem: Dang. Why doesn't this work. Better Google it.3 -
Just a package machine into which you'd put the number of your package then get it. Apparently it runs Ubuntu and it's not set to start automatically. Damn part of me wanna connect a keyboard and find out what it has to offer.9
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I like npm errors.
So i installed nodejs on termux on my android smartphone to watch npm fail, even when I take a walk.
Great times!5 -
Gotta love how the internet remembers everything.
He won't publicly shame the company, but the last commit is named "removed company name", guess what it contains...
https://github.com/krizsoo/...2 -
Oldie but goldie.. after my studies, I was looking for my first job and did interviews. In one of the companies, they asked me whether I knew C. Well yes, I had been programming in C. Ah no, that wasn't enough - they asked whether I was really good in C. I got suspicious and argued that there was the project documentation anyway, right? Turned out, no. The code was the documentation, as I had suspected.
Then my question - as freshman, mind you: "Do you have any plans to get to a more professional way of developing?"
The interview was pretty much over at that point, the boss got actually angry. Well, interviews work both ways, and he had failed. I surely dodged a bullet.2 -
When you have a three hour project specification meeting and the people from "the business" spend two hours of it arguing over what to call the thing you're building the system to manage..
Sigh..3 -
Dear providers of SDKs, when you claim to have a full documentation for your SDK, please at least provide the info about what unit (radians or degrees) the Angle properties are. Especially important when the iOS SDK is taking radians and the Android SDK is taking degrees, as I found out by experimenting. I don't even care so much about float on Android and double on iOS. Just make use of the fucking documentation and provide some actually useful info there. "Sets or gets the angle" is fucking NOT useful.4
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hey dickhead, you could, at least, test everything is working after you merged your branch.Now you have leaving the company, i'm the one in charge of cleaning up your shit.
Hope you will eat a dick every time one of your program fail 'cause of your lack of test2 -
Terminator's broadcast feature is nice.
However, it's fragile as crap, and oftentimes sends duplicate characters, or adds garbage.
Quite awhile ago I posted a PSA on how to fix it (by killing ibus) but now it's broken for me again. And due to just how it broke, I've given up on fixing it. Instead of broadcasting one or two duplicate characters like before, it now hangs for many seconds because it's broadcasting THREE BLOODY MEGABYTES WORTH OF DUPLICATES with every keystroke.
Like, seriously?
How do you fail that hard?2 -
Never buy crappy, consumer-grade SSDs for use in production servers/RAIDs. This might sound obvious but at the company I used to work for, through a series of bad decisions by management and cheapness, we ended up with the cheapest consumer SSDs you can imagine powering all of our storage.
This turned into a nightmare spanning years of failed hard drives and a continues cycle of ridiculousness. Drive failed after a few days, gets taken out, sent back to manufacturer and then replaced with another equally crappy drive destined to fail within days/weeks.
Our ops people were going to the data center multiple times per week to replace failed drives. Lesson I learned: cheaping out on system-critical hardware and software can have long standing consequences and in the end usually doesn't end up actually saving money when you account for time employees have to spend dealing with issues that result from it. -
I just saw an ad about a "new" tablet PC. The tablets are shown with the Windows 8/8.1 Start Menu, while the text says they're running on "Windows 10.1"...2
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I actually saw this right now from my radio which should display the time... Was able to go from 0 to 99 o'clock..
Someone messed up really bad
...5 -
Security fail here. I've just started a PPI claim and have been provided a link to a so called "very secure" client area.
There are no username or passwords and the screenshot is not a first time sign up screen.
All I need to login is a surname, postcode and DOB - all information easy enough to find online.
Pretty bad IMO, esp, so considering the effort required to add a proper login using a username/password combination.
I mean I'm logged in now and have no option to set an account password :|3 -
Costumer called.
feature xyz doesn't work.
Spent hours trying to find the bug causing the malfunction, couldn't reproduce it on my devices.
Called to the customer to have a look on his device.
Feature xyz works as intended, the only bug: Too less patience at Layer 8.
Device just needs a little moment to establish a connection.
