Realest comments ever written

I can't name one specific time that was the best memory per say. My team is super close - we get lunch almost every day, have (inappropriate) inside jokes and just act dumb together. Not one person on my team who doesn't fit in. Even our boss is cool. :) #LoveMyTeam

Happy holidays.....unless you're a Windows PC

That feeling

A programmer was smoking.

A lady standing near by asked him can't you see the warning? smoking is injurious for health!!

He replied, "We are bothered only about errors NOT warnings"....

Manager : you are fired

Me: *pausing Netflix*
Me : why?

Once C++ walks into a bar and sees C.

C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting, and swearing.

How classless! -says C++

A colleague at work always says L.O.L. to jokes instead of actually laughing. So fucking annoying I feel like punching him in the face! 😤

Sometimes it takes too long to fix it :(

Web3 developers tried to warn us about the rapidly rising gas fees for years. We didn’t listen.

Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.

My manager’s manager (my superboss)..

Every time we go for a design discussion, this guy goes into his own world of inspiration, motivation, religion and damn things.. the more you think of pulling him back, the more lame jokes he starts to crack, the more you’ll bring in work related talks, the more stupid his output will be.. it is now resulting in a late delivery date, a frustrated manager, and a frustrated team. Moreover he says, he’s inspired from Elon Musk, dafuq, I mean seriously? What part of his approach on productivity you actually got inspired by? Sleep?

Interns in any company the solution is commethe code

When a Feature is not developed yet. From “Reddit”

In August 2021 I asked my bosses for a raise for my extra work that I done for the last 6 months to create the first 4 microservices in the company and deploy them in production on a new infrastructure that is cloud based.
Today 27/01/2022 they reported how happy they are of me and that they will take my proposal *in consideration*.
Now i am searching for a new job.

Funny part: I am simple guy if they would have given me a NAS from Synology with lot of space as a reward I would actually have been happy.

P.S. jokes on them, i left 4 easter eggs hidden in the app, pipeline, db and user manual.

If you're subscribed to me only because of my jokes, feel free to ignore this rant. You won't miss anything.

If not, bear with me.

I was wrong about almost everything I can remember. Preaching so-called “conceptual thinking”, I invented a fantasy world of random anecdotes, which turned into a completely false worldview that shaped my reality. I bashed magical thinking, yet succumbed to it. What I believed to be true was just as magical, wrapped into what sounded like science. In the Dunning-Krueger scheme, I was right there on Peak Stupid.

Random hear-say, stupid concepts I invented, random “knowledge” I picked from YouTube videos, all that was rotting inside my head, one anecdote contradicting another. Ultimately, I think this was the reason of my constant anxiety and pointless, never-ending thought process in background.

If you learned anything factual from me and didn't fact-check it, please forget that immediately. The list includes but is not limited to everything on brain structure, everything on philosophy, almost everything on engineering and architecture, almost everything on systems theory and programming meta stuff (declarative, imperative, etc.)

I admit bashing unit tests. The only reason was me disliking writing them in uni. I wrote like three test cases, disliked it, and the rest was history. Everything else was a rationalization on top. If I was right about something, I was just lucky.

I'm not a CSS prodigy. I know stuff that earns me money and impresses my colleagues, but my knowledge is just one step above basics, in one thousand steps ladder.

Bossman told me to give my project more hierarchy and to add all those weird __init__.py files.

I don,t quite like all those boring empty files, so anyone got some bri'ish language "innit?" jokes or other awful puns to add as comments?

Software developers like to solve problems.

If there are no problems available ,

They will create there own problems.

past time: Making jokes on programmer humor forums about the jokes being told on the humor forum.

fall out: Autists who don't get the joke of the joke and genuinely think they need to explain the original joke even though it is "obvious" it was a play on words.

struggle: Resisting explaining to them the joke on the joke. And if I break down and explain, trying not to be a condescending prick. Most of the time I don't respond.

Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?

They are both useless when you open windows.

"You're one hell of an exception I would like to try & catch"

What's your programmer pick up lines?

Documentation is like drugs.
When it's good you'll keep going back for it. When it's not, you'd rather get it at the source. 🧟

Spin-off of another rant.

I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE TEEN TITANS GO, IT RUINED TEEN TITANS FOR ME AND I HATE THOSE LITTLE STUPID DUMB VERSIONS OF THE ORIGINAL BETTER TEEN TITANS.
IT SHOULD'VE NEVER HAPPENED AND NEVER EXISTED AND I FUCKING HATE IT AND IT SUCKS!
WE SHOULD CANCEL TEEN TITANS GO AND RUIN THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT AND DIRECTED ITS LIVES. I AM FILLED WITH HATRED AND RAGE, AND WHEN THEY MAKE THOSE STUPID UNFUNNY "JOKES" IT PISSES ME OFF AND MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT MURDER! I AM SO PISSED OFF AFTER WATCHING AN EPISODE OF IT, THE CREATORS SHOULD BE SUED.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ENJOY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

🥱 yaaaaaasaaaaawn....sooooooo tired, I need a REST.

Deez Nuts

Hey guys I need an interview tip here.

I applied to this payment processing company as an android dev. I completed almost all of the stages, they gave very positive feedback and tomorrow is the last stage (30min talk with their CTO from USA, who's been in his company for 18 years).

They told me that he wont ask many questions and he will just try to scan me and figure out the vibe. Mind that the main company is in USA and company where I'm applying is in Europe. So I guess this is a final test to see how good I'm in english in terms of speaking? Jokes on them I worked in 3 startups in Europe and I can speak better than most of my peers who never left my country lol.

What kind of questions should I ask HIM? I am able to leave a good impression, but I would also appreciate any tips on how to deal with this better. Apparently I will need to communicate with this guy from time to time in the future, as he is the head of our project.

What is the future scope of QA automation, is it good or should someone switch to Dev asap !?