Details
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AboutCoding bunches of stuff since 1982. Rusty Pilot, sometimes an actor..
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SkillsC#, SQL, Javascript, MVC, RabbitMQ, a little bit of Elixir & Xamarin for fun..
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Location20732
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Github
Joined devRant on 5/26/2016
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I spent 2 hours in an agile workshop with the "I do not think it means, what you think it means" guy.
When finished I could swear that if you asked the people what is agile, they would start crying. -
On one side, I don't want devs in my firm to know about devRant //Coz they know my %Username%
But on the other side, the more, the merrier.. I could rant about stuff with all those I work with..3 -
The moment you hear that a piece of code you carefully cleaned up (which was 'needed' and took days to fix) is not going be used and better be thrown away... 😠😑😣😒3
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1. Explain how a martian vending machine (wtf?) should look like and how it works.
2. Write a program to change the currency of the machine and price of martian D.
(other tasks irrelevant)
Congratulations for that recruiter guy for coming up with such a creative task *clap*clap*2 -
Twenty five goddamn minutes finding an incorrect quote mark in a bloody massive query of mySQL, I need a beer.1
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It's Tuesday and backlog grooming... This feels unnatural. It is not any less boring on Tuesday then a Monday. 😳
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*You can't make this shit up*
Recruiter: Hi, I saw your profile on LinkedIn and I think I have a great programmer opportunity for you today! Can you tell me a little bit about your experience?
Me: Sure, I mostly work with JavaScript and C# and have several years of experience in designing, developing, and deploying enterprise-level applications in production environments.
Recruiter: Hmm, um OK. Have you ever created programs using InDesign or Microsoft Word?
Me: Excuse me?
Recruiter: You know, anything like pamphlets or event brochures?
Me: Are you talking about physical paper programs such as those that accompany events/conferences?!
Recruiter: Yes! What else would I be taking about?
Me: I'm in the software development industry, so I thought you were talking about programming in that context.
Recruiter: Oh no! Those positions are for the men, sweety. I mean, I wouldn't expect any women to know that other techy stuff...
*Hangs up*44 -
Hired me on Upwork, now the deadline is coming near and he is too busy to answer any of my attempts to get response...1
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Ok.. So I applied for a web dev position at a small-to-medium sized company. They had a telephonic round which they were happy with. They then sent out an assignment for me (A simple webapp to complete in 1hr). I did it and sent them the code. Finally, the face to face interview also went well.
At the end of it all, the HR comes back and tells me - "You did not use a MVC framework for the assignment and your code was not optimized for unit testing."
Me - "Ugh. (1) You did not have to call me for the face to face interview if you did not like my code. (2) You specified NOT to use any 3rd party libraries when doing the assignment. (3) You can tell people directly that you cannot afford them."4 -
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just change the environment to dark.1 -
In a user-interface design meeting over a regulatory compliance implementation:
User: “We’ll need to input a city.”
Dev: “Should we validate that city against the state, zip code, and country?”
User: “You are going to make me enter all that data? Ugh…then make it a drop-down. I select the city and the state, zip code auto-fill. I don’t want to make a mistake typing any of that data in.”
Me: “I don’t think a drop-down of every city in the US is feasible.”
Manage: “Why? There cannot be that many. Drop-down is fine. What about the button? We have a few icons to choose from…”
Me: “Uh..yea…there are thousands of cities in the US. Way too much data to for anyone to realistically scroll through”
Dev: “They won’t have to scroll, I’ll filter the list when they start typing.”
Me: “That’s not really the issue and if they are typing the city anyway, just let them type it in.”
User: “What if I mistype Ch1cago? We could inadvertently be out of compliance. The system should never open the company up for federal lawsuits”
Me: “If we’re hiring individuals responsible for legal compliance who can’t spell Chicago, we should be sued by the federal government. We should validate the data the best we can, but it is ultimately your department’s responsibility for data accuracy.”
Manager: “Now now…it’s all our responsibility. What is wrong with a few thousand item drop-down?”
Me: “Um, memory, network bandwidth, database storage, who maintains this list of cities? A lot of time and resources could be saved by simply paying attention.”
Manager: “Memory? Well, memory is cheap. If the workstation needs more memory, we’ll add more”
Dev: “Creating a drop-down is easy and selecting thousands of rows from the database should be fast enough. If the selection is slow, I’ll put it in a thread.”
DBA: “Table won’t be that big and won’t take up much disk space. We’ll need to setup stored procedures, and data import jobs from somewhere to maintain the data. New cities, name changes, ect. ”
Manager: “And if the network starts becoming too slow, we’ll have the Networking dept. open up the valves.”
Me: “Am I the only one seeing all the moving parts we’re introducing just to keep someone from misspelling ‘Chicago’? I’ll admit I’m wrong or maybe I’m not looking at the problem correctly. The point of redesigning the compliance system is to make it simpler, not more complex.”
Manager: “I’m missing the point to why we’re still talking about this. Decision has been made. Drop-down of all cities in the US. Moving on to the button’s icon ..”
Me: “Where is the list of cities going to come from?”
<few seconds of silence>
Dev: “Post office I guess.”
Me: “You guess?…OK…Who is going to manage this list of cities? The manager responsible for regulations?”
User: “Thousands of cities? Oh no …no one is our area has time for that. The system should do it”
Me: “OK, the system. That falls on the DBA. Are you going to be responsible for keeping the data accurate? What is going to audit the cities to make sure the names are properly named and associated with the correct state?”
DBA: “Uh..I don’t know…um…I can set up a job to run every night”
Me: “A job to do what? Validate the data against what?”
Manager: “Do you have a point? No one said it would be easy and all of those details can be answered later.”
Me: “Almost done, and this should be easy. How many cities do we currently have to maintain compliance?”
User: “Maybe 4 or 5. Not many. Regulations are mostly on a state level.”
Me: “When was the last time we created a new city compliance?”
User: “Maybe, 8 years ago. It was before I started.”
Me: “So we’re creating all this complexity for data that, realistically, probably won’t ever change?”
User: “Oh crap, you’re right. What the hell was I thinking…Scratch the drop-down idea. I doubt we’re have a new city regulation anytime soon and how hard is it to type in a city?”
Manager: “OK, are we done wasting everyone’s time on this? No drop-down of cities...next …Let’s get back to the button’s icon …”
Simplicity 1, complexity 0.16 -
Whenever I can't figure out my bugs/errors, I take a break or sometimes go home and check back on it the next day.
I always remember what Albert Einstein said:
"We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."3 -
I've never written a line of PHP in my life. Been contacted by 2 recruiters this week who were looking for experienced PHP developers
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starts weekend with full mood to work on personal project.
End up watching youtube videos all day long.1