Patience is a virtue. -
I know it's not a microsoft fail, so nobody will spend some time to rant and joke about
https://engadget.com/2017/10/...5 -
Set up a 2GB upload to run and a 6GB folder to compress while I went to do an errand. Came back to find computer had rebooted itself while I was out. No reason for it in event logs. Just a random reboot for giggles, I guess. File upload aborted with no resume and I’m unsure if the full folder compressed. Have to start over.3
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Creates PHP scripts for development SQL server, pushes to production to find out the schemas are different. *face palm*1
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Crazy day full of challenges. Listening to dramatic music. 7 mins before end of day solve massive problem. Stand up and throw arms in air with a cheer! ... I work in an open office of 40 or so people. I got lots of weird looks. Took headphones off office was silent. Aaaaawkward
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When you spend 2 days writing ~1500 lines of code and you finally put everything to the test and nothing works properly, FML :/1
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What an awesome navigation bar 🤗 please navigate me to site `-1` 😂😂 and then making a drawback 'n' fail with a server error page 👌😉1
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Trend:
The Kiki
- idiots get out of there car and dance with the door open...
Me
- Meh. Ghost riding the whip is old news.
——
New Trend:
The Kiki fail
- people get out and either fail or get betrayed.
Me: now I’m on board.
Great examples seen so far...
1. Women get out dancing, drops her bag (on purpose) in dancing. A motorcycle comes along and steals her purse.
Me: Great. I hope they get away with it too. I like the criminals more than the idiot in this case.
2. Dude gets out and starts dancing. Driver speeds up. The guy holds on to the car telling him to “STOP!”. He stops, the guy goes head first through the window of the driver (its down) and I assume right on his head.
Me: mmmmm delicious7 -
People often rant about a missing semicolon,
I added an extra after if condition
if(...);{
}
Compiler can't take this as error.
Debugged the logic for hours,
Wasted a lot of time, lol5 -
Hitting a really deep, deep low in the manic-depressive roller-coaster of the development cycle:
There comes the crunch time. No meeting goes by hearing the odious: "We don't have time for that." - One critical component needs to be finished for Big Sur and instead of addressing the real issues we keep changing design and goal. One main dev already gave up fighting the PO and team lead(!) - and now I'm next. So that dev build this really clean and minimal library as the core part. But now it's just like, yeah, take that nice Porsche engine put it on the old rusty bicycle from the shed,.. but maybe because that's so shitty we need that specially formed exhaust pipe to tune it. Yeah, very 'agile' - Only thinking about it makes me shudder in disbelief and anger. I shouldn't take that shit so serious, be emotional about shit code, I know, but I can't. Let them drive some rounds around the block, if it runs at all,.. because until now we still didn't make it run on the fuckin' street. It's all so insane. Will make some nice fireball, when it goes up in flames.
Well, I have been part of quite some shitty projects. Real suicide commandos set out to fail, and somehow stood them through or made it even "work" though it should never have. But what enrages me here is, that it needn't to be that way. We had plenty of time. Our team was often rowing along in good rhythm. And now I just feel drowned in resignation and sarcasm.rant fuck po resignation crunch time shitty design manic-depressive sarcasm low roller-coaster low fail hard -
Ten ways to fail at public key cryptography, Today:
When encrypting a file for your coworker, encrypt for your own key instead of his/hers3 -
This one is more for the (surprisingly many) german folks here.
Explanation: Nobody would translate children to "Kinder" in the context of nodes in software.
The translation would be correct in the context of an ordinary family, but in software the translation of e.g. "Reply(s)" would be far more appropriate.15 -
It is not on production anymore, but it was for long enough. Someone thought it would be a great idea to be able to debug a web app while signed in as a user reporting a problem. How to do it? It's easy. Just check on every request if magic HTTP parameter SIGN_IN_AS=id is present and if it is, sign in as this user. Of course, it worked also with admin account with hard-to-guess id=1.1
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// This part of the code should never run
Came across that lovely comment when fixing a reported bug. Guess where the bug was? You guessed it XD1 -
Seagate: A reliable source of unreliable NAS Drives. Rest assured, that they're gonna fail way before everything else, so that you're warned, when your other drives may not last much longer too ◔ᴗ◔
I stopped laughing, when my NAS' external Backup Drive, a Seagate, started throwing I/O Errors ๏̯͡๏2 -
Any embedded systems software engineers out there with practical experience in writing/designing safety critical applications? (think DO-178B/C) I've got a few years embedded experience under my belt between internships, my projects, and now my relatively new job at a major aviation company, but I feel like I'm behind on this topic of safety and code that can't fail. It's simply not taught and I really want to learn more. Partially it is out of personal pride because I want to make a great product, but more importantly, what I work on is protecting a human life. I really really really want to feel confident in what I build. Is there anyone out there who's got some years under their belt that can point me to some good references? Or maybe some helpful tips? Much appreciated. If it helps, all my work is in C.10
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Obviously, I overdid it with the assembly study assignment this morning - just tried to bit-mask a variable using "andi". In C#.2
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Boss at meeting to us all: "All our data is going to be moved to this fantastic system x has made called Oracle. I don't think they created oracle."3
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Epic fail. I use a sleep timer in my music player and it occasionally fails to stop and clear the actual timer. It even perpetuates through when I actually turn off my phone, which is rather quite impressive. This is what I find when I turn my phone back on after the weekend. I don't even know how it's possible to have still been going when my phone is off... 🤔4
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I think I'll finish this before lunch...
*lunch*
I think I will finish it today!
*end of the day*
Not finished... But almost
Been coding the whole day, but my estimation was way off :(1 -
Debugging your JavaScript Code for 2 hours and trying out every imaginable solution because it works on the demo page but not your site... and then you find out the fking library had a bug and the Readme.md contained a cdn link to an old version and the demo page was up to date... arrgghh2
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When your tech lead revokes everyones merge priviliges on Github because of an issue with "code disappearing from the repo" which he originally suggested was a bug in Github and we should call them for help.
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target.state = newState
StateLog.logChange(target, target.state, newState)
Epic.
We now have a log of 1.2 million "state changes" with before=after. -
I'm really not sure. When I was 7-8 years old, I liked to view source in IE, then I somehow managed to use Javascript in the browser. First only some dumb opening of windows. And I liked Batch, so I made some files for copying, backup and stuff.
Then I got to PHP during the years from some online tutorial about making dynamic websites. My website was more static than stone, but yeah, I did page loading with PHP! Awful experience anyway, because I had to install Xampp, get it work and other stuff. 11 years old or so. (and I used Xampp only as a fileserver between laptop and desktop later, because.. PHP4... just no.)
As 12 years old or so I experienced my first World of Warcraft (vanilla) on a custom server in an internet cafe and I thought it's a singleplayer game. When I found out that no, I googled how to make my own server (hated multiplayer back then and loved good games with huge storylines). Failed miserably with ManGOS, got something to work with ArcEMU. There I learned some C++ basic stuff, which I hoped would helped me to fix some bugs. When I opened the code I was like: "Suuure." and left it like that. I learned what a MySQL database is, broke it like four times when I forgot WHERE and still rather played with websites i.e. html, css, js and optionally php when I wanted to repair a webpage for the server. With a friend we managed to get the server work via Hamachi, was fun, the server died too soon. Then I got ManGOS to work, but there wasn't really any interest to make a server anymore, just singleplayer for the lore. (big warcraft fan, don't kick me :D )
I think it was when I was 13y.o. I went to Delphi/Pascal course, which I liked a lot from the beginning, even managed to use my code on old Knoppix via Lazarus(Pascal). At this age I really liked thoae Flash games which were still common to see everywhere. So I downloaded .swfs, opened and tried to understand it. Managed to pull some stuff from it and rewrite in Pascal. Nope, never again that crap.
About the same time I got to Flash files I discovered Java. It was kind of popular back then, so I thought let's give it a try. I liked Flash more. Seriously. I've never seen so much repetitiveness and stupid styling of a code. I had either IDE for compiling C++ or Pascal or notepad! You think I wanted my code kicked all over the place in multiple folders and files? No.
So back to Pascal. I made some apps for my old hobby, was quite satisfied with the result (quiz like app), but it still wasn't the thing. And I really thought I'd like to study CS.
I started to love PHP because of phpBB forums I worked on as 15 y.o. I guess. At the same time I think there was an optional subject at school, again with Pascal. I hated the subject, teacher spoke some kind of gibberish I didn't really understand back then at all and now I find it only as a really stupid explanation of loops and strings.
So I started to hate Pascal subject, but not really the lang itself. Still I wanted something simpler and more portable. Then I got to Python as hm, 17y.o. I think and at the same time to C++ with DevC++. That was time when I was still deciding which lang to choose as my main one (still playing with website, database and js).
Then I decided that learning language from some teacher in a class seriously pisses me off and I don't want to experience it again. I choose Python, but still made some little scripts in C++, which is funny, because Python was considered only as a scripting lang back then.
I haven't really find a cross-platform framework for C++, which would: a) be easy to install b) not require VisualStudio PayForMe 20xy c) have nice license if I managed to make something nice and distribute it. I found Unity3D though, so I played with Blender for models, Audacity for music and C# for code. Only beautiful memories with Unity. I still haven't thought I'm a programmer back then.
For Python however I found Kivy and I was playing with it on a phone for about a year. Still I haven't really know what to do back then, so I thought... I like math, numbers, coding, but I want to avoid studying physics. Economics here I go!
Now I'm in my third year at Uni, should be writing thesis, study hard and what I do? Code like never before, contribute, work on a 3D tutorial and play with Blender. Still I don't really think about myself as a programmer, rather hobby-coder.
So, to answer the question: how did I learn to program? Bashing to shit until it behaved like I desired i.e. try-fail learning. I wouldn't choose a different path.2 -
When you register to dev rant and write your first rant, only to realise you didn't validate your mail address, and this validation throws you back to the front page, losing your changes3
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So yesterday there was suppose to be a test of the AlertReady Canadian program. Didn’t work in Quebec.
Reason: a trailing space
🤦♂️ -
KODESKOLE = CODESCHOOL
And they use a fucking closing dash in the beginning of the "tag"... like what the shit5 -
When a client absolutely insists on me using Wordpress for a stupidly bespoke and complicated system that "they will be ultimately selling commercially and just needs to work".1
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Pretty annoyed with Siri...
The other day I was mowing the lawn with my headphones on, and I asked her what time it was. It took her about 10 seconds to respond, and then finally she says “at the tone, the time will be 12:59 PM. Beep!” Like, she literally said the word “beep” in the response.
Ugh...so many things that annoy me about this.
One, it would have been faster to just take my phone out and look at the time.
Two, the cutesy response is annoying and takes too long for her to say.
Three, unless the time actually was approaching 12:59:00 and her response took the exact number of seconds remaining before then, the stupid “beep” isn’t even accurate!
If I ask what time it is, I just want the phone to say “12:59,” immediately. Anything longer or more convoluted than that, and it’s pointless – I could just take out the phone and look at the screen instead.2 -
Wonder how long time it will take until haveibeenpwned.com will be listed on it's on list of data breaches....
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It never gets old! The comments are awesome!
https://github.com/MrMEEE/...
https://github.com/MrMEEE/...1 -
me, first job interview:
interviewer: so how about your knowledge of java
me: yeah, done some projects, should be ok
interviewer: what about polymorphism in java, can you tell me sth about it?
me (thinking i'm totally right): hehe, you can't do polymorphism in java!
guess what, didnt get the job :D7 -
Send back my PC for RMA two weeks ago (likely dead CPU, but I just didn't know anymore)...
They send me a mail confirming that they have received it and a mail that they would start on it (along with some terms)...
Two weeks of waiting, no news at all...
Mailed back: "Oh sorry, we forgot to add the line asking whether you agreed with our terms..."
Two weeks of not being able to properly sit at my desk, play games, work on code reasonably (with my 3 screens) and edit videos I still need to finish because they forgot a stupid line in their mail --'2 -
When you testing your exception handling by throwing an exception, but the code throwing the exception has a bug and throws an exception, so you think it works... d'oh
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So the other day i was so bored and decided to try to hack a wifi. When i finally got the handshake (took 2-3 hours) I copied it to a pendrive for later cracking. When I rebooted my pc and checked the drive, it was empty.3
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IntelliJ kinda merged one of its own branches into my master and I kinda realized it too late.
Any tips on how I can set the remote HEAD to my HEAD at the commit "fixing git"?5 -
Long time ago I worked with a few developers on some relatively simple web project. We were using php and smarty and we used svn for versioning. At one point some dude joined the project as a php developer (with a few years of experience).
After a few days without any commits, we found out that he doesn't know what a SVN is or how to use it. After he learned how to use it we found out in our repo bunch of files with a following naming scheme:
filename.php
filename_1.php
filename_2.php
filename_3.php
filename_4.php
filename_5.php -
When I fail at a Rant and have to delete it out of shame and repost 😢
bug fix: 01101100 01101111 011011002 -
Started a new contract:
Dev: "here, take this draft document containing a rough explanation of the requirements and write this service that exchange messages with these two subsystems"
Me 😐"ok"
-- couple weeks later --
Dev: "oh btw, you should go through ALL the fields in those messages described in the 'documentation' and double check them because we use millimeters and they use meters, we measure milliseconds and they use seconds. You should handle conversions when you deal with those messages"
Me (in my mind): "fucking son of a bitch! Why didn't you tell me this little piece of information at the beginning so I could have accounted for that instead of bloating the code now with your spaghetti style, full of horrible hacks, ifs and workarounds?
Me 😐: "sure, I will"
(don't worry, in the end I managed to find a clean solution for that 😉) -
Dev work estimation is harder when the higher ups gives you a one line jira description and expect you to provide them with a timeline. Like how many times i gotta send the ticket back up the pipeline ><1
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Googling for Angular (>=2) documentation and finding AngularJS instead feels like cancer.
If Google was going to "update" to what is functionally a new framework, they should've named it differently instead of trying to piggyback on the popularity of AngularJS. Sure, there's similarities, but let's be realistic here.7 -
So I just woke up and started my PC, just to see this, guess Chrome didn't have it's coffee yet...2
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When you're debugging a service and your company gets an internet breakdown, which you did not realise and wonder why that string broke everything...
Until your music stops streaming. -
Yes! I am deeply interested in [Primary Topic] and would love to receive [Newsletter] in my [Mailbox]. I bet you'll even send me an email that reads Dear [first_name].1
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Client: I'm not able to see the mount storage
Me: share your configuration
Client: 📃
Me: (frustrated but still kind and polite) I see the ports are swapped between hosts which is the culprit behind the issue.
Me: can I ask the reason behind doing this?
Client: I thought red color goes left and aqua goes right.
Me: 🦍 🤐🤐 -
Delete data because it's corrupt. Angry call from support that their data is gone but they've managed to recovered it. Try to explain why it was removed only to get told they need that data. Fine whatever but if I see any more bug reports about that unit I'm not solving them because it's the data not the code. This is why I wish they'd test on their own databases, which they have, but somehow don't use.
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When the school district decides to change the passwords to every school related account of every student in your grade. Right before you take an online quiz. (They do this every year for the sophomores to make them change their passwords but they usually do it the first day, not two weeks in) Couldn't even log into the school computers, the site to check our grades, anything. Nice job guys, purposely reset passwords in the middle of the day.
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One aged person went to banker and said my son is not in country, and he asked me to withdraw money from his mutual fund account. Can you help.
Banker replied, do you have withdraw form signed. If not then can you copy his sign.
Elder guy tried it and stupid banker accepted withdraw form as well.1 -
I've lost sight of the minimum viable product. I've spent months making a product I have to redesign now.
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How many devs does it take to change a water cooler bottle?
Two (I saw them), and one DevOps to unfuck the cooler...
How does this even? There were even instructions with pictures on the wall... This explains so much.2 -
It is ok to fail and commit mistakes, that's part of the game, specially for beginner devs. Just avoid failing alone, the most you can!
I mean:
- Ask people to review your code before pushing to the source repository.
- If you are not sure how to do, ask.
- Never work in production environments without supervision. Pair with someone.
- Have a desk mate for rubberducking (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...) and blame it in case you need -
We have an unit test that tests the average of a sequence of numbers generated randomly using a gaussian distribution. Of course it fails from time to time, it's random! Failing to fail, would mean that the generator is not generating random numbers, therefore failure means success, but success does not mean failure.
Wait, why did we add this test in the first place?rant gaussian distribution statistics random of course it fails it's random bitches normal fail equals success unit test -
Shutting down Windows instead of putting it into sleep should not save state. It did, in my case.
I had Chrome opened before shutting down. It's still there.
This is very nice fail-safe method, I must say.11 -
Why does "git rm ..." Without options delete files! That is the dumbest thing ever. If I wanted to delete files, I could always type "rm file"... You forget --cached you're going to be in for a long day.
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When you catch an ArrayOutOfBounds exception and the catch statement throws an ArrayOutOfBounds exception...
Fail -
when you call your autonomous RC car "zoolander" because it won't turn left. ever. under any circumstances.
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I manage to create a circle of pointer in C during the implementation of a custom version of huffman. Spent hours trying to understand why my stack was exploding (recursive fctn) .
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So I wasted about 20 minutes yesterday because I forgot to look where I was plugging in my SD card...
I use a mid-2011 model iMac (with the CD and SD ports on the side), so, thinking I knew where the correct slot was, I attempted to put my SD card into the computer. Oh the adrenaline rush when I realized that the SD card didn't normally go all the way in...
So then I spent the next 20 minutes finding and poking various tools into the CD drive in order to fish out my 32 gig SD. Eventually I just ended up using two bent paperclips, but man, was that an adventure. -
A list with usernames and passwords have to go from customer A to customer B, because customer A does not have the permission to set these login credentials to the productive system. Additionally, the users are technically unable to change their passwords (yes I know, it's a mess there). What should customer a do? Like except burn all my customers alive and punch them...
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I was programming a nodejs app using an api written by two other devs in my company. I tried catching the cases where the requests fail, but it just did not work. Then i found out what the reason was: Apparently the other devs thought, it is enough to send the appropriate status in the json body and did not set it in the headers, so I always got a 200 back even if it failed and there was no usable data in the body.1
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By looking at the prototypes and technical ideas which I fail to implements due to various reason , I got an idea.
I got an idea to have a kind of grave yard where people can bury their fail prototype and technical ideas and other people can dug them for inspiration or profits.
As the saying goes "One man trash is another man treasure."
I hope this idea of making a grave yard will not be "an actual fail idea"5 -
Media always misinterprets anything related to computer and information technology. Recently found an Indian News channel which aired news about recent cyber attack and stated virus named "Ransomware" (not WannaCry) has affected computers all over the world. They aired wrong information without hesitation despite India being world's rapidly growing IT hub.6
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Dynamic wallpaper seems to only work in light mode for the OS. The dark mode version just shows the night picture the whole time... #fail #imcryingrightnow #ios6
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Colleague says some of my code sucks, says he's gonna rewrite and improve it.
After he finish his work, I look in his new written code:
F*ckload of unused methods and classes,
some usings of deprecated API calls...
god. It's okay, if you want to help and improve code (my code wasn't the best, I admit)... but when you do, do it the fuck right. -
max - min != center.
(min + max) * 0.5 does though...
I astound myself sometimes on Friday afternoons...2 -
Had to help my buddy run a git workshop today and... He didn't git init and wondered why it wouldn't work..
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This is from riot.im on my phone in Chrome. Somehow the rest of the site is fine, of all the places to fail at styling!
Also that's not very many languages to make a claim like that, I appreciate the effort but they've only got 1/2 languages there for me xD2 -
Todays website fail:
Notice: The called constructor method for WP_Widget in FollowMeWidget is deprecated since version 4.3.0! Use
__construct()
instead. in /home/vapingst/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 3893
Notice: The called constructor method for WP_Widget in FooterContactUsWidget is deprecated since version 4.3.0! Use
__construct()
instead. in /home/vapingst/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 3893 -
Is is only me that thinks the position of *favorite* button on rants isn't user friendly? I find myself looking for it at the top most times or long pressing rants to favorites. 😥3
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I'm a student and we are forced to still have "ordinary" classes like Danish English and such. So we were having our English class. When out of nowhere our "skps" aka those who haven't found a company. That wanna take them in as a student but anyway they started looking around the class for turned on pcs. I asked my friend what the hell they were doing. Apparently a dhcp server from our class were hooked up to the schools lan and were faster. So it leased out ips with a lease time that was 8 days long. yeah they fail configured it, the SKP had pinged the server to find out it was called Pikachu. So the whole skp was on pokemon hunt til they found it at the table we all were sitting at "side note" it caused the whole lan network of our school not to be working"
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Boss: "Enough of your doubts, you should update our cms right now"
.. Update fails, page is offline, wuhuuu :D
*thankfully I made a backup2 -
This happened while I was working for my company's client, I was analysing why the build failed and I had ctrl+c the build files(.zip) to my local webserver to see what was wrong. After sometime I was replying an official email via outlook. But somehow those copied build files (.zip) ended up in this email. I realised this only it was too late. Yes config files had clear text passwords.
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VMware 6.5 web GUI programmer fail. Probably forgot to access a specific name property of the object.3
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I once bought an external Seagate 1tb hdd. A month later, it corrupted and I lost everything on it. I ran all the diagnostics and tools to retrieve the data I could. But I was still missing a lot.
Why would anyone ever want to buy a hdd if the fail rate is much higher than ssd and ssd has much more other benefits.
Is your data not worth a $100?
Never getting an hdd again.8 -
Another great website error code fail (dumped its full error output to the website):
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/api.py", line 436, in send_error
data, 'text/html')
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/chrome.py", line 808, in render_template
template = self.load_template(filename, method=method)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/chrome.py", line 768, in load_template
self.templates = TemplateLoader(
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/chrome.py", line 481, in get_all_templates_dirs
for provider in self.template_providers:
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/core.py", line 78, in extensions
return filter(None, [component.compmgr[cls] for cls in extensions])
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/core.py", line 213, in __getitem__
component = cls(self)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/core.py", line 119, in maybe_init
init(self)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/authopenid/authopenid.py", line 157, in __init__
db = self.env.get_db_cnx()
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/env.py", line 335, in get_db_cnx
return get_read_db(self)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/api.py", line 90, in get_read_db
return _transaction_local.db or DatabaseManager(env).get_connection()
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/api.py", line 152, in get_connection
return self._cnx_pool.get_cnx(self.timeout or None)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/pool.py", line 172, in get_cnx
return _backend.get_cnx(self._connector, self._kwargs, timeout)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/pool.py", line 105, in get_cnx
cnx = connector.get_connection(**kwargs)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/sqlite_backend.py", line 180, in get_connection
return SQLiteConnection(path, log, params)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/sqlite_backend.py", line 255, in __init__
user=getuser(), path=path))
TracError: The user apache requires read _and_ write permissions to the database file /home/trac/morituri/db/trac.db and the directory it is located in. -
So I was writing SaltStack state for syslog management and I had a simple config file in place to be deployed on a test server. I was writing the command to run the state for the test server, and the only thing that was left was to type the hostname of the server (instead of wildcard) when someone interrupted me. After I got back to this terminal I instinctively pressed return sending test configuration to over 80 production servers. Nice one...
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today is my 1 year here at work
got a new desktop last week
then yesterday bought some UPS for it then back at the office my 1year old partner (laptop) decided to die on me1 -
Wooow guys!!
Get a Windows phone and go to android.com ... THE PHONE CRASHES AND REBOOTS EVERY TIME HAHAAA8 -
Todays website fail, looks like someone is using a NFS mount for the site:
"Deprecated: Non-static method PageLinesTemplate::current_admin_post_type() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /nfs/c03/h03/mnt/166492/domains/makerspace.com/html/wp-content/themes/pagelines/admin/class.options.metapanel.php on line 30" -
Very reassuring when your payment gateways XML examples have invalid markup.
I asked for XSD's and even they are invalid (containing missing type references) -
Todays website fail:
Fatal error: Call to a member function using_permalinks() on a non-object in /hermes/walnaweb11a/b2165/moo.hamradiosciencecom/hamradioscience/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 771 -
Upgrading from Crashplan Home to Pro and realize they don't actually migrate the already backed up data... Wtf? Nice going ya dopes.2
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That's what you get for using windows, NS. I wish that I could say it's the first error I see in your screens.5
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Get ready for Xmas, where online store marketing departments come up with the most meaningful slogans in the whole year. NOT